Becoming More And Being Thankful

At the end of every year we look back at the wonderful and tragic events that have happened in our lives…
…and take inventory...

I’ve realized how easy my life is and it makes me thankful…

My Children are healthy, happy, intelligent, loud, obnoxious, curious and imaginative…they are perfectly Mine.
My Mom and Dad are still around to guide and advise Me…and my relationship with them is wonderful.
My Friends are faithful, fun...and love me so much they get upset with me when I don’t tell them something is wrong.
I have a roof over my head. It’s no mansion for sure and my Mother doesn’t understand why I like my house so much but to me it symbolizes my freedom.
I have food on the table. I’m thankful I know how to cook great meals for next to nothing cost wise.
I’m healthy. Yes, I had 2 surgeries this year but they were not major.
My spiritual life is strong.

My attitude is a matter of perspective for me.
To stand on the kitchen counter for a different view (proverbially unless you wanna see where you need to dust)…and see things from someone else’s point of view is important to me.

I do take time for myself and I am grateful I can and do. I wish some of you would do the same. It’s ok to be a Mom (or Dad) and look good doing it.

My life isn’t perfect. I have my issues just like everyone else.
My matter are small compared to others…POV (Point of view)

Is it wrong of me to want more…?
To want to…
...Become More…?
More for my Children.
More for my Family.
More for my Friends.

Someone said to me a little bit a go…
…”There is a difference between what you believe and what I believe.”
…”You believe you CAN do it. I believe you WILL do it.”
That’s how much love, support and acceptance I have in my life.

I’m thankful everyday for everything and everyONE in my life.

Who Do You Think You Might Vote For?

I’m a Republican (?).
I’m also a Wiccan…
…which some people may not think makes sense.
I’m not the girl who votes party lines as I feel like the Republican party went askew somewhere in the last 30 years.

I have no love for the Republicans, the Democrats or the Tea Party.

I’m fiscally conservative unless it comes to buying shoes.
I’m socially liberal and I like guns.
I believe in States Rights.
If a State wants to legalize Marijuana they should be allowed without interference.
If a State wants to legalize Marriage for ALL people (adult people) they should be allowed…
…If the people of a State vote for something the Federal government should not interfere if that’s what the ‘We the People…’ decide.
If you don’t like it…move to another State of like minded People.

Keep Religion OUT of Politics.
Something has gone terribly wrong.

Note…People who say our country was founded on Religion…it was…Religious FREEDOM, for all, not just a select few.

Note…My regular readers know I love and respect Religions…all Religions, unless they degrade, look down upon others and/or wish to cause harm.
…and please…don’t push your beliefs on Me and I won’t push mine on You.

I feel bad for Mitt Romney. I would never vote for him but I still feel bad for him. It’s gotta be hard being a Mormon. I wonder if JFK, the first and only Catholic to be to be elected President of the US, felt like Mitt when his Religion was attacked?

Note…I once had a Protestant in a small Georgia town once say to a Catholic…
…”Oh so you’re not a Christian?”
Probably one of the dumbest and uneducated things I have ever heard.

So now to…
…’Who are you gonna vote for?’
Is it to early to ask that question?

The field of candidates is piss poor as far as I can tell.

I liked Herman Cain, kinda sad to see him gone.

There seems to be no, “Middle of the Road ‘Guy’”.
There never is though is there?

Those of us that are reasonable, middle of the road and not enveloped by some Religious fundamentalism have to pick the lesser of all evils.

Note…Yes, I said Religious Fundamentalism…
Anyone that thinks that someone else’s belief system is wrong and pushes it on another is a fundamentalist to me.
…And they are in most cases hypocrites.
Higher and mightier but behind closed doors they do that which they preach is wrong.
…and when I say that which they preach as wrong…
I mean…
…Adultery
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/01/cheating-spouse.html
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/03/are-you-thinking-about-having-affair.html
(The above is how I feel…I really don’t care what other people do, just don’t be a hypocrite.)
…Lying
…Stealing
…Or even someone that thinks others are inferior.
If you would like to know what I believe you can read the blog below…it might be different than what you think…and I pray everyday to have the patients to endure that of the Religious right that thinks I need to be saved and that I’m wrong or just plain off my rocker.
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2010/12/love-spell.html

I’m NOT a fundamentalist, and I sure don’t want one as my President.
…As far a Obama is concerned I have no great love for him either.

What are we normal average middle of the road people supposed to do?

The 10th Day Before Christmas

’Twas the tenth day before Christmas
She had sent a note out
To men friends around
To help with a treadmill
Stuck in the ground

She heard from one man
The night of the note
Hoping to hear
From more when she woke

Not a peep of a sound
From any around
Had she said something wrong?
She felt kinda down

She let it all go
She would figure it out
She would enlist her friends husbands
They would help without doubt

Off to breakfast she went
To meet her fab crew
A fancy smack talking Posse
That knows how to brew

The waiter named Taylor
Did not stand a chance
As they asked for things
Like Vodka fat chance!

They drank pots of coffee
With fresh whipped cream
As they ate their breakfast
Of eggs like a team

For hours they sat
As their bellies grew
Hopped up on coffee
And a little tea too

The discussion this day
Was the film of the week
Filled with stars and starlets
Past their peak

New Years Eve
They were ready to see
As most of them bowed out
Thinking it wouldn’t please

The 11th Day Before Christmas

'Twas was the eleventh day before Christmas
And she looked all around
A mess she had made
Boxes abound

Papers and tape, ribbons galore
Strewn all over her living room floor
She knew she would have to clean up
Before heading though the door

The post office beckoned
But gifts to procure
For her Family and Friends
She needed forsure

She looked and she browsed
With nothing in-site
Till a text came through
From a Friend with no foresight

A last minute lunch
With CSRM’s
Salads and noodles and a gameboy too
They sat and they chatted for two hours WaHooo

Topics of discussion
Vaginas to boobs
Nothing off limits
For this fabulous crew

They hemed and they hawed
Laughing and chatting
The smack talk was flying
Their ideas wise cracking

A flyer to be made
To hand out to twits
That held up school traffic
And gave us tourettes

The 12th Day Before Christmas

It was the twelfth day before Christmas and all through the house
Only she was stirring
Cause she'd kicked her Children right out
A school day it was much to their dread
She had showered and dressed, heeled shoes to tread

The dishes were done
The kitchen floor swept
She had coupons to look through
For doodads and tools

She was thinking to her self
“What to do with that box?”
Electronics she thought with a chill
“What did I get myself into and do I need a drill!?”

She had cleaned out their closets
To make room for more crap
Her trunk was so full so off to GoodWill
To help someone out and fill their till

Through traffic she flew
Weaving and waving
Only one stop sign was run
‘cause no one was waiting

To WalMart she went
And waited and waited
As the helpers ignored her
She stood unabated

Lloyd with his big belly
His shirt barely fitting
To much time gaming
And to much time not mating

She left empty handed
At Target they will know
With their red shirts a blazing
And a StarBucks it’s just amazing

My Basketball Dilemma

My Daughter, BrownNut plays Basketball…She loves Basketball.

Twice a week her team practices and on Saturdays she has games.
We are in to the second game…
…and second loss.
Neither were close games, they are getting pounded!

I have a dilemma.

Our girls are not aggressive assertive.
They DO have great sportsmanship though.

How do you teach 9 and 10 year old girls to be aggressive assertive?

I’ve been known to be on the aggressive assertive side…
I can hear some of you as you read that…
...”Ya don’t say!”…
…”Wow, way to state the obvious.”

I wasn’t an athlete as a child, I was lanky and accident prone.

I can hear some of you…again...as you read that…

...”Ya don’t say!”…

…”Wow, way to state the obvious.”

When I was in my 20’s and started playing Crud I realized that I really liked winning. When the game was over it ended for me…win or loose I considered it over (I am a “Good game!” Kinda Gal, mostly). Every once in awhile my Ex would go over what I did wrong and how I could improve my game…yes, stupid I know, it was just Crud. I wanted to improve though.

Our ‘teams’ would play both Women and Men. 

The next day I would wake up with bruises all over my thighs and arms and once ended up with cracked ribs…He was a big fella.

When I went to the flight Doc about my ribs that week she said…

…”You played a great game.” 

Later I was able to coach/teach other Women how to play Crud…
I enjoyed teaching the Women how to play.
Some of them were already aggressive assertive and didn’t mind getting in someones face, others needed a little pushing and prodding…
We were adults though…I could say what I wanted to them and they could say what they wanted back to me...

I’m not my Daughters coach. I've never played basketball…I don’t know the rules of the game (I’m learning slowly).

What I do know are some lessons for life...
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/12/lessons-for-our-children.html

To teach young Girls to be aggressive assertive is something I can do/want to do.
I’m all about empowerment…and Girl power.
…and if you want a motivational speech…That I CAN do.

I of course would have to watch my language…
I wonder if the Coach would let me?

Lessons For Our Children

Here we are, Parent’s trying to instill qualities of leadership, independence, good manners and sportsmanship in our Children.

When our Children commence on a new journey they usually do it with idealism, naivete and the belief that youth calls out…
...”Anything is possible!”

We need teach them to…
…Read before writing.
…Think before speaking.
…Every action will cause a reaction.
…Consider the consequences.
…Never tear someone down to build yourself up.
…Challenge each other to strive for their personal best.
…Cheer each other on.

That the minimum doesn’t cut it…

…Run a bit faster and longer.

…Read one more page.

…Nothing is free.
…Hard work is worth it.

…Commit to do your best.

I’ve run into something else we need to teach, specifically to our Girls.

How to be assertive.

I’m talking about teaching them to fight and stand up for themselves. 

…all the while working with a team.

Society often calls a Woman that holds her ground or goes after something she wants...
...a Bitch.
We need to teach them there is another word aggressive ASSERTIVE.

They will fail sometimes and “Hey, life’s not always fair”…
…That there are people that are not compassionate, are not team players…and will try to bring them down.
In those instances that’s when they will have to be ASSERTIVE.
…Even if they are not the taller person, they can be the bigger one.
…Even if they are not the loudest their voice can be heard.

Having a strong resolve and being assertive can launch them to great things…and with hard work they can and will change the world…and God knows we need a change.

Note…When I referred to the word, Bitch, I’m not talking about the stab in the back, not accept an apology or talking shit about people they have never met…kind of Bitch. (Those ones are just jealous of another’s______ fill in the blank;)

Road Rage

I have serious anger issues…I laugh as I type…’cause I really don’t.

That Kiss and Drop line Piss and Drop line though or the Stop and Go Kick and Go whatever you want to call it puts me over the edge almost every morning!

I must mouth…”YOUR STUPID!” a hundred times…Ok, maybe not really a hundred, I exaggerate.

One day I fear this will happen…
I will be minding my own business at some middle class run of the mill establishment like Target or Starbucks.

Note...There is a Starbucks in our Target so for my story line I’ll be in Target after a visit to Starbucks. …

I’ll have my steamy, skinny latte with whip in hand, dressed like I just came from or am going to some shindig that no one else was invited to including me and I will be perusing the isles for nothing in particular killin’ time before I head to lunch with my Friends and some stranger in sweat pants pushing a cart filled with picture frames that she will put photos of her Children in, hang them on the wall in her house she doesn’t clean often enough and is decorated with ducks, plaid and lazy easychairs...will approach me…
This is what will go down…

Her…”You have a serious problem.”

Note…she will recognize me. I won’t recognize her because the last time I saw her she had infuriated me with her stupid, retarded, mentally slow self  to the point that my eyes had glazed over with fury she had made me so angry...

Me…”I’m sorry is there toilet paper hanging from my pants?” As I smile and flash my intensely white teeth…
…I consider toilet paper hanging out of my pants a serious problem.
Her…”No…What is your problem at the school?!”
Me…”Ohhhhhh.” I gaze at her feeling bad ‘cause she doesn’t know…
…THAT SHE’S STUPID!
Me…”What kind of car, truck or van do you drive?”

I will then give a diatribe calmly describing my issues with retarded mentally slow people and that there was…
…no need to sit in her car and watch her Child get INTO the school building and hold up all the traffic.
…wait for some other retard mentally slow person to let her in the  OTHER lane as she holds up all the traffic, when she should be already dropping her Child off ‘cause HER lane is EMPTY.
There are a lot of issues I have and everyday someone does something even more retarded mentally slow which creates more issues with me.

Enough about the school…now I’m gonna bitch about other retards mentally slow people...

Indicators…
An indicator is that little dodad to the left of your steering wheel that you flip up for right and down for left.
…or if you have ever lived where ya drove on the left side you just turn your windshield wipers on…
As I was saying…
This morning I’m at a stop sign and a car is coming down the road, in the left lane. I see this and start to pull out…this jackass though doesn’t know where his indicators are I’m guessing(?) and that under normal circumstance if you are changing lanes or turning you INDICATE to those around you of your intentions…Because I had to come to a crashing screaming halt because YOU didn’t INDICATE you were gonna randomly change lanes for no other reason that I can gather but to give me fodder for this ridiculous bitchy blog!
You’re Mcfucktard.

I could go on and on about indicators…I have a problem when people don’t use them because to many people think they are special (?)…yeah they are, short bus special!

Note…Don’t get your panties in a wad just ‘cause I made a reference to ‘the short bus’.

Oh and one more thing…
…for now…
Speeding…
Speeding is fine. It’s not really putting you out, or me…If you are going faster than me I’ll INDICATE I’ll get out of the way and into the other lane to let you by. I’m NOT the Mcfucktard that will deliberately slow down in front of you.
I however will most likely be the one going the fastest…
‘Cause if you haven’t noticed yet I’m going nowhere…FAST!

Note…I don’t really have road rage…I’m usually laughing at peoples retarded-ness mentally slow actions so hard I’m crying.

What To Do When You Are A White Girl And Your Daughter Has Black Hair

This is gonna be odd I know…
I cover SO many subjects you might think this one is out of the blue…
…it’s not.

I have several friends who have adopted children…My friends are caucasian white women….they have Children that were adopted and are black they are not African American these were domestic adoptions.

There is a HUGE hair issue…any black Woman would agree…our fashizzle is just not the same.

What do you do though if your little girl has hair that is totally out of your realm of experience and knowledge?

Note…I’m not really gonna help you…well I am…I’m just gonna do it my way…ya know, “Make it your own.”…”You mean do it ourselves?”
Yes…that’s an old school quote from The Un-Holy Trinity Me, Myself and I that is sometimes called Barbie….or African Barbie to ShowGirl;)

Here is what ya do…and I learned this from F3 who’s daughter is half Black and half Laotian…her hair is ALL black though!

You stalk the ‘black hair’ section at Wal Mart and accost some poor black Woman ok, you just made an assumption that I meant she didn’t have money but I mean is that this ‘poor’ woman you hope has some compassion and will take the time to listen to your story and see your daughter’s jacked up hair and feel bad for you cause you are just a white girl with no clue how to ‘do’ black hair and ask her for advice.

The Herman Cain Affair

This is gonna be short.
Herman Cain had an affair, allegedly(?). A 13 year long one.

This is where I stand.
I could care less.
Oh wait, that’s not true.
I do care…
Ginger White, if she had any scruples, would have kept her mouth shut.

I don’t care who sleeps with whom.
She said it’s not political and he shouldn’t be President.
Not political my ass.

I raise my glass to you Ms. White...
“To your 15 minutes, Ginger!"

When a person in a powerful position has an affair…
…they need to make sure it cannot be used against them.
I mean in several ways.
Against their family of course (nobody wants to see another hurt).
…and
Most importantly...
...by another Country.

Am I silly or ridiculous for feeling this way? Nah.

I don’t care if someone has an affair.
But if you do…Newt Gingrich…
…Don’t have a double standard.

Ms. White had an affair with a married Man.
I wonder if she feels jilted?
She knew he was married.
If you are going to do something like this…ya know sleep with married Men…
…don’t expect jack shit from them…
AND
…KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT!

Or ya could wait years down the road and write a tell all book…
Or not.

KillingLinguist

A cunning linguist is someone who understands words, languages, how to put a sentence together and enunciate words…
…properly.

Note…Please don’t think this will be boring scroll towards the bottom if you must.
Boring I am not scroll to the bottom must you hard headed be.

Everyone has pet peeves and the fact that many are killing the English language is one of mine…
…hence the title ‘KillingLinguist’.

Note…My three ‘…’ are not under fire here so please leave them behind…behind let them be (said in my Yoda voice) leave them alone…;0
Also to be left alone is my fascination with capitalizing proper nouns…I am aware they are not meant to be capitalized.
If you want to attack me I’ll pull out my inner Yoda.

I’m going to be obnoxious here and mark prepositions with an *…
...after it*
…after each one.
(Don’t worry I’ll get bored of that eventually I’m sure.)

Prepositions seem to* be* confusing to* most Americans. Did We (the royal 'We'…meaning the masses) not study them in* school?
Simply put…a preposition is a connecting word.

The WORST offense to* my ears and eyes are…
…”Where you going to*?”
…”Where you at*?”
First off they forgot the ‘ARE’…
…”Where ARE you going to*?”
…”Where ARE you at*?”
Two ways to fix My problem that You have is…
…”Where are you going?”
…”Where are you?”
If you insist on using a preposition you need to connect it…although this is also a waste of your breath and my time as well because it’s still wrong. It’s just something people like to think is ok…it’s not though.
…”Where are you going to* Bitch?”
…”Where are you at* Douche Bag?”

Exclusions example…...
1. "Where are you coming from*?”
That’s ok.
2. “From* where are you coming?”
Nobody I know speaks like* this.

Now…
Please read these next lines ALOUD as the all powerful Yoda, the greatest cunning linguist of all time, albeit from a galaxy far, far away...

“Young pad wan, solution I have!"

"Like Yoda we all speak."

"Problems end they will."

"Prepositions not matter and behind us now."

"Life better it will be."

"Have more fun we must."

"Stop the bitching I may…” This is doubtful.

"New problem find I can."

"Pee my pants laughing I will, though with you not at you.”

“Killing many Linguists with sabers we will.”

Note…Stop I don’t want…ceasing difficult when channelling Yoda…
…ending point I must!

“Harry Potter my Children watch they do.”

"Get off my Mac I must.”

…;)

Crave

This is a shout out to lovers of all things delicious, meaty and messy!

Sometimes I Crave a sandwich or a burger…
I prefer them to be sloppy with condiments and fixings oozing down my hands till I have to knife and fork it.
I’m not a salad and a glass of water kinda gal.

I had to put my fashizzle back together

F16 and I headed to Crave the other day...
…and today I still Crave it.
A burger joint that puts shame on any other burger joint I’ve been too.
A myriad of fattening combinations that …
...if you eat the whole thing you’ll probably intake enough calories for a week and your allowance of fat for a month….
Ahhhhhh...to be an American!

What’s awesome and different about this place is those burger choices are ALSO the sandwiches sans the burger…glorious absurd choices that make odd sense and excite your taste buds.
For girls like F16 and me we were thankful to see the other side of the menu…you can have all the joys of your burger…with out the burger. We may not be ‘salad’ girls but we still need to watch our calorie in-take.

So we ordered...

...Colorado: Shredded lamb, poblanos, onions, pepper jack cheese, avocado, chipotle mayo and tomatoes. $11.00

...Dim Sum Daffy: Roasted duck, ginger garlic cream cheese, red pepper, avocado, lettuce, onion, crispy wontons, hoisin.

$11.00

Our sides were sweet potato fries and fried pickles.
The fried pickles were a bit on the salty side (and $2 more)…that is the ONLY bad thing I have to say.
We split our sandwiches in half so we could both try them…
The lamb and the duck were not gamey, but tender and flavorful.

I would love to describe the flavors…but I’m an Un-Holy Trinity and there was a party in my mouth!
The bread was a perfect softness, I’m not gonna call it a bun…buns are often dry and unappetizing.
The roasted peppers, on both sandwiches added even more flavor and were perfect additions.
OH!…and the crispy wonton on the  Dim Sum Daffy…was an excellent extra of crunch!

Yeah…whatev…I’m raving about a burger joint and we didn’t even have a burger….that’s why I have to go back!
They also have milkshakes, which, because of calorie and fat content I HAD to skip but they looked SOooo yummy and even have Adult ones…
…F1 is ‘spirit’ filled so I’ll have to bring her so we all can share one…or two.

http://craverealburgers.com/

My bad if you don’t live here and don’t have one near you…’cause you are missin’ out!

The Piss And Drop Line

Anyone that has to drive their little People to school in the morning and drop them off might feel my pain…

They call it the ‘Kiss and Drop’ line.
Tricia re-named it appropriately the ‘Piss and Drop’ line.
It’s a trainwreck driven by retarded mentally slow Moms and Dads.

Note…I break a lot of rules. I do not break rules that inconvenience people though. I don’t think.

There is a 4 way stop sign at an intersection next to the school. I was always under the impression that the first person to reach the intersection was the next to go. However at this intersection you would be mistaken if you had such a thought.
Many times N, the nice cross walk lady is stopping traffic to get Children across the street…and you might be sitting there awhile and some Asshole other person to your left or right in front of you that HASN’T been waiting and has just stopped at said stop sign decides after the little people get across that they are more important than you and oblivious to their surroundings edge forward.

…This happens to me daily.
…Today I yelled at some idiot that it wasn’t their turn. She looked at me like I was the devil...I’m just an Un-Holy Trinity though.


 

So we have two lanes coming from two directions when dropping off our Children. None of this is complicated but you would think that to some it’s like splitting atoms. 

If you come from the north you go into the lane north lane. If you come from the other direction you go into the other lane as to not hold up traffic.
People hold up traffic ALL the time.

Yesterday this event took place… it’s a common occurrence in the morning. I’m not sure if he doesn’t trust our very nice Librarian or Gym teacher to get his Children across the cross walk or not. I would be insulted if I were either Teacher. He’s lucky I didn’t get out of my car and open up a can of whoop ass on him…but I know that I’m not SUPPOSED to get out of my car.

In the afternoon it’s almost worse. I park my car legally on the street and walk up to get my Children. Many Mom’s get out of their cars and visit with their friends mean while the bell has rung and they are nowhere to be found leaving a well laid plan in shambles. 

…with cars and minivans unable to move forward.

This Idiot retard mentally slow person vex’s me daily. I can’t turn down the street sometimes because the bus can’t stop at the stop sign and there is another car parked…legally on the other side of the street. I’ve told her it’s against the law. She just ignores me. I think she’s one of my Haters…

This is Me yesterday. I got pulled over for blocking an intersection. I was VERY embarrassed. The people in front of me though…one particular AssHole put me in a position that I could not remove MySelf from. I did not get a ticket because the nice Police Officer saw what had happened.

I’m sure My Haters were laughing at Me.

I don’t think this is gonna make me any Friends…I don’t think I care anymore.
I do hope however you enjoyed my fancy illustrations.

The McRib

Yesterday after I picked up my son from Korean school I decided to treat my Children because I had been to lazy to go to the grocery store and didn’t think ramen would be acceptable two days in a row.
One wanted Subway the other two wanted McDonalds.
While at Subway I ordered Myself an Italian BMT….(thankfully, but I’ll get to that later.)
We headed to McDonalds which is the official restaurant of the Olympics (????!!!!)

How many Olympians actually eat McDonalds?... and do you really think it would be a good choice if you are in-training to be one of our great athletes?

So there I am in the drive thru and I see the McRib on the menu.
My inner black man starts screaming at me!!! I can say this...I may be white but I’m African American for reals...
I’ve never had a McRib before.
I have a commercial flashback, similar I think to an LSD flashback because I’m about to do something retarded mentally slow…
…McRib commercials stream into my gray matter all at once, brazen rainbows dazzling my psyche, birds start chirping in a language only I can understand…
I am no longer in control…I have no clue where Me and Myself are either!

Me…”We would like to have a McRib, 2 Quarter Pounders…please, thank you…yada, yada, yada.”

We get home with all our fashizzle and set the table up.

A picture is worth a thousand words but I’m to unindustrious to count mine…

I open up my shiny container with the knowledge of an Oracle that there is nothing magic in the box and I will be disappointed…

My first bite was…
…of uninteresting bread topped with sesame seeds…for flavor?…
Then my teeth bite through an object that can only be described as solidified wall paper paste with a sauce, BBQ…?…bland, weak and tame.
What’s the big deal?
Is the commercial so enveloping we can not see what we KNOW to be true?!
It’s shit in a satiny package!...made of cardboard.
I look at the McRib that I have bitten into…I give it another go, maybe it’s just me…

That’s SUPPOSED to be pork?…product!

The inside looks like left over flesh after a cosmetic surgical procedure following a season of the biggest loser. 

I’ve seen hot dogs made of more austere pig parts than this mess...

You can put pickles, onions and some dreadful sauce…you can shape this monstrosity of meat product (I did not cross that out on purpose)…into an artful pose but it will always be…

…a temptation to never order one again…

I ate my BMT from Subway————>

That I had ordered earlier...

A quarter of it anyway…thankful I had REAL food to sink my teeth into…something with flavor

Does High School Ever End?

I wasn’t the most popular kid in school. I was friends with different people from different groups. The Goth’s, the Jock’s, the Geek’s, the Surfer’s, the Skater’s...
I was a bit of a freestyler, flirting around hoping to make someone’s day better.

Lot’s of people look back at High School and remember drama galore. I think there was drama because it’s a time when young people have hormones rushing through their juvenile bodies and they’re still getting used to it.

I don’t remember to much drama…drama came later in life.

It started when I married my now Ex…a Squadron encompassing a whole bunch of Spouse’s Women some of whom had nothing to do but get in other people’s business.
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2010/11/im-barbie.html
Things got worse as he moved up the ranks…I was shocked at the amount of talking behind backs…and to faces about shit that was no-bodies business…
…Oh and the rumor mill was a factory headed by Spouse’s Women with a retarded mentally slow point of view.
There were...
Control freaks of Spouse’s Women for no other reason than their Husband Spouse had some fancy decoration on their shoulder. (Just a handful, thank the heavens.)
Then you had other Spouse’s Women who felt snubbed at the most innocent things and started a rampage...
…’So and so is not attending my Pampered Chef party!..what nerve, I’m not going to her social!’
When I was the President of the Officers Wives Club, stop laughing and clean up the mess you just made all over your computer I know you just spit out your Starbucks. My goal then was to entwine the Enlisted Spouses Club with the OWC and get rid of the conventional ideas of what the OWC was and who the members were. We all know I’m a ‘little’ out of the box.
I was hoping I could change people’s perceptions…it’s something I’m still working on.
It was ridiculous.
It was so High School sometimes.

Note…It was also great times filled with amazing friends.

I’m now a Mom and my life is very different than it used to be…
My Children attend school (Elementary my dear Watson) and I have my clique I hang out with as we stand and wait for our Children to be unleashed upon us released when the bell rings.
Yes, I’m in a clique. That’s the only way I can describe it if you are looking from the outside in. The view from the inside though, these Women are my tried and true Friends and we support each other through hard times and laugh till we cry through good ones.
I walk up to the school and smile a genuine smile when I’m able to make eye contact with people I know and those I don’t.

I know there are people that don’t like me. I like to say it’s just because I exist.
I have the Hater Nation, I know it…
...Funny story now about Member #2…
…the other day I had to go to my Children’s school...as I was walking up a car pulls to the curb and the passenger got out. This was at the moment we would cross paths. It was the Dwarf, member #2. I’m right there and what does she do but RUNS into the school…away from me so she doesn’t have to walk with me.
Remember I had apologized to her, a sincere one at that because I’m the 'big’ person (I was even wearing flats) and it seemed I had hurt her feelings by just being me…if I say it I mean it…she refused to accept it then talked shit about me publicly on her FB page.
Whateve…game on right?! Don’t fuck with me.
I get into the office at the school and she’s standing there…
Me…”Hey, D___” with the biggest smile on my face. I’m not gonna ignore someone.
She looked at me like I had murdered her family.

It doesn’t bother me, not one bit. I would rather be nice to someone that doesn’t like me than anything else...

There is another woman at the school whom I have complimented in the past.

Note...I don’t think Women get complimented enough so if I see that someone has put effort into themselves I make it my goal to let them know that someone has noticed…I've stopped strangers in Target for God’s sake.

…Anywho…this woman which I have had interaction with (a few times) ignores me with glee and she looks right at me and then diverts her eyes with such quickness she must get headaches from it.
…and she’s not the only one.
Was it something I said?
Was it something I did?

This is Elementary School not High School!…and I don’t even attend it(?)!

This is something that gives Women a bad name and bothers the shit out of me.
Bitchy Women with nothing better to do than hold a grudge about something they created in their unstable retarded mentally slow minds.
(This is me talking shit…it’s deserved though.)

I’m not the cause of you unhappy marriage.
I’m not the cause of your Child having problems in school.
I’m not the cause of your money problems.
I’m not the cause of your unhappy life.
I’m not the cause of whatever problem you decided you couldn’t take responsibility for so you needed a  scapegoat….bhahahaabahahhaa (my goat sound).

Oh, and if you have started rumors or start rumors about me…I’m totally used it.
If you’re not talkin’ about me you’re not thinkin’ about me.

Occupy Wall-Street Protests

Here are a few things that the ‘Occupy Wall Street’ Protests are about…dumbed down cause that’s the only way I can understand it.

...Wall street runs our country.
...The Politicians are being supported by Wall Street.
...The gap between the richest 1% and the rest of us is getting bigger.
...Jobs are few and far between for some.

We are a Capitalist Society.
We are not Communist or even a Socialist one…
If however we are not careful we could become a Socialist Society.

Is it the job of our Government to parcel out even amounts of money to the masses?
Is it the Job of our Government to get you a job?
That’s a Communist Government, where everyone is SUPPOSED to make the same amount of money no matter what they do, Doctors or House Keepers alike. (This is the actually concept…dumbed down)
It doesn’t work though cause there will always be someone in charge that decides the rules don’t apply to them.

Our Government is a fucking mess, I agree.
Wall Street though and those that run it also should have a say in our Political say…they are people just like you and me.
Corporations also need to have a say…they are run by people just like you and me.

You do realize that the People running these Corporation’s and such did not inherit their positions or money right?
They worked for them.
You can argue that they are giving themselves huge bonuses…Hey, guess what?! I would love a huge bonus!…and I’m such a narcissist I would give myself one!

I’m not saying everything on Wall Street and in Corporations is on the Up and up…

…but…

All those people looking for jobs that are frustrated with Politicians and 'big money’ need to understand that there have to be incentives to create jobs or open a new plant or open a new division…

…and you are after the Politicians to create new jobs…

…this takes money...

Am I the only one that understands this?

They are calling themselves the 99%.
They are actually THE 1%…and are so clueless it bothers the shit out of me. (I’ll get to that at the end.)

The Have's and have Nots... The Not’s want what the Have’s have.

The Hoard…is what I call the 99%.
Hoards historically destroy civilizations. They see a town or a city that has everything they don’t and attack it thinking they can take what they want and have instead of have not. Then they realize after a time that those Peoples made their city or town by hard work…the Hoard was not willing to create only to destroy.

Moveon.org has posted a video that has me a little upset.

http://front.moveon.org/the-most-powerful-occupywallstreet-clip-you-will-see-this-month/#.TpemordgE70.facebook

The video is distorted. It flashes from protests in NY to protest in countries that you are NOT ALLOWED to protest. We do not have tanks barreling into crowds.
When protesters are arrested in these other countries, run by totalitarian regimes, and they go to jail…it’s a different jail than ours.
We have had several unrests at some of these protests but the news often shows just one side…the protesters getting either shot by rubber bullets or sprayed with pepper spray.
They are supposed to be peaceful protests but we do have laws. You are not allowed to assault Police Officers. I think many of these protesters in this Hoard are peaceful…there however are always Bad Apples who will do things to garner attention for their cause to destroy...
…and someone’s always gonna get caught in the middle and that is sad.

Now back to the Hoard that calls themselves the 99%.
NEWSFLASH!!!
They ARE amongst THE RICHEST 1% of the 7 Billion People on this Planet!
They need to get their facts straight.

Now all that being said I think there must be a huge change in the way our Government is run.
Corruption is bountiful everywhere we turn, from corporate greed to crooked politicians.
…but is destroying Capitalism going to get what you want…that which the other guy has?

A Pep Talk For Me, Myself And I

In this past year so much has changed in my life...

Thursday Kat was over…ok, She is over all the time…but on Thursday she reminded me of some of my accomplishments. I forget sometimes that I have done things that others would have shied away from or been to scared to do.

Note…Kat has been through more in her 29 years than most people go through in a lifetime.

That same Thursday night my Man ‘Friend’(?) came over. He asked me…
…”Do you REALLY think you are just like everyone else?"
Me…”Yes.”
…”I don’t know anyone else who wants to ‘Dominate The World.”
...”Yeah, you put your pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else but You, Kristin, are nothing like anyone else.”

Did you know even someone like me who has more self worth, bigger dreams…and more talents and skills than even the above average person (Yes, I’m totally full of myself, but I need to believe it's true.)…has to stand on my bathroom counter and give Me, Myself and I Pep talks.

I actually don’t stand on my bathroom counter…I would hit my head on my ceiling.

I have had to give myself many Pep talks lately.

I have more shit going on in my life than you could imagine.

I don’t share ALL my fashizzle on here…I couldn’t possibly! 

I would either get someone killed or get arrested;0. People would get hurt.

Can I really do this?

Can I make my dreams come true?

Can I help people with their out look on life?

Can I change the World in 'my special way'?

…Cause that’s what I’m going to do.

I can sing, dance, make something out of nothing…cook anything almost better than anyone else…I have more fashion/design sense than most people…

...with a few words I can change a Strangers life.

…I can also get de-friended better than most;)
(That’s just a few of things I can do.)

Did you know I hadn’t written a word before November 11th when I started this TrainWreck of a Blog with ADHD?
I didn’t even know I could write. Although this has been debated in private I’m sure, whether or not I can write.
…I don’t like naysayers…even when it’s Me…So I just ignore it/them.

………………….

My challenges are many, but now is when I must gather all my courage, confidence and know how as I continue on my journey to serve a greater good(?). I recognize things won’t always go as planned and I will be tested in my course. I appreciate every gift I have been given.
The smallest thing is worth the biggest effort.
A smile for a Stranger is a blessing.
Everyone has a destiny be it big or small.

Whether it be the Stars or the Sun…

When the Sun is so blinding in the heat of the day the Stars still shine above you…You just have to have faith they will greet you again.
When the night sky feels so empty because the Sun is not there to guide your way…You just have to have faith that it will greet you again.

My Right Wrist

It’s very hard to type these days. It shouldn’t be but it is and I find myself taking many breaks.

I had to go to my Doctor yesterday about my right hand which I had also hurt in my fall on my Birthday. I feel bad that I had to hide this from my friends...that my right hand was injured as well. I needed one semi decent working hand because so much damage had been done to my left arm.
I’m a single Mom…That’s all I should really have to say.
It was getting progressively worse and more painful though.
The X Rays showed that it looks like part of my scaphoid has broken off…it was hard to see though so I have to have an MRI. This is not bad news and we can most likely just leave it. It's rubbing against my tendon though…we think. My Doctor has a plan. Surgery being a last option I’m excited to share with you and I was excited to hear.
I have to wear a braces on both my wrists now…and they don’t match. Aggghhhhhh!

I’m still recovering from my surgery on my left arm.
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-broke-my-arm.html
…My Doc thinks I have tendentious in my left hand and I’m also having nerve ‘issues’ in my thumb. My recovery is going well as I work hard in between my visits to my Terrorist whom the other day brought tears to my eyes. I heat my wrist up and bend it back and forth. I turn my hand as far as I can to face it up with a hammer in my hand. It’s all quite fun(?).

When I wake up my arms/hands hurt the worst. It almost feels like they are burning. As I get up though and start my routine they inevitably calm down. There are a few tasks I find difficult, un-hooking my bra being comically one of the most painful…Opening things are also problematic...jars, doors (with my left hand)...what have you…I find myself very adaptable though and I hate bitching.

I have a lot of pride and ask for help only when I need it. Kat, one of my Besties, lives across the street. Having one of your best Friends living across the street is fabulous when I need a cocktail and can’t open the jar of blue cheese olives;)

F1 is upset at me because I hardly told anyone. Two of her Children had surgery themselves last week…the last thing I want to do is burden my Friends…when there really is nothing anyone can do to help. I am truly blessed to have Friends that get upset with me when I don’t share with them. 

I can cook. I can clean. I can drive. I can yell like a banshie at my Children when I need to.

If I really shared how frustrating this was I would go on forever…

...but I need a break now...

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/10/scarssprains-and-broken-bones.html

Nerve Blocks

I’m writing this for the random Joe blow that googles nerve blocks and wants the low down on them.

I’ve had two now.
My right leg and my left arm…

I’m no expert and will not go into the finer nuances…
…I will tell you what to expect though…
When you get a nerve block you can’t feel ANYTHING for 7-24 hours after.
This is both good and disconcerting.

When I had knee surgery I opted for the nerve block…in my right leg.
After my surgery I had to get in and out of my MiniVan. I also had to get up the stairs…to the room I had designated as the most comfortable being that I had given mine to my parents in payment that they come visit help me out.
You have no control at all over your appendage…none.
To get up the stairs I sat on my ass, the half that I could feel and the other half I couldn’t but I presume was there…and used my arms to get up them, my leg just dragging. I did the same to get in the bed but had to use my hands to lift my leg up on the bed.
Later when I needed to pee I grabbed my crutches and as much as I tried that right foot dragged behind me…just a bit.
...as I was saying peeing…I ended up peeing on myself…I could only feel half of my private parts. I sat there laughing the half of my ass that I could feel off…Then cleaned myself up.

When I had my arm/wrist surgery…
I was alone this time, they told me I was supposed to have someone with me for 24 hours after my surgery...I didn’t have anyone though.

I figured I could handle things on my own.

What scared me the most was my fear that I would get my fingers caught on something, break one and not even know it…

I was thankful when later that evening they started to tingle, like when your foot falls asleep and is starting to wake up (and then you know it’s gonna keep ya up all night ‘cause it just had a nap, sorry that was stupid but I had to say it).

With a nerve block… you can feel nothing. Which is lovely when your body has been intruded by your Surgeon, or as in my case very adorable, very talented and insanely smart Surgeons that have added dead people parts (my leg) or bionics (my arm).

Good luck! It’s freaky but cool too.

Scars/Sprains and Broken Bones

No national secrets here…Just move along spy’s.

You may think that my ‘injuries’ of late are new to Me, Myself and I…
….sadly, they are not.

When I was a young Un-Holy being in training Child my nickname….one of many I have earned over the years…
…was…
ScarFace
Most of you that have scene seen me in person has noticed the medium sized scar on my right cheek.
I have a few on my chin, several on my forefivehead which as I have gotten older are less noticeable since the wrinkles have started to set in…if I ever Nicole Kidman my forefivehead (botox the shit out of myself) you would see them clearly.
I have one on my right eyebrow you can hardly see and one on my lip.

I have had so many stitches I can’t even count them!
I had over 30 INSIDE my mouth once.
I have 3 scars on my abdomen.
5 on my right leg. 4 from my last surgery and one from a pair of scissors that got stuck in my leg.
My shins are a disaster!

I have sprained ankles and wrists…
I’ve cracked 4 ribs…at different times.
I’ve had dead people parts put in my knee.
…I was in a body cast once and had to learn to walk for a second time.
The body cast joke is always funny…
…The doctors said I would never walk the same again, they meant I would have a limp, I don’t have a limp. What I do have is what people call ‘the sexy walk’…and that’s just me walkin’ regular.
A friend of mines husband was walking behind me and asked his wife…
…”Is that’s Kristin’s sexy walk?”
P…”No, you should see her sexy walk.”

Now I have yet one more scar on my left wrist.
…and now I have a titanium plate with 8 screws added to my skeleton.

I know I did not tell you how I got all these scars, broken and sprained bones…that’s for another day.

My 40th Birthday

My big 4.0.
All the F’s had big plans for F19, who was also celebrating this milestone, and I.
They were trying to surprise us…The secret got out but F19 and I did our best to pretend we didn’t know what was going on.
We were gonna head to the spa secret location and then go dancing down town…

But first…
Friday morning I was greeted with my monthly friend as expected(ish)…I was bloated and looked like I was about 4 months pregnant.

Note…I’m skiping some events to get to the bloody funny bits.

Later in the afternoon Kat is over as I’m trying to paint my toes and finger nails…
Kat…”I bought that new crackle stuff. Wanna try it?”
Me…”Sure!”
My toes were already painted pink and my fingernails a nice nude colour. I try the crackle, in purple, and it looks like shit! My toe nails looked like a three year old had painted them, although a three year old would have probably done a better job! So, with my right hand I remove it with polish remover…and in doing so remove the nude polish from my right hand. Mean while my left hand looks great and the rest of me well…
Then I get a call from my old singing partner and partner in crime…
…”Can you drop my phone off for me?”
He had forgotten his phone in my MiniVan the night before.
So I head to The Broadmoor where he was playing Golf…I got home maybe an hour later…no time left to fix my toes or nails…
…I decided I didn’t care if I only had one hand with painted nails…and that I would have to pick closed toe shoes or boots...

I now have to find something to wear…and this bloating is causing a serious issue...

Note…Yes, I’m skinny but when a skinny girl is having a fat day…it’s very noticeable!

I started trying almost everything in my closet on hoping to find something that would hide this small mound that is intruding on my hotness protruding from my normally tiny belly.

Then Kat comes over…again….

She is lounging on my bed as I dress and undress (I was wearing panties…my period panties. I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable;). I was looking for something to camouflage my phat fat self…’cause I didn’t want to have to carry along a smoke machine and mirrors can be heavy!
Me…”If everyone could just look at me straight on it would be fine…”
Kat…”So, when are you due?”
Me…”Ha! Thank God for decent bone structure maybe that will beguile anyone from noticing I’m 4 months along.”
Finally I find a gem that makes things not so noticable…plus I thought…
…short shorts (my legs are lookin’ good), fishnets(ish) and 5inch patented leather knee high boots…all that would be distracting as well.

I pack my bag for our trip to the spa secret location with everything I can imagine I will need. F1 is picking us up at 5:25.

We get to the spa we all begin our relaxing evening with food, drink, pedicures, massages, facials, half nakedness and more!


Yada, yada, yada...


After our trip to the spa we head downtown to our Club, another night at the Roxberry...

I slip while dancing and fall…
…my left arm starts swelling in a preternatural way…

The F’s…”I think we need to go to the ER.”
Me…”I’m fine.”

Note…I never think something is wrong with me. I’m the opposite of a hypochondriac.

To the ER we go though…
F1, F2, F9, SF, Kat and F15…
I didn’t have to wait to long to be seen.
F1 came back with me and the others napped and talked smack about me I’m sure chatted.

When they took my blood pressure they couldn’t find a pulse. F1 found out I really was Un-Holy.
While F1 and I waited for a room to open up, my one handed self, in great pain, needed to change my tampon…
This is how you know you have good friends because I would bet $ that any of my other friends that were in the waiting area would have done the same…
The most fabulous Friend that is named F1 unbuttoned my shorts for me then un-wrapped my tampon and…
…handed it to me.
I told her I could do it;)
Then when I was done she helped me re-dress myself.

Meanwhile the other F’s were getting hungry and decided to go on a ‘road trip’ to find provisions…
SF had taken in many alcoholic beverages and was inebriated.
F15, doesn’t drink and was driving ‘us’.
They hop in the F1’s MiniVan, F15 behind the wheel…
SF…”I want something cheesy…”
Kat headed them in the direction of Taco City…
F1 and I get a text…
…”you guys want anything?”
We of course did.

Yada, yada, yada…

Me to the male nurse…
…”Is the Doctor single?”
N…”yes.”
Me…”Is he cute?”
N…”He wears a towel on his head.”

Note…I laughed, I couldn’t help it. In all honesty I could careless if someone wore a ‘towel’ on their head or not…not for dating purposes…for life purposes…I grew up with girls having nose piercings and men that wore ’towels’ on their heads. I actually, although I couldn’t help but laugh, felt it a bit disrespectful….I had not however lost my sense of humor.

Blah, blah, blah…

The Doctor comes in and gives me his diagnosis and tells me not only had I broken my arm at my wrist but that I would probably need surgery…

Around 4am we were released and I was taken home. F1 and F2 came in with me and helped me undress and get my pajamas on…I also seem to remember one of them feeling me up;)

It was a memorably 40th birthday I must say.

Member #2, The Hater Nation!

Perfect is boring.
I’m not boring.
I live my life in a way that seems to bother some people.
They actually find personal offense at the way I live and think I do things JUST to bother them.

I don’t.
They are not even on my radar.
Until they put themselves front and center…bad idea!

We ladies have Game night once a monthish. We have been known to not even play a game and have just sat around with our frosty beverages and chatted the evening away.

A while back, it was either the night of the Oscars or the Emmys (ironically), game night was scheduled.
It was at the Dwarfs one of the women that was never one of my F’s house’s.
The F’s and I had decided to have a pre-party at my place and watch the clothes walk down the Red Carpet and drink our beverages as we rated them, before game night started.

Note…The Dwarf This person that is not one of my F’s has actually said to all of us that she is so short she is technically a little person. I’m not making fun of her, I’m stating a fact(ish).
I’m gonna call her D for short…as I laugh…D…for short!!!!!

There we were at my house pre-gaming it…F69 had brought over the homemade vodka that tasted like Tang. We swore it was Tang.
We all get hammered and are our loud obnoxious selves…”cause that’s the way we roll."

F16 is particularly hammered and we love her for it…We are ALL loud though.

I have no idea when we got de-friended by D, well, F1, F2 and I did…I think F2 discovered it, I’m not sure. I never know who de-friends me it happens so often.
Yada, yada, yada…

Note…I had tried in the past to sit and talk to D…I never found a connection. I had always said the things I don’t like about her are the things I don’t like about myself…but hers are accentuated to the point that F1 would turn her back to her just to not get assaulted by her voice and stupid stories that weren’t interesting…AT ALL.
She practically would yell to get heard.
She would interrupt conversations with the dumbest things.
She would use F3 all the time to ‘babysit’ when her useless husband was home.
She is a ‘one uper’…with nothing to one up.

I never hated her. She was just not my friend…and I never pretended to be her friend.
I also never intentionally caused her harm.

The other day, at the hospital where she volunteers, after my surgery…I saw her and called her into my room.
I wanted to apologize for hurting her feelings…not for my behavior…"because that’s the way we roll”
She walked out and I imagine her eyes rolled back as she said to herself…
…”whatever..”

The next day one of my F’s shows me D’s FB post…
I am copying and pasting…

• • D's post - So glad to have a lazy day. The one person I can't stand showed up at the hospital yesterday during my shift. And then tried talking to me. I really can't stand selfish people and she deserves an emmy in that category.
    
    My Reply - I'm pretty sure I know who you are talking about... of all the things you could say about her "selfish" isn't one of them and as far as I know she apologized!?!?!?
    
    Her next Reply - Ok then, self centered. And apologies don't mean anything when they're not sincere.
    
    S's reply - She does deserve an emmy but she would probably want the oscar. Maybe we should hold a meeting to discuss what she desreves.

I am the one person she can’t stand;)
The ‘My Reply’ is F7…
S is Ex F9
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/05/member-1-hater-nation.html

You can judge for yourself if I was a real friend to F9.

…As for D…I find it funny that we were watching the Oscars or the Emmys that night…
…And yes, one day I might win one;).

I am often the center of attention, I won’t deny that. (Often by accident.)
Self-centered and selfish though…that can be disputed.
I never say anything unless I mean it.
I am NOT a fake friend who uses people.


Oh…and I wonder what they think I…
…”deserve.”?…or…”desreves”?

Per the Urban Dictionary…
Hater…

A label applied to people who are more negative than positive when discussing another person. It most commonly refers to individuals whose negativity is so extreme that it is all-consuming. However, there are various levels and forms of being a hater, ranging from completely dismissing any positive traits or actions, to merely painting a less than flattering picture by using words with negative connotations. Hating is often attributed to jealousy, but just as often, it seems to stem from some other source.

I Broke My Arm

I’ve been trying to write about Friday night but I decided to stop and write this first.

So…I broke my right arm. To be specific I fractured my radius in a few places…right at the wrist, also part of my ulna broke off.
Simply put, I slipped and fell.

The challenges I have found are numerous for someone like me. Someone who is active and most of the things I do, to include my hobbies, require the use of both hands.

Saturday morning my Children were dropped off (I hadn’t gotten dressed yet and was still in my pajamas)…I took a shower after they arrived but first I had to place a plastic bag over my busted arm and then had to figure out how to cover and seal my jacked up self with my Glad, Press and Seal…with one arm. Not the easiest task, it took me about 15 minutes.
Whilst in the shower I grabbed the shampoo and squooze (that’s not a word, but should be one) some shampoo on my head…probably about 1/2 cup ‘cause I couldn’t see a damn thing. Then I laughed as I spent the next few minutes getting all the suds out of the little hair I have...on my head;)

Note…My Daughter, BrownNut was visibly upset and said…
…”You just aren’t like other Mom’s.”
Me…”No honey, I’m not. Do you want me to be?”
BN…”No, because then you wouldn’t be you and you are a pretty awesome Mom because you’re not like the others."

My daughter helped me with my bra. All the pants I bought when I had my knee surgery have come in handy…I bought them because I was able to wear my leg brace under them. I find them now so wonderful for there ease and the waste band that doesn’t look so bad.

Later that evening the Children and I headed to F69’s house for dinner. We were supposed to attend a party for one of the F’s but I really didn’t want to be around to many people…SF69 made sure all the Children were fed as the rest of us sat and chatted.

Note…I met a really nice couple that night and wish they lived here.

Sunday AM my Children were picked up by their Father and I finally had time to contemplate my situation.

I got in the shower and repeated my routine with the Press and Seal and such.
I thought to myself…
…”I think I’m gonna have to let my underarm hair grow. It’s not like anyone that matters will notice ‘cause I haven’t, still, seen my in-homedater since summer started and it’s not like there is anyone else in my life that I need to look good for and keep their attention so they don’t stray…” Those were my exact thoughts.

After my shower I stood in my bedroom naked and put lotion on as many places I could reach with my right hand. My left arm was going to have to forgo any attention. (F15 had let me know she would lather my whole body up if I asked;)….I heart her.)
Then it came time to put my bra on. After about a half hour of frustration I was crying and laughing because I was so determined to do it all on my own. I could have asked Kat to come over but I was to stubborn. I finally got that damn bra hooked…and no, there was no way I was going to be able to forgo my bra.
I then wished I had a boyfriend that loved me and would come over and help me, without asking. Then that thought left my brain as it was stupid; I have only one T.V. and I refuse to give up the remote control.

Note…These were/are my actual thoughts. This blog is where I am honest about/with Me, Myself and I.

Last night I was trying to make dinner, pasta and a red sauce. Kat, all the Children and I needed to be fed.

Note…Monday night was Pizza night ‘cause our schedules are filled with music classes on Mondays…so I didn’t have to cook.

…I needed to add a can of diced tomatoes to my sauce…I don’t have an electric can opener…Kat opened it for me. I had the base of my sauce in the freezer, easy peasy lemon squeezy. I filled a stock pot with water then tried to pick it up with one hand….that was a ‘no go’. I grabbed one end of it and pressed the other side of the pot on the side of my belly to get the stove.
When it came time to drain the pasta…I had to ask Kat to do it.

Laundry…I can’t right socks that are inside out. Laundry sucked before now I find it even more of a chore.

I just went over a FEW of the things that are difficult for me to accomplish…

Now on to the judging…and yes, as always someone judges me.

When the Children were dropped off on Saturday morning my Ex looked at me like I had two heads. We get along, but honestly, I am not his favorite person in the world. Sometimes I think he hates me not because of the divorce but because of who I am and what I represent…a free woman that refuses to hold her tongue.

When I broke my arm it was an accident. I had decided to stopped doing JuJitsu because class was so aggressive and I was sure to injure myself again. That does not mean I won’t take refresher courses. I had found that for my Children I needed to not put myself in precarious positions…
…Then what do I go and do but break my arm…and not just a little break but one that requires me to have one or maybe two titanium plates added to my skeleton.

After the destruction of my knee ligaments and the things I was unable to accomplish during my rehabilatation…which I’m still working on…I felt horrible for my fabulous Children. I had to ask for their help in all sorts of areas…
I was talking to my Mom yesterday and she told me that I needed to ask my Children to help me out even more…
…I have a hard time doing that.
I need my Children to see me as a strong, independent woman capable of feats that others would shy away from.
…And my Friends who have offered help…
…Wow…
…From Kat offering to clean my bathrooms…that is a serious sacrifice…That girl HATES cleaning;). My bathrooms are clean though so no worries there. She did clean a few of my dishes, pots to be exact, that I was unable to do with one arm.
…F16, who’s Spouse is deployed and she’s taking care of her 3 Children by herself…
…F9…anything last minute I know she will drop everything...
…All my F’s have offered up their respective services!
…F1 I think is planning a party around my surgery;)
…F15 is driving me and her husband, My Brother From Another Mother, is picking me up…

As much as I love their help, I will only take what I absolutely need.
I need them to see me the same way as my Children need to see me…Strong, independent and capable of feats that others shy away from…
…Because that is what makes Me, Myself and I, Kristin, The Un-Holy Trinity.

I didn’t ask for this and some might be wondering if it’s some karma kicking me in my ass.
No, all my bad karma has already played through…
I believe this yet another test by the Gods so I can prove myself to Me (ME, not You) that I can take on what ever is thrown at me with grace, humor and with an attitude that…I will not accept defeat.

It’s just a little broken arm after all;) If I can’t handle this I’m screwed!

FaceBooks New Crappy News Feed

I woke up this morning at 5:30am and turned on my MacBook…1st things first…FaceBook.

You can now FaceBook while you FaceBook…the top right hand corner is your immediate news feed…The big shit in the middle is the crap that some Asshole that should be fired has determined presumed via 1’s and 0’s (programing) what is YOUR ‘Top Stories’.

By the looks of things people like this shit just as much as they liked the ‘new coke’…They don’t make 'new coke’ anymore.

Note…I usually roll with FB changes just fine but not this one. Yes, I realize that FB is free but they ARE making money as we waste our day hanging out with each other…
I loath this change.

Some of you may not have noticed the security issues with the new top right, lets call it “The Rolling News Feed”…
Scroll your cursor over something that a friend of yours has commented on…it has to be someone that is not a friend of yours as well, a stranger…or as in my case someone that de-friended me.
Depending on their Account Settings you might be able to comment on some strangers post or picture or what have you…
Everyone
Friends of Friends
Just Friends
…and my favorite…
Custom

Nobody can even see what I comment on…all that shit is automatically deleted as I don’t think you need to know that I commented…
…”You are a dumb ass!”
…"Mmmmmmm…tasty”...and it’s a picture of a half naked Man, or maybe something you just threw on the grill.
…"You’ve been posting that you haven’t feel well lately, a lot really, ya know for the past year…I think you should go to the Doctor now.”
…"Bheeaaatttchhhh is in de hoouuuuusssssssssssssee.”
…”Congratulations"

So please spread the word and fix your mother fuckin’ Account setting as I am being tempted to comment on STRANGERS posts...

…"just took a dump”…Me...”Was it runny and messy or hard…and if it was hard did it hurt when it came out or did you like the way it felt?"
…”Had a crappy day at work” …Myself…"be happy you have a fucking job.”
…”It’s ladies night and we are gonna party like rock stars!…I…”no you are not because I will not be there and nobody knows how to party like a CSRM!”

This is what I would post on someone’s pic that had de-friended me…a family pic…
…Me…”Wow, you’ve been really liking the borrito’s lately…packin’ on the L.B.s…not lookin’ so good lately…you should put the Borrito’s Doooowwwwwnnn and get a slimfast.”
…Me…”Hmmm, so you are puttin’ It in That now hmmmm…better than with a blowup doll I’m sure…"

How do you fix this problem you ask me?
…ok it’s ME with the problem but I don’t want to see all this shit and be tempted to piss even more people off than I already do…

The arrow at the very top right…
click it
go to Account settings
make sure its just ‘Friends' and not ‘Friends of Friends’…

Now with that done go to your own page…
See where it is says you commented on some boring ass very important post of one of the many people that have de-friended me…or a stranger…whatev…
Scroll your cursor to the right till you see delete post…
It will NOT delete the comment you made on someone’s boring ass very important post but just delete it from your page…it will also give you the option of having them automatically deleted I did it so long ago I don’t remember the exact wording…sorry…

Oh one more thing…
I didn’t repost that status up date…
...”99% of you will not repost this but I know who will no you don’t . If you are against cancer NOBODY IS FOR CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! knows somebody who has fought and won…Blah blah blah”
I got one for you to copy and paste…and I dare you…no double dog dare you to repost…

99% of you will not share this post. I know who will though (You really have no clue you just, copied and pasted this from some psycho chick, The Un-Holy Trinity, with a multiple personality disorder. I only know this because Me, Myself and I typed all this out…all three of us!) Please copy and paste and get the word out that The Un-Holy Trinity is going to start commenting on random strangers and people that have de friended her Posts if they don’t fix their Account settings! Let’s keep this going!

Real Housewives Of NYC…I’m Sad To Hear Some Aren’t Returning

The news is out and the tears are flowing from under my glasses.
I can’t decide if it’s ‘cause I’m laughing so hard or I’ll miss some fabulously fucked up people.

NOT RETURNING are...

Jill  Zarin…
…A prima donna who can’t keep her mouth shut and thinks herself a designer...

Alex MacCord…
…Married to Simon Van Kempen (He’s really Gay, have you seen his clothes!). Alex thinks her MoFo’s are better than white sliced bread...they aren’t and...Alex, you wrote that book on parenting, well you need to read your own book (preview here for my Countessssss rage) just like the Countesssssss needs to read her own book. Oh, one more thing…you should hire a stylist…and stop letting your Gay Husband pick your clothes…NEWSFLASH…He’s not creative and all Gay men don’t have chi-chi (a sense of style) and the shit he makes you wear and the shit he wears himself hurts my eyes…and it’s hard to watch this trainwreck when I have to shield them!!!

This is the crackhead Kelly

Kelly Bensimon…
…The one I’ll miss the most I must admit. I don’t know if she’s high all the time or if maybe she SHOULD be! She’s an idiot and gives models a bad name…they are not all this stupid and dramatic.

and...

Cindy Barshop…
…She’s boring. She needed to get the ax.

So...Jill, Alex, Kelly and Cindy will not be returning have gotten sacked for the next season of The Real totally not real but still entertaining Housewives I’m calling a fowl here as 4 out of 7 of the trainwrecks are not even married Of New York City.

WILL BE RETURNING are...

Sonja Morgan…
…For some reason she thinks she’s a sex kitten but she’s to old to be a kitten and I won’t call her a Cougar ‘cause that is one of MY titles, my Panera Bread card says so.

This is the sexual intellectual LuAnn 

Ramona Singer…
…Crazy eyed bitch who wakes up with a glass of Pinot Grigio and you best have some available for her or she will get all crazy bitchy on your ass…Right Cindy The Boring Barshop?!

LuAnn "The Countessssss" de Lesseps…
…The Sexual Intellectual (another one of my monikers but this fits better than spanks on under another pair of spanks) aka FUCKING KNOW IT ALL!
I’m gonna go off now on the fake Countessssss, get ready…
…Who the fuck does she think she is?! She wrote a book on manners but never read it. Guess what you prissy bitch…I went to a finishing school and one of the things I took away was that when you use good manners it’s supposed to make people more comfortable around you…not uncomfortable. So stop with all your “manners” bullshit, read the book you wrote and stop lecturing people about how they are not allowed to ask someone if their boobs are fake…’cause Ramona should have just reached out and grabbed one of Kelly’s boobs and found out herself!
…also your poor Frenchified boyfriend Jacques is clueless because you lose your title Countessssss if you re-marry…we all know you wouldn’t give up that nom de plume as you think it makes you better than everyone else. It doesn’t. It probably makes you even more of a fucking bitch than you were without it.

So…Sonja, Ramona and that stupid bitch the Countessssss…will be returning.
…and I WILL be watching.