Nerve Blocks

I’m writing this for the random Joe blow that googles nerve blocks and wants the low down on them.

I’ve had two now.
My right leg and my left arm…

I’m no expert and will not go into the finer nuances…
…I will tell you what to expect though…
When you get a nerve block you can’t feel ANYTHING for 7-24 hours after.
This is both good and disconcerting.

When I had knee surgery I opted for the nerve block…in my right leg.
After my surgery I had to get in and out of my MiniVan. I also had to get up the stairs…to the room I had designated as the most comfortable being that I had given mine to my parents in payment that they come visit help me out.
You have no control at all over your appendage…none.
To get up the stairs I sat on my ass, the half that I could feel and the other half I couldn’t but I presume was there…and used my arms to get up them, my leg just dragging. I did the same to get in the bed but had to use my hands to lift my leg up on the bed.
Later when I needed to pee I grabbed my crutches and as much as I tried that right foot dragged behind me…just a bit.
...as I was saying peeing…I ended up peeing on myself…I could only feel half of my private parts. I sat there laughing the half of my ass that I could feel off…Then cleaned myself up.

When I had my arm/wrist surgery…
I was alone this time, they told me I was supposed to have someone with me for 24 hours after my surgery...I didn’t have anyone though.

I figured I could handle things on my own.

What scared me the most was my fear that I would get my fingers caught on something, break one and not even know it…

I was thankful when later that evening they started to tingle, like when your foot falls asleep and is starting to wake up (and then you know it’s gonna keep ya up all night ‘cause it just had a nap, sorry that was stupid but I had to say it).

With a nerve block… you can feel nothing. Which is lovely when your body has been intruded by your Surgeon, or as in my case very adorable, very talented and insanely smart Surgeons that have added dead people parts (my leg) or bionics (my arm).

Good luck! It’s freaky but cool too.

Patellar Tendentious and the Constandindes: Perspective

In December ’10, I had torn my ACL, Meniscus and MCL…

I saw my Doc last month…as I complained, bitched and moaned explained the trouble I was having due to the pain I have.

Note…He is the one person that knows my frustration as I don’t like to burden those around me…although I do at times with my bitchiness…but I let it all out one day, un-fettered. He knows how I’m really feeling….physically.

Doc…”As always Kristin, you are an anomaly.”
That was a month ago as he explained to me that it’s been 5 years since he has seen a case of Patellar Tendentious after an ACL replacement surgery.

My Surgery was 6 months ago.

My knee was fine a few months ago…that’s when I was told I didn’t have to wear my leg brace in public places anymore.
So I put it in the back in one of my many closets hidden amongst my collection of many fabulous purses , boots and shoes.

My Doc, Derek, put me on an anti-inflammatory, Indomethacin.
I took my pill once a day…it’s did nothing at all for me.
I did however have no problems on my Road trip with Kat…could be that I was sitting for days and while at my parents house Camp Walland there were hardly any stairs.
Two days after I got home the pain right under my kneecap hit me like a force as I would trod up and down ALL my stairs? Yes.
...I’m not even mentioning the pain of my IT band and at my incisions, of which I have 5, but only 2 do I feel any discomfort pain.

The other day I took a friend to Manitou Springs and we walked around. My knee was killing me the whole time. I am really good at hiding things. People, issues and pain to be exact…
…well…I am a bit bitchier when I’m in pain. I’m sure my friends can attest to that.

I saw my Doc again today.
I walked in wearing a pair of shoes I bought months ago but had never worn. I’ve only worn heels 3 times…not to include my patent leather, calf high Doc Martens that have a thick 4 inch heel.
I did it because I knew I wouldn’t be on my feet long and I really like looking’ good and after the road trip Kat and I went on I’ve felt the need to look like a girl and dress like one.
It hurts to wear heels though.

Doc…”I thought about you all day yesterday knowing I would see you today.”
He understood my issue and has been concerned for me. He’s a great Doc with a fantastic bedside manner. I can’t tell you how glad I have HIM as My Orthopedic Surgeon. I consider him a friend as well as my Doctor.

We don’t just talk about my own stupid issues…we talk about real things...

...He asked me if I knew the the Constantinides. From what I’ve heard an amazing couple who adopted 3 children, 2 from China and one from Korea. The Mom and three Children were killed in a flash flood while they were camping in Wyoming. He was personal friends with them and Alex, the husband is the only survivor. We talked about the whys…
Derek…”Don’t you wonder why it happens to people like that? Where’s the Karma?”
With all the wisdom I can gather…and having read about them after the incident I have gathered that the Constantindes had a message of love and adoption to share with the world.
Me…”It’s horrible…But now how many people are more aware of what they did and how great they are/were.”
Derek, I think, thinks that because I adopted three children myself I can be put into the same-ish category. I can’t. My children are just that, MY Children and it’s just well, simply put, how I ‘had’ kids. Years ago I sat on “how to” panels for potential adoptive parents…but that was YEARS ago.
I’m torn up about what seems like a senseless loss and have no idea how on earth Alex could possibly being dealing…I just want to give this stranger a hug, but it would be THE most useless gift.

Back to my knee...
Ice my knee twice a day.
I have some new meeds. as well, 2 anti-inflammatories…
Diclofenac, by mouth once a day.
…and a flector patch that sticks to my knee.

Note…This patch I read can also be used for menstrual cramps…I might give it a try in about a week or so…;) Doc, when you read this I want you to know I’m just kiddin’.

Build up my Quads.
Doc…”You are really skinny and it might bother you but I want your quads huge and strong."
Work on my core and hips…
….and he told my Children who sat quietly during my visit that I had to stop going up and down the stairs as much as I could.
This last one is going to be THE hardest of all instructions he’s given me and he is very aware of it.
I live in a 4 story house….to get anywhere I have to go up and down stairs.
He also put me on a new pain killer…
…Those around me can thank Derek for hopefully putting a squash on my bitchiness.

…As I type this out I know my issues are TINY compared to other peoples. I’m thankful that this is my only physical issue.
Putting things into perspective is not always easy but necessary.
I have EVERYTHING…my health…not to mention my family intact!
…And family and friends that love me.

Laurel Constantinides, 39, Hannah, 8, Zoe, 5, and Lucy, 2, drowned July 19 when their van was swept off a washed-out highway as the family evacuated a campground.

Read more:Hundreds mourn Springs mom, daughters swept away in flood - The Denver Posthttp://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_18564110#ixzz1TRbtxObQ
Read The Denver Post's Terms of Use of its content: http://www.denverpost.com/termsofuse

The Progression Of My Knee

December 17th, 2010 I was involved in a JuJitsu accident while belt testing.
I tore my ACL, MCL and Meniscus in my right knee.
As I laid on the mat the first thought I had was…
…”I feel like the most mature woman in the world right now…I have my own health insurance.”
…I also knew that even with insurance I was going to be out several thousands of dollars in fees and I was grateful I had some savings.

I had other thoughts as well…
…Because I knew I would be fine…I was concerned for Shihan John’s and Sensei Eric’s thought’s. Shihan doesn’t know me well…I have trained mostly in the smaller school with Sensei Eric, who does know me well.
There was no way they could know that I thought of it in the sense of…
…’I’m gonna go on an adventure…”

I also saw it as in my screwed up brain…
…A right of passage.

The other students helped me get home and my Instructors and the Students checked in on me often.

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2010/12/eliminate-threat-change-focus.html

I wrote the above blog before testing…

I had my surgery on January 31, 2011.

I’d like to thank that dead person for signing up to be on organ donor…
...for without this person…
…I wouldn’t have an ACL.
Holes were drilled into my bones and my donated ACL was screwed in.

The muscles in my once very nice right leg quickly melted into nothing.

I can’t kick, turn, twist or have heavy jolts at all to my knee still.
I can’t even wear any of my fabulous shoes.
I was just, last month, emancipated from the constraints of what had become one of my best friends…my leg brace. Which I had to wear in public and around Children.
My Doc. told me last month knowing how frustrated I have been that…
…”It’s going to take at least a year.”
His honesty was something I didn’t want to hear but I am accepting.
Slowly but surely they will release me so I will be able to participate in the activities I enjoy.

I see my Physical Therapist Terrorist weekly…he’s my friend and my Redheaded wonder.
He rolls the side of my leg and massages it behind my knee. Sometimes I’m brought to the brink of tears.
He also watches me move as I do the workouts he has instructed me to do.
The people I see on a daily basis know that the healing process has been a little more physically painful than I let on publicly.
Sometimes, I hope my Doc. doesn’t read this!…’Cause he’s also my friend…
…when I’m on my feet for an extended amount of time I limp. I try not to, but it hurts. It hurts even when I’m not active and just sitting here while I type away.
It always aches and sometimes...
It feels like…
...a hundred different needles have been inserted into various places in my leg.
I want my pain meds back in the worst way…but I can take it.
The Marines have a saying…
…”Pain is weakness leaving the body.”
At times I think I might be the strongest woman in the world, able to leap tall buildings and such and what have you…but I’m not allowed to jump.

I have worked hard to gain back my muscles and I almost look normal again…almost. My leg no longer looks like a large onion with two lanky roots...

…Enough about that…

Now for some picture of the progression of one knee that was once described by my Doc. as…
…"Mashed Potatoes."

<—My leg after my accident.



My knee after surgery—>

<—The deep bruising ran and pooled all the way to my feet eventually. I still have some bruises remaining in my shin.

I had to keep my bandages dry. So I wrapped my leg in Press and Seal.






The bandages came off slowly—>




I have 5 new scars that I am proud of now.





<—My leg brace did not hinder my going out with my friends.
…and no one could see that I didn’t have a pretty leg under my brace.

I took a lot of courage, being as vain as I am, to eventually venture out in public without my brace and in shorts.




This is my electrical stimulation…—>
I get to control the amount of stimulation . I made it a bit of a game to see how high I could take it. I took it to 200…then decided 165 was my ‘comfort’ point.

You can see that my leg looks almost normal now.



It has been an adventure for sure...one that I would not change.

JuJitsu Belt Testing is this week and I can’t partake in the ‘festivities of pain’…One day in the next, hopefully couple of months, I’ll make it back to class so I can Train, Learn and Earn my next level belt…with the goal to be an Ass Kickin’ Bitchin' Wiccan.

I’ll also be able to run, dance, jump around like a fool, kick, turn, twist and wear fabulous shoes.

OSU!

Addiction and Oxycodone

I was watching the movie Traffic awhile ago. A marvelous film about the drug war, Mexico and more importantly addiction.

Since my knee surgery I have had to take Oxycodone.
Oxycodone is the generic version of Percocet and is HIGHLY addictive.

I can’t take over the counter pain relievers because it deters the ‘dead people’ part in my knee from adhering to the holes that were drilled into my bones and then inserted and held there with screws.
…and to be totally honest I don’t think they would do a damn thing for me anyway.
I am a very active woman with a lot on my plate and by 12 in the afternoon all I usually want to do ice my knee so it’s numb. It hurts all the time. Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night with shooting pains. I live in a split level four story house and to get anywhere I have to go up and down stairs. I also workout a little harder than the average woman due to my vanity and I want my leg muscles back in the worst way.

"Take 1 to 2 tablets by mouth every 4 hours as needed”

Well shit, if I did that I couldn’t get anything done. I have people to do and things to be. I have things to do and places to be.

Oxycodone makes me all glassy eyed and and I can’t even feel my knee when I take them…but because I can’t take anything else if I have a headache or any other pain…it’s the only thing I can take.
…So, I would cut them up, into halves and quarters…
I wouldn’t take 2 at a time but sometimes I would take 1 1/2. There were a few(3) days I had to take more than 2, but I wouldn’t allow myself anymore than a total of 3 1/2 a day…those were bad days in the life of my knee and pain management.

I spoke to my Girlfriends and Physical Terrorist Therapist about my concerns about becoming addicted to this drug and how I could manage my pain better.
F1…”We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, are you sure you don’t already have a problem.” (I think I paraphrased that…but that is what I heard.)
Me…”That is why I am telling you about it and my fears I have OF it.”

My Terrorist Therapist just told me to slow down and is having me do a few things differently. There IS NO slowing down for me though.

Yesterday I had to call the nurse about a refill or the go ahead to take something other than Oxycodone…I WANT something different because I’m scared to death and don’t want to turn into some pill popping waste.

Me…”I want the fame, I don’t want the addictions that comes with it though.”

I’m now taking a new drug…I’ll see how I do.

A fear I never had before...

I was putting my children to bed tonight and my youngest started crying. He cries a lot but this time he was sad, not angry or frustrated. He is scared for me and for himself.
My surgery is Monday and he is apprehensive, as am I.

A few years ago the loss of ME would have meant nothing to me. I had nothing. I felt like I had nothing to live for. If you would like and haven’t read my Palimpsest blog….maybe you should. I thought that my children would be fine, they have a caring and loving father. I had been there to guide them as much as I thought I could. They would have the memory of me. I hoped a good one.
Eventually I found myself back amongst the living…

Whenever someone is ‘put under’ there is always a chance that something can happen.
My middle child asked me if they were putting me down, like a dog, and I told him I was hoping to wake up and not keep sleeping.
I’m not having heart surgery, a transplant…yada, yada, yada…although the pieces of a dead human will be placed in me.
It’s ONLY my knee.
I have already prepared myself mentally (as much as I can) for what I imagine could be the worst scenarios: stroke, the loss of my leg...but not the loss of me. Then sometimes I think I have with this silly blog, the story that is me. I have so much more now though…dreams I could have never imagined before...

This is me trying to share and actually open up with feelings, something I am also scared to do. I do not want to be emotional unavailable.
I’m afraid I won’t come back. My daughter won’t see me as the woman I want, not a door mat but a strong powerful woman, that she can also become.
My boys won’t see and respect an independent woman capable of love.

The Cupid Shuffle has a whole new meaning to me.

You know that line dance people do to the Cupid Shuffle?

This is how the chorus goes…
“To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right
To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left
Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick
Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself”

I just got back from seeing my Doctor for my second appointment about the lack of knee ligaments I have attached on my right knee.

At my last appointment he had told me he wanted me to be able to bend my knee all the way and completely straighten it out, on my own with no help.
I’m laying on the table and he is checking on my knee movement.
I straighten my leg completely and I am able to bend it all the way.
Doc…”Wow, you really did take it as a personal challenge.”
Me…”Yes, I did. After I saw you last I went home and started practicing straightening it. I was able to do it by the end of the night. It took me a few more days to be able to bend it. It was really swollen.”
Me…”I think it helps that I am already in good shape and pain doesn’t bother me.”
Doc…”Yes, but I have a lot of patients that are also in great shape and they don’t come back with this much motion.”
I go on to tell him I got the ‘bend’ back by practicing my squats.

He continues with his exam on my right knee.
He holds my ankle in one hand and my calf in the other and starts moving my knee up and down….then as I watched him with apprehension he was able to move my leg in an un humanly manner…to right, to the left, to the right again and back to the left…it was revolting to see.
….but my sense of humor was not in my right knee, there for it is still in tack.
Me…”You know that song, 'The cupid shuffle’?"…and I started to sing…
He laughed…he seems to laugh with me a lot.

He goes over all the damage done to my knee and what we are going to do about, all the while looking at my MRI pictures.

He starts with my ACL tear and shows me where it is…I mean, is supposed to be.
He shows me how bruised my bones are...
 …get this…
…where my femur was twisted and knocked out and HIT my Tibia.
Come on now, that’s cool shit…right?:/
Then he shows me my MCL tear, followed by meniscus.

My Doc. then looked at me and told me my option…no ’s’ on the end of option.

His number one concern is my torn MCL (medial collateral ligament). Normally this kind of injury would heal itself. His concern is that I have SO MUCH side to side motion that it will not heal on it’s own, which complicates my ACL surgery options.
I look at him in the middle of all this and say…
…”You know this fascinates me?”
Doc…”I can tell, I’m glad you are interested, it will make your recovery quicker…just as long as you do exactly as I tell you!"

Most ACL injuries are fixed by removing portions of the hamstring and ‘recycling’ them and attaching them where the ACL used to be. Well, with my MCL injury, that most likely will not heal on it’s own, because it was separated from my tibia…if they use pieces of my hamstring my MCL won’t heal properly. He will probably have to use a donor ligament…FROM A CADAVER!

He went over the different incisions he will have to make in my leg to fix everything. I ask him about the scars I will have. They will be plentiful!
I have tons of scars all ready, just from getting stitches, more than people are aware. I have seven on my face, one very large one, I think it adds character;) I have three on my abdomen, one very ugly scar above my right knee and two on both of my legs…from my lipo. (I like bringing that up!) Those are the ones JUST from stitches.
I then explain to him, yes, I would like to be pretty on the outside, but the inside matters more…
Doc says he will do his best to make the inside of my knee just as wonderful as the outside.
He knows people will see my legs and ask, “Who did that work?” He want’s a positive question mark!
He tells me I have to keep my leg in my brace as much as I can, even when sleeping. This way maybe a miracle will happen and my MCL will fix itself…that would cut about $1000.00 off my surgery costs. I’m a bit frugal, I will keep this mother F’er on ALL the time if I can save that money.

I have noticed a depletion in my muscle structure already in my right leg. It’s a very noticeable depletion. We all know I am a vain woman…I will not let this continue.
I had been depending on my left leg to get me through. Today I started right leg lifts and other exercises. The only thing I CAN NOT do is pivot and turn.
On Monday I will return to kickboxing…sans the kicking…jujitsu, sans the kicking and my other gym where I will rock my abs and upper body with weights. I will also do leg exercises…
…”Faster, Better, Stronger…” The bionic woman…

I go back in 3 weeks to check on my MCL and then 1 week later I have surgery on what ever needs fixing.
I am not excited, but I will figure out how I will deal with it and I will keep my sense of humor.
I’ll probably have to ask my Mom and Dad to fly in so they can help me, and they will if I ask.
They love me.

Oh…I almost forgot…When I came out of the Doctors office there was a girl about 12 years old, in a brace similar to mine. I looked at her and said…
…”All the cool kids are wearing them.” and I winked at her, she giggled.

My 1st Ortho (not -dontics) Appointment

I had my first visit with my now, very own Orthopedic Doctor today.

F4 picks up my children to take to the $1 movie so I can get to my appointment.

I start driving north to get to my appointment. I enter the address into my GPS in route. For some odd reason ‘her’ route is Woodman, which is just a traffic mishmash. I don’t know where I am going though so I listen to what ‘she’ says.
I get there, park, open the door, guide my leg out of my van and prop my right leg on the arm rest of the door so I can put the brace on that F3 has loaned me. Brace in place I hobble to my appointment. I reach the receptionist desk and they inform they have two offices and I am supposed to be at the other one.
R…”Do you still want to be seen?”
Me…”Yeah, kinda.” and I smile and wink at her.
R…”I’ll call them and tell them you are on the way.”
Me…”Thank you, Happy Holidays.”

I hobble out as fast as I can. I despise being late and making people wait on me. I find chronic lateness to be one of the rudest characteristics. I know it’s not my fault that I am late though so I release the hurry.

20 minutes later I get to the correct building and I meet an incredibly handsome older couple.
The Older Lady says to me…
…”Welcome to the party.”
Me…”Ha! It’s a party I didn’t really want an invite to but now that I have one I’m gonna make it the best party I ever went to.”
They both laugh and we all head to the same office as she and I discuss the importance of a very attractive purse on a woman’s arm. (I like her.)

I get to the receptionist area and they give me some forms to fill out. I peruse the forms and say…
…”Do I have to be honest about how much alcohol I intake on a weekly basis?”
Them…”I don’t think it’s as much as us, don’t worry about it.”
Thankfully that question was multiple choice.
I don’t finish all my paperwork and they tell me…
…”It’s ok, you have to tell the Doc everything anyway.”

The nurse comes in and tells me to put on these blue ‘short’s’ that are almost the same colour of the anterior of my knee. I tell her I put underpants on just for this special occasion. She laughed and told me
…”Thanks!”
The whole office is filled with pleasant people with great senses of humor….’cause it sucks when people don’t understand how funny I really am.

I have to get some X-Rays first.
The X-Ray Tech asks me if I am pregnant….You should laugh here…I did, almost to the point of hysterics!
She tells me to stand both feet together all the way up against this ‘thing’. It took about 2 min. for me to accomplish this task.
I then had to lay down on my side with my leg bent. I won’t lie this wasn’t pleasant.
I tell her…
…”I feel like such a hypochondriac. What if I’m just being a big baby and nothing is wrong?”
Tech…”We will find out.” But she said it with a smile like, ‘oh, girl, I have seen this before!’

With the X-Rays done I wait for the Doctor.
He comes in and is very personable. I like his bed side manner already. He has me lay down and takes my knee gently in his hands and starts moving it up and down…
Doc…”Relax.”
Me…”I’m trying.”
We had been joking and laughing up until this point.

Then he touched the inside of my knee so softly…yet in a place so tender that I ‘yelped’. That is the only adjective I can think of to describe the sound I made. Then I cried for the first time because the pain at that moment was unbearable. I say cried, I only let one tear out…refusing the Universe anymore than that. I hadn’t shed one tear, even when it happened I kept it together.
Doc…”I’m sorry.”
Me…”That’s ok. I can take it.”…and I could have as now I would be prepared.
Doc…”It’s like Mashed Potatoes in there. You tore your Medial Collateral Ligament (MCL) and I am pretty sure your Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL). We have to get an MRI to be sure but I can’t even find any thing remotely resembling your ACL. The part that hurt was where your MCL used to be.”
Me…”Ok, what do we do from here.”
Doc…”You start Physical therapy and get an MRI, that way I can be positive of the damage done. You need to be able to straighten out your leg and also bend it completely on your own.”
Me…”I take that as a personal challenge!”
He explains that after the surgery I will have a long recovery for what I would consider a light work out. Probably about 6 months of Physical therapy before I can just jog.

They fit me with a new bionic looking brace with hinges on the sides so I can move better.
I am so happy about this because I had pretty much been doing a one legged stair stepper up and down the four stories of my house with my left leg. I was really concerned my left ass cheek was going to get hard as a rock and my right ass cheek was going to waste away. Wheeeewww!!!! That was a close one!
Ahhh…vanity!:):):)

This is probably one of the most common sports injures. I know a few people that have had it happen to them. It’s not a big deal.

I’ll blog more about my cool appointments, don’t worry;).

Until then Ibuprofen, a couple of times a day as my knee is the size of a large grapefruit. Not for the pain, I can take that and frozen peas several times a day for 20 min.
Peas that I will never eat.