The Cupid Shuffle has a whole new meaning to me.

You know that line dance people do to the Cupid Shuffle?

This is how the chorus goes…
“To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right
To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left
Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick
Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself”

I just got back from seeing my Doctor for my second appointment about the lack of knee ligaments I have attached on my right knee.

At my last appointment he had told me he wanted me to be able to bend my knee all the way and completely straighten it out, on my own with no help.
I’m laying on the table and he is checking on my knee movement.
I straighten my leg completely and I am able to bend it all the way.
Doc…”Wow, you really did take it as a personal challenge.”
Me…”Yes, I did. After I saw you last I went home and started practicing straightening it. I was able to do it by the end of the night. It took me a few more days to be able to bend it. It was really swollen.”
Me…”I think it helps that I am already in good shape and pain doesn’t bother me.”
Doc…”Yes, but I have a lot of patients that are also in great shape and they don’t come back with this much motion.”
I go on to tell him I got the ‘bend’ back by practicing my squats.

He continues with his exam on my right knee.
He holds my ankle in one hand and my calf in the other and starts moving my knee up and down….then as I watched him with apprehension he was able to move my leg in an un humanly manner…to right, to the left, to the right again and back to the left…it was revolting to see.
….but my sense of humor was not in my right knee, there for it is still in tack.
Me…”You know that song, 'The cupid shuffle’?"…and I started to sing…
He laughed…he seems to laugh with me a lot.

He goes over all the damage done to my knee and what we are going to do about, all the while looking at my MRI pictures.

He starts with my ACL tear and shows me where it is…I mean, is supposed to be.
He shows me how bruised my bones are...
 …get this…
…where my femur was twisted and knocked out and HIT my Tibia.
Come on now, that’s cool shit…right?:/
Then he shows me my MCL tear, followed by meniscus.

My Doc. then looked at me and told me my option…no ’s’ on the end of option.

His number one concern is my torn MCL (medial collateral ligament). Normally this kind of injury would heal itself. His concern is that I have SO MUCH side to side motion that it will not heal on it’s own, which complicates my ACL surgery options.
I look at him in the middle of all this and say…
…”You know this fascinates me?”
Doc…”I can tell, I’m glad you are interested, it will make your recovery quicker…just as long as you do exactly as I tell you!"

Most ACL injuries are fixed by removing portions of the hamstring and ‘recycling’ them and attaching them where the ACL used to be. Well, with my MCL injury, that most likely will not heal on it’s own, because it was separated from my tibia…if they use pieces of my hamstring my MCL won’t heal properly. He will probably have to use a donor ligament…FROM A CADAVER!

He went over the different incisions he will have to make in my leg to fix everything. I ask him about the scars I will have. They will be plentiful!
I have tons of scars all ready, just from getting stitches, more than people are aware. I have seven on my face, one very large one, I think it adds character;) I have three on my abdomen, one very ugly scar above my right knee and two on both of my legs…from my lipo. (I like bringing that up!) Those are the ones JUST from stitches.
I then explain to him, yes, I would like to be pretty on the outside, but the inside matters more…
Doc says he will do his best to make the inside of my knee just as wonderful as the outside.
He knows people will see my legs and ask, “Who did that work?” He want’s a positive question mark!
He tells me I have to keep my leg in my brace as much as I can, even when sleeping. This way maybe a miracle will happen and my MCL will fix itself…that would cut about $1000.00 off my surgery costs. I’m a bit frugal, I will keep this mother F’er on ALL the time if I can save that money.

I have noticed a depletion in my muscle structure already in my right leg. It’s a very noticeable depletion. We all know I am a vain woman…I will not let this continue.
I had been depending on my left leg to get me through. Today I started right leg lifts and other exercises. The only thing I CAN NOT do is pivot and turn.
On Monday I will return to kickboxing…sans the kicking…jujitsu, sans the kicking and my other gym where I will rock my abs and upper body with weights. I will also do leg exercises…
…”Faster, Better, Stronger…” The bionic woman…

I go back in 3 weeks to check on my MCL and then 1 week later I have surgery on what ever needs fixing.
I am not excited, but I will figure out how I will deal with it and I will keep my sense of humor.
I’ll probably have to ask my Mom and Dad to fly in so they can help me, and they will if I ask.
They love me.

Oh…I almost forgot…When I came out of the Doctors office there was a girl about 12 years old, in a brace similar to mine. I looked at her and said…
…”All the cool kids are wearing them.” and I winked at her, she giggled.