U.S. vs Skmetti

 

U.S. vs Skmetti will be heard today at the Supreme Court. Tennessee vs the Biden administration. The argument is easy, the United States Federal government is telling Tennesseeians that they are not allowed to have a Good moral community that says "No!" to the horrific practices of 'transing children'.
If you ever got in an argument with me and said, "it's the same as 'gay' back in the day" (SO to Speak), you are a fucking moron, you are scum of this earth.

She peered into the Stone of Alexandria 

and saw the white door

with an electric lock 

that doesn't even need a knock

 

Be still and listen

One day I will tell you a story

The Storm Witch

Do you wonder if the human race is redeemable? 

I'm searching. 

I'm watching in live time the destruction of families and individuality all in the name of collectivism. We all know that collectivism does not work. It's been proven over and over. How many lessons are needed? Human nature will not allow it. You were not made in the image of a group. You were made an individual with free thoughts and free will in our Mother and Fathers image.  

You all thought it was one thing, one idea; One truth. 

The truth is YOU. It's right there by what ever name you give it.

I stand in front of you as the truth and I feel despair for all of you. 

The old men picked at the words of the wise and changed them to fit themselves. 

I am the trinity of Me, Myself and I. The Maiden, The Mother and The Crone. The Truth, The Light and The Dark.

I am the Storm Witch.

I travel through the heavens above and have since the beginning of all time. I see all you do.

You will not control me.

You will not control the Earth as it was made.

The Sea is mine and you will drown in my tears I have shed for you.

When I put war paint on; it will be Your war. 

It will be for the World. 

It will be for everyone to see. 

For I am the Standard. 

They will burn the Standard down and I will rise from the depths of death and bring you home. 

Catharsis

A while back the earth shook beneath my feet and not just once. 

I was fat and happy as they say and then I wasn't. Or maybe I just thought I had been.

(As you read know I'm fine now.)

I became ill. 

I have vertigo and fall to the right. Always to the right; it can be disconcerting.

I forgot how to cook and organize. I forgot how to time manage.

I lost 50lbs in 3 months. 

My eyes couldn't handle the light. No, it wasn't a migraine. It was just my eyes.

I can hear the electricity and sometimes have to unplug things because it's such an irritating sound. I have super hearing, always have it just got worse...or better.

I was very frightened. 

It was my stress and anxiety manifesting physically in me.

I had been tip toeing around shards of glass unsure of every step.

Chaos manages me whether I like it or not. With all the grace I can muster I must manage my chaos. I'm lacking in the grace department. (That is a joke.)

When I stand naked in front of you for you to see my flaws I am most free; in turn I hope to free you from being alone. We are only human. To be human is great. It is also a great responsibility.

On a normal regular day I'm like a macro dose of Ayahuasca to those around me.

Fires should be stared at. Bowls of water for gazing. 

Introspection should take you to the deepest fathoms of your soul...and I hope I've transported others to places they could never have imagined, brought comfort when need and acceptance when others shun.

I can't hide my feelings if I'm sad, angry or happy. 

The truth of me is easy to see. 

I speak out loud. I live out loud. I question everything. I see the beauty in all. I also see the pain. There is no light if there is no darkness.

I believe in the grounding and the spirit flight. Call me crazy but I know I'm blessed even when my life is out of control. I control me.

Why do I worry? Because somebody has too. The future matters. The Authorities on Earth aren't doing a good job. I don't know if you've noticed. I'm talking about the WHOLE world. People are hysterical and need real guidance not control.

I did not use the word Leaders, I specifically use the word Authorities.

We need leaders not manipulators. 

I'm a believer in Chaos theory and it works for me. For in chaos there is order. 

If you are Atlas, and I know you are, please don't shrug.

I'm not rebellious but man will not govern me for I am conscious. This is a tenet of my life

The Gift of Forgiveness

One of the blessings of humanity is the gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness is hardest for ourselves because we often can't move beyond our own doings. 

The soldier that has to deal with the death... whom do they blame? 

The addict that fought their way out of an abyss, but after they see the light, then they look back and say, "Oh no what have I done?" Who do they blame? 

Convicted felons live forever with their crimes, literally, just as the victims. How long do you continue to be a victim? 

The border lines between many countries have often been drawn by those with no interests other than their own. It was done so long ago it's only remembered in stories from our Fathers. The people that live on one side are mad at the other, for things neither had anything to do. 

The Children of Earth shoulder the blame of the past and carry falsely the burdens of others long dead.

Responsibility for ones actions is key to forgiveness; actual real personal responsibility, but to know it you must accept it in yourself first. None of us is perfect. 

We must leave room for learning and forgiveness...for ourselves and others. 

Some people are stuck in an eternal loop of a hell of their own making. 

Where do you put the blame? 

All the while the answer was inside themselves.  

Personal responsibility for one's own actions is often the hardest to accept. 

To blame no one...but to just love. 

Blame is one of the children of hate. 

What kind of future are you making for the children of love and peace?

It's only your true self that can forgive and not blame.  

The swaths of humans on this planet Earth have not been here long. 

We have only begun. 

To understand, and most importantly accept we are just animals that must coincide together in a symbiotic relationship with all this dirt, metal, bears, and virus. 

We have no choice. We do have a choice how we walk forward in to the future. Only the past you can't control.

The good and bad is in all of us. 

I know this to be true, this is part of my tenet of life. 

We choose to be good. 

We choose to be bad. 

We choose to be happy. 

We choose to be sad.

Our life is under our control, even if just bits of it. 

We must as a people (humans as a whole) forgive. 

When the tribes of the people can stand up and say no the petulant blame we have the best chance to move forward. 

The truth of horror that happened to someones grandfather is real. 

Forgiveness lives in each one of us; it's you that are in charge of it. 

Ownership of individual choices is key to your personal happiness but to get there you must forgive.

It's a beautiful feeling when we can own the good things. 

In the depths of the hell of our own bad choices.

 

God lives in us. When we ask God for forgiveness if we aren't truthful God knows it. 

God lives in all of us. 

We our own God, or devil of our choices.

We've lost religion and with it guidance.

It's right here 

Waiting for you 

Be still and listen

So long Joe Rogan and thanks for all the fish

 I've just managed to untangle myself from the fetal position after hours of lady cramps. I'm fucking 48 and still dealing with this trash blessing. Seriously though, while reeling in pain as I curse my ancestors a glimmer of light shown through into my dark unforgiving soul. 

Joe Rogan's new pod cast!

His guest is, Douglas Murray. I know nada about him. (Sometimes it's more fun to jump into the water to figure out the temp... figuratively. If I don't say figuratively someone inevitably will harm themselves with their own stupidity but blame someone else 'cause how can someone be actually responsible for their own actions. That's just retarded.)

Brilliant conversations...thought provoking. Idea sharing.

Idea sharing; it used to be a normal thing. I think. I read about philosophers and that's what Universities were supposed to be but I think we can all agree that Universities are not about Idea sharing. If you don't believe that please reach out and ask questions. A simple goggle search will help. You have to stop listening to what people say is happening and actually see it yourselves. Which has been made even harder these days. 

Anyway...

There is a difference between male and female and it's manifesting itself right now. It's fucking tangible bitchs! 

I'm a woman. Am I different then men? Hells yeah I am. Am I better because I'm a woman? No. Am I less? Who the fuck would put that thought in anyones mind literally retarded civil society. Depends on what we are talking about. That answer is bothersome to 'the left(?)' because it asks questions that are opposed to their thought programing. 

But we haven't been able to talk about it. I have 'cause apparently I stopped giving any fucks since birth much to my parents dismay and dare I say civil society that I have unapolgetcly also been a part of the decay of the aforementioned and what have you. I'm sorry not sorry mom and dad.

I love talk radio. I always have. We didn't have a T.V. and when we did get one it was only Star Trek and some arabic Sesame St. For real. No Lie.  I'll listen to sports talk, car talk but my favorite is political talk. Not real conversations in that I think they should be.

Then walks in Covid and Joe Rogan into my world. Real conversations between real people. Some really smart people discussing intelligent thoughts and ideas in a genuine manner. I arrived late to the party.

The party of Ideas not dogma.

Bret Weinstein's Dark Horse with Ben Shapiro and ton's of others you should be listening too. Not necessarily agreeing with but listen. And still your mind and hear as well. 

Since the infection of Covid on society in the US we have a problem that is larger than is comfortable to talk about. Out loud. Without being called a kook or conspiracy theorist or a Karen. And seriously fuck you all with your Karen shit. Here is another fucking label for you, you pansy ass bitch. If you had an ounce of knowledge from neurons actually firing I'd be surprised let alone a pico amount of actual pretend sympathy you say you have of which I've seen none. I'd like to be the Woody Harrelson of words, smashing garbage tourist glass that who the hell buys in a break between killing zombies? but your dumb ass word terrorists won't let me say the truth.  What people should be saying is fucking grow up and start thinking about your great grandchildren and what kind of actual real world with thought police shit and we have to start managing it now.  It sounds crazy but it's true. You have to pay attention to what world leaders are actually saying not one of the media or a tweet or a headline. Do you have the time to watch the cue of your Facebook account? We need to pay attention to people with authentic ideas, in historical context, and most important how people think and why they are thinking about the trash critical theory or feelings. And still your mind and hear as well . What are your local civil leaders doing and saying? Are you reading their proposed ideas on how to re engineer our communities. I want you, personally, to look up your city council members proposals or talk to them if you can. While looking this up keep in mind world management. The UN? The EU? The Lizard people from Venus?!!! Joking aside you need to pay attention and the internet isn't the real world. 

I'm not sure if my digression there was helpful or not but it's a way... 

Like many people out there looking for some sanity in a very chaotic time....Don't you sometimes just wish you were one of the dolphins that got to escape? You aren't though so be grateful for the fish. That totally makes sense to me and if you didn't read the Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy well...that's just dumb. (The fish is knowledge silly and we need to feed our minds.) Or maybe you aren't high enough...holy shit that was a joke and it wouldn't matter anyway.

 

The Greatest Conspiracy Theory Of All Time.

We all know global warming is a hoax. If you didn't know it was made up they made it obvious by starting to prosecute people that speak out against it. If you have to prosecute people for speaking the truth then you are seriously hiding something ...something large. (Pollution is a different subject.)

http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/03/10/us-attorney-general-we-may-prosecute-climate-change-deniers/

This whole theory starts, or not...I'm not sure where it begins, with global warming (I know they changed their 'name' to climate change. Smart move because our climate changes and we can all agree on that.)
So the government wants to give billions of dollars to less developed countries meanwhile taking control of big business through regulations via the EPA and whatever other alphabet soup agency can get their fingers enmeshed.
In easier words, taking US and any other western countries tax dollars and handing it out.
A bit of info...the government has no money other than what it takes from you and 'less developed countries' are more crooked than a question mark drawn between your ego and IQ.

Common core where the goal is to dumb down every 12th grade student to graduate at a 9th grade level. Research something for yourself...really research it. Don't listen to the news ..they aren't on your side.

Agenda 21 -control of all water ways...even a ditch that holds rain water, food production, housing ...Or 'sustainable development'. Have you noticed you have seen the word, sustainability, often lately. It means to be able to maintain at a certain level.
The Global Chieftains, of which President Obama is a main player, want to sustain all that you do...they want to control you.
If you don't know about Agenda 21, Ambassador Bush, then President (41) signed the UN non binding agreement. You should google it and then it should worry you. Side note...did you wonder why the Bush's aren't supporting Trump? He's not part of the club. He calls them out.
Google the new HUD rules, Affirmatively furthering fair housing,...I want YOU to look things up. You will be smarter and more informed for it. It wants section 8 housing in middle class neighborhoods. Taking YOUR money and filling the house next to you with someone that can't afford the ANY house. Is crime in poorer neighborhoods correlation or causation?
The equalization of communities. ...except the really rich and those in charge.

Have you ever read 1984? Harrison Bergeron? They are like instruction manuals for the left. They were written as a precautionary tail though. 1984-Everyone wears the same clothes, men and women. The country is fighting one nation and then the next week it's a different nation but everyone pretends that they weren't fighting the first. It's insane. You have your 2 minutes of hate...one of my favorites that the left has take up. HB-mindnumbing sounds to stop you from thinking on your own. Glasses that hinder your eyesight because you have 20/20 vision and other don't... let's make everyone equal. You should read them because it's what's happening now...

Ok...I'm all over the place but I'm talking conspiracy here so it works ...right?

Now lets go to this transgender thing...I'm not going it to details of the left entertaining a mental disease as a civil rights movement because wait...oops. I wasn't going to get into it.
It's called the non-bianary movement ...remove sex (even though we all know there are big differences in males and females. Blood comes out of my vagina every month...) by seeming to shame society by thinking that you can choose your sex. Which you can't, we are human.

Get rid of our borders! Let everyone in. Destroy the American way of life. Destroy the western way of life. No western country should have borders. Have you seen what's happening in Europe? The window lickers are in charge and the animals are starting to take over via chaos.
The Global Chieftains want this chaos so they let the terrorism by fundamentalist Muslims happen. Isis is growing. They, US, just bombs them some and puts 'safety measures'  in order (ORE- rules of engagement) makes it look like they are hurting them. We could destroy them in 4 weeks if we wanted. We could destroy them in one day if we wanted. We have done neither.

The Global Chieftains want a one world order. They started slowly and have now have turned it up a notch. It's easy when you have mindless numb nuts heading every cause the mentally insane can conjure. Was that mean? If you think that was mean you are the problem.

The greatest conspiracy theory of all time is a one world order. (It's not an original ...it IS happening though.)
No countries.
Everyone wears the same grey jumpsuit.
You don't get a gender to display.
No more family unit...gay or straight.
Equality for all by making everyone equally dumb and poor.
Wait a minute!
That's sorta like a communist one world order?!!!!
Hold the press...the great equalizer...communism. So pure. So ...how many people died during the Bolshevik revolution? Communism in general?
90 million+ people.

I like my freedom. Do you?
Will you admit that this theory is no longer a theory but something is actually happening?

I typed this from my aluminum room to save me from the EMP's and I took my battery out of my phone so the government couldn't hear me typing...oh shit. I typed this on my Mac, via blogger on the great wide internets that already monitors all I say. ;) That was a joke about the truth. My theory was solid a few years ago...it's no longer a theory.

The Religious Re-Awakaning of Islam

The USA has a massive problem.  The problem is the rampant lies, omissions and attacks on people telling the truth.    
The truth isn't good. It's uncomfortable to the political left so they ignore it and anyone telling the truth is crucified ...not literally but I will tell you who is being literally crucified...
In June of 2014 nine men were crucified in Syria by the Islamic State.
In October of 2014 a 17 year old boy was crucified in Raqaa for apostasy. (Apostasy is a RELIGIOUS term....but don't worry...it's the religion of peace...)
In January 17 men were crucified.
Should I go on?
Nah...I think I've made my point.

Slavery...there is only one religion being practiced that has instructions on how to handle sex slaves.
"O Prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their dowers; and those (slaves) whom thy right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war whom Allah has assigned to thee"  
"And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves..."  

...but please bring up slavery in the USA...cause it's been out lawed for some time. ...and no,  racism in the US is not institutionalized ... you don't know what that means if you say it's true. Unless you are discussing what's happening on university campuses or blacklivesmatter. That my friends is actual racism.
In the UAE, Saudi Arabia,  Pakistan , India, Chad, Nigeria, Syria...slavery is alive and well.
...but please bring up that Thomas Jefferson owned slaves and do your best to erase his name from every monument.

You think you're morally superior to me because you use a certain hashtag?
That "bringbackourgirls" hashtag doesn't make you look morally superior. It shows how shallow you truly are.
No my friend...when you can acknowledge that the Islamic state ...and Islamic community will throw a man off a roof because they are gay then you will be in a better state of mind.
"If two men among you are guilty of lewdness, punish them both. If they repent and amend, Leave them alone" 
"...For ye practice your lusts on men in preference to women: ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds.... And we rained down on them a shower (of brimstone)" 
The Christians aren't terrorizing the masses so if you bring up the bible you have no argument.

Wanna talk about the war on women? That all women in the religion of Islam are worth half that of a man is a fact. That if a woman is raped she needs the man to admit it or prove it with 4 male witnesses. Sounds sorta like what Hillary Clinton requires from her husbands rape victims. Oh Snap!
Wanna talk about the war on women some more? Don't let anyone other than your family members see your face because if a stranger does and he rapes you...it's your fault.
Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Afganistan, Iran, Qatar, Pakistan..the UAE ...are all ruled by Sharia law.

Sharia law is awesome for freedom...nope. It's the opposite.

The Fort Hood terrorist attack took the Obama administration 5 years to admit that it was terrorism ...not work place violence.
That's a problem with our government...that knows but shields the truth from you when it's blatant.
The Obama administration is glaringly putting you at risk and does not care for your safety.
The Muslim brother hood...a terrorist organization, has been given multiple seats at the American governments table under the Obama administration.
The Muslim brotherhood that was involved with the Nazis. Yeah...all buddy, buddy but please don't bring that up because it's the TRUTH!
The political correct nature of the left is making it practically impossible to say the truth without being called names or harassed.
Political correctness has been the start of the unraveling of this great nation...where freedom of speech...and religion are paramount.
Please don't bring your bible to Saudi Arabia...things won't go well for you.
Global warming has nothing at all to do with terrorism. The middle east has been hot as shit for thousands of years, I'm pretty sure I'm on target here.

The western school of thought of what a moderate muslim is is different when referring to the Islamic community. By western standards moderate muslims aren't true muslims and are considered hypocrites. Think about that. Western thought and reasoning is not the same.
Islam discusses when you should lie. It's called Taqiyya. For reals. I'm not making this up to make Islam look bad.
Muslims are permitted to lie if it's good for Islam.

What should scare you the most is that there has been a religious re-awakening of Islam. That's scary because when you hear some talking head say but the Koran says...
"Kill one man and you have killed them all."
They are lying to you! The quote is...
"We ordained for the Children of Israel that is any one slew a person-unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land-it would be as if he slew the whole people."
That is sick and gives the ok for terrorism.

Wanna argue with me that it's Bush's fault or American politics in the region? Then you don't know what you are talking about in any way what's so ever.
How far back do you want to go? ..Because Islam, true Islam, is anything but the religion of peace and it's being embraced all over the world. ...and people are dying for it.

Dumb-Ass Hot-Mess

How do you tell your Mom and Dad…
Me…”Sorry Mom and Dad, I’m not sure if you raised a dumb-ass of a hot-mess or I just became one as my years as a klutz on this earth escalated into this Un-Holy being that I am now."
I can sorta blame it on them right? Well maybe her. (I love you Mom…I’m YOUR girl.)
My Mom did take a tumble while I was busy minding my business trying to take human form, although Un-Holy for sure, in her Uterus sucking every fun quality I could from her…she kept many for herself though as she puffed away on her Virginia Slims, thankfully.
I’M JOKING!!! Not about the tumble and I was the one of the four of us that she didn’t smoke with while pregnant.

I think I have always been a disaster, a ragamuffin, a pigpen…
…Even at the age of 40, put me on a water ride with a bunch of Children and I’m the one that gets soaked to the bone, hair matted down to that of my greasy headed youth…
I can’t walk up the stairs with out tripping…This shiz has amplified as I’ve grown older.
When I was a Child I broke my thigh bone connected to the hip bone so high I was in a body-cast for some time…wheeled around in a red wagon by my siblings and cousins…I had to learn to walk all over again…Ahhhhhhh...Youth!
Youth is no longer on my side and Karma seems to be taking over. You would have thought I followed direct orders and killed an innocent bystander…he was guilty though, I swear. (That’s a joke people. I don’t think I’ve ever killed anyone…Not even on our road trip last year when the rear lights weren't working we turned ALL the lights on in the camper we were towing during a heavy down pour at dusk:/ I’ve done everything I can to prevent it.)

Some/Most to include my passive aggressiveness of my ailments are just remnants of injuries that have gone haywire in the last months as I’ve tried to ignore them, knowing deep down inside my mantra is…
…”Cells are just a pre-cancerous condition”
I should be thankful so far that all I have wrong with me is some bone, nerve, arthritis and tendon issues.

Note…We are all gonna die…it’s inevitable.

I could put it off no longer…I had to make an appointment with my hand/wrist Doc/Surgeon.

For the last 5 months I’ve lived under the guise of not being crippled. (I’m not really crippled, I’m just bitchy and probably PMS because if I’m not in the midst of my cycle, well you should just gather that I am PMS.)
In my right wrist I have an evil case of tendonitis only appropriate for an Un-Holy being.
It’s left a protruding ‘painful' nodule about the size of a penny on the underside of my wrist.
I’ve had it for months, 7(?) of them. My Doc tried injecting me with 'I don’t know what' but it looked like a 7 month old babies snot that’s had a cold for a couple weeks and the Mom is sick of wiping it on her sleeve so until someone looks she just lets that young child have a snack that’s dripped from it’s nose to perhaps ease the tension? blow up the tendon? I don’t know…but it was the easiest most un-invasive procedure that could possibly fix my problem. I waited for it to perhaps suicide subside. It worked for a few weeks then came back like that 3rd cousin that finds you after you win the lottery and Judge Judy can’t get rid of them with out the help of sidekick Byrd…After I had another visit with him where he said another shot won’t cure it and that I should see how long I can take it then go from there.
Well here I am months later and surgery to remove my tendon is now really only debatable in my psyche.
How excited am I?!
Not.
I made suggested we try another shot hoping the pain would at least ease for awhile. Now my wrist hurts and is bruised but I think it will ease my discomfort...a bit for a few weeks till I set the date to get rid of that bitchy tendon that it turns out …I don’t need?!!!

My left arm has also acted up in the oddest ways…my pinky and ring finger have enjoyed a great deal of attention and are acting like brats…The pain(?) enjoys taking road trips up my forearm and likes to party at night with my right forearm.
I have to see a nerve specialist. We will have to go from there about that…

My thumbs are…”A monkey can do that!” They don’t have thumbs…I have thumbs that are just malicious and bad tempered and need to be shackled into submission (braces when they hurt is what I mean, that’s not a sexual reference, pervert;).

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2012/02/rock-and-hard-place.html

This was written not for sympathy…Phleeeeease…Big picture people…I’ve got that.
It was written for my friends that got frustrated with me when I didn’t tell them that I had injured my right wrist…
…And most of all for my own entertainment.

My Period, it’s not just a bloody mess

The last two days it’s felt like my uterine lining was angry at me as it tried to claw its way out of my body; tired of my narcissistic, Un-Holy ways AKA I’m gonna get my period and all that clawing is gonna leave me with a bloody mess.
I swear I did nothing to make it angry with me…other than being a Woman.

I drank tons of water so as to discover I was not in my “first trimester”…the more water I drink, the more I go pee and more chance of me seeing…

…”Wahoooooooo…” I can get on with my life.

…And do a happy dance with maybe a fist pump here or there.

This is not because I’m scared I’m pregnant. Nope, it’s that waiting for the start of it is stressful. When it starts I know it's the beginning and I can count the days for it to be over! 

Sometimes we wake up, go pee and…BAM!

Surprise, a day or two early…

…”Mother fucker…I hate this!”

It’s so irritating…I know I’ve written about it before but realistically this is the real deal.

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/01/red-tentperiod-aunt-dot-niddah.html

The above blog is probably one of my better written trainwrecks about this subject.

My abdomen…

I’ve been picking my clothes carefully the last couple of days..’cause that’s what Women do a couple days before their cycle starts they get their period.

I put a dress on the other day, it was a soft gray and ankle length with an empire waist. I looked in the mirror, turned to the side and HOLY SHIZ! I looked like I was in my second trimester! The bloating was out of control! I put on my size 3 juniors levi’s and HOLY SHIZ!

Muffins anyone?

My Period does not just wreak havoc in my neither regions...

My breasts boobs…

The other day it hurt my nipples when I put my bra on…After I got it on I was grateful for the T-shirt bra that separated my nipples from the, what would have felt like sand paper against my nipples, silk shirt.
I woke up in the morning and my breasts boobs felt like they had grown 2 sizes and I was now a 34 DD…OVER NIGHT…much to my dismay they didn’t look it, they just felt like it…or that someone had been punching the sides of my breasts boobs in a very rude manner that caused them to feel this dreadful…like they are/were bruised all over…but with no marks.

My face…

I swear I go to sleep several nights before my period starts with toothpaste on my face; as I try to rid myself of those marks on my face that scream to the public that hormones are raging through my system…and I will soon join the Women in the Red Tent for I will be unclean.

It’s a pain in my...

There you are in the midst of this bloody mess (that’s a British term) and that first night or the night before you are kept up as the pain sweeps through your love area…
I woke up last night from a dream…
Allah (yes, I just said that) saying to me as he squeezes my barren uterus in a death grip…
…”This is your punishment for your heathen ways Witch! Cover your flesh and respect all Men for they cannot control themselves around you!"

As far as my emotions go…

Well, I’m not really a chick (a guy can be a chick) these days, a Woman yes, not overly sensitive and relatively grounded compared to others I have found.
However…
I find I’m more pessimistic in the days before. I worry about things like: the dirt on the floor…more than I would on normal days.
I’m also meaner. I will put up less with people’s unreasonable, illogical, superficial, inconsiderate  ways…My patience is not all there.
I truly wonder if that saying applies…

“My 

greatest 

fear 

is that 

there is

 no PMS 

and this

 is

 my personality."

Am I just masking my true self the others days/weeks in the month and hiding who I really am?!
I try to reign myself in…knowing that this is just part of my monthly cycle of life(?) Nah…No life will grow there, in me that is…
And if I ever did get pregnant it would be a "fucking miracle"…No really, it would.

I’ve been dealing with this monthly since I was 13 years old…I’m 40…you would think I had gotten used to it.

The Polarization Of America: Pro-Life/Pro-Choice

Abortion/Termination, I don’t care what you call it but there is a reason why someone would call it one thing and not another.
It’s perspective.
For some it’s a matter of their Religious views or right/wrong.
For some it’s a matter of the right to choose what happens to their body. They can be Religious or not.

When I was a teenager my Dad had a talk with me…
…”You have to pick.”
And I did; Pro-Choice (not because of Religious conviction). That was 24 years ago though and several years ago I came to the conclusion that NOTHING is Black or White.

I’ve known several women that have terminated(?) the life(?) that grew in them. They all did it with the heavy weight that only a Woman can understand. They did it for their own reasons.
I said…"that only a Woman can understand”, because a Man will never have to be burdened with this choice(?).
Anytime you have sex you need to acknowledge that there could be consequences for your actions and you better hope that your nuva ring is ‘installed' properly and that he wore a condom.
A Woman can get pregnant even if she uses birth control, accidents do happen…can you call the creation of life an accident?
The Woman IS burdened with the responsibility.
If a Man and a Woman have a one night stand (I’m not saying it’s right, just that it does happen) and she gets pregnant…
The Woman IS burdened with the responsibility.

My 3 Children were adopted.
Their Biological Mothers were burdened with the heavy weight of carrying these Children to term and I am SO THANKFUL they did…
However, even though I am the Mother of 3 adopted Children…
I’m a realist; rape, health issues and such are also reasons but…
...I say this knowing that the majority of the Women that make this hard decision do it as a form of birth control, most often only once. I also believe it’s not a flippant choice they make.
I truly believe it is not my right to stand in judgement of someone else’s choice.

The Religious Right would most likely say these Women are going to hell(?) if they don’t or haven’t invited(?) accepted(?) Jesus into their lives and asked for forgiveness…
My thought is that they are already living in that hell.

The over all debate is…
…”When do we call it(?) life?
The 'morning after pill’…potential life is being executed(?).

For most Women the morning after pill is a God send, pun intended.

To go a little bit deeper…
As far as the Catholic church is concerned a man cannot even “jizz off” masturbate I hope privately because the potential for life exists in sperm.
Show me a Man, Catholic or not and I’ll show someone that masturbates.

Matt. 7:1 “How can you say to your brother, 'let me take that speck out of your eye’, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye.”

I know I do not want to travel back in time to the days of back alley abortions(?) terminations(?)...

I’m Pro-Life for myself.
I’m Pro-Choice for someone else.
It is the dilemma that We that are middle of the road…not liberal, not conservative, live with…it’s not that we can’t make a choice/decision…We most certainly can! We also know that we are not in the right to make a decision for someone else.

To talk about this subject I also HAVE to bring up the death penalty.
 ... I extend my Pro-Life stand with concerns to the death penalty as well.
You cannot truly be Pro-Life and also believe in the Death Penalty.
But often conservatives are Pro-Life and Pro-Death Penalty.
Liberals are often Pro-Choice and Anti-Death Penalty.

I would love to say that I am Against the Death Penalty because I am Pro-Life…
It is not for that reason that I oppose it though…as my heart sinks...
I’m a realist...
I oppose it because sometimes someone is wrongly accused but more importantly, it’s more expensive to put someone on Death Row than it is to keep them in prison for Life.
I don’t wanna pay for that!

It saddens me that there is a portion of society that believes things are black and white…their way or the highway…I’m on that highway…driving in the middle of the road trying not to get hit!…I believe I am an average American with realistic middle of the road views…we lack a voice and the propaganda skills that the left and the right use to gather followers(?).

• 
  

Portion Control

My LittleGuy several years ago

I had a huge scare and wake up call with my LittleGuy.
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2012/03/type-2-diabetes.html

His health over all is VERY good, except his weight…which I now have implemented change in our diets…nothing freaky…I believe in moderation, but I like food. I like meat, that’s why we have molars, for chewing meat. Sorry all you vegetarians, you are missing out. Plus we are all gonna die one day, we should enjoy that which we consume…

Note…When LittleGuy was a baby and reached the monumental age of 1 I threw the formula away and did something some people would not agree with…I didn’t go to whole milk as recommend, I went straight to skim milk…I knew even then this adorable ‘little’ baby was not little and hadn’t been since I cut his cord. He didn’t like baby food and wanted normal food as well; so sometimes I would take the lasagna I made and puree it so he could eat with us and stop throwing fits…his nose works fine as do his taste buds, always have.

However…
I’m a normal Mom of three Children and sometimes the convenience of them helping themselves to bowl upon bowl of sugar laden cereals while I get ready in the morning…is a HUGE convenience!

I made a big mistake.
I put my Childs health at risk and I’m ready to burden myself with that thought and responsibility. Yes, genetics are taken into account when it comes to concerns to Diabetes, but I sat there and watched him gain weight. I do feed my Children healthy home-cooked meals and we really don’t eat a ton of processed foods, but I admit they eat granola bars, fruit snacks, pop tarts and such…WE ARE NORMAL.

My Sons are hungry growing boys and genetically totally opposite of each other.
They eat relatively the same amount, although LittleGuy does consume a bit more I admit.
LoveBug never stops moving, that little human of mine is rail thin, he eats a fair amount though.
LittleGuy doesn’t move like his brother.
My Girl, BrownNut, food is not really on her radar unless edamame or strawberries are on the table.
LittleGuy is actually more inclined to eat a variety of foods and doesn’t turn his nose up at vegetables .

I always have fresh seasonal fruit out to snack on.
I don’t have soda in the house.
They drink water when they are thirsty…from the tap. The bottled water you drink most likely also comes from the tap.
I only have skim milk in the ‘fridge.
I allow them 4 to 6 oz of orange juice in the morning…juice to me is empty calories…
…”Eat a piece of fruit if you want the flavor of said fruit.” is what I tell them.
We don’t eat dessert very often, it’s a special treat.
(It helps I don’t have a sweet tooth.)
The above list are things I DON’T HAVE TO CHANGE…that’s also part of our normal, along with the Pop-Tarts.

What we have to change is our awareness of what and how much we are taking in and look at portion control, calorie intake, fat content and such.
They are aware already the difference between good foods and bad foods, that’s not a problem.

I also have to do it so LittleGuy or one of my other two Children don’t become obsessive? compulsive? and end up with food related mental issues.

Our/My first focus is...
Teaching them to read nutrition labels and what is an actual healthy portion/serving size.

Yesterday, LittleGuy came home from school and was ready to snack…
He wanted a Pop-Tart. We got the box down and we read the label. A single serving size is one Pop-Tart, not the 2 that come in the foil wrapper like you would think.
I then proceeded to get out some hummus, his favorite whole grain pretzels and his favorite vegetable, sugar snaps.
We took the time again to look at the labels and serving sizes…
2Tbs of hummus
9 pretzels
1 1/3 C’s of Sugar Snaps.
Together we measured everything out and that was his snack.

This morning for breakfast I didn’t change a lot. The cereal was still out…along with measuring cups this time.
All three of them measured 3/4 C of cereal (a serving size) into their bowls…stunned looks on their faces and said…
…”That’s all we get?! This is unfair Mom!”
I didn’t leave it there. I told them they could have another serving of cereal. Realistically they do need to eat and 3/4 of cereal is not gonna fuel many people for the start to their day. There was yogurt and fruit too, that’s normal.
We (my Children) understand now that if they fill their bowls up once…that’s 2 serving sizes and you really don’t need to measure everything…

I’ve almost always used small bowls for myself if I am having a snack. For myself I understand portion control but never really applied it to my Children. I have sometimes, but not all the time. These little humans are growing still and I’m trying not to.

Many of this is logical but real life scenario of on the run Mom’s or Dad’s we don’t really have the time to read every label…but if your Child has an allergy you would I bet.
My Children don’t have food related allergies…

This was all written by a woman that has some mad skills in the kitchen and is very humble too that makes healthy meals almost all the time, most often from scratch…
…our problem is Portion Control.

Oh…one more point…
You can be skinny and unhealthy.
You can be heavy and still be healthy.
Yes, extra weight does put more pressure on your organs, I’m gonna try to ease that pressure…knowing full well that in all likely hood my LittleGuy, named LittleGuy because he’s my youngest, will always be  a bit bigger, because God makes all of us different.

My Tattoo

No, I didn’t go out and get some ‘Ink’ although I would like to one day…I’m just apprehensive, I’m judged enough.

My tattoo is my blog, my blog is my tattoo.

Ya know how people judge someone because they have a tattoo? Yeah, it’s a shame I know. The beautiful art that people display on their bodies is that, art. They wear it as a badge of…
…”This is me. I’m not a delinquent.”
F (holy shit I’ve lost track of my numbers)…
My Painted Lady…has THE most beautiful tattoos, you can only see them when she allows it. She hides them for work.
My Spanky, he over heard some woman say to their Child, “He should get a job.” He has a career and is a successful business man and GREAT Dad.
My PoohBear, he loves him some tattoos and is a teacher and a great Dad, to his cat.

I have heard that tattoos limits options.
It limits their options because so many people judge the book by it’s cover.

My tattoo is my blog, my blog is my tattoo.

I’m not ashamed of my tattoo/blog. It does limit my options but I also know it expands them.

Once in awhile someone will post something on Facebook, instead of some long reply, I will post one of my specific blogs in their comment area ‘cause I all ready wrote my opinion about said post. It sometimes gets deleted. (more often than not)
I’m the friend with the blog that embarrasses some people.
I’m the friend that has a tattoo, it’s just an on-line site.

I have a few friends that have actually shared my blog on their walls for their other friends to read. Not embarrassed because of something I have written and hoping their other friends won’t look at one of my controversial blogs where I swear a lot or talk about blow jobs…

My blog also hurts my hiring ability and I am well aware of it.
It’s like I have a big tattoo on my face that says “Fuck you!” (I don’t and that’s NOT how I feel but for someone that doesn't know me…they have a tendency to judge.)

It’s part of my message…
…STOP JUDGING PEOPLE…look at yourself first.

It’s still a tattoo, on my face. I’m the only person in the WORLD (that I can find) with my first and last name. Yeah…”We are all unique, just like everyone else"….except I actually am. It IS detrimental and it’s also fabulous.

I do discuss sex, divorce, dating, my issues with my bones…I review restaurants and talk about food…
…I run the gamut.
My life I do not live on line, you just think I do ‘cause I share so much, because I would be judged even more than I already am.

I love my tattoo…it’s my art.

Life As A HotChick

I had to go to the DMV today. I didn’t dread it.
I left my house and started on my way realizing almost half way there I had forgotten my paper thingy so I could renew my plates.
Some people would be angry or pissed. I laughed at myself. 5 minutes out of my life was not going to end the world.
I was in and out.
My friend sent me a text when I said I was done.
…”Life is easier when you are a hot chick.”

I don’t believe that.

Life is easier when you are grateful for all you have.
Life is easier when you treat people with respect.
Life is easier when you can laugh.
Life is easier when you set your priorities straight.
Life is easier when you acknowledge all the love in your life.

Life is easier when you are grateful for all you have. (I know I said it twice.)

We all know my life isn’t perfect and some of my blogs I let out my frustration…but that’s what I do… I let it out and don’t let it back in.

F2 has told me…”Not everyone can be like you.”
She’s right they can’t. I want each person to be themselves. The world would be like an episode of The Twilight Zone if everyone was like me.
What I do want people to do is look at the big picture.

My bone structure has nothing to do with my happiness. That’s a joke.

I take care of (in no particular order) my face, hair, body(sorta), friendships, family (this is my reminder to call my sister in Miami).
I treat strangers with respect. I look them in the eyes and when I say…
…”How’s your day going?” I mean it.
Sometimes they look at me perplexed and then ‘get it’…
…I care.

When my friend sent me the text…
…”Life is easier when you are a hot chick.”
I smiled…and took notice of my life.

I failed at marriage but succeeded in divorce.
I miss my Children when they are at their Dads but have discovered I’m a better part time Mom than a full time one. (As a Mom, that was hard to admit out loud.)
I have all these injuries that can’t be seen from the outside but I know they will get better.
My Besties KNOW my life is not perfect but I usually find a way to laugh things off.

…But...my life is easier than someone who does not take note of all there is to be grateful for.
The best looking person in the world can also be the ugliest.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts.

A Letter For The Piss And Drop Line

Dear Parent of young child/children,

        

         Your lack of knowledge as to how the ‘Kiss and Drop’ line works has many of us other parents now calling it the ‘Piss and Drop’ line because we get so pissed off at your above mentioned lack of knowledge.

         If you are coming from the South please proceed into the ‘parking lot area’ line. DO NOT hold up traffic by waiting for someone coming from the North to let you into the ‘curb side’ line. There are a great deal of other parents waiting to drop their own child/children off that come from the North.

There is a responsible adult/teacher helping them get across said ‘traffic’(?).

If you do not trust that your child/children cannot get across safely please either figure out how to come from the North or transfer your child/children to a different school because the person that gets your child/children across said ‘traffic’(?) is responsible for your child/children’s safety during school hours…just sayin’.

         If you are coming from the North please obey the laws of the 4 way stop sign intersection. LOOK around and see if you arrived AFTER someone else. That someone else has been waiting for THEIR TURN. Don’t just go because you want to.

         Please also do NOT park your vehicle or get out of it. Do not wait for the teacher to come get your child/children. If you don’t think it’s safe enough, find a PARKING spot either on the road or in the parking lot and then get out to walk your child/children to the school grounds.

Thank you,

The parents of other children that you inconvenience daily.

Note, this letter is not sanctioned by SRES.

Bullying

My Daughter, BrownNut, was sent home with a letter the other day from school.

“Dear Parents,
There was an incident yesterday with a child in fourth grade. Students may have heard some real inappropriate words and some were upset and scared by this.
We want to asure you that all the necessary steps are being taken to ensure the safety of all the children. Adults have been available to talk to the children and the parents who are directly involved have all been contacted. They are taking the appropriate action with their children. Consequences are in place.
We are unable to discuss specific detail with you, but please be rest assured that all precautions are being taken. If you have not been contacted directly, your child is not involved in the incedent. Fell free to contact us with any additional concerns.”

I asked my Daughter if she knew about the ‘incident’ and she told me about a fight she had seen the day before. 
There had been a story in the news about a Child, a 4th grade Boy, that had written a “hit list”(?). The Child had been removed from school and all the Parents of all the Children involved were told about said incident. 
I’m assuming here but obviously this letter is the generic-ish form and has nothing to do with a fight she described to me as the letter coincides with the news story that was on that night during a news segment.

I have to go on hearsay as my Child was not involved.
I’ve heard that the Child involved was being bullied by these other students. Do I know if it’s true? No. Does it open another avenue of discussion with my Children. 'Yes', does not even cover it.

Here we are as parents, most of us doing the best we can to raise good human beings…
We send them off to school 5 days a week for 7 or 8 hours.
We can not control everything they see or do.
My Daughter said to me…”Mom, you can’t protect me from everything, not even death (or swearing).”
She has a valid point.
I/We can however give knowledge of real world events that can guide Her/Them, to make good choices.
I/We can take little moments as learning lessons…

Who do we blame for an incident like this?
Is it the bullies we blame?
Is it the Child that wrote the list and threatened said bullies to blame?
Is it the parents of the bullies?
Is it the parents of the child that was bullied to blame?
Is the school to blame?

Not everyone on the list is to blame totally. Almost everyone though should take some part of the blame.

Are you raising a bully?
How do you treat your spouse? Is it with respect or is your child pulling a 'Monkey see Monkey do’? Your actions behind closed doors when you have Children open a window for us to see in.
I see some couples whose marriages are fraught with actions of disrespect as one treats another as a door matt. It’s sad. I then see the Children treat other Children the way the abuser does to the abused.
You think it’s submissive…it’s abusive.

Do you as a parent not encourage your Child to open up to you? (Not on purpose.)
I think it’s the first 5 years of a Childs life they are molded into who they will be. If you open and Keep open a trustworthy line of communication You and your Child will have a better chance at understanding and knowing what’s going on in their life.

Everyday I have my Children, and I know their Father does the same thing, talk about…

“Good Parts, Bad Parts.”

They tell me about their day, the worst part, the best part and the in-between.

Most of the time it’s done at the ‘old fashioned dinner table’. Once in awhile our evenings are so busy I have to do it as they lie in bed. It get’s done though, not as a chore, but because I/We care what is going on in their lives and have set a ground for which they can blossom and grow.  

I/We have 10 year old Girl and 7 and 8 year old Boy’s.

They are young and malleable still. They still look up to Me/Us and not just ‘cause I’m taller.

They talk to me because they know they can.

They say to me…

…”Mom, can we talk privately in your room?”

It’s usually never earth shattering in the big scheme of things but that doesn’t mean it’s not to them.

They are SOOoooo young I hope and pray I’m doing it right now so I don’t have to ‘right’ it later.

Should the school have noticed something sooner?
If anyone wants to blame the school I would stand in front of the Administration and the Teachers to defend them. They did what they could and handled the situation (in this case) plausibly.
Yes, the students spend a majority of their day there, I know this, but a Teacher has how many students? Are they supposed to know all the subtle nuances of EACH Child?! Be realistic. They are not a Childcare, they are there to TEACH…NOT PARENT.

Did you notice I didn’t put it on the Child?
 IT IS THE CHILDREN’S FAULT!…EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM.
…BUT WE HAVE TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AS PARENT’S!
Parenting is some sketchy stuff. 50% nature, 50% nurture.
As the Mother of Children that were adopted I know this so far to be true.
We have to be a better Parent.
If you are married you have to be the better Spouse. If you are not married you have to make friends with your Ex so the Children can see two people get along that didn’t once.

Whose fault is this debacle? It’s the Parent’s, every last one of us.

Faith Promise

OOOoooooooo Doggy I just got my panties in a wad! Not really I don’t have any on.

Several of my friends posted this on Facebook…
http://blog.faithpromise.org/2012/01/fathers-be-good-to-your-daughters/

Almost…a great read…but this is NOT AN EPISODE OF GLEE. This is the real world.

This is the part I have a problem with…
"Be the husband you want her to have one day.  Enough said.  “Enough said”…then STOP HERE! Is it difficult?  Yes.  Does it mean sacrifice?  Yes.  Is it worth it?  Yes. Obviously enough was not said  I watch my husband daily making changes to be a better husband and dad.  He’s amazing.  He demonstrates for our daughter the kind of man he wants her to marry one day."
 …I know this is a religious site but…
HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo!!!

Divorce is gonna happen almost 50% of the time and sadly Children will be involved.
Life is not all daffodils and rainbows.

First off there are TWO parents involved (usually). In this little site that has been shared, read and commented by many…(I didn’t read all the comments)…I did read that many Christians have a hard time receiving ‘Gays’ Yes I used the word ‘Gays’…again life is not an episode of Glee... (even their own Children) into their lives. I’m not goin’ there though, this time and pissed me off not for myself but those Mom and Dads that are happily divorced!

Divorce is NOT a bad word.
…The religious right is so wrong sometimes.

Note…Some of my closest Friends are BornAgain/Baptist/Christians and are what I would consider the epitome of the teachings of their Jesus. I know others that are not.

How about this scenario…One spouse is done, male or female, I don’t care which. Obviously (sometimes denied by one) something was wrong in the marriage. The spouse in denial comes to their acceptance(?) and “gets it”… The “get’s it” part is who is/are the most important person/s here…
This is what we can teach them…our Children that are more important than us.

We can teach them how two people that once loved one another can MAKE IT WORK even though their relationship has moved forward, done and changed.
“Is it difficult? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes.

I know great single Mom’s and great single Dad’s that are fantastic examples to their Children.
This is a shout out to YOU! Fuck all those judgmental types.

Be the Parent you want them to be!
And please stop watching Glee…as much as Politically Correct people fuel my fire of fun;) it’s getting Reeeeeeeeeediculous.

Some of you will read this and wonder why I found it offensive (?)…
…It’s a slap in the face to those Parents that made a very difficult decision.

Paula Deen

Paula Deen is making the morning show circuit sharing with the world she has Type 2 diabetes.
She is not taking blame for it.
She was diagnosed almost 3 years ago.

Paula’s lively hood is Southern Cooking.
…”You just can’t use enough butter ya'll.”
In her interviews she is saying…
…”I’ve always said moderation.”
In the last 3 years she has continued in her quest to teach people how to cook some of the, albeit delicious, fat laden, artery clogging and…
…potentially diabetes causing Southern dishes.
Diet is one of the causes of Type 2 diabetes.
As is stress…which she seems to be feeling a lot of…now…

So…it’s taken her 3 years to come out with her crushing news.

I have a theory on why she waited...

…And it has to do with her business sense.

She however didn’t see the backlash...of her mistake.

She says it took her 3 years “…to digest her situation(?)…”

I like her choice word “digest”…so fitting.

I believe it took three years to ‘bake up’ a business plan…

…Because the old one wasn’t gonna work anymore.

She…and her sons are being endorsed by a pharmaceutical company, Novo Nordisk.
$,$$$,$$$

Who doesn’t like getting money?

They are donating a…

…“...a certain percentage” to American Diabetes Association.
What is a certain percentage? 1%? 75%?
I’d like to know.

I saw Paula on The Chew yesterday and she was a bit emotional talking about her ‘situation’.
I’m not sure which situation she was upset about though.
That of her diagnosis which she has had 3 years to digest.
...or that of the backlash because she had continued her show even though SHE KNOWS THE FOOD SHE COOKS IS NOT HEALTHY!!! (Moderation my ass.)
She had the boys with her and whenever the questions got tough they changed the subject…
…nice play.

Her son Bobby, has a new show…’Not Your Mamas Meals’ on the Food Network.
Lighter, healthier versions of his Mothers recipes!
$$$,$$$

Jamie, also has a new show coming out in several months.
$$$,$$$

She has fooled the world for the last 3 years and NOT taken blame for her situation.
She can say, “Genes” all she want’s. If she was anything but a White Woman I would take that into consideration…
Paula Deen can’t take responsibility for her actions…and now she’s going to profit from it.

Keeping My Perspective In Check

Everyone has one of those days that you feel the Universe is out to get you…
I had fair warning when the Universe sent me this E-mail…

Did you know, kristin, that it's perfectly OK, even highly ideal, to claim all is well amongst doubt and confusion? To be happy in spite of challenges? To laugh at problems? Dance without a partner? Sing without a rhyme? Talk to inanimate objects? 

Oddly, most don't. 

You so rock, 
    The Universe
Habits worth cultivating, kristin. Go for it.

I wondered what is in store for my day and I cringed while reading it…

…I read it like this…

Hey sweet heart you better find a coupon for some lube today cause it’s gonna feel like someone is raping you in the ass.

Crass I know but I had a feeling when I woke I was going to need my sense of humor and keep my perspective in check.

Blagghhhhhhhhh!!! FUCK!

My really cool MiniVan has been making some odd noises.
My smart phone has been acting stupid…it has been crashing either daily or several times a day.
My right wrist felt like it had been hit by a hammer.
I wonder should I go on?
Nah…that will be my focus.

Titanium by David Guetta and Sia comes on…
Titanium…I’m gonna have to let nothing get me down.
I have litteral titanium in me…let’s go with the flow.

My Children were fabulous as they got ready for school.
I dropped them off and I had not ONE problem in the Piss ad Drop line…I was happily amazed.

Keep the focus on the positive…
Then my phone crashed AGAIN…

…but my ride…I had to take it in…
I pack up my MacBook and think I can get some work done while I am waiting, crossing my fingers that a simple oil change will be the answer all the while knowing it won’t.
First a trip to Chick Fil A to get my delicious diet Arnold Palmer to keep me company then off drive to the dealership...sense of humor on my sleeve and smile on my face…
I’m scared, nervous and ready to get raped hear bad news.

…and bad news it was.
My Ride needed new break pads, the transmission needed a boost to it’s self-esteem (remember, I knew some fasizzle was seriously wrong) and other shit too…

It’s gonna be hours and there is no way I am gonna sit in the dealership waiting…so I catch a ride home.
On the way I home I just wanted to cry…so much going on and most of it is out of my fucked up hands.
I had to focus on what I COULD fix.
When I get home I realize much to my dismay I had forgotten my delicious beverage at the dealership.
Could I take more?!

Hours later it’s ready to get picked up and Kat drives me…F7 on the way sends me a text…
…’Do you need me to pick up the Goats?”
Me…’….Are you psychic?!!!!!!’
I hadn’t told anyone about my tangible, expensive problems.
…and then I thought about it…who had I told?
Oh Yeah!!! I was supposed to meet the girls at the gym, we had scheduled a 10am hot tub meeting(?) smack talk session which I knew I wasn’t gonna make so I had sent F1 a text saying I had to take my ride in…
…I wonder how much smack was spoken about me?

…back at the dealership…
$$$$$
The cashier says to me…
…"do you qualify for any of these discounts?"
Me…”Would you be so kind to give me the Military discount? I have 3 of those ID cards;)”
Her…”Yeah, no problem.”
The discount shaved a significant amount of $ off my bill but…
...I should be floating because the money I used to have is no longer weighing me down…no new shoes for months!!!

I was grateful to her and honest about the ID cards. She figured it this way…
…"you drive them around don’t you?”

On the way home my phone is still being an asshole and it’s a serious problem for me…
To T-Mobile I go…

I don’t want/cant afford a new phone.
I’m keeping a positive attitude
The very nice guy that works there sits down with me and has a look at my piece of shit phone. It won’t do a damn thing. It’s frozen again.
He tells me the good news…
…”I think we can fix it by wiping it clean. You will loose everything but your contacts.”
Me…”All right”
…as he fixes my phone we chat and he pulls up my account to see how much a new phone would be if it can’t be fixed. As he looks at my account he says to me…
…”We have a new plan. It’s the same one you have now but $20 cheaper…”
Me…”Sign me up for that fashizzle!”
We talk about Angry Birds and how I have 24 golden eggs…I’m so proud of my retarded mentally slow achievement.

My phone has been de-bitchified is fixed. My bill will be less per month and I am again grateful.
I have lost ALL my Golden Eggs though.

My lube for the day was perspective and a sense of humor.
The people that helped me were kind…had I carried a chip on my shoulder it could have gone a different direction.
…but no…
I pretended all was well.
I was happy even though I was challenged.
I did a gig.
I laughed at my problems.
…and yes I did talk to inanimate objects.

Things to do

Name off all the people you love
Enter your day with positive thoughts
Validate your self worth daily
Eat a piece of chocolate
Read ferociously

Stop blaming others
Take time to love who you are
Open a door for a stranger
Plant your feet firmly and stand up for yourself

Learn something new
Invite truth into your life
Vent to a friend but know your audience
Inspire yourself to push your limits
Nap once in awhile
Give someone a hug

Live life like there is no tomorrow
Own your mistakes
Visualize yourself better and more than you are
Instigate love all around you
Natural beauty is the most beautiful you
Gather the strength you need to tackle that difficult moment in life

Allow yourself to feel the grass under your feet
Nay-sayers need not apply for a place in your life
Dare yourself to run a little farther

Don’t put someone down to bring yourself up
Ride a bike without a helmet and feel like a child again
Express yourself 
Apologize if you hurt someone
Matter to someone
Ignorance is not bliss
Nice people are not weak people
Grieve your losses

Becoming More And Being Thankful

At the end of every year we look back at the wonderful and tragic events that have happened in our lives…
…and take inventory...

I’ve realized how easy my life is and it makes me thankful…

My Children are healthy, happy, intelligent, loud, obnoxious, curious and imaginative…they are perfectly Mine.
My Mom and Dad are still around to guide and advise Me…and my relationship with them is wonderful.
My Friends are faithful, fun...and love me so much they get upset with me when I don’t tell them something is wrong.
I have a roof over my head. It’s no mansion for sure and my Mother doesn’t understand why I like my house so much but to me it symbolizes my freedom.
I have food on the table. I’m thankful I know how to cook great meals for next to nothing cost wise.
I’m healthy. Yes, I had 2 surgeries this year but they were not major.
My spiritual life is strong.

My attitude is a matter of perspective for me.
To stand on the kitchen counter for a different view (proverbially unless you wanna see where you need to dust)…and see things from someone else’s point of view is important to me.

I do take time for myself and I am grateful I can and do. I wish some of you would do the same. It’s ok to be a Mom (or Dad) and look good doing it.

My life isn’t perfect. I have my issues just like everyone else.
My matter are small compared to others…POV (Point of view)

Is it wrong of me to want more…?
To want to…
...Become More…?
More for my Children.
More for my Family.
More for my Friends.

Someone said to me a little bit a go…
…”There is a difference between what you believe and what I believe.”
…”You believe you CAN do it. I believe you WILL do it.”
That’s how much love, support and acceptance I have in my life.

I’m thankful everyday for everything and everyONE in my life.