Catharsis

A while back the earth shook beneath my feet and not just once. 

I was fat and happy as they say and then I wasn't. Or maybe I just thought I had been.

(As you read know I'm fine now.)

I became ill. 

I have vertigo and fall to the right. Always to the right; it can be disconcerting.

I forgot how to cook and organize. I forgot how to time manage.

I lost 50lbs in 3 months. 

My eyes couldn't handle the light. No, it wasn't a migraine. It was just my eyes.

I can hear the electricity and sometimes have to unplug things because it's such an irritating sound. I have super hearing, always have it just got worse...or better.

I was very frightened. 

It was my stress and anxiety manifesting physically in me.

I had been tip toeing around shards of glass unsure of every step.

Chaos manages me whether I like it or not. With all the grace I can muster I must manage my chaos. I'm lacking in the grace department. (That is a joke.)

When I stand naked in front of you for you to see my flaws I am most free; in turn I hope to free you from being alone. We are only human. To be human is great. It is also a great responsibility.

On a normal regular day I'm like a macro dose of Ayahuasca to those around me.

Fires should be stared at. Bowls of water for gazing. 

Introspection should take you to the deepest fathoms of your soul...and I hope I've transported others to places they could never have imagined, brought comfort when need and acceptance when others shun.

I can't hide my feelings if I'm sad, angry or happy. 

The truth of me is easy to see. 

I speak out loud. I live out loud. I question everything. I see the beauty in all. I also see the pain. There is no light if there is no darkness.

I believe in the grounding and the spirit flight. Call me crazy but I know I'm blessed even when my life is out of control. I control me.

Why do I worry? Because somebody has too. The future matters. The Authorities on Earth aren't doing a good job. I don't know if you've noticed. I'm talking about the WHOLE world. People are hysterical and need real guidance not control.

I did not use the word Leaders, I specifically use the word Authorities.

We need leaders not manipulators. 

I'm a believer in Chaos theory and it works for me. For in chaos there is order. 

If you are Atlas, and I know you are, please don't shrug.

I'm not rebellious but man will not govern me for I am conscious. This is a tenet of my life