Did you ever wonder why some people call me ‘Barbie'?
Right after I had gotten married we moved to Valdosta, Ga, Moody AFB. They were moving the 41st RQS from Patrick AFB (Cocoa Beach, Fl) to Moody. My Ex was on the Advon team (that’s military speak for the first to arrive and set up shop).
I was new to the whole Military thing and had no idea what I had gotten into. We arrive and meet the DO, or XO (2nd in Command) and his spouse. The CC (Commander) hadn’t arrived yet with their family. They, the DO and spouse, are a very nice couple. My Ex then was a Captain.
For ease sake on my part I will refer to the DO’s spouse as B and the CC’s spouse as A from here on out.
This was a life time ago for me.
I’m gonna talk smack here.
A’s wife was one of Satan’s pawns in disguise. (Some of you know who I am talking about. I know she was good to some of you but she was the epitome of cruelty and power hungry towards some of us.) She wasn’t even there and directing us to what we could and couldn’t do. I felt horrible for B and bad for me too. I had never encountered anyone like her. The mean girl syndrome burned through her faster than the CSRM’s (Cool Spring’s Ranch Mom’s) burn through a bottle of Vodka (the big kind) when she was angry.
Most AF spouses in Sqd’s get together once a month for ‘coffee’s' or 'socials’. We hardly ever drank coffee. We would chat, get to know one another, plan events discuss raising money, eat and drink. Once after a social she called me and started yelling at me. Telling me I was in no place to suggest a different venue for something. She yelled at me, a Capt.’s wife, for nothing other than I put an idea in the minds of others. I was shaking I was so mad. It went on and on like that. I can only guess what she was saying to B, I knew she wasn’t nice to her either.
I found a few friends in that group, friends I still have to this day but I had to look else where to fill my ’social network’.
I was 25 and became President of the Officers Wives Club. I met some fabulous women that belonged to different Sqd’s and I loved it. The majority of them were fighter pilot’s wives. They taught me to play Crud, and taught me to be one of the best players;)!!!
Side note and my awesomeness…I won so many Crud tournaments it was silly. Up against some very big men (Pilots) who got very upset when they realized it was just me and them…last one’s standing. I lost some too, but i like to remember my win’s. I once won the Langley spring Crud Tourney…have the beer mug to prove it;)
All the Pilots have ‘call signs’…You know like the one’s in Top Gun. That shit is real.
The OWC was having it’s annual Thrift Shop Fashion Show. Yes, we did stuff like that. Who do you think used to run the Thrift Shops on base? We did of course.
I was dressed in this amazing bright pink dress, something you would have put a Barbie doll in the 80’s. We were playing Crud after and I was still wearing the Barbie dress.
All the ladies decided we would come up with names for each other.
I became ‘Barbie’. The dress was only one of the reasons they named me ‘Barbie’. I can’t tell you the other’s.
Time passed A and B moved on and so did I.
My spouse moved up in the ranks and years later I found myself as a DO’s wife. This time though things were different. The CC’s wife was/still is an amazing leader and true friend. We were yin and yang. She taught me a great deal. She was/is so different than me. I think that was why we worked well as a team.
Leadership changed and we all moved…back to our old stomping ground, Moody AFB. This time however I was the wife of the Commander. I knew how I wanted things to work by now. I wanted the spouses, officers and enlisted to work together as a team and create something THEY wanted.
When I arrived there was only a small group in place that the DO’s spouse had put together. (She had run into the kind of problem I had but opposite of mine last time I was there. The Spouse before me didn’t want anyone getting together, maybe she thought it was silly, I can only guess). So I hit up the secretary and then spent weeks on the phone trying to contact everyone. The DO’s spouse was fantastic in helping get everything together.
Yada, yada, yada…
We finally had a cohesive group together and everyone played a part if they wanted. They could say anything to me, good, bad or ugly.
It wasn’t my group, it was theirs.
When one of them would come up with an idea I would tell them, “Make it your own.”
They ended up saying, “You mean do it ourselves.”
That is exactly what I meant too. I was there for a short amount of time. They needed to have ownership.
Their were some who didn’t want to be a part of it. That was fine with me and whenever they needed me I would be there for them.
There were probably lot’s that didn’t like me. I can be very fun and overbearing I know this. I knew I couldn’t make everyone happy.
There was ONE thing I wanted to do VERY MUCH though…
Have a proper naming ceremony for the girls.
‘Rack’ hosted, ‘Peep' cooked and ‘Junk’ and I put together the ROE (rules of engagement)
All the spouses were invited.
We did ton’s of jello shots and held extra large glow sticks as we told stories of each other so we could come up with names.
One of the girls had a Henna tattoo artist come in so most of us were half dressed waiting for our henna to dry.
We had a lot of rules…Some were ridiculous so I won’t share them all.
The trend continued and the next year we invited other Sqd’s to join in, and they did so with flare!
This time it was a ‘ChinaDoll’s’ house. The fire burned as the names were called out.
These women took this tradition, (twice is a tradition isn’t it?) and ‘made it there own’ when they moved to other bases. It has morphed to fit the needs of those involved.
If I told you I was proud it would not be because of what I started but what these women have become. Leaders, friends and the greatest spouses the Air Force could ask for. In time of need they are there for each other. That need is paramount now when with the op’s temo and the danger that their spouse’s are in is on a daily basis.
A toast to you my friends and military spouses everywhere…and the dear friends we have lost…may we all meet on the other side and drink together once again.
"Here's to you old friend, may you live a thousand years,
And may I live a thousand too-a thousand-less one day,
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