Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving is such a brilliant Holiday. We don’t have to buy each other a bunch of crap we don’t need and as a non religious holiday I can guarantee the date wasn’t stolen from the Wiccan’s.
Yup, true story but another blog...

Anyway…

I get to my friends house late. I actually thought I was on time. I had sent my ex a text in the am and told him 1:30 at F1’s. I knew I should have re-read the thread, but I have been busy with crazy stuff on my brain.
I walk in the door and they start giving me a hard time…We were supposed to EAT at 1:30. I’m not worried I know they will survive. I designate F3’s husband to carve the Turkey and as he does so I say…
…”Sorry I didn’t bring a real knife.”

I throw my dressing in the oven that she has preheated for me and I start the gravy. I know the dressing will be done by the time the Turkey is sliced.

F2…”How long did you cook the Turkey?”
I look at my Ex and he looks at me and we laugh.
Me…”Well, that’s kinda funny.”
My M In law, whom I love in my own special way even to this date, came to visit us for Thanksgiving when we were in Japan. She was a bit worried and up-set with me because I started cooking the Turkey so late. She didn’t think it would be ready in time. I don’t get up super early and throw the Turkey in the oven. I use the science of Alton Brown and I swear by it! I have cooked so many Turkeys some would think it’s ridiculous.
I promised her it would be awesome, moist and COOKED!
And it was perfect. She worried the whole time though.
I tell my Children...
...“Older people sometimes think they know more because they have been on this planet longer but if you are sure of something stand up for yourself…with respect to them though.”
Me…”I cook it till it reaches 161. Then take it out of the oven"…Refer to Thanksgiving recipe blog.

As F3’s husband carves the Turkey, I marvel at my skills. Yes, even I am shocked at how good my Turkey turns out, every time.

'Linner' is set and ready.
Ex…”We should just eat and let the children play while we eat in peace.”
He’s a ‘thinker’ in my mind.
F1…”But then they will come up and bug us while we are eating.”
Everyone…”Ok…someone go get them.”
We make sure they have what they need and send them to their cool all by themselves table. A table set up in the Garage surrounded by Christmas lights and space heaters…F1 rolls cooler than the average suburban human!
No one ever wants to go first but I am starving and start filling my plate. A little a this, a little a that and a whole lot a that! We sit down at the table and no one says anything…
I think maybe it’s awkward for everyone but me. To be sitting with my Ex at Thanksgiving that is. We’ve only been divorced since Jan. but separated since June, we get along fine.
Me…”How’s work guys?”
They look at me like I have just said, ‘Off with their heads!’
F1…”So, F2S (that would be F2’s Spouse), did you get that job?”
F2S is retiring soon and looking for a job.
F2S…”No, I think I’m just gonna play golf and make F2 support me.”
She looks at him like he is mad as a hatter.
F3S…”I was reading an article that they were filling the Turkeys with hormones so their Breasts would be extra large.”
Me..”Yeah, but they are REAL, REALLY theirs, just like F1’s!”
She’s so awesome, she laughs too.
I see my Ex lean over and he tries to whisper something in F1’s ear.
I over hear it…
Ex…”I wonder if she tells the truth about her thighs.”
Me…”Ha! I don’t hide it.”

He doesn’t know me or understand me. I wonder if he ever did.

F1’s son walks in. He is wearing a wife beater, shorts and his hair is wild like a redheaded Medusa.
F1…”See I can totally move back to Kansas! We are hick through and through.”
…”Hahahhahaha”

Dinner is done. The game had been on, but muted while we ate. The game is turned up and is being watched now as the ladies clean up.

Blah, blah, blah…

I get a call…Someone I know is getting married. I tell my Ex.
Ex…”Make sure he signs a prenup.”
I think I am the only one that laughed at that. The silence was as still as Joan Rivers face when she laughs…nothing!
Me…”That is SO going in my blog!”

I always feel bad when money issues come up though, that is the honest truth.
When my Ex and I separated we didn’t higher expensive lawyers. We went to a Mediator who specializes in finance. We put together a good plan for our children and separated ‘our’ finances in 1/2. I put ‘our’ finances in small quote because he earned all of it. I didn’t work. I was allowed to volunteer though. I worked for the Red Cross for years. I sat on boards for the Officers Wives Clubs and raised money for scholarships. I helped out with whatever Squadron he was in; cooking food, planning parties and in general, helping out. When the Sqd. had to deploy I can’t tell you how many times I had to sit in the First Shirts office as we figured out what to do with the drama that ensues as soon as they fly out; be it child custody issues, household problems or women that were left with not enough money in their accounts to get by. This was the Air Force, not the normal world. When someone has a problem they would come to us. I was active in his career.
He won’t support me forever, only a few years more. We were married though for more than 10 years required for the split of his retirement. I feel shitty about this so often though. I should not I am told. I have the children half the time. He didn’t want to see me left destitute, which could have happened, in the eyes of our children and the world. I am still at his beck and call when he has to travel out of town, sometimes at the last minute. I still can’t have a traditional job. (Even though I don’t want traditional, unless ruling the airwaves and book sales count;)
He’s a good Dad. No, a Great Dad and a good ex-husband.

We are watching the game and I miss some witty quirks here and there. I really need to keep a note pad and pen readily available.

I don’t really like football. I actually don’t like watching sports on T.V. Live sports is another thing though…except Baseball. I think Baseball is probably the most boring sport…wait…I take that back…I forgot about Cricket ! My favorite sport live is Hockey. I like the violence, I don’t deny it. The sound of bodies slamming into the ‘glass’ and Oh, the fights. I also have a strange love of Horror Movies with ton’s of gratuitous violence…somethings wrong with me, I know.

So we are all sitting watching the game and I over hear my Ex say…
…”I need to re-friend Eva.”
I am thinking to myself, 'Eva who?’
I actually start listening to the conversation now and get out of my own head. I wasn’t watching the game either :/
They are talking about Eva Longoria and Tony Parker. I like to know what’s going on in the world around me but I pick scientific discoveries, politics, confrontations on the global level and sadly, fashion. I had no idea they split.
I get the low down.
Tony had an affair with one of his team-mates wives.
From what I gathered the four of them were all friends and would hang out.
F1…”That’s one foursome gone wrong.”
Me…”I know what happened. I can hear the explanation. ‘You mean you didn’t get the text that we were all going to ‘get together? Ha!”

The game ends and my Ex gets up to leave. I get up quickly and put a plate of leftovers together for him. I try to be the best Ex I can be for him. If I cook something fabulous and I have enough, I make sure he gets some.
Me…”Oh, wait, what kind of pie do you want?”
Him…”I don’t care I love all pie.”
Me…”I know there’s one kind you don’t like.”
He and F1 look at me all lopsided.
Me…”MINE!” and I laugh.
Ok…that wasn’t very nice of me. I had to apologize when I saw him this morning because I felt so bad.
Awhile back I counter-protested the The Westboro Baptist Church and Fred Phelps. I made my picket sign in my garage. I was coming home and had to pick up my daughter from piano because my ex couldn’t. My daughter asked me what the sign was for so I explained. He comes to get her and she tells him what I had done that day. He looks at me, I look at him and I say…
…”I’m an embarrassment to you, aren’t I?”
Ex…”Not anymore.”
We both laughed because we knew this was true.