Nature vs Nurture 2…?

This morning I was reading people’s FB status, reading (not watching) the news and getting my own 3 Children ready for school.

Nature vs Nurture is something that is a common thought in my brain.

Did soandso do that because of something they saw me do?!

Being the Mother of adopted Children is not always easy. That being said being a parent is not always easy…adopted or not.

I have only met one biological parent of one of my Children. I know next to nothing about the other 5 biological parents of my Children.

I always wonder if the fraction 50/50 is plausible with Nature vs Nurture.

Physical attributes of course aside. 

I think my Children excel in Math because of Nature. 

I think how my Children handle issues through out their day is because of Nurture... 

Like almost every parent in the USA I’ve discussed what happened in Connecticut with my Children…in a reasonable, calm manner.
Reasonable and calm is not what goes through my brain or my heart.

How do we prepare our Children for the world we live? I’d have added ‘now’ at the end of that sentence but our world is no better or worse than it was 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years, 30 years or 300 years ago.
Our connections with one another are different now with social websites, video games and such…
We are inundated with violence and sexual references’ at every turn.
It’s how we handle these issues and topics with our Children...
Our job as parents is to educate our Children to understand this world we live in and keep them Children as long as we can.
Our job is to sit at the dinner table as often as possible and connect face to face as we discuss what’s going on in their world.
Our job is to keep our Children as safe as possible.
Our job is calm education so as not to add stress to our Children’s lives…they will have enough experience with that as they get older.
Our job is not to freak out.

Here is what we can not do…
We can not hid our Children from the world.
Bad things happen, very bad things, all the time.
Bad things happen behind closed doors and out in the open.

Some Children have to deal with abusive parents or bullies at school. Some people are raising those bullies and will grow up to be bad people. That is their normal.
Some people have mental imbalances that create havoc in their lives and their loved ones.

You can only do for your Children the best you can.
Being calm and reasonable will help them.

Note...
I wrote this blog this morning…It didn’t take long to put my thoughts together but I thought and thought after it was written thinking how irrelevant I am.
It makes no difference what I say.
I can not fix the world and change the views of people that are not logical or unreasonable.
I can not stop the man the beats the woman up behind closed doors as their Child looks on.

…and then I thought some more…
I/We/You can be a good example to my/our Children.
That IS something we can do.
I/We/You are not irrelevant.

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2012/12/i-am-not-nagging-you.html
I wrote the above blog on Dec. 12th…it is also not irrelevant.

I am not nagging you

“We leave in 20 minutes.”
“Did I sign your planner?”
“Is your homework in your backpack?”
“Brush your teeth.”
“Did you put your snack in your backpack?”
“We leave in 10 minutes.”
“Put your shoes and socks on.” -not in that order.
“I’m getting in the car!”
“Do you have a coat or a hoodie?”

Them…”Stop nagging!”
Me…”I’m not nagging. I am your mother and my job is to kiss your faces, give you hugs and make sure you have the tools to have a successful day.”

Last night as we sat around the dinner table discussing our day I made my BrownNut cry…because I gave her some advice and some harsh truths about the world. (She is 11.)

She had told me that her friends are, “the popular kids…” and had played, at least 4 times with one Child that doesn’t have any friends…
Me…”Ok…I’m gonna say somethings and you won’t really understand yet but it’s my job as your Mother.”
“If your friend is nice to you but rude to the waiter they are not a nice person.”
“If you hang out with rude people others will assume you are as well.”
That last one is the hardest to understand at a young age. I try to instill a ‘don’t judge the book by it’s cover’ kinda thing.
The real world though is different. We are judged by the company we choose.
She cried because she came to the conclusion that people aren’t nice…I then explained that many people aren’t but some are.

Being a parent is not easy. It’s the hardest most rewarding job in the world.

Later that evening…
Me…”My job is to help you become more awesome than I am when you reach my age. Good luck with that…” …And we all laughed.

Thank you Mom and Dad for teaching me how to be a parent (not always winning the Mom of the year award though). Your value system and the constant repetition of things I hated to hear were the right things to say to me.
From…
How to properly pronounce ‘nuclear’.
That all people are equal.
Don’t be a mooch (on society).
Not to end sentences in prepositions.
Your actions and choices are yours alone.
Don’t play the blame game.

Boycott this...

Four more years…giddy up fuckers here comes Obamacare and much more!
I keep reading about folks enraged, perturbed or straight up pissed because companies are either going to have to lay off workers or cut back hours of workers…So they are calling for boycotts of said companies.

Applebees
WalMart
Papa Johns…
…Are but three companies people are calling to boycott, there are many more.

Ahhhhhhhhh…Free healthcare.
Nothing is FREE douche bags!

These companies ‘you’ want to boycott are business trying to make money because that’s the American way and as far as I am aware this country, land of the free, is a Capitalist society…but because Obama is our President and some seriously unfuckingeducated people with a dangerous lack of common sense voted for him we are stead fast on the way to becoming a Socialist society with a side of Communism.

Do you think I’m exaggerating?

Papa Johns started out as a small buisness…someone’s dream that grew into the American dream through hard work.
Let’s boycott Papa John’s because they are successful?
Nope…let’s boycott them because you think healthcare should be free. It’s not free.

You, the person that voted for this, will pay for the ‘free' healthcare for everyone else.
In higher prices.
Oh, wait…let’s boycott them so their revenues dive and then they have to lay off even more people in this magical job economy. (Don’t worry, it’s all Bush’s fault.)
Fucking brilliant move jackass.

That truck driver that delivers the pepperoni to the pizza place…
He drives a truck that needs regular maintenance which is done by a mechanic.
That pepperoni comes from somewhere…Do you think that cow kill’s itself and then turns magically into pepperoni. No. It’s made in a factory…by people.
If ‘you’ boycott Papa Johns (my example) not only are you hurting that company, you create a chain of events.
Genius motherfucking move douche bag.

Side note...WalMart, well I don’t like shopping there. It’s not that I boycott them but I only go there when I feel …blah...and I leave feeling like a super model.

I have now, most likely pissed off and insulted half of my facebook friends.
It’s nothing personal.
…but a chain of events IS created when you boycott a business…because ‘YOU’ thought you could get something for free.

Didn’t your Mama ever tell you…
…Nothing is FREE.

Are You The Irrational One?

My view point is MY perspective.
My life has been different than yours...and your’s has been different than mine.

I lived in the Middle East for 8+ years during my formidable youth, NOT as a military brat.
I never served in the military. I was married to it though.

I’m a card carrying Republican Wiccan. I’m a Republican because when I registered years ago in Florida you had to declare a party so you could vote in primaries.
I am more a Republican than I am a Democrat on many issues.
I am more a Democrat than I am a Republican on many issues.
I am a liberal Republican.
I’m an Independent that doesn’t vote any party line.
…I also don’t believe the ‘church’ belongs any where near politics and the Republicans have made it part of it’s core. It’s truly a shame.

My daughter, BrownNut, said to me yesterday…
…”I saw some commercials about Mitt Romney and President Obama and I’m confused…”

I had to explain to her that those commercials are not the truth. That the have some truth in them but they are selling something…just like the Lightbright commercial…or the Ninjago cartoon.
The cartoon? Yes…they are selling legos. It’s a 30 min commercial.

The news, CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, CNN…yada, yada, yada…are just commercials for their view point.
They are selling you something.
Many people turn on the news and listen to the talking heads and think what they are saying is cold hard fact.
It’s just a few facts thrown in for good measure.
Just like Romney investing in China…Guess what? Obama’s pension fund (from his time in Chicago) also has an investment in China. Neither of them have a say where the investments go.

Read…read not just what you want to believe.

The murder of four Americans in Bengazi was spun by our ‘leaders’ as a youtube video demonstration that turned very ugly Yes…they did spin it as long as they could). All the while it was a terrorist attack that I’m not sure could have been avoided.
I wonder why they would do such a thing…
…they now spin this disaster faulting everyone but the themselves and their…"let’s not upset the Muslims” mindset.
Our President met with the islamic brotherhood and not the leader of Israel.
The disconnect is apparent.

Irrational People...

Let’s say you get in a political discussion/argument with someone…things get heated…a little tense.
Can YOU check yourself?
Can YOU make sure YOU are not the irrational person?
Can YOU stop and think?…And see YOURself?

If you can’t YOU are the irrational person.

Our President is our Ambassador to the world...
Sadly most people…most rational people will vote for ‘the lesser evil”.
There are multiple party’s running….and more people that I care to do research on.
…and yes, if you vote for someone other than Obama or Romney your vote WILL be wasted. Our country isn’t a 3 Party country…yet.

So good luck to all of you on your choice for Commander a Chief…

I hope the conservative, liberal, moderate wins…’cause that’s a good mix.

…Oh…and remember to check YOURself…don’t be the irrational person.

Kitchen Disaster?

My Children are on their fall break…for two weeks…
I like to cook when they are home.

I bought a huge bag of cranberries and majool dates at Costco yesterday…
…and thought how can I use them…?

So this morning I made a double batch of a quick bread muffin like thing…
Flour, butter….apples, dates and chopped cranberries…

To chop the cranberries I got out my food processor. As I did I dropped it and busted the lid. It still works for now. I am gonna have to invest in a new one I guess. It’s ok…it was probably to small for me and old as fuck.

I proceed to start my mixing and such..then the baking…

My shiz comes out of the oven looking so pretty…

I slice a little piece off to taste.

I forgot to put the sugar in.

I stood there distraught and bummed out and brain stormed.
I hate waste.

Thanksgiving is coming up…
This disaster in the kitchen is gonna make a fabulous dressing to go with the Turkey…I’ll just freeze it till then.
…or stuff a some pork…that would be yummy too.

The moral of this story is…
A failure is only a failure if you believe it.
also…
I rock.

Note…I also made some bacon this morning…I mixed brown sugar and cinnamon and coated each slice, twisted it and baked it in the oven…for to long.
I told the Children they were caramelized. It sounded better than burnt.
The ‘caramelized bacon’ is now in their bellies.

My Fat Pants

Fat pants?!!!
Yes, almost every woman has a pair, or a few. They vary in sizes as Women vary in sizes…
We wear them if we have unexpectedly gained weight from the cruise, the Holiday parties, laziness, the delicious eggs we ate and the Iceburgs we drank on our holiday in Mexico…:/

Well, in 2/3? years I have torn 3 ligaments in my right knee, shredded 1 in my right wrist, broken 2 bones in my left arm/wrist and one in my right wrist. Topped off with a fabulous case of tendonitis in my right knee…that is sticking with me like super glue.
I have also been working on projects that are time consuming…Skyrim is a time vampire.
Needless to say working out has been a low priority…and more difficult physically than before I fucked my body up.
Much to my chagrin I have not gained a great deal of weight but my weight distribution and body composition has changed.
Sadly I had to move up to my ‘fat pants’…Size 5 juniors.
Please understand that…
Fat Pants are perspective.

Suck it bitches…Stay classy Colorado Springs. I’m on a ‘diet’ now.
I will probably even start working out…with my right wrist brace in place and running in the pool…whoop! So fun.

Many of my girlfriends have ripped bodies.
Some of them eat/drink special foods. They like it, I guess, and the way it makes them feel.
Not me…the food part.
I have been ‘ripped’ in the past. Let me clarify; my legs, arms and back have been ripped but never my abs…I hate ab work.
My diet consists of this…and always has.
…Anything I can make spicy or add hot sauce, fruits, veggies, coffee, iced tea and some gummie bears thrown in once in awhile and yummy red wines.

I’ll eat what I love.

I’ll just eat less.

I refuse to compromise my taste buds but I will compromise and eat half of what’s on my plate...or use a smaller plate…most times.

My Ex’s parents have had some serious health issues lately and my heart is breaking for his whole family.
They had always been vigilant with their diet and exercise. They took their supplements, would go for walks…until my Ex-Mother-in law had a stroke and recently Ex Father in Law passed away.
Waiting for their Golden years that were not what they expected.

I bring this up for a reason…

My Dad had a heart attack 10 1/2 years ago. He changed some of his habits after…and kept others.

I don’t believe in supplements. It’s been proven your body does not absorb them. Which study do you want to read that supports your stand point…pick one…then pick another that says the opposite.
I’ll get all my vitamins and minerals from real food thank you.

I won’t do a cleanse unless I hit up Taco Bell…that may drop pounds but it’s not good for your body. Don’t argue with me either.

A diet is that which you put in your body…everyone is ALWAYS on a ‘diet’.

We are all gonna die. It’s true. I swear…and food is a high priority.
I’m blessed to not have some allergy that makes food difficult or impossible to digest.

I don’t like all these diet trends.

Eat less. Move more.
Live now.
Tomorrow might not come around…

You may not think I am mature but I really am

Mature…It can encompass several definitions.
Grown up boring like behavior...
or
Adult themed ideas...

I have covered a great deal in my blog…
…Some blogs contain very adult themes.
I am not ashamed of any of them.

…but…

My BrownNut turns 11 on Monday and I’m not an idiot.
My Children know I write a blog but have only been allowed to read a few of my posts…like stories of how I became a Mom and such…
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/09/adoption-my-journey-to-be-parent.html

They don’t have phones or e-readers or any such thing yet but they most likely will soon.
They also are not allowed to get on the internet unless I am sitting next to them…and You-Tube…off limits unless I am in control.
They will have electronics soon enough to get on the internet on their own. I hope I have taught them the rights and wrongs, the goods and bads…and that You-Tube…as funny as the Bacon Dog is…can contain things that are not appropriate for young Children even if you enter the correct address.

So this weekend I am going to be a grown up.
I am deleting some blogs I don’t want them to find with ease on their own.
I say with ease because the internet is forever…I’m not stupid.

I’m still…mature…certainly my language will not improve on here…thats just a retarded mentally slow thought.
…I’m not worried about them seeing swear words, they can go to the park and see them written on playground equipment for goodness fucks sake.

So off I go..into deleted territory. The graveyard of blog posts…where my most read will end up.

I’m not gonna stop blogging.
The Wellbutrin is almost out of my system now…my ADD is returning and with it my creative mind.

See ya soon readers…cause boy do I have a stories to share with you...

Wellbutrin

Funny story…

I found a need to be off the grid for a bit. My apologize for not entertaining you, pissing you off or what have you while I have been gone.

Note…I find I like being off the grid.

So…on to the funny story.

I made an appointment with my ‘lady doctor’ for a check up.
We go through all the normal things, stir-ups, speculum, swabs and the touching of my breasts. We also discuss a myriad of topics…like…how I can quit smoking.
Yes, I smoke. I don’t like it, I think its gross and I have tried to quit but it seems I’m not a quitter.
She suggested I take Wellbutrin.
Wellbutrin is an anti-depressent that has a side effect of helping people stop smoking…I was all in.

I start taking it. The first week I took 150 milligrams and the second week I was to take 300.

I didn’t feel any different the first few days then subtle things started happening. I felt lethargic (?), blahza and everything turned foggy in my brain.
Then as I started my 300 milligrams I started changing, and not into some beautiful butterfly after a stay in a cocoon for a bout either.
Everything made me frustrated and angry. I had no drive to create anything at all. Creating is one of my favorite things in the world to do and brings me a sense of peace.
There was no peace in my brain/psyche.
Things were making me angry (?). I’m not an angry person.
Things were making me sad (?). I’m not a sad person.
I was aware of the changes in my psyche and kept track of things so they wouldn’t get out of hand. I still had my wits and knew the feelings I was having was because of the Wellbutrin.
My dreams were wicked vivid and out of control. Some of the nightmares scared the living bejesus outta me.

I had a trip planned. I was going to Mexico.
The night before I was to leave…
…As I was falling asleep it felt like a bug bit me, then another. I slapped my ankle, then my leg. I looked under the covers with disgust. There was nothing there.
I laid back down and tried to fall back asleep and every time I started to fall into the sweet abyss that is slumbering I would find myself disturbed by ‘bug bites’…where there were no bugs.

I didn’t get a lot of sleep that night.

Me at the Coba ruins

Off I went to mexico…and had a most amazing time.

I didn’t feel sad, worried or angry. I came up with a theory I’ll share later…But where I was staying was All-inclusive and KICK ASS.

Then I got a call from my ‘lady doctor’. My pap came back abnormal. I have never had an abnormal pap. 

In my mind I thought I had cancer. I was completely discouraged. I hadn’t had a pap in 4 years. (I had to wait because my insurance wouldn't cover it until I had been with them for 2 years.) 

I wondered how long I had cancer. Had it spread? Was I going to die?

I had to go back to my ‘lady doctor’ to have a biopsy. That word, biopsy, scared me.

I was utterly irrational. 

I couldn’t focus. 

I couldn’t see reality.

My dreams continued to bother me and at night I started…hallucinating. 

I couldn’t pass a mirror at night. I was scared of what I would see.

Yeah…not so good.

Then it turned bad. ;) 

Note…I was fully aware what was happening and going on in my mind and why. It gave me no consolation though.

It felt like there was an electric fence under my skin and it kept on ‘zapping’ (like the bug bites but the electric fence analogy is more on point). 

Then I got the hives. Not in one place…all over.

I called my doctor as soon as I could. 

They told me to stop taking the Wellbutrin.

I popped benadryl and had anti-histamine cream all over me for days.

I looked like I was tweaking because my skin kept ‘zapping’ me and the itchiness was driving me insane.  

A week later I’m better. A few bruises where the hives had migrated. 

I still have a bit of itchiness.

I didn’t quit smoking…yet. I’m still working on it, old school.

My theory on why I was ok in Mexico is a simple one. I drank margaritas on the beach, cocktails for lunch, mimosas for breakfast and for dinner…well, I think you get my drift. 

The alcohol counter acted the Wellbutrin.

I know it says don’t drink alcohol while taking it…I’ve never really been known to follow direction though.

You may wonder now why I find it funny…I found it funny the whole time I was taking it…aware the whole time but not able to change my emotions.

I was a fucking TrainWreck and that’s an understatement. 

I had every bad side effect you can imagine and I only covered some on this blog.

I’m back now.  

I had an adventure in my Temporal lobe…what did you do this summer?

Oh…and the moral of this story is…Don’t put a person that’s NOT depressed on an anti- depressant.

Waldo Canyon Fire

I’ve never had a hometown.
I’m not from anywhere.
For me to tell you I have never felt more at home and peace in a place would be an understatement.
Colorado Springs is my home now.
I have lived here for 5 years and I don’t plan on leaving.

Saturday June 23 a wisp of smoke was spotted.
The next day we had a full blown forest fire.
A whole town, Manitou Springs, was evacuated.

On June 26th we watched this devastating fire lick the peaks of our beautiful hills as it got dangerously close to homes…then the sky blew up as the winds gusted.
You could see it all over from many vantage points.
Burning eyes of red flames dotting and spreading as we caught on fire.
Mouths agape covered with our hands we watched in shock.

Let us all be thankful that those people in those houses were evacuated in time.

The firefighters have come from all over the country to help fight this fire.
Our police have been busy as well keeping the criminals from entering evacuated sites.

The Care and Share drop off has had a mile long line as my/our community comes together like I have never seen a community do so.
This is not a normal town. This is the second largest city in Colorado but still a small town where everyone knows someone affected.
We learned today that 346 houses/peoples homes were destroyed.
16,500 acres burned and over 35,000 evacuees.

This city of Colorado Springs and the state of Colorado is one of the most amazing places I have ever been and lived (that says a lot, I’ve been all over the world).
The people are happy, and wouldn’t you be if you got to live here?
I know my checkout cashiers and the guy that bags my groceries.
I even like my landlord.
My Children will know Colorado Springs as their home town.

This is MY Colorado.

The Denver Sidewalk Chalk Festival.

Hanging Lake.

Boulder

Random deer...

This is my LoveBug two blocks from my house

This is OUR Colorado.





If you want to help there are many sites like the Red Cross, and you can ear mark your money to go where you desire…

One site I kinda like…a lot is
http://www.wildfiretees.com/
You can also like them on Facebook.
El Pomar is also a wonderful site that has been a local and loving member to our community, as it IS our community.
This is a beginning not an ending. Our economy will boom.

Dumb-Ass Hot-Mess

How do you tell your Mom and Dad…
Me…”Sorry Mom and Dad, I’m not sure if you raised a dumb-ass of a hot-mess or I just became one as my years as a klutz on this earth escalated into this Un-Holy being that I am now."
I can sorta blame it on them right? Well maybe her. (I love you Mom…I’m YOUR girl.)
My Mom did take a tumble while I was busy minding my business trying to take human form, although Un-Holy for sure, in her Uterus sucking every fun quality I could from her…she kept many for herself though as she puffed away on her Virginia Slims, thankfully.
I’M JOKING!!! Not about the tumble and I was the one of the four of us that she didn’t smoke with while pregnant.

I think I have always been a disaster, a ragamuffin, a pigpen…
…Even at the age of 40, put me on a water ride with a bunch of Children and I’m the one that gets soaked to the bone, hair matted down to that of my greasy headed youth…
I can’t walk up the stairs with out tripping…This shiz has amplified as I’ve grown older.
When I was a Child I broke my thigh bone connected to the hip bone so high I was in a body-cast for some time…wheeled around in a red wagon by my siblings and cousins…I had to learn to walk all over again…Ahhhhhhh...Youth!
Youth is no longer on my side and Karma seems to be taking over. You would have thought I followed direct orders and killed an innocent bystander…he was guilty though, I swear. (That’s a joke people. I don’t think I’ve ever killed anyone…Not even on our road trip last year when the rear lights weren't working we turned ALL the lights on in the camper we were towing during a heavy down pour at dusk:/ I’ve done everything I can to prevent it.)

Some/Most to include my passive aggressiveness of my ailments are just remnants of injuries that have gone haywire in the last months as I’ve tried to ignore them, knowing deep down inside my mantra is…
…”Cells are just a pre-cancerous condition”
I should be thankful so far that all I have wrong with me is some bone, nerve, arthritis and tendon issues.

Note…We are all gonna die…it’s inevitable.

I could put it off no longer…I had to make an appointment with my hand/wrist Doc/Surgeon.

For the last 5 months I’ve lived under the guise of not being crippled. (I’m not really crippled, I’m just bitchy and probably PMS because if I’m not in the midst of my cycle, well you should just gather that I am PMS.)
In my right wrist I have an evil case of tendonitis only appropriate for an Un-Holy being.
It’s left a protruding ‘painful' nodule about the size of a penny on the underside of my wrist.
I’ve had it for months, 7(?) of them. My Doc tried injecting me with 'I don’t know what' but it looked like a 7 month old babies snot that’s had a cold for a couple weeks and the Mom is sick of wiping it on her sleeve so until someone looks she just lets that young child have a snack that’s dripped from it’s nose to perhaps ease the tension? blow up the tendon? I don’t know…but it was the easiest most un-invasive procedure that could possibly fix my problem. I waited for it to perhaps suicide subside. It worked for a few weeks then came back like that 3rd cousin that finds you after you win the lottery and Judge Judy can’t get rid of them with out the help of sidekick Byrd…After I had another visit with him where he said another shot won’t cure it and that I should see how long I can take it then go from there.
Well here I am months later and surgery to remove my tendon is now really only debatable in my psyche.
How excited am I?!
Not.
I made suggested we try another shot hoping the pain would at least ease for awhile. Now my wrist hurts and is bruised but I think it will ease my discomfort...a bit for a few weeks till I set the date to get rid of that bitchy tendon that it turns out …I don’t need?!!!

My left arm has also acted up in the oddest ways…my pinky and ring finger have enjoyed a great deal of attention and are acting like brats…The pain(?) enjoys taking road trips up my forearm and likes to party at night with my right forearm.
I have to see a nerve specialist. We will have to go from there about that…

My thumbs are…”A monkey can do that!” They don’t have thumbs…I have thumbs that are just malicious and bad tempered and need to be shackled into submission (braces when they hurt is what I mean, that’s not a sexual reference, pervert;).

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2012/02/rock-and-hard-place.html

This was written not for sympathy…Phleeeeease…Big picture people…I’ve got that.
It was written for my friends that got frustrated with me when I didn’t tell them that I had injured my right wrist…
…And most of all for my own entertainment.

Surgeon Is Retiring

OEF ‘06

My Ex Husband, "Surgeon", is retiring tomorrow from the Air Force after 25 years of service.

Yes, we have had our differences and are probably two of the most opposite people on the planet but to say I wasn’t proud of him and his accomplishments would be a lie.

Honor, dignity, integrity…

He is a 1987 graduate of the United States Air Force Academy.
He was a T-37 instructor and an HH-60 pilot, a Jolly Green Giant.
He was Commander of the largest Rescue Squadron in the Air Force.
He is retiring as the Chief Of Staff, Domestic Relation, NorthCOM (I think that’s his title) as an 06.

I don’t even think I can count the multitude of deployments to…
Kuwait
Turkey
Iraq
Afghanistan
Sri Lanka
…yada, yada, yada...
ALL the TDY’s, that number would be off the hook...

All the deployments, TDY’s and his dreaded Blackberry end tomorrow as he begins a new life…a less stressful one as a math teacher at one of the best high schools in Colorado.

I don’t believe he shared his retirement date via social media so this is me announcing it for him if you had not heard.

…”These things we do...that others may live”…was his motto for so many years and his green feet I believe he will always wear with pride.

The Coupon Craze

I used to coupon years ago but it was an unorganized mess of cut-out colouful pieces of paper shoved haphazardly in no particular order in a battered envelope. I wasn’t very successful.
I’m successful saving money at the store/cooking our meals and not buying prepared foods and such (mostly)…but I knew I could do better.

Note…Kat and I come up with ingenious ways to save money…not just irritate people.

Several months ago Kat and I were hanging out trying to find nothing to do as our children ran wildly around making animal noises irritating each other…Flipping through the channels we came across the show, ‘Extreme Couponing’…She says to me…
…”Don’t you coupon?”
Me…”No.”
Kat…”You are gonna start.”

That Beeeeahtch decided to set me up.

She brought over some of her sons clear baseball card insert thingys and I put them in a notebook.
…and off I went.
On Sundays now I go over early and steal her newspaper from her driveway to check for good coupons. If there are any one of us will go to the local Walgreens and grab a few papers for each of us.

You HAVE to be smart about this and not get caught up in…
…”Oohhhh…I have a coupon, I should buy it.”
You have to look up the store you frequent coupon policy for one. (Extreme couponing does not really exist.)
My favorite grocery store allows 3 like items with coupons. It doubles coupons up to $1.00 everyday as well.
Sales start on Sundays and Wednesdays, you most likely get circulars in the mail and you should read them.
If you are able to take time in the store you will see additional sales.
You can download coupons on to your store card so you don’t have to carry coupons, but you can not load multiple coupons but you can cut out multiple coupons.
Take a calculator with you. Often times when a gift card or ‘Walgreens cash’ or such is involved the items are not on sale and math is involved…
It might still be a better deal or it might be a better deal to wait to use your coupons till such items go on sale, forgoing your ‘cash' or gift card.
Don’t buy shiz you would not use.

Sometimes the store brand is cheaper than a name brand even with a doubled coupon.
Sometimes somethings will be cheaper at one store and others cheaper at the store you regularly shop…is it worth your time and gas?
Sometimes shopping at Costco or Sam’s is a better deal. If you don’t think you can use a case, or don’t have room for a case, of apples? or an absurd amount of salami, go in with a friend and split it.

It’s like a game of 'The Price Is Right’.

I have been able to get toothpaste for less than a dollar, deodorant for 6 cents, Raman (which my boys love) for free, Tide for $2.00, Ragu (which I bought for ‘emergency purposes’) for 17 cents.

Other ways I save money are much more traditional...
…Buy meat on sale, only when it’s on sale.
Plan your meals ahead of time as you look at your circulars but don’t get stuck on said meals…I plan meals while I’m at the store as I see what’s on sale.
Chicken with bones in are always cheaper and removing bones is not that difficult or time consuming with practice.

Above I said ‘extreme couponing doesn’t exist’…That does not mean you can not save 1/3 off your grocery bill.
http://www.jillcataldo.com/supermarket_apologizes_for_extremecouponing

Some of my favorite sties and Apps are below…
http://www.passionforsavings.com/2011/04/extreme-couponing/

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Crazy-Coupon-Lady/142411752444680?ref=ts

http://www.couponsherpa.com/

http://www.totallytarget.com/

There are so many site you can access these days and it only takes a few minutes to do so. It’s only worth it if you DO it though.

The Hidden Truth, My Enemy The Egg And FaceBook

The structural characters of traditional Eggs Benedict are; English muffin half, toasted, Canadian bacon, a poached egg and hollandaise sauce.

This morning I posted a picture on Facebook of my breakfast, Eggs Benedict.
I made it all myself, hollandaise included. Hollandaise is not a very complicated sauce, it just takes about 10 to 15 minutes to make. I’m cool with sauces…they are a bit of a specialty of mine. You can buy those packets of powder (?), I never have though…I’m traditional like that.

My Eggs Benedict was non-tradtional in the sense that well, I didn’t have Canadian bacon or English muffins or lemon juice for that matter. Did this set me back? No….Fuck no.
French bread
A think slice of ham
…and Hollandaise made with Lime juice instead of lemon…OOOooooo…I’m so crazy!!!

The poached egg though was my dilemma. As proud as I am of all my culinary feats and abilities…
The simple EGG is my enemy.
It’s difficult for me to admit I can’t cook something.

I can’t fucking hard boil an egg without messing it up.
This past easter I wanted to make myself some Deviled Eggs…I followed 3 different recipes on ‘How to boil eggs’…I failed all three times. When I have actually succeeded in hard boiling an egg (so that the center is cooked) when I go to peel it half the egg white comes off with the shell.
They funny thing is that I KNOW what I am doing wrong and where I am failing. I understand the fundamentals of the process. I think it’s the Gods cruel punishment for my pride in the kitchen.
I set timers, check temperatures…I FOLLOW DIRECTIONS. (I hardly ever follow directions.)

This morning when I posted my picture you couldn’t see my mess of a poached egg I had made (5 of them actually). Poached eggs are not easy for most people to make…and for me to attempt this is retarded mentally slow of me and prideful…but I had a craving. Again, I know the fundamentals but the application leaves me dumbfounded.
What my Facebook friends couldn’t see is that I had to scoop out the egg yolk first then capture as much egg white as I could. Then in my artistic manner and a great deal of ’strategary' I placed it on top of my egg yolk with hollandaise draped over it to hide the imperfections …all for a picture for Facebook.

This blog is about more than My Enemy the Egg…it’s also about Facebook and my blog.
On Facebook you could look at what I post and my pictures…
I quote my Children, if they say something reeeeediculous ridiculous.
I try to be funny.
I post pictures of fun drinks ‘cause that’s what cool kids do.
I post pictures of things I make.
…but…
…The people that know me best and know the many (and not so many) things going on in my life know Facebook is just what I want you to see…not the real me.
Just like my picture of my Eggs Benedict I show only that which I want you to see.
My blog is where I tell the truth about what goes on…
Behind the Book’s Cover

Memorial Day

Memorial Day; Barbecues, an extra day off for some, sales at Macy’s…and most of all remembering our fallen; Family members, spouses, friends…

When I got divorced I only divorced my active duty spouse, not my friends or my memories of them.

The military is a different community from the average American community.
It’s not just made up of the active duty but family members as well…
…When stationed overseas or away from family you make a family.
I was/am blessed to have a great military family…some of which we have lost in combat.

We would spend our holidays together, random dinners and First Fridays at the Squadron. People would PCS in and PSC out and we would have Hails and Farewells. The active duty members would deploy and the spouses would step up. Closer and closer we grew with every event; every Air show we worked, every party we planned, every Holiday we shared.

One weekday before Easter when we were living in Japan a few of the Polish girls came over to our house and we made hunderd’s of perogies, securing enough tasty food for all that year. It wasn’t like you could drive home for the Holiday.

There were a lot of parties…
Ghetto Fabulous...
70’s Themes…
Wet and Wild Redneck style...
Famous Couples...
They had their own Burning Man parties and cookouts almost every weekend.

If you live it/lived it you understand the camaraderie and the amount of ‘get togethers’.
...That next time when you all gather…someone or sometimes even many will not be amongst you to celebrate…So you gather as often as you can.
I feel blessed to live somewhere that my military friends often frequent.
I love seeing them so they can fill me in on the goings on of their family and mutual friends…who’s doing what and where and so and so is a douche bag and so and so got promoted below the zone…

I’m writing this and thinking of all my friends spread across the world still living this life.
The stress of wondering…
…’Will I ever see them again.’
…’Will I ever hear their voice again.’
I hope this weekend they will get together and lift their glasses to the way to many Friends that have given the ultimate sacrifice.

In loving memory…

Capt. David Wisniewski

Lt Joel Gentz

Staff Sgt David Smith

Tech Sgt Michael Flores

Senior Airman Benjamin White

…”These things we do, that others may live."

…

Capt. Randy Roby

…and the many, many others lost…

Little League Weather…Could They Look Up?!

Great day for a game?!!!

May this PLEASE be my last post about Little League retardedness?!!!!

I’ve done a good job keeping my mouth shut at the games with a new understanding that…
...“boys will be boys when it comes to baseball”…and I’m not talking about the 7 and 8 year olds on the field…:/

LoveBug wasn’t excited to go to his game today…
…”When we win the Coach says, ‘You did ok today.’ When we lose he says, ‘You guys did horrible out there.’
We know I have no love for the Coach…The assistant Coaches have grown on me. I like they way they are with the Children when the head Coach is out of town…It’s a much more fun and an easy learning environment.

Today the weather forecast was bleak. I kept on waiting for the canceling of the game, as was my Ex.

Note…Many of you that read this might be unaware that I have been a 'Soccer Mom' for years. I have nothing against sports although it may look like it from past blogs…My problem is…

COMMON SENSE IS NOT COMMON

I don’t like it but will sit through rain (sprinkles) and yucky weather, cold and wind…all the while feeling bad for my Children as they play through it.
I draw the line at lightning and bad weather.
I know our weather is hard to predict… ask any weather man here!…But when it’s obvious and in your face/over head…can we be reasonable? please?

I get to the game at 11:28. We are to be there 30 minutes before when we can. The game starts at 12:00, supposedly.

Via their, Colorado Springs Little League, face book page this is what/how things went down…
All the times are estimates…but you will get the drift…

3 Hours ago… (around 11:30)
Warning! ) Lightning Strike 15 miles for Colorado Springs Little League. Lightning strike alert for CSLL. Lightning.

3 Hours ago… (around 11:36(ish))
Note…I’m gonna paraphrase…I feel lazy…
The call to evacuate the fields, lightning within 10 miles.

12:16 (ish)
The all clear is given to “Play Ball!"

The teams that WERE playing FINISHED their games as we stood around…

Another lightning strike….
Another 30 minute wait…

We waited…My Ex joined us in my Cool Mini Van…You have to go to your vehicle…you can’t stay on the field. (I get this…I’m not one to play with lightning…that shit will find me!)

I wasn’t leaving. I wanted to as did EVERYONE ELSE. I’m the pariah though…This bitch is sticking around. I’m not gonna leave the team with one less player….
What if our schizophrenic weather with a crack addiction and a side of ADHD decided to change it’s mind?…It wasn’t though and that was obvious…

30 minutes later and the game is back on.
The Coach had to leave…a Birthday party. I understand that you schedule things expecting them to be complete at a certain time…this is Little League not a Cricket game. (Cricket can go on fooooooreeeeeeever.)

We get out of my Cool ride and head to the field…
Where intelligent Men stood.  Yes, I said that.
They realized and understood the weather was what it was and neither team wanted to go through yet another delay…So they cancelled.
Meanwhile…
The Little League representative was on the other field…ignoring that which was over head and the obvious?!…

There was a few more posts after we left…
There was another lighning strike warning…
Then a…
…a delay
Then a...
…”Please be patient as we are trying all we can to get these games in today.”
Then finally.
…”All games cancelled today."

I must say now that there is a Little League Mom that doesn’t like me because she doesn’t know me or understand that to me…
A game is a game and at the ripe old age of 8 my LoveBug won’t be picked up by the pro’s tomorrow…I’ll support my Children in the things they love with the understanding that a proper schedule and a loving (and yes, stern) environment will help them succeed in life. Life’s not fair and if anyone knows that my Children do.
My Children are well rounded and they are CHILDREN…and I will let them be so.
It’s not about ‘the times’ it’s about COMMON SENSE.

When Does The Game End?

I have a love hate relationship with the game of baseball.
I love that my LoveBug loves it, can play well and pays attention when sitting on the bench.
I hate the Little League mentality.

Saturday LoveBug had a noon game. He was 15 min late because his Korean school gets out at noon. I was there waiting for him and there when the game started…at 12:08. (Sadly I have learned and found to look at my phone for the exact time of anything involving Little League…it’s done me no good.)

There we all were cheering our team on. We were playing the undefeated team.
We were losing.
The whole ‘we started late' so we can play late had already happened…:/ LoveBug had a piano recital that afternoon and I sat there wondering…
…’do they think this is the ONLY thing happening in the world?’
I had said my bitchy piece only to get shot down yet again by a huddle of Men(?) that had had their dreams shattered and would berate Women and Children to make them feel better.
It was the last inning and we were up up to bat and the Coach, the poor guy is only there to verbally assault 7 and 8 year old boys…and his son is gonna need serious therapy, had only called 3 boys up for the line up(?). The three boys had batted and the coach stood there wondering why no other boy was ready. He comes over to the dugout, a pissed look on his face and his anger is noticeable as he wears it on his sleeve…he says…
…”Who’s up next?! Why isn’t someone ready?”
Remember he had only told 3 boys to be ready…
He walks out on the field and says…
…”Let’s just end this now.”
We didn’t have three outs, we were up to bat and he didn’t finish the inning…he just stood there and quit…after arguing that they needed more time to play because they started late.

Last night, Tuesday…we had a game. Be there at 5pm for practice 30 min. before the game starts. Ok…I’m there on time with my Children, our dinner packed in a cooler because we had to leave at 4:30 and won’t get home till 8…then showers and bed time.
The game started at 5:28…yes, I looked to see the time…I’m turning into the bitchest of all bitchy Women.

Note…Men wonder why Women are bitchy…they create the bitch in us with their douche bag behavior. It’s not us…it’s them.

7:15 the ‘last’ inning ends. I know this because one of the other Mom’s and I had checked our phones for the exact time. The boys from the other team, the losing team, run out on the field and line up with dignity. Parents have started packing up their shiz and we are ready to go. The ‘Umpire’ (a Dad from the losing team comes out on the field and talks with the the coaches. He has decided the games ‘last’ inning ended at 7:14.

Note…Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. If you think any of this ridiculousness is about one fucking minute you would be sorely mistaken.

I stand up and say…
…”It’s 7:17. Why are we starting a new inning.”
Coach…”Khirstin", or whatever the fuck he called me this time, “we can start a new inning if the last one ended before 7:15.”
Then the douche bag Dad/Umpire from the other team decides he needs to yell at me...
…”The last inning ended at 7:14 we can still play!”
Me…”The game is over. Can we use some common sense and see that. These are 7 and 8 year old boys that have school in the morning.”
Douche bag Umpire/Dad…”The game isn’t over."
This goes on and don’t think I let it go…I can admit when I’m wrong and say so. I’m not wrong this time.
The Umpire/Dad had decided in his little mind (according to me and several of the other parents) that maybe they could tie the game.
Our Coach didn’t have the back bone to stand up and say…
…’It’s over. The last inning ended at 7:15.” to the other Dad/Umpire.

So they continued to play as my blood pressure went noticeably through the roof.
I had lost yet again.

Here are somethings I’ve taken away from this fiasco…

I was respectful for a time, until ‘they’ decided that our time is not worthy of respect. This happened at the first practice I had attended after the coach had sent out an e-mail saying practices would be from 5:30-6:30…At 6:30 the parents start packing up…the Coach kept the boys till 7. I kept my mouth sorta shut. I was wondering that perhaps I had made a mistake…
No. I hadn’t.
It has been made clear to me now that our time is not worthy of respect by those involved with this association.
The 'end' of the game has consistently/every time so far, been determined that the 'last' inning always ends at 7:14. It doesn’t. Or that they started late…
They can’t conceive or understand that the game is over…or our Coach just quits in the middle of an inning he argued to have!
Last night the boys understood that the game had ended…the dad's didn’t.

My son’s Coach continues to verbally abuse the boys and one Mom had to say last night that he wasn’t to talk to her son that way…
I understand a need for sternness but…
They will drop balls.
They will strike out.
They don’t know yet where to throw the ball.
They are 7 and 8 and will get bored sitting on the bench.

My Ex is out of town for a bit, has been most of the month it seems. He knows of my frustration but doesn’t know I want to take my son out of this mess because I don’t want him to think this is how adults should treat Children. I’m embarrassed of my own behavior because I refuse to sit by as all of us on the stands and those Children in the dugout are disrespected.

I want this to be my last rant about Little League. It has left a very bad impression on me. The behavior of the Men involved is sad…

Ps
If they want to have a dick measuring contest I’ll go out and find the longest, thickest strap on I can.

Pss
I’m so classy.

Little League Retardedness

'My LoveBug was signed up for a Little League team by my Ex. LoveBug loves baseball and is not to shabby of a player.

LoveBug is 8.

LoveBug’s weekly schedule…
School Monday-Friday till 3:40.
Monday nights: piano from 4:15-5:00, baseball practice at 5:30-7:00.
Tuesday nights: games (30 min away) 5:30-7:30ish and they want us there at 5:00 so we leave at 4:30 or the soonest we can.
Wednesday: is free day.
Thursday: baseball practice (I think because there is no set schedule for baseball on Thursday) 5:30-7:00.
Friday: is a free day.
Saturday: Korean school 9:00-12:00, baseball games 12:00-2:00ish and this coming Saturday a piano recital after his game.
Sunday: Church and Sunday school.

I was excited for my son to play something he loves…he says often…
…”Mom, when I grow up I don’t want to have Children because I want to be a professional baseball player and they are never home. It wouldn’t be fair if I had kids.”

I did not sign up LoveBug for this. My Ex did. 

My Son is 8 and I want him to be 8 and be a child and make mud pies and play in my street on the sidewalk…I want him to have a childhood like I did…not some schedule…he will have that later!!!

There was a big whoha to start off the season…my Ex went and thought he was there to get the schedule…no…it was a time waster of 'Little League is the greatest yada, yada, yada…’ (those are my words.)

Our first practice was on a Thursday night. My Ex ask’s me…
…”Can we switch Tuesday and Thursday I have a video conference call.”
Me…”No. I have an appointment Thursday night. I’ll make arrangements.”
I think my Ex thought I would be able to cancel my appointment. I made arrangements to get John there…
Thursday rolls around (the Children were on Spring break so they had spent the day with me till my Ex got out of work) and he says to me when I hand him all of LoveBugs gear…
…”Oh, I thought you were taking him?”
Me…”No, I have an appointment. Kat will pick LoveBug up from your place and stay with him and then deliver him back to you.”
He was a little out of sorts I’m guessing by his reaction.

Note…Thank you Kat for being there for me and doing my Ex a favor.

There was a scrimmage that Sunday I was unable to attend because I had to go out of town.

The following Monday my Ex picked LoveBug up from Piano to get him to practice…I couldn’t which he understands because BrownNut also has Piano that night immediately following LoveBug. I can’t be two places at once.

From then on I was able to be at games and such and most practices. I want to be there for my son and support him…even if I don’t have them on a Saturday I will be at their games, soccer, baseball…recitals, plays...you name it.
At my first practice I was able to attend the Coach kept calling LoveBug, “James”…
Being the passive aggressive person I can be I shout out…
…”Way To listen to your Coach and know he’s talkin to you even though your name is not James!”-I’m an asshole.
I found out later that he had been doing it the entire time.

Now…on to Little league nonsense. Yes, some people would read that and wonder why I wrote 'nonsense’…LoveBug is 8 and there are also 7 year olds on the team.

Is Baseball the beallandendall of all sports…at this age?! No. It is not. My son is also very good at soccer. He is good at anything he tries…except telling the truth, that it seems is very difficult for him…I digress….

Here is the jist of some of the things I take point with…
The times of the games on Tuesday in particular are to late for a school night. Is one game a week…at this age not enough? We get home at 8pm. We are home for a mere 30 minutes before we have to leave. When we get home I have 3 Children that have to shower and they have to read for 15-20 minutes…We eat at the park…I make some kind of sandwich dinner, fruit and such...
I am a stickler for being on time and doing all I can for my Children.

The Coach…ahhhhhhhhh the Coach…did not make the game schedule. I know this and put nothing on him for it. I think twice a week practice is acceptable and good…for an hour, not an hour and half. He is also a volunteer…that’s nice...to point.
The Coach speaks to the boys and he does it with a harsh tone that anyone that has heard him has commented on. When he complements them you can see his transparency, it’s empty and you can tell he’s disappointed they didn’t hit the ball, catch it or throw it far enough….he should be ashamed.
The Coach has placed the boys where they will be on the field (even during practice)…not giving them any opportunity to learn more or show him 'what they’ve got’. All of the boys not just mine…the Moms are frustrated but what do you do?
We have heard horror stories about Baseball Coaches taking shiz out on the Children because a parent said…
…”Hey, can we move these boys around so they don’t get bored, can learn more and not learn to hate the game…and learn to love it.”
Guess what?…I’m that parent that speaks up. Not just for my Child but all of them.

Last night was a trainwreck of a game. At 7:22 they started a new inning…it’s against regs. The parents had started packing things up and getting them to their cars…all the coaches stood in the field and had a powwow…We were not privy to said powwow. We parent’s, the ones around me were confused when the boys ran back on to the field…I went to the dug out and tried to get the Coaches attention…I was ignored. So I went to the other side where he had drifted off to comforted by the other Men Coaches to surround him…He might have been oblivious to me…but I think not.
Me…”I think the regulations say you can’t start a new inning after 7:15…It’s 7:22.”
(If you think I’m ridiculous keep reading and I will explain why I was frustrated…)
Coach…”We started late so we can keep playing it’s in the regs.” ish of a quote…
Me…”All these boys have school tomorrow and you are starting another inning now?! I don’t care about that reg."
Him…"Kristin (Holy Fashizle he knew my name!) if you want to take your Son home now you are welcome to.” He said it harshly and in a manner that I grown accustomed to for years…one I no longer accept…The coach told me several times he would be happy for me to take my boy home.
Me….”No. What I want in the future is for all you Coaches to show some common sense and know when to end the game…(here’s where I might have ‘screwed the pooch’)…baseball is not thebeallandendall of the world. These boys have school tomorrow.”
Him…”I don’t see any other parents over here complaining.”
Me…”That’s because they are afraid to say anything.”
I walked away and said to my Ex…
…”You should have said something. This whole this is ridiculous.”
I wasn’t talking about the ending of the game but the whole situation.
My Ex did nothing.

While I was writing this I got an e-mail…He should have addressed it to me…

"Good game played by the boys tonight.  It was interesting to say the least.  Our next game is Saturday, 12:00, Field #1.  We play the first place, undefeated team.  Please have your son there 30 minutes early so we can get in the much needed warmups. 

As far as playing the extra 15 minutes tonight, and to prevent any future problems, if you need to take your son home because it's getting late, I have no problem with you taking him out of the dugout and take him home.  All games are 2 hours or 5 innings and no inning can start with less than 15 minutes left (which happened tonight).  I understand the games during the week can be long and end late.  So if it's it getting too late, I have no problem if you need to take your son.


As a reminder, this isn't park and rec baseball anymore.  It's the first important step for your son's future in baseball regardless if for one year or many years.  My job is to teach them fundamentals to make them better players in case they do decide to play further on.  If we win along the way, that's a bonus.  As far as this team goes, f you have a issue or problem, I'm approachable and will listen to your concerns.  12 years of coaching high school baseball doesn't make me a perfect coach but I've been around the block once or twice. 


So hang in there and hopefully the season gets better and more fun!"

An example of the Coach’s behavior at this fiasco of a not so fun game ‘cause he makes it not fun…
We had a batter up and a Child on 2nd Base. This boy is all excited and he’s ready to make a run to 3rd…the batter looked like he was gonna hit the ball but struck out and Boy on 2nd in his 8year old mind want’s to get to 3rd and starts rocking like he’s gonna make a run for it…He took a step forward and then back realizing the ball did not get hit…The Coach yells from the dug out to second base…
…”Nobody talked to you! Nobody said anything to you!!!”
The Coach has a dictator mentality and has the ‘dic(k)’ part down pat.

The following e-mail was sent at the beginning of the season and gave me a ‘heads up' to what kind of Coach I would be dealing with...

"Parents, looks like the weather is going to be bad for the next two days.  I'm going to cancel practice for both today and tomorrow.  Due to my schedule I'm not sure we'll have another practice before our first game on Saturday.

Sunday's scrimmage was interesting to say the least.  Thanks to those who could make it.  I was disappointed in some of things we did or didn't do but at this age I'm not sure what to expect.  I was talking to one of the parents and discussing how coaching young boys at this age is really different from my high school coaching days so please bear with me.  If I'm too hard on your son or your son has special needs I need to be aware of, let me know. 


So I will send out another email this week if I can squeeze in a practice or two before Saturday.”

I worry because of the way I am…standing up for shiz. LoveBug will be late on Saturdays and I worry the Coach will not let him have good play time…LoveBug usually hits well, 3rd or 4th batter…I hear that’s a good place to be in line…

I don’t care what we are talking about, sports, art, music…There is a school of thought by the instructor…'This is the most important thing’…’Your time should be dedicated to ____’.

I agree…when a Child is older and has had the opportunity to try a number of things.

I stood there knowing the coach(es) thought I was that ‘crazy bitch Mom’...News flash!!! I’m not.

I have told my Son that the Coach was nice enough to volunteer but if he quit I would put my hand up and coach myself…I know nothing about baseball but they would learn to LOVE the game….and maybe learn what position they are really good at playing.  Me and my jacked up hands would be out there wrapped, wired and braced throwing to and fro….After an on line baseball tutorial of course.

Hey Homies

Hey Homies,

I haven’t blogged in awhile. I also have been remiss in reading my Friends really awesome FB status updates.
Just ‘cause I haven’t been blogging or spending my time on-line doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions on shit going on around the world and around the perimeter of my life.

They say if you don’t have anything nice to say just don’t say anything…
This is a first for me…I’ve been saying nothing.

I might throw in the towel though and start spewing my vile opinions and if that happens it’s not gonna be a pretty sight.

These are not my vile opinions...

So in the mean time if you need to see a therapist please do so.
If you are getting divorced and using your Children to hurt the other party, stop being a douche bag, you are hurting your Children.
If you have claimed someone else’s life as your own admit to yourself you are pathetic we all know it.
Stop belittling others to make yourself look better we all know the truth.
If you have an outdoor cat it will most likely shorten it’s life span.
Of you go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays..that does NOT make you a good Christian…I know the truth.

Ok, that’s all for now…

Hearts and rainbows to all ya’ll bitch’s out there.

Ps
I also have been really busy…and I’ll catch ya up on that shiz later.

Mac And Cheese

First off…I didn’t grow up with Mac and cheese as a kid. I grew up with east Indian curries as a staple.
When we moved back to the good ol’ US of A I was introduced to boxed ‘kraft’ mac and cheese. I hated it. There was nothing complex and had no dimension to it…Flat, bland and out of a card board box with some un-holy, before there was Snookie orange, orange powder…Add milk and butter…whatev…

I took that box as a teenager and made it a great tasty snack that Gwen;), Laura, Jane and I would eat after school…
Make said box of Mac and cheese…sans (that means without) milk or butter
In a pan heat up 2 Tbs butter
Add
1/2 chopped onion
1/2 chopped green pepper
saute till limp(?) about 3 min on med high heat
Add
1 can of diced tomatoes, juice and all and cook for 3 more min(ish)
Add to mac and cheese, grind pepper to taste in it and eat it up.
I still eat this to this day. It’s easy and quick.

I grew up sorta had Children of my own…that love Mac and cheese.
Keeping in mind that my Mom didn’t make homemade Mac and cheese…I taught myself by reading books and shiz…
I came up with something that’s a cross between Mac and Cheese, Alfredo and Carbonara.

Pasta…
What kind of pasta you use is important, it needs to hold the sauce and the solids you put in your sauce.
My favorite is Campanelle. It has a place where a pea fits perfectly, ya know about the size of a Child’s nostril.

Make your pasta according to the directions on the box, drain and cool off with water and sprinkle with olive oil so as not to find a sticky situation when ready to add to your sauce.

Cheese…
I implore you…grate your own cheese!!!
#2... It’s cheaper…
#1…Cellulose is what keeps your pre-grated cheese from sticking. Cellulose is powdered wood pulp. Now, I’m not a girl opposed to putting some wood in my mouth (my choice of course).
…skip the wood till after dinner ladies.

Grate/shred your choice of cheese’s…I like a variety.
Parmesan, gouda, cheddar…mix it up and get crazy.
Make sure you have 3 Cups worth.
Reserve 1/2 cup for the topping.

Veggies…
Yes, vegetables!

Butternut squash… It adds a sweetness and also nutrients to something already delicious and full of fat…my-as-well try to make it semi good for us.
I grate/shred it…There is a reason why I do this…it’s harder for my LoveBug to pick it out.
1 cup.

Garlic…1 clove smashed and chopped.

Onion…1/2 finely chopped.

Peas…frozen please!
1 1/2 cups.

Meat…
Bacon or Panchetta.
It depends on who I’m making it for…for my Children…Bacon.
2 slices cut up and browned and drained.
It’s not imperative to have the meat in there…but it’s better with it.

Now that I have said my piece...on to the recipe…
I’m hoping you have your mis a plas (I think that's French for all your shit together and ready to go).

Hopefully you have made your pasta and set it aside.

2 slices bacon or panchetta cut up, browned and drained.
Put to the side.

Saute in pan on med high heat…for about 4-5 minutes.
1 Tbs olive oil
1 Garlic clove...smashed and chopped
1/2 Onion... finely chopped
1 cup Butternut squash…shredded.
Remove from pan and set to the side.

I’m assuming you know to clean out your pan.

In pan melt
3Tbs butter
then add
1/3 Cup of flour …
add a pinch of salt and 3 or 4 grinds of pepper
Cook on med heat for 2 or 3 minutes (you wanna cook the raw flour flavor out)

Add
3 Cups Skim milk
Stir with a whisk until thickened about 5 to 7 minutes…keep a watch on it so it doesn’t stick.

Add your 2 cups of cheese and stir in…this is a good time to taste for salt.
The reason I didn’t mention salt above because it depends on the cheese you use…different ones have different salt contents…Parm is saltier than cheddar. So taste and add salt to your liking.

Add your veggies you sautéed earlier and set aside to include your peas and bacon you already fried up in a pan.

Stir that shiz all together…with your pasta...
Put it all in an oven proof dish...

In a sperate bowl add 1/2 Cup of Panko (you can use regular bread crumbs if that’s all you have, Panko is better though) and your 1/2 cup of cheese you set aside…per these really jacked up, very long, wordy directions.
Sprinkle on top of your pasta.

Bake @350 for 15 to 20 minutes.

Seriously good luck and I hope you read through this several times as I made it confusing for sure!

My Period, it’s not just a bloody mess

The last two days it’s felt like my uterine lining was angry at me as it tried to claw its way out of my body; tired of my narcissistic, Un-Holy ways AKA I’m gonna get my period and all that clawing is gonna leave me with a bloody mess.
I swear I did nothing to make it angry with me…other than being a Woman.

I drank tons of water so as to discover I was not in my “first trimester”…the more water I drink, the more I go pee and more chance of me seeing…

…”Wahoooooooo…” I can get on with my life.

…And do a happy dance with maybe a fist pump here or there.

This is not because I’m scared I’m pregnant. Nope, it’s that waiting for the start of it is stressful. When it starts I know it's the beginning and I can count the days for it to be over! 

Sometimes we wake up, go pee and…BAM!

Surprise, a day or two early…

…”Mother fucker…I hate this!”

It’s so irritating…I know I’ve written about it before but realistically this is the real deal.

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/01/red-tentperiod-aunt-dot-niddah.html

The above blog is probably one of my better written trainwrecks about this subject.

My abdomen…

I’ve been picking my clothes carefully the last couple of days..’cause that’s what Women do a couple days before their cycle starts they get their period.

I put a dress on the other day, it was a soft gray and ankle length with an empire waist. I looked in the mirror, turned to the side and HOLY SHIZ! I looked like I was in my second trimester! The bloating was out of control! I put on my size 3 juniors levi’s and HOLY SHIZ!

Muffins anyone?

My Period does not just wreak havoc in my neither regions...

My breasts boobs…

The other day it hurt my nipples when I put my bra on…After I got it on I was grateful for the T-shirt bra that separated my nipples from the, what would have felt like sand paper against my nipples, silk shirt.
I woke up in the morning and my breasts boobs felt like they had grown 2 sizes and I was now a 34 DD…OVER NIGHT…much to my dismay they didn’t look it, they just felt like it…or that someone had been punching the sides of my breasts boobs in a very rude manner that caused them to feel this dreadful…like they are/were bruised all over…but with no marks.

My face…

I swear I go to sleep several nights before my period starts with toothpaste on my face; as I try to rid myself of those marks on my face that scream to the public that hormones are raging through my system…and I will soon join the Women in the Red Tent for I will be unclean.

It’s a pain in my...

There you are in the midst of this bloody mess (that’s a British term) and that first night or the night before you are kept up as the pain sweeps through your love area…
I woke up last night from a dream…
Allah (yes, I just said that) saying to me as he squeezes my barren uterus in a death grip…
…”This is your punishment for your heathen ways Witch! Cover your flesh and respect all Men for they cannot control themselves around you!"

As far as my emotions go…

Well, I’m not really a chick (a guy can be a chick) these days, a Woman yes, not overly sensitive and relatively grounded compared to others I have found.
However…
I find I’m more pessimistic in the days before. I worry about things like: the dirt on the floor…more than I would on normal days.
I’m also meaner. I will put up less with people’s unreasonable, illogical, superficial, inconsiderate  ways…My patience is not all there.
I truly wonder if that saying applies…

“My 

greatest 

fear 

is that 

there is

 no PMS 

and this

 is

 my personality."

Am I just masking my true self the others days/weeks in the month and hiding who I really am?!
I try to reign myself in…knowing that this is just part of my monthly cycle of life(?) Nah…No life will grow there, in me that is…
And if I ever did get pregnant it would be a "fucking miracle"…No really, it would.

I’ve been dealing with this monthly since I was 13 years old…I’m 40…you would think I had gotten used to it.