Filing A Grievance with CSRM’s

 Filing a grievance with a company or the government is one thing…
…but have you ever heard of your friends filing grievances against you or your mutual friends?…
...on FaceBook?

It’s become an on going joke with my girl-friends here in Colorado Springs.
If I told you how tight we are, you still wouldn’t get how close we all REALLY are.
We see each other several times a week…for hours at a time we hang out in various places, from seedy bars to T.J.Maxx to the comfort of our homes as we drink the day away.

As my Brother from another mother…SF15…says…
…”We moved here to meet you.”

I really do believe that we all moved here to meet one another…all different walks of life’s and past’s so different…
Yet here we are having conversations that would make some people cringe and others pee their pants they would be laughing so hard.

A couple Sundays ago F15 and I went out to lunch…just by our little selves…
…No grievance was filled because nobody knew.

Wednesday we went to the Neighborhood bar…To sing some Karaoke and give the locals something awesome to look at and hear…F1, F2, F11, F15, F18, F69, SF, Kat, Tee and The Un-Holy Trinity, Me, Myself and I...

Friday afternoon F15 and I had lunch then went shopping.
…Several grievances were filed against the 2 of us...

Friday evening F69 post’s on my Wall…
…”Not Amy, (FWNNA) wants you to come meet us at RMB”…
F1 sees it and files a grievance…she wanted to go but wasn’t invited...

Saturday night F69 was home alone and invited me over for an adult beverage. F69 has an open door policy…always…but even still...
...A grievance was filed by F1 against us...

Sunday morning F69 decided we all needed to go to Costco and put a blanket invitation out on FB….that way no grievances could be filed.
Only F69, F15, F2 and myself attended this obnoxious event of free snacking, traffic cart jaming and smack talking about those that didn’t go…

That same morning F15 put out ANOTHER blanket invite out…
…”Her house for a BBQ…”
While we were at Costco we ‘organized’ everything…
So, F1, F2, SF2, F18, F69, SF69, Myself and of course the F15’s…and 16 Children...
…Hey, F11 and F4…We talked Smack about you!!!!...

Note…We have a deal…unwritten but said often…
…”If you are not there, arrive late or leave early...we WILL talk SMACK about you.”
We really don’t…often…;)

Poor F18 lives next-door to F1…she said the other night…as we, F1, F2, F4, F11, F69, F18, and Kat (who could careless if I use her name…) were all over at F1’s house for an evening of beverages and feet soaking…
F18…”Sometimes I see cars out front and know I wasn’t invited…:(“

It’s not that one person is liked more than another…but there are complications sometimes and we have groups within our group…

Note…our groups name is the ‘Cool Springs Ranch Moms’…for short…CSRM…
…it was something I created because I no longer had a Squadron of Women to hang out with…and everyone wants to belong to something…including me.  We have 51 members…you don’t have to live in Springs Ranch...or Colorado…it’s a private group but open to all of our friends…if you want to be a member let me know;). Almost everyone has a nickname that I have given them or that they came with...

As I was saying poor F18…has a little one at home. Sometimes, like during school, the last thing we want is to be around Children…
…Sadly, as a joke I once said in front of SF (Super Friend…her choice name)…
Me…”Who brought their fucking Kid?!”
I really was joking. I love her daughter.
…eventually she realized I really DID love her daughter…and really didn’t care if she was around…and awesomely her daughter loves me too.

...We do have groups inside of groups…I’m not invited to every event…It’s cool…I don’t wear panties so I can’t get them in a wad!

I understand that my friends need a break from my obnoxious ways.

...but that does not mean I will not file a grievance against you…jokin'….not kiddin’ (there IS a difference)...

Insecurities

I have noticed lately a progression in my writing. I’m becoming increasingly open about things and I am not worried so much about sharing…

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2010/11/tmi.html
...compared to…
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/05/better-sex-part-3.html

I wrote the first blog last year when I had just started this TrainWreck of a blog that has it’s own case of ADHD…

I read some other people’s blogs, sometimes randomly other times because I want to know what’s going on in my friends lives…but it’s not very often.
…There is a reason I don’t read them consistently and regularly…I don’t want someone else’s dogma view and style to influence my own…
…they also make me feel inferior.

Last night, as I was laying on the cloud where I slumber in bed tossing and turning as nightmares crept into my subconscious they absconded with my self-esteem…my vision obscured…my dreams of the future disintegrating before my closed eyes.

Last week I lost something and it has affected me more than I thought or realized.
Then yesterday as I ‘Labeled’ my blogs into categories I deduced that my writing really DOES have a case of ADHD. There is no cohesivity…
…I am becoming more out spoken and true to myself…
…but I feel like I am alienating those I need want have must to reach…and they are not listening to me.

Is my message obscured within my musings?
Do I even HAVE a message?

The self-doubt and second guessing are creating havoc...something I am not used to and I’m scared I can’t do what I want…that I’m trapped in a prison tar pit already introducing myself to the dinosaurs of long past…forgotten except to be studied and used.

My dreams and aspirations are so aggressive that I’m frightened I won’t be able to achieve them on my own…and it’s a something I have no say in.
I have writings that I am petrified to share now…where before I envisioned this Un-holy being of Me, Myself and I dispensing all of my experiences…

…I feel like a fragment of what I was yesterday...
…My dreams becoming nightmares…
…The path I was on receding into a black hole and I’m just going on a ride into nothingness.

This isn’t the most positive blog I have ever written, I am well aware of this. It goes along with one of my ‘Pages’…
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/p/naked-in-front-of-you.html

Even I have insecurities…oddly those are something I am not afraid to share.

FB…Wow! I’ve Been De-Friended A LOT!

I was hanging out with Kat the other afternoon in my living room while we chatted about life’s going’s on such. As usual I couldn’t take my MacBook off my lap and I decided to peruse the “People you may know” thingy….

…I have been de-friended SO many fucking times it ludicrous.

I don’t know why I went on there.
Was it a bad idea?
No, not to me…it was a funny one…as the Un-Holy Trinity of Me, Myself and I laughed uncontrollably as names sprung out of my mouth.
Inside though I speculated as to WHY I was de-friended.

Note…I still have never received a “Facebook De-friending message/letter ”. Even though I wrote one and all anyone needs to do is cut and paste that bitch it and send it to me with only a few changes…
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/02/facebook-de-friending-letter.html

So as I was saying about being de-friended…
…I have been de-friended by people I have known for YEARS…these people are not just acquaintance’s …
…I KNOW these people. I know shit things about them that their new friends would be shocked to know!…and my “friends" would be mortified if their “new” friends found out.
…I’m not gonna call jack shit out about them though…
Know why?
…’Cause I’m cooler than that.

I am perplexed however as to why some of these people have de-friended me…
It’s not like I have changed in years…I am actually one person that hasn’t changed in years…well, I might be a bit more opinionated. That is because I have…obviously…lived…so far a full life.

Ok…I’ll admit I’m not that perplexed.
I’m a bit?, somewhat?, very outspoken.
…Ok…VERY outspoken…and I swear a lot.
But I have shit things to say.

No matter how often I am told I am offensive I don’t think of it that way…
…I’m just telling the very hard to hear truth in plain speak.
…Subjects from…
…sex
…divorce
…cheating
…to my love of Wasabi Doritos…
It’s just my life I share…you don’t have to read about it if you don’t want to…but then you would not get the unfettered truth about the world…
…Well, my fucked up screwed up world through my eyes...
…and soon I’m gonna start talking about Politics…and I will inevitably be de-friended some more.

Note…I know that it’s not really all about me sometimes. That some people just close their accounts or just like to clean up their friends list to those that they see on a local basis…that is not what its about to me though. I have said before I love to see your children grow and change…find out that you are finally in love…
…It’s where we share our lives with each other even though we haven’t seen each other for years…and can chat, comment, share or like if we want!

Please stop de-freinding me.
It’s giving me a complex.

Oh, and when I see that short person woman at the school that de-friended F1, F2 and myself…I’m still stumped as to what I am going to say to her…
…’cause I will say something…and I will not use a filter.

Wasabi Doritos

I love Wasabi Doritos…
No…I am IN Love with them and simultaneously Love them.

I refuse to deny it…and profess this publicly.

Sometimes I like to lick them gathering all the salty spiciness on my tongue.
Then I like to take them into my mouth all at once gently and slowly pressing them up against the roof of my mouth with my tongue making them undeniable mine as I swallow them into me.

They have more depth of flavor than any other chip I’ve ever had…

...A corny center...
...Smeared in a layer of green...
…And breakable…
…Yet Edgy still…
…They don’t judge me…
…They love me quietly back…
…They get me all excited in a way no chip has ever done before…
…They me calm when I’m stressed…
…There Intensity mystifies and captivates me...
…They are so mentally stimulating I have write about them!…
…Even my children love them...

I don’t mind sharing them with my Children but I don’t like to share them with anyone else...

Some people might say…
…”But they aren’t good for you."
I don’t care.
I love them.

Are We Entitled To Friends?

Yesterday as I was accomplishing nothing…unless sitting on my sofa watching Bridezillas can count as something…

I saw/heard something that bothered me…Ok, the whole thing bothered me.

YES….I admit it…I was watching Bridezillas!
Have you ever seen it?
I don’t watch it often but when I do I feel like one of the nicest, most considerate people in the world.
These women infuriate me.

Note…Don’t judge my T.V. watching choices. Keep in mind that I sit and type for hours and hours and only some of what I type I post. Plus Dr. Who or Top Gear weren’t on.

So some back story if you’ve never seen the show…and no..this blog is NOT just about this show.
The show follows two Women Trainwrecks days before and leading up to their wedding.
These Women Bitches think they are entitled to anything and everything they desire all because they are ‘having a wedding’. Please note that I didn’t say, 'Getting married’.
Their focus is to create havoc for everyone around them all because they think they are the most important person in the world…and…
... “it’s the most important day of their life.”
Anyone that has been married knows it’s not the wedding…it’s the marriage that should be the focus…not their nails and having Bridesmaids be at their beck and call for ridiculous errands and queries just so they can feel ‘special’.

Now that I have said that…
…The sense of Entitlement some have exacerbates me.

Are we entitled to Friends…
...if we treat them badly?

I’m not a perfect Friend.

Sometimes I spout out advice when none was asked for...
My Friends roll their eyes often at me.
F9 would ask for my advice but didn’t like my answers and would get pissed at me.
I lost F9 as a Friend.
Tonight as I chilled with F69 at her house I said…
…”If you ever want to move your furniture around in here…I’d love to help.”
She’s cool…she knows I love shit things like that.

I’m a bit of a homebody and don’t always like to go out...
My Girl Friends know I usually spend my weekend nights alone and invite me over often. I don’t always take them up on it. Oddly it took a long time to get used to being alone by myself. I’m finally ok and comfortable with it and welcome it.

My Friends know that I will not offer something I don’t mean...
Child care for-instance…
...I have my Children only half the time…if my Children are not here I would have no clue what to do if you dropped yours off. However if my Children are here whats, 1, 2, 5 or 6 more? Strangely it makes no difference to me when my Children are home.

I also won’t say something I don’t mean…
This means that if I give someone…ANYONE a compliment it is not empty…I fucking mean it.

I’m now gonna go off on a bunny trail…
…because
My friends…
…Are one of the greatest gifts anyone could have.
If you live here or there...

My Friends here in CO…to quote my Brother from another Mother…
SF15…’We moved here to meet you.’
I think it was the other way around…

F4 once…at the last minute watched my 3 Children so I could go on a casting call. I dropped them off in the evening and picked them up the NEXT evening…she never once asked anything from me. Thank’s H F4…
…one day I will pay you back…

My Old School Friends that I haven’t seen in years…We talk and grow together as we reminisce and learn that no matter how much we didn’t/or did have in common then…Now we are the same, living parallel lives.

My Jollylicous/Military Friends that stuck by me after my Marriage disintegrated…
…My REAL Friends…that didn’t Judge me…or him.
…You not once changed the dynamics.

My Really, Really OLD friends from long, long ago…that support me in my quest…I swear y’all live either in Canada, Barbados or the UAE!

My Sisters that I once just considered Cousins…life handed you a fucking miss-dealed hand…You are Stefania and My Sister’s now…and with that closer Friends as well.

…I don’t always know that I deserve the friends I have but I do know I am blessed YOU are in my life.
You are THE most non-judgmental, loving, beautiful, funny, wise people a Woman could have to love and support her…
…One day I would like to give you what you have given me.

I really could go on and on and on…and I will…but not here…

I didn’t bring this Shit to full circle this time…don’t care either. Hop, hop, hop I went on a bunny trail;) (Yes, that was for you...)

Divorce: Pro’s and Con’s

Yes, the idea of divorce is a scary. 

I’ve been there done that.

Does it make me an expert?

Yes…

…because I am living proof of a successful, happy divorce.
I’m speaking for myself only. I have no idea if my Ex is happy.
…I do know that had I not taken the steps to remove myself from my toxic marriage my Ex would be a widower. 

Weighing the Pro’s and Con’s…

A.You’re are spiting up your family and afraid you will harm your Children…

There are many schools of thought on this and mine is the only one that matters because I’m right…the others are just wrong.

These are some of the very bad and retarded mentally slow schools of thoughts…that are ruining people and making them second guess themselves as they go slowly insane in a prison of their own making…or one of their spouses making...
1. Some people suggest you should stay married for your children and you are being selfish.
2. There is no such thing as a ‘good’ divorce.
3. Children will grow up and be un-happy and un-successful in relationships because the come from divorced families.


My answer to these retarded mentally slow schools of thought is simple.
It’s better for Children to grow up in a broken home fixed relationship. Where two people can finally admit they were not meant for each other. That way the Children can note and observe a HEALTHY relationship as opposed to a toxic one.
In time they will understand that marriage is complicated and be proud that their parents were smart enough to achieve that which is so looked down upon, a flourishing Divorce.

Note…Divorce is not a bad word for me…it’s a healthy one. I have noticed that since my divorced I have lost ‘friends’ but I know it’s their own loss and not mine.

B. One person will most likely be un-happy and you don’t hate them and wish them no ill  will...

It’s true divorce is not often approached as a democracy but is inclined to be suggested by one member.
The person on the ‘hurting’ end is almost always acting surprised…they had just been lying to themselves for years sometimes. The truth is the most painful thing to hear and admit to themselves.

This does NOT mean they will be un-happy forever. They, with time and maybe a therapist WILL get over it. If they don’t get over it you have to know that it’s THEM NOT YOU that are the source of their unhappiness.

Note…If you are on the outside looking ‘in’ and think it’s the fault of ONE person YOU are wrong. I take a ownership in my own failed marriage and know that I was half the problem. So wake the fuck up. There is nothing for you to judge.

Note to the note…I am obviously not discussing physically abusive relationships. We all know that when one person is physically abused they need to get the fuck out as soon as they can... and we can judge those mother-fuckers people all we want.

C. Finances…

 In this day and age almost everyone is having financial issues…married or not.
My suggestion is to use a Financial Mediator. It doesn’t matter if you have cashola or not...
I have one I highly recommend to people here in Colorado Springs.
http://www.denisatova.com/contact.asp

I have a few things to say now…
There are some people who want to get divorced but haven’t grown a set of balls as big as mine yet. I worry about their sanity.
I have helped and hindered relationships. I must admit this…the hindered part. I know that my view on life is abstract to some but to me it’s just the plain old fucking truth that others can not admit to.
I am a steadfast believer in MARRIAGE. One that is filled with Truth, Honesty, Friendship, RESPECT, Love and lot’s and lot’s of amazing sex.
In the end all I want is for you to be Happy…but that’s another blog...

Note…I realize this is a crappy pro and con comparison and I could and probably will do better and think of more reasons for the “Pro’s and Con’s”….that’s for my book though...

When Life Gives You Lemons

You know that saying…
…”When life gives you lemons add some tequila and salt.”…

Note…It’s lime’s, not lemon’s that most adults people prefer for their Tequila shots.

Or…
…”When life gives you lemons make lemonade.”
…”When life gives you lemons make lemonade and just add Vodka.”

Note…that last one is a favorite of My F’s and Me...

I saw a friend of mine’s post this AM…
…”When life gives you lemons just start tossing them at people.”

Have you ever had one of those days that you just felt like a whole fucking Lemon tree has fallen on top of you?
Or that someone else saw that post about tossing Lemons at people and decided to do just that and You didn’t duck in time?

We’ve all had these kind of Days, Months and some of us even Years.
It’s hard to look at everything in a positive manner when everything sucks ass and not in the good ass sucking kinda way.

That bitter taste that is left in your mouth when the shit hits the fan and it’s whipping smelly crap all around and you have no idea how on earth you are gonna clean it up nothing seems to be going right and you see no fix in sight…

I have some of my own sayings…

A…”Know your audience.”
B…”Someone else always has it worse off.”

Note…these two go hand in hand for me…

Before you start tossing lemons at people…
…If you know them…Evaluate what you know about them…should you really complain to them that you are having a difficult time with stupid shit mundane things if the person you are talking to has a spouse that’s been deployed for months?
…If you do not know them…perhaps someone threw a lemon at you and you have decided to throw it back at some innocent bystander…Do the world a favor…quickly make up a back story, a pretend one…Imagine a scenario where they just went through something dreadful. Do you really want to be an ass the person to throw a lemon just because you think it will make you feel better?

C…”I’ve got this.”

This has several meanings...
I have to say this in my head so often it redonkulous preposterous.
1. I am either put in situations or I PUT myself in situations that sometimes need to be dealt with in the oddest manner…
…”I’ve got this."
2. It also means that no matter what or how many lemons are thrown at me...I know I can handle it.
…”I’ve got this.”
Sometimes it means…
3. ”I love you so much I’ll move heaven and earth for you.”
…”I’ve got this."

D…”Just stand on the kitchen counter…you/I need a different perspective.”

I have done this numerous times. It has a two fold effect…
#1. I can see dust that I have previously over looked, due to the fact that I am only 5.7, that my tall  friends have been kind enough to not embarrass me about.
#2. To look at something from another perspective can add clarity where you may not have realized you lacked it.

…………….
Awesomely I wrote all this, this morning…not a FUCKING Lemon in site...
Then this after noon as I was getting my hair done…
...I had a Lemon tree dumped on top of me…
But you know what…
I said to the Un-Holy Trinity that makes up Me, Myself and I…
…”Don’t get your panties in a wad. You’ve got this!”
Then when I got home I stood on my kitchen counter for a new perspective…
…I’m now going to clean the top of my nasty ass refrigerator and then get one of my cleaning brushes and take care of some of my kitchen grout.
…And I am NOT the most important person in the world and my want’s/need’s and feelings will again, go on the back burner…I’m just afraid they will evaporate there with time.

I will now refer to Letter B above...

Vaccinations Harmful Or Helpful?

I started writing about Peanut allergies and got majorly side tracked as I did my research…

Note…I’m good at researching things and because of it and my experiences on this planet I know a lot of things…some of them useful others not so much.

What has vexed me so is an article by, Lawrence Wilson MD
the title of the article is…
…Vaccination-A Medical Abomination
http://www.drlwilson.com/articles/VACCINES.08.htm


Please read the above article if you desire but then you need to read what I… the Un-Holy Trinity that IS Me, Myself and I, Kristin has to say!

I do not have a MD after my name…but I am in no way less intelligent than someone with one!
I DO believe I have more common sense than this Wilson character has, that is for damn sure…

If you really believe Vaccinations are the cause of all our ills you’ve never been to a third world country and witnessed the pain of parents as they watch their children wither and sometimes die from…
…Typhoid
…SmallPox
…Diphtheria
…Polio
…because their Children were not vaccinated and exposed to others with said diseases.

He, Wilson, has loads and loads of crap layered on to some shit about why you shouldn’t vaccinate yourself or your children.

Note…I know that was a very mature sentence…

I re-read it and re-read it again. The last thing I want to do is look like an asshole not knowing what I am talking about.

Lets say you didn’t vaccinate your children because you are a retard mentally slow. You are going through the airport, lets say Hartsfield International in ATL, with your un-vaccinated children…
…Passerbyers all around you…inhaling, exhaling coughing and hacking…
…Later the next week your un-vaccinated child is at the play ground and sees some cute little baby and plays…
…”coochy, coochy, coo…”
…A week later that poor baby who isn’t old enough to be vaccinated gets SmallPox and dies because you and your asshole self didn’t realize until it was to late that your child had SmallPox.
Should you be responsible for your un-responsible behavior and held accountable for a death that need not have occurred? Just sayin’...

Now I will say I DO know that in SOME instances after someone is vaccinated there are complications and sometimes death occurs.

Guess what?!
We are trying to eradicate diseases and you are not helping…but actually hurting society.

Guess what else?!
It’s quite a bit more dangerous to get in a car with your child than to Vaccinate them…and you do it ALL the time!
I can’t say that loud enough to be honest.

If you read the article…
...I have news for Wilson Md, none of my 3 Children had prenatal care, they have all been Vaccinated AND I don’t force vegetable down their throats…AND I make them drink…get this...TAP WATER!
They don’t have Autism or ADHD either.
They are actually quite bright and healthy.

Seriously I feel like I sound like a raving lunatic again because common sense dictates to me that some of these…new diagnoses have always existed just with no name.

If you don’t agree with common sense that’s OUR problem and you are putting people at risk by potentially spreading diseases that need not occur.

I know people that do not vaccinate their Children and I still like these people.
You can throw articles and studies galore at me about why you should not Vaccinate your Children and there will be articles and studies to throw back…
…But when people get their minds set on something they believe in and become so passionate about it they loose sight of the bigger picture and are pretending to live in a world where they know best.
That is their foolish choice that is harmful to the rest of us.

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/02/autism-and-vaccines.html

I’m actually gonna go on and on about this but not for my blog…for my book.

The Progression Of My Knee

December 17th, 2010 I was involved in a JuJitsu accident while belt testing.
I tore my ACL, MCL and Meniscus in my right knee.
As I laid on the mat the first thought I had was…
…”I feel like the most mature woman in the world right now…I have my own health insurance.”
…I also knew that even with insurance I was going to be out several thousands of dollars in fees and I was grateful I had some savings.

I had other thoughts as well…
…Because I knew I would be fine…I was concerned for Shihan John’s and Sensei Eric’s thought’s. Shihan doesn’t know me well…I have trained mostly in the smaller school with Sensei Eric, who does know me well.
There was no way they could know that I thought of it in the sense of…
…’I’m gonna go on an adventure…”

I also saw it as in my screwed up brain…
…A right of passage.

The other students helped me get home and my Instructors and the Students checked in on me often.

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2010/12/eliminate-threat-change-focus.html

I wrote the above blog before testing…

I had my surgery on January 31, 2011.

I’d like to thank that dead person for signing up to be on organ donor…
...for without this person…
…I wouldn’t have an ACL.
Holes were drilled into my bones and my donated ACL was screwed in.

The muscles in my once very nice right leg quickly melted into nothing.

I can’t kick, turn, twist or have heavy jolts at all to my knee still.
I can’t even wear any of my fabulous shoes.
I was just, last month, emancipated from the constraints of what had become one of my best friends…my leg brace. Which I had to wear in public and around Children.
My Doc. told me last month knowing how frustrated I have been that…
…”It’s going to take at least a year.”
His honesty was something I didn’t want to hear but I am accepting.
Slowly but surely they will release me so I will be able to participate in the activities I enjoy.

I see my Physical Therapist Terrorist weekly…he’s my friend and my Redheaded wonder.
He rolls the side of my leg and massages it behind my knee. Sometimes I’m brought to the brink of tears.
He also watches me move as I do the workouts he has instructed me to do.
The people I see on a daily basis know that the healing process has been a little more physically painful than I let on publicly.
Sometimes, I hope my Doc. doesn’t read this!…’Cause he’s also my friend…
…when I’m on my feet for an extended amount of time I limp. I try not to, but it hurts. It hurts even when I’m not active and just sitting here while I type away.
It always aches and sometimes...
It feels like…
...a hundred different needles have been inserted into various places in my leg.
I want my pain meds back in the worst way…but I can take it.
The Marines have a saying…
…”Pain is weakness leaving the body.”
At times I think I might be the strongest woman in the world, able to leap tall buildings and such and what have you…but I’m not allowed to jump.

I have worked hard to gain back my muscles and I almost look normal again…almost. My leg no longer looks like a large onion with two lanky roots...

…Enough about that…

Now for some picture of the progression of one knee that was once described by my Doc. as…
…"Mashed Potatoes."

<—My leg after my accident.



My knee after surgery—>

<—The deep bruising ran and pooled all the way to my feet eventually. I still have some bruises remaining in my shin.

I had to keep my bandages dry. So I wrapped my leg in Press and Seal.






The bandages came off slowly—>




I have 5 new scars that I am proud of now.





<—My leg brace did not hinder my going out with my friends.
…and no one could see that I didn’t have a pretty leg under my brace.

I took a lot of courage, being as vain as I am, to eventually venture out in public without my brace and in shorts.




This is my electrical stimulation…—>
I get to control the amount of stimulation . I made it a bit of a game to see how high I could take it. I took it to 200…then decided 165 was my ‘comfort’ point.

You can see that my leg looks almost normal now.



It has been an adventure for sure...one that I would not change.

JuJitsu Belt Testing is this week and I can’t partake in the ‘festivities of pain’…One day in the next, hopefully couple of months, I’ll make it back to class so I can Train, Learn and Earn my next level belt…with the goal to be an Ass Kickin’ Bitchin' Wiccan.

I’ll also be able to run, dance, jump around like a fool, kick, turn, twist and wear fabulous shoes.

OSU!

Fuck. What Does It Really Mean?

Fuck=to make love=to have sex
It means the above and SO much fucking more to me though.

The word Fuck is maybe one of THE most fucking offensive words in the English language…and how fucking fun it is!
Some of my compatriots have never even uttered it…
…I think they are fucking chicken shits…joke, they aren’t...They just have more fucking couth than me.

I love the word fuck and use it often.

My readers know, that by fucking accident of course, I have taught my Children to swear…just by being in the same fucking vicinity as Me.

It’s not a ‘Bad’ word to me…
...to me…it’s…
…a fucking exclamation point sometimes...
…!!!!…

…it can also mean...

Me…"Ah Fhuuuck”
…Said in an exacerbated way means…
…”That did not work out the way I planned.”

Note...With less  fucking words…I’m saving the  fucking world from my overly fucking wordy ways…come on haven’t you  fucking noticed how fucking wordy I really am? I really like the sound of my own fucking obnoxious voice. I probably talk and type more fucking shit out because not only do I think I’m one of the funniest fucking people on the planet but because I’m such a fucking narcissist I think you fucking want to hear and read what I have to fucking say!

Me…”FUCK!”
…Said loudly and angrily it means…
…”Shit, Damn, Son Of a Bitch…That hurt like a mother Fucker!”
With less words…

…Or…

…”Get out of the left lane now asshole or I’m gonna ram my Uber Cool MiniVan into your stupid Prius…can’t you see I’m busy speeding here?!”


Me…”Fuck…”
…Obviously said quietly…
…”I can not BELIEVE what a retard mentally slow person I am…I just I texted that to my Ex. That was meant for someone else…SHIT! Stupid ass phone!!!”…
…’Cause it’s the phone’s fault, not mine.

Me…”Fuck.”
…Said in a medium cool tone…
…”I can’t believe I came all this way, to second worst mall in Colorado Springs and forgot my wallet.”

Me…”Fhhhuuuuccckkkkkk”
…”I’m gonna look like an idiot yet again. I can’t believe I forgot that Birthday party…Why do I always forget this shit? I really need to get my fhshizzle organized.”

Me…”Fuck Yeah!!!!”
…Said loudly and proudly…
…”Damn I’m good. I can’t believe what a genius i AM!!!!”

Note…I’m still waiting for fucking Mensa to knock on my fucking  door…I think I’ll be waiting for a another fucking lifetime now that I have just fucking blogged about the word fuck.

Me…”Oooooooh Fhhhuuuuuck!”
…Said in a breathy tone…
…”Oh my Gods that feels amazing…Please…Don’t…Stop…”

Me…"Fuck Me”
…This one is said in various ways and has a plethora of meanings…

…”Really? This is what my life has become?”

…”Would ya’ll just PLEASE leave me alone…Damn this is already one long summer and we are only into the third week!”

…Or…

…”Fuck me.”…
...Plain and simple…straight forward no messin' around here we are 2 consenting adults lets take our clothes off and slap some uglies get our groove on!!!

I’m sure I could fucking break it down further…and I will…but you will one day, when I am fucking published, have to break out your fucking wallet and BUY my fucking book, as soon as I’m fucking published, or fucking PAY to see me talk in fucking person…and I will just have started on my fucking way to World Domination!…
…Because that will just be the fucking beginning!

Note…If I have offended you…take your fucking panties off they’re in a fucking wad…I am the Un-Fucking-Holy Trinity that makes Me, My fucking Self and I…Kristin!

My Shitty Parenting Advice

I’ve been a Mom for 9 and 1/2 loud, frustrating, lively years…years filled with scraped knees, sobbing eyes, tomfoolery and poop recovery.

I prepared for parenthood for 7 very disheartening years in my ultimate goal to be a Mother.

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2010/11/adoption-yes-i-have-serious-side.html

How I became a Mother though is neither here nor there…Because the Judge said they are Mine...All MINE!!!…

Our jobs as parents is to teach our Children how to be good, independent, productive members of society.

I don’t understand the Helicopter Mom’s (I’m NOT referring to MY Helicopter Mom’s…you Jollylicious Women) or the ones that fill their Children’s schedules so they have no time to be a Child.
They will grow up one day and their lives will be filled with mandatory things to do and places to be…

My Children have a soccer game once a week, thankfully they are all on the same team this year. They also have piano lessons...once a week.
Music is mandatory fun in our world.
…As are Justin Bieber dance parties.

It’s summer right now and do you know how they fill there time?

I make them play outside.

Note…My daughter just walked past me, behind her back she is hiding something…
Me…”What are you doing?”
Her…”Making a mud pie.”
Me…”Oh, well don’t get to dirty we have to go grocery shopping.”

Always wear a helmet.

They climb trees, run around aimlessly, play 1, 2, 3 Not IT!…

They burn their names in to sticks with a magnifying glass…




They tie garbage cans to skateboards to ride down my hill...

She forgot her helmet

They play like children should.
They argue, they fight, they even play War.








It’s also our job as Parents to teach them everything we know…

At a very young age I taught them a couple things…
1.
Me…”What do I know?”
Them…”Everything.”

Note…I lied to them. They have caught on.

2.
Them…”Thanks Mom your the best.”

Note…that is how they have to thank me…it’s always in an exacerbated tone…but it makes ME happy.

…but what if what you were best at was pissing people off, swearing and spinning magical spells?!

BWHhhahahahhahhahhaa!!!!

When my middle Child, Love Bug, was 5 and in Kindergarten he had to write about…
…”The one thing you are not allowed to do in your house.”
To the dismay of his teacher he wrote…

…’The one thing you are not allowed to in our house is say the word FUCK.’
Along with his words was a self portrait and a bubble emanating from his mouth with the word, FUCK!

I’m not a traditional Mother.

I have taught them how to swear proficiently…by accident.

Her…”How old do we have to be to swear?”
Me…”17”
Her to her brothers…”Ha! Ha! I’m allowed to swear before Youooo.”-in a sing song voice.

Sometimes I feel bad for other parents…My Children are the ones that teach yours on the playground everything they have learned from me…My Bad. I don’t care though really.
They are just verbal exclamation points.

This is my Daughter Fav. book

I let my Daughter wear what ever she wants. She is so much like me it is absurd! She is 1/2 boy 1/2 gothic chick. I buy her almost exclusively black or dark clothes because that is what she likes. I don’t make her wear dresses or bows in her hair. She picks her shoes and coats out from the boys section because she likes the selection better.

I’m not in charge of my Children on Sundays unless my Ex. is out of town, because he is in charge of their ‘Religious Instruction’. What ever I teach them every convoluted thing I know about religions. I teach them songs in Hebrew, about Buddha, Islam, all aspects of Christianity and Wicca too.

They crack me up about the Witch part. They like it.
They are always asking me to ride my broom.
Me…”If I’m gonna ride something it’s not gonna be a broom.”
It’s still over their sweet little heads.
They wont grow up scared, frightened and judgmental about others beliefs.

I don’t have a Wii.
I have one television…not even a flat screen.
They are not allowed to watch it but for an hour or so a day.
They are allowed to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
They DO each have a Ds though...

We eat dinner at the table and discuss the good and bad parts of the day. We call it…
…”Good parts bad parts.”
The other Children in our ‘hood’ who often join us for dinner also take part in this ritual.
I don’t make them eat vegetables if they don’t want. I figure I see what they eat…they’re getting all the nutrients they need as far as I can tell…and well, my ‘little guy’ is not gonna waste away any time soon.
Chocolate and Candy are special treats…
…as is soda.
Homemade fruit breads are a norm…as is homemade jams.
If you are thirsty get a drink of water from the tap…
…no you can’t have juice…if you want something fruity eat a piece of fruit!

On to Poop removal…

Years of changing diapers I thought I was done. However with boys that like to fill the toilet tank with idiotic amounts of toilet paper I can un-clog a toilet…lickity split! STS!!!

This picture was taken last week ———>

I know you’re thinking she’s disgusting! Why on earth would someone take a picture of that? Well…I’m a writer I knew it would come in ‘handy’.

If you see me coming out of the grocery store. I won’t have those re-usable bags…I NEED the plastic ones so I can layer 3 to 4 of them. I stick my hand in them grab the paper... ‘cause no way that ‘shit’ is gonna all flush… with more bags standing by…

Enough about poop…

This advise is for one of my sisters who is about to POP!

No baby ever died from crying.

No matter how old your Children are…as long as they are Children keep them on a good schedule for bed…
…for 2 reasons
1.
Children thrive with a good bed time routine.
2.
You will have more quiet time for yourself.

A bandaid can fix almost anything.

It’s only dirt and washes off.

If you are never away from them…you can’t miss them.

Note…I think THE most IMPORTANT thing about parenting is to be honest with them when they come to you with a question. They will, or should, look to you for counsel in all aspects of their lives.
You are NOT their Friend…you can be their Friend when they grow up.

 I think that’s enough ‘shitty parenting advice ‘ for now.

Ps
I love my Mom and Dad. They taught me everything I know and gave me the greatest Childhood you could have dreamt...
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/02/reel-to-reel.html

My Friends Struggle With Her Ex And Herself

I’d like to share a story of a woman who I thought had made leaps and bounds with her Ex-Husband. This is a couple I know well. I knew them while they were married. I am even closer to her now.

I have nothing against her Ex-Husband. He is a GREAT Father and honestly, he treats my friend congenial...now that they are divorced.

The other day I joined her to watch her Children play in one of their sporting events. The Children’s Father is the head Coach and he has an assistant Coach, one that was appointed to him. The Asst. Coach is a woman that he would not normally socialize with.

Note…
The Ex will be ’S’
My friend will be ‘C'
The Asst. Coach will be ‘L’

C and I are sitting on a blanket watching the game. The sun showing itself periodically from behind the fast moving clouds. The winds were bursting open thick and fast at times raising the dust from a trail near by…the grass was gentle and comfortable, kelly green in colour…

We are cheering away as the Children play…cheering for both teams as they are all working hard. Half Time arrives and the Asst. Coach, L, right in front of us , approaches, S, and asks him a question with concerns to one of the Children.

Note…There is a back story I am told, but sincerely, it is irrelevant. It wasn’t what the argument was about but how S, dealt with it.

L and S are quarreling. I look over at C and she can’t take her eyes off them. I am watching all this go down. I can see that C’s eyes are welling up and I imagine her heart is aching for L. S has a skill to make someone feel inferior, foolish and wrong. He did this to C for years. I suppose it was unknowingly, at least that’s what I want to believe. C now has a skill of her own, to hide her feelings in the deepest hollow of her soul. I know she wants to let it all out.

I want to talk to C about this but don’t want to do it till after the game. I don’t want to upset her and I know she is a proud woman who doesn’t want people to know how much she was hurt.

The game ends and I am talking to the children telling them how well they played. I see C talking to L…I can’t wait to find out what was said.

Now we are in the car. C’s Children are with her Ex so we are able to talk freely.
Me…”You ok? What happened?”
C…”No, I’m not ok. Did you see L?!”
…”Did you notice how long she was gone after the ‘issue’?”
I had noticed that L had disappeared for quite a bit.

Me…”Wanna talk about it?”

C…”...All I wanted to do was get up and get in-between the two of them and protect her from those words. I know he didn’t say anything that could have been construed as mean or derogatory…it was the WAY he said it.
I let C go on and on…
..."I couldn’t get the fuck up, I was scared to death he would say something to me. My legs were like fucking jello. Does he know how much it hurts?! When I went over to talk to her I think she realized why he was my Ex husband. She said she had to get away because she was going to cry. All those years I put up with it…I really thought I could do it now…ya, know...Stand up for another woman and not let it happen to them. It was HIM though. I can’t tell you after so many years how often I would just shut down around him. I thought I was strong enough now. I feel like, not a failure, but holy shit I have a long way to go. I won’t let that happen again...”

I can see her in the future getting in a fight with someone now. She’s a bit passionate. She’s still learning but with each hurdle she seems to be able to jump higher.

Pajama Jeans and Shape shoes

I’m calling bullshit on both Pajama Jeans and Shape shoes.

Looking good and Fashion have always been part of my life…It needs to be part of yours as well.

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/03/inventory.html

They both make you look like a retard mentally slow person. If you didn’t know this and are wearing some now…well…I’m just trying to help in my quest to make MY LIFE BETTER by not having to look at YOU in them.

If you think you look good…you are in complete denial, and not all wet in Egypt with Crocodiles nipping at your toes.

First I’ll cover Pajama Jeans…




<————Is this YOU?
                  Do you look like this?
                

                       Is this YOU?———————>
                       Does your ass look like this?
                    


The whole point is to wear something comfortable that looks like jeans but are really leggings.

Note...I have and will in the future most likely wear leggings with my shirt tucked in…I CAN get away with it because I AM The Un-Holy Trinity that makes up Me, Myself and I, Kristin.

<——Me…with my shirt tucked into my leggings.





I will not wear Pajama jeans though. I wouldn’t even wear them in my home with my blinds drawn and doors locked!
…and you shouldn’t either.

Wanna be comfortable and look good? Wear a dress.

I put people that wear Pajama jean in the same category as the people that go shopping with their slippers on.

Note…Some of us Mothers in a rush to get our Children to school will wear our Pajamas and slippers as we race to the school…I have been known to do this myself…This is NOT the same as shopping at WalMart in your slippers.

Now...throw those bitches away before it’s to late.
If you chose to keep them though I will no holds bar talk smack about them…Not to hurt your feeling because I am not only doing this for my own eyes but for you as well.

I’m trying to help YOU!


Now on to those shape up shoes…



Please take note of the base of the shoe. It’s thick and curved…not to mention HIDEOUS!



They are meant to get you in shape quickly and easily as you walk around in them.

NEWSFLASH!!!
You look like a retard mentally slow person.
…AND…
The only way to get in shape is to move more, lift weights and eat a healthy diet!
There is no secret, fast way to get in shape.

I own a lot of shoes and boots. In my collection I have 7 pairs of ‘workout' shoes.
Lets say I’m in the loo (that’s a prettier word for toilet) at the gym. NO ONE will mistake me for an old lady with orthopedic looking shoes as they bend over to see if the stall is occupied or not.

These shoes have been know to cause injury to the people that wear them…because they fall over.

I’ll give you a tip on how to work on your ‘core’ that you can do in the comfort of your home...
...Instead of sitting on your ass while you watch T.V. Stand up but only on one leg and do leg lifts while alternating legs. Start with 3 reps of 15.
If you think you might fall...do it while standing next to a chair so if you think you are going to fall over you can grab on.

…Yes you may feel stupid at first but it will work and no one has to see you in your…

…”I’m cool ‘cause I think I’m gonna get in shape faster than you” …

…’cause you are NOT…you just look like a retard mentally slow person with foot problems who will fall over when I walk by you and push you over.

It Is Not Ok To Call Me A Retard

I saw a commercial the other day that frustrated me.
…
“…It’s not ok to call me a chink”
“…It’s not ok to call me a fag…”
“…It’s not ok to call me a retard…”
“…Don’t even use the word to describe yourself…” Paraphrasing here…thankfully I have only seen it once…I was offended by it.

“Every word has a fragrance: there is harmony and disharmony of fragrances and hence of words.” -Neitzsche

Well I smell something bad.

I’m not saying it’s nice to call someone a retard, you should phrase it this way…
…”You are acting retarded.”
If someone is miffed by this then they are acting retarded.
It’s the same thing as saying…
…”You are acting mentally slow.”

Perhaps you received a drunk text and couldn’t read it because it was an incomprehensible mess…
…”You were acting like a retard mentally slow person.”

Perhaps you just polished your toes and the paint is still tacky and you put closed toe shoes on…
…”I’m so retarded such a mentally slow person.”

Perhaps you are a blogger and are thinking to yourself…’That swimSuit blog has had a lot of hits…I wonder how I can get more pics of me in SwimSuits and blog about it.”…
…”Holy crap I am retarded mentally slow."
Perfectly acceptable don’t you think?

You get the gist.

The word retard means…slow
People really are medically retarded…they are slower than an average person…mentally.

Many words like “niggardly” have been morphed by people acting retarded mentally slow…or they misinterpret words because they are acting retarded mentally slow…
The word niggardly means "not generous or stingy". It has absolutely nothing to do with the word…
...Nigger…which is a another word that was morphed from the French and Spanish words for the colour black.
Niggardly per the Urban Dictionary…"word that will get you fired even though it means nothing offensive."
I’m not Black. I’m an official African American though. Should I find offense when people aren’t from Africa and call themselves African American?

Wow I digress!
My bad…

…The power of the word is mighty and causes hurt and pain but only if you let it.

I’ve been called…
…a whore (I admit…I really do like sex)
...a bitch (just means a female dog)
...a fag (just a British term for a cigarette)
...a retard (a mentally slow person)
...an Ass (I had a pet donkey growing up)
...a cunt (Yes, I do have one…and I’ll C U Next Tuesday!),

Whatever…not a damn one hurt me…

“Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will NEVER hurt me!"

If you are offend by ANY of this…You are an idiot, acting like a retard mentally slow person…and you are stupid.

One day do you think we will not be allowed to use the word stupid because some stupid person got their panties in a wad?

Note…In a past blog about Autism and Vaccines I covered a little bit about the word “Retard”. I do understand that it offends people…but I worry about societies cock block ever controlling need to restrain peoples use of words...

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/02/autism-and-vaccines.html

SwimSuits…Shopping And Pictures!

SwimSuit Shopping…
It might be THE most loathed event a woman goes through…!
Even if you have, what is perceived by others, a rocking’ Bod.

I’m going to Vegas with my girl-friends in August. I would like a new SwimSuit.
Sunday I put the "shout out” on FB to see if any one wanted to come with me on this, what I assumed would be...a catastrophe.

Note…I have no shame, this is documented. I don’t care what others think of me or my actions…
…and I wanted to give readers an insight into what plays out when me and my Peeps go adventuring out.

I get to F1's house and say…
Me…”Do you have any Grannie Panties…I need them for a stupid photo op. You know your Period underpants or something absolutely ridiculous.”
F1…”Not really, lets check…”
She had a pair of old worn out what used to probably be white but is now ecru?, cream?…which the fabric had been worn out and the elastic was showing. Perfect!
I stuffed them in my purse…my Kate Spade;)

Note…My own period Panties are black, so they just wouldn’t do.

We get on the road again to get F69 + friend and F15 is meeting us.
We rock out in my Uber cool MiniVan as we drive to “The second worst mall in Colorado Spring.”

Note…If you have a smart phone and check in on FB…that one is ours…

We prance into Macys loud and obnoxious. We are their worst nightmare.

We peruse the SwimSuits.
I’m looking for something sexy with little fabric.

Note...I have a theory about SwimSuits on my body…through my body dysmorphic eyes the more skin I have showing I think nobody will notice the cellulite or various other issues I don’t like about my body.

Me…”Holy Shit! They are all old lady styles.”

You know the ones I’m talking about…the ‘dresses’ and skorts that women wear to hide their most uncomfortable places. I feel their insecurity.

Me…”Amy, (New friend) can you hold this for a sec?”
F69…”Her name is not Amy.”
Me…”Oh fuck…I just called her Amy.”
Me…”We should call her on my blog ‘Friend Who’s Not Named Amy!’ and shorten it to ‘FWNNA’!”
Laughter ensues…more people, not having fun, leer at us.

F15 shows up while I’m in the dressing room.

Please note the awesome underpants!

I walk out in all my splendor, people all around trying not to stare at The Un-Holy Trinity, Me, Myself and I.
The men that are with their spouses are trying not to let said spouses see them gawking at me.

<——— This suit had to much fabric and would leave odd tan lines but i REALLY liked it. Thought it was sexy Fo Sho. I put it on hold.

Isn’t F15 cute!

I’m not the only one trying things on…
F15 is one of my shoppin’ buds and an amazingly smart woman…she brings home the bacon…I’m not sure who cooks it though…her or her adorable husband that likes to “Chipotle Booty Call” me for lunch while she’s busy.

<---I try on another number. I’m maybe 116 lbs and 5/7…I can even have muffin top though. YUCK!

…after a quick unsuccessful surveillance of the shoe department we decide to move on out to Dillards…

We get a little side tracked in Buckle. F69 doesn’t know a stranger…She always finds someone she knows…and I always know their Spouse!
F69’s friend is trying on jeans and wants an honest answer. I got that one! When trying on jeans a 3 way mirror is of the utmost importance….or you better have honest people around you. It’s the pocket placement that makes all the difference. Too low and your ass looks saggy.
I hope F69’s friend bought the ones I told her to.

While we are footing it around the Second Worst Mall In Colorado Springs... F15 has removed from her purse (that I was with when she bought said purse) a pair of flip flops…she a professional shopper!

At the entrance of Dillards there is a random skeleton. No lie!

This is my Onesie

We hit the shoe department first. Dillards has a better selection than Macys, always!

Several friends need a bathroom break…we split up…I don’t need one.

FWNNA and I are looking for the SwimSuits...
FWNNA…”Oh, I think they are over here.”——>

NOPE! A bunch of dresses NOBODY should be caught dead in! … and then more fun commences!

While we are gathering dresses to try on…I am walkin’ around the lowest floor trying to text my friend. Holding my phone high as my skinny arms allow scanning for reception. Resending and resending…Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?…
Me…”Holy Shit the reception sucks down here!”
I said it loud and clear…reception FOUND! I love getting my way.

The people around us were annoyed to say the least. Do they not know how to have fun and live?


















We finally find the SwimSuit department…F15…
I love her…I love the shit she’s picking up!

There is no way on the Gods green earth her boobies would be remotely covered…
...maybe she should get them…
…We are going to Vegas after all…

Note…The dress she is wearing kept slipping down, to the dismay of the Men around us she had a tube top under.



The SwimSuit selection was again disappointing so Victorias Secret it is…

On the way F69 has a thirsting for an Orange Julius…
Me…”What the hell IS an Orange Julius?”
FWNNA…”I don’t know either. What is the big deal?”

F1 and I hit the jack pot in Victorias Secret…

I bought this one.

<——it’s not a flattering pic of me but damn F1 looks fucking amazing!

Please don’t ask me what I’m doing.

Sales person…”You can’t take pictures in here.”

We had already taken a ton. Whatever, we are going to do what we want.


F69 was getting her Orange Julius and hadn’t seen the Suits in person…
I’m at the counter paying for my SwimSuit.
F69…”Can I see a pic.”
Salesperson…”You can’t take pictures in here.”
Me…”I know.”
F69 to Me in front of the SalesGirl…”Oh…just show them to me when we get outside.”
The SalesGirl face was sadly drawn and shocked.

Note…An Orange Julius is a fucking creamsicle in a cup…and delicious.

On the way home, several hours later, we decide that Sundays are shopping days…next week T.J.Maxx one of our favorite shopping stops.
The week after that we are going closet shopping hopping!

I actually like walking around in a SwimSuit. I know my body is not perfect but it’s good for me to accept and share my imperfections. I hope people see me and think…’if she can do it, I can too.’

<—This is my FB profile pic right now.





<—This is a pic of me from last year. I use it as the Profile pic for “Yeah I’m hot and I drive a minivan, ‘cause I’m cool like that.”
One of my several sites on FaceBook that I created.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Yeah-Im-Hot-and-I-drive-a-MiniVan-cause-Im-cool-like-that/115555381804568




This is the pic I just chose for my new Fan Site on FB——————>
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Un-Holy-Trinity-Me-Myself-and-I/177690712284325





Oh…F1 sent me a text later that evening…
…’You can throw away those underwear…I don’t need them back.'

A Love Affair Through Time

The light that is Amelius looked at the souls that were procured from dimensional realms. They were revealing themselves with the power of creativity. As time went on chaos ensued.
Amelius judged these beings and they were to be made physical.

Many of these beings had come to know love and knew they would have no say in their placement on this planet. Far and wide they would be deposited, from the Gobi to the Carpathian Mountains, to Continent of Africa, to Atlantis and Lumuria.

Note…Constantine took out a lot…Who says the above wasn’t in the Bible?! That’s a rhetorical question.
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/01/constantinenot-keanu-reeves.html

These light beings that were cognizant of love bewitched themselves unto each other at the beginning of the new time. Manifesting the sum of all they desired.
A spell for eternity meeting in lives of past, not knowing the future foretold and taking each breath of the now and living to the fullest.

They are what we call Soul Mates but they are incomparable to the Soul Mates that people today declare themselves to be to one another.

Love is a Magic all beings long for. Young and Old souls equally.

A Young Souls love is almost as pure as the Soul Mates. They have passion the when they embrace. There is the twinkle when they gaze.

The difference though is...
The Oldest Souls hunt lifetimes anticipating a glimpse, then a touch when the opportunity presents itself to be together.
When they can’t find their Mates, one of their Real ones…they settle.
…Aching and thirsting for more.

Note…Just because you think you settled in a marriage and are not happy does not mean you are an Old Soul. You might have been young when the vows were said and just grown into different people.
We don’t know if we are the oldest of the old, not even the Un-Holy Trinity, Me, Myself and I…and I’m a “Sexual Intellectual” aka “A fucking know it all”…just ask my Mom or anyone else that has to listen to me.

…They dream of more, not perfection in a Mate, just one of the ones that They belong with, through all time.

Lifetimes and lifetimes they go alone scanning the horizons. Not living but existing until that tick in time when their Love is unleashed on this plane.

Sometimes the timing isn’t ethical or even suitable. Unable to refrain from their Love, they fight with a pain that haunts them as society discerns their actions.
They seize every moment together because of the spell they spun an eternity ago.
To know one another.

Just The First Few Days Of Summer Vacay!

Note…My Children got out of school on Friday. They were with their Dad through Memorial Day so I had a clean, quiet house until 8:00am Tuesday Morning…

Friday night:

This is my friends husband.

F1 is having a party. I plan on to spending the night.
I am late to said party because Kat’s Camper shows up and we need to attach the hitch…3 hours later…WE ARE WINNERS!!!
I head to F1’s house and she has a house FULL…I have to do my cooking there…I wanted to do it at my place but…shit happens.

Saturday:
F1’spouse has coffee for me and is making bacon…I read their paper and head on out...
Nothing to do but write and watch Dr. Who on BBC America.

Sunday:
Nothing to do but write and watch Top Gear on BBC America.

Monday:
I write in the AM and Kat shows up around 1…we get shitty drunk and talk about all the people we have lost…it’s not an average amount and we are 2 Trainwrecks. Some of the people were, well, very close to us…my old boyfriend and...worse her Husband.

Tuesday:
My Children are dropped off and see the Camper that is now parked on my side yard. I have room for it and she doesn’t.
They are shitty excited and move right into it like it’s their new house…sans the screaming Mother, me.

All the Children are playing well and end up having Ice Cream before dinner and everyone is happy.

Bob’s casa

After their REAL dinner they go back out and play.
They find an injured fledgling. (That’s a baby bird.)
I don’t know this.
It starts getting dark and I yell all their Names…The ol’ shout to come home old school Mom play.
I hear from a distance my Daughter…
E…”Coming!”
It seems they brought this fledgling to their Gym teacher that lives a couple of streets up.
Me…”What on earth are you thinking?! It’s his summer vacation AWAY from you guys!”

So now we have this bird, Bob…for the night till I can take it to the WildLife refuge.

Wednesday:
Bob doing ok. I am happily optimistic.
My friend T drops off her 2 year old so I can watch her.
We are all checking how Bob is doing…
Still good.
8:30 am and I check on Bob.
Oh Shit!!!! Mother Fucker!!! Bob is still alive….but not looking so good.
Me…”hurry up get dressed now!”
We hurry out the door and my daughter keeps asking me…
E…”How much farther?!”
I give her minute to minute updates…
We get there and by now my daughter is balling!
I hand poor dead Bob to the man behind the counter at the WildLife refuge.

The whole thing didn’t go very well.
I’m sick of animal dying around me…and my daughter is a MESS!

Oh well?
Survival of the fittest?
I really hope this is the last sad thing that will happen.

Yada, yada…My house now looks like it’s been trashed by Storm Troopers looking for Han, Luke and Leia. I think I should put my Gold Cat suit on and pretend I am C3PO walking around like a robot cleaning up after them.

We head to Costco and some jackass driving, while we are crossing in the cross walk decides my Children and I are expendable.
Mother Fucker! I put my hand up and give this shitty piece of a human some choice words at the drivers side window…When I get angry, which is NOT often...but lately to often…being that my knee still hurts…relationships are fucking retarded and well I don’t know what else but I have been a total fucking bitch the last…what? month or two?
…and some idiot is now, in my eyes having intent to harm these Children of mine that yes, frustrate me, but that I would lay my body down for….don’t fuck with my Children…I’m their MOM!
He turned around and left the parking lot.
 $169.00 later I think I’ll have enough food for my youngest to last a couple of days at least.

12:30pm
POOL TIME!!!
All my Children have done, except in public thank all the God’s, is fight with each other.
I’ve packed everything I can imagine, except candy…fruit, veggies, chips and dips…
It’s time to ‘head out like a fetus’ and my youngest can’t find his bathing suit.
This is AFTER his sister hits him in the chest.
So now I have to go to Target and buy him one.
More fighting ins-sues…
Me…”Ya know what?! I would make you all stay home as punishment but then I would have to listen to you all fight and at least at the pool I don’t have to see you.”


Note…My Children are fishes in pools and the Ocean and have been swimming on their own for 5 years now.

E…”WHAT?! You don’t want to see us?”
Me…”I’m sick of the fighting. This is gonna be one long summer if you all don’t get your act together!” (For ME!)
I explain how I can love them and still be frustrated with them at the same time.

On the way to the store another idiot driver I encounter…they have forgotten their vehicle came with an INDICATOR...to let me know they are turning, so I don’t have to play some guessing game…They don’t use it and almost stop on the road to make a turn…They must know I have some awesome psychic abilities ‘cause I was not driving in “close formation” which is my norm.

We get to Target.
E looks at me shoeless.
Really?! I told them ALL to put their shoes on!
Then I see that my middle…sweet love bug…decided he didn’t need shorts…
I am gonna go insane! (He has just his bathing suit on but nothing to change in to after his shower after the pool)…I got this!)

So I leave the 2 older ones in my MiniVan and head in with the youngest…
With a STRONG warning that if they touch any of my shit I will kill them.
You as the reader can use your imagination as to my exact wording….but if you know me…you know it was ‘colourful’ to say the least.
Don’t worry, I cracked the window.

At the pool…
Peace with my girl friends but by this point I want to ask who brought the fucking vodka.
F1, F2, F4 and SF…

F1, F2 and SF and I are heading to Vegas in August with probably a couple of other Moms in need…
So we start planing our outfits…
F1…”Well we have the cabana reserved for Saturday so anyone we like we can invite them on sat…”
We chat…
F1, F4 and SF have to leave for music and gymnastics practice…

F2 and I are sitting there and she says to me…
…”You were a lot nicer on your pain meeds. You should try to get back on them!”

7:47 now…I can hear almost all the Children gathered in my hood playing up the street…
And I am hoping assorted berries, pastries and yogurt are ok for dinner.