This is a letter I am writing for F1, she wants to clean up her facebook account of friends she hasn’t spoken to in years.
I’ve ALWAYS wanted for people to send me a message as to why they are de-friending me…
If I was sending someone this letter…this is what it would sound-ish/read like.
I will be filling it with “Notes” …if you want to cut and paste this and send it to a facebook frienemy you are welcome to but you should delete the “Notes” and my sign off unless your name is Kristin, you are a Witch and on your period….or you will look stupid and they should have de-friended you.
Dear Douche Bag,
Note…A douche is just vinegar and water. I think vinegar is probably the answer to everything, it removes stuck on sticker goo, it can unclog a drain when used with baking soda and boiling water, it removes stains and smells…You can put a couple Tbs in with your flowers and it will pick them up…You can clean windows with it and it will keep your windows of your car frost free…if you put it on your finger nails before your polish your polish will last longer...
Three years ago when I decided to create a facebook account we some how became ‘friends’. I don’t remember who friended whom. This is a moot point now.
We never sent any messages to each other we never comment on each others status’ and when I see your stupid status updates I am always left flabbergasted at your narcism.
Note…I wrote that bit like someone is de-friending ME…hence the narcism comment.
Do you have a life? A real one I mean? You are always sick…I think you should go to the Doctor.
Note…I’m not always sick but I have noticed some people are and they should go to the doctor.
When we were in High School you didn’t talk to me, you probably DID talk about me though…I KNOW I talked about you! You thought you were better than everyone else but still some how I have found that we are facebook friends…but not for long.
A am de-friending you please don’t be offended…unless you find vinegar to be offensive.
Note…to sign or not to sign off is the question…I would…
Something like…
Don’t get your panties in a wad…we weren’t real friends anyway.
Heart,
Kristin, a narcissistic bitch who is a witch…and I will leave it there…Oh, and look out I AM on my period.
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