Valentines day

Did ya think I was gonna blog about, candy, flowers and love?
Nahhh….it’s about my frustrating day;) although love and flowers are mentioned.

My day started wonderfully!
I woke to a message from one of my best friends who’s friendship over flows my love bucket on a daily basis. He lives so far from me though, we never get to see each other. Right now he is in Afghanistan, the AF gave him a year long trip. The year, thank the God’s is almost up now…

I was looking forward to spending time with my CSRM’s for a Valentines breakfast at Panera and getting ready for the day.
Before I got in the shower I had used my usual 1/4 box of Glad Press and Seal around my bandages on my leg hoping this time I did it correctly as to not soak my wrap. I have only gotten this correct twice so far…I’m ready to get my bandages off, it’s not time yet though.
I’m getting frustrated!

While I was in the shower I got a text from F1 hoping that we could all go to DSW after breakfast. I also have Re-hab for my leg and my middle child had signed me up for his Valentines party at school…I really had to get my shit together to get to do all the things I wanted to do…but I couldn’t find something to wear!

Then I get a text…
…’Happy Valentines day Sweetie!’
It brightens my mood as I hunted and pecked for something decent to wear…to NO avail!

I can’t get over my vanity!
I have to wear this compression thigh high on one leg and my other leg is all bandaged up. I have three pairs of pants I can wear comfortably. I can wear ONE of my 23 pairs of jeans, the others are all to tight around my bandages (and I hate the jeans I CAN wear).…and 4 pairs of boots and tennis shoes. I can’t even wear ballerina flats because of the compression ‘sock’ thingy. I have closet’s of shoes and clothes that whisper to me while I sleep, I think they miss me too.

The homely clothes I have to wear and this disfigured leg that is repulsing me. My muscles in my once attractive leg have been decimated and getting worse by the day. My knee looks like a mammoth onion with two roots. It will get even worse from here before it gets better.
I want to be pretty again.
To walk my little sexy walk instead of limping around with an exoskeleton wrapped around my right leg so that I CAN walk.
My frustration is at a high point right now.

I head to breakfast with my friends and order a salad. Breakfast food is not my thing, so I order what I WANT.
We are chatting about schools, teachers and children that refuse to behave and bullies.
F1’s daughter is moving on to middle school next year and we have all heard horror stories. F10 is a middle school councilor. I am shocked at the things I’m hearing. I was a semi-good kid myself. I would never have been the bully so I don’t understand how parents let their child get away with bad behavior. When I was in High School I ‘partied’ a bit, but I was nice about it.

In my frustration I’m in a need to rant and rabble.

As a parent your job is to teach your children to behave like civilized beings that are responsible for their actions. I do comprehend that there are some children with ADHD, Aspergers and other behavior issues. I throughly believe that they can also be taught to behave accordingly. Sadly there are some parents that can’t behave themselves and make excuses for their children’s behavior.
I always hear from teachers and such about parents of children that will not behave. These parents can not seem to fathom that THEIR child would be a disruption to MY child’s schooling!
This makes me a bit angry.
We talk about the bulling and I encourage them to sign their children up at The Defense Institute.
These parent’s also are disrespectful to the teachers. Not every teacher is great, I’m not stupid, but at the school my children attend the teachers are fantastic, the administration well put together and the office staff friendly and caring.

Today I was limping to get my children. James the cross walk guy, and my friend, yes, my friend, was standing in the middle of the road with his placard that says STOP….a woman seemingly decided that the rules of the road did not apply to her and almost hit me. I stood there in my state of vexation, with James, I looked at her and pointed to his sign in all the bitchiness I could muster.
The bell rings and I collect my children.
Over the loud speaker I hear…
... “Will the owner of a grey honda please move your vehicle, it is blocking ALL the traffic to the school.”
Someone thought they were special. They had left their car unattended in the piss and drop lane to get their children.
At an assembly last month the principal had to ask the parents to be considerate and not yell at the teachers trying to get said parents children in and out of cars and to not leave cars unattended in the piss and drop lane. This outrages me.
I DON’T think I’m special, I park on a side street, legally, to retrieve my children.

I think I’m done for now ranting about ‘special’ people.

I have to retrace my steps now and go back in time to earlier in the day.

I get to DSW and meet F1, F2 and F10. F1 is on a mission for some new black heels. I wander around in my hopeless state getting more and more depressed and aware of my homely circumstance. I’m looking at the shoes realizing that even when I will be able to don one of my many heeled beauties that I will be scared I’ll fall, and hurt my knee again.
Will I even be able TO walk in them the way I did before?
F1 and F2 are walking around DSW in shoes that they desire, feeling them out…
I say to F2…
…”Well, you have sweated all in those Mother Fuckers you better buy them now.”
They are lovely set and I am green with envy.
F10 and I are looking at purses. F10 and I are relatively new friends. F1 introduced her to us to her when she moved here. I think I like her, she’s pretty funny and seems to handle my humor, very necessary if you are going to be my friend . She has a tiny little wallet with her. She’s thinking about buying a big ol’ bag. She’s like I used to be. I just moved to ‘the big purse’ awhile back, filling them with everything I can find. She picks out a black one. It’s nice but I encourage her to try a winter white one. A tad more stylish  and it can be used with almost everything. I say…
…”I may not look like a personal stylist, but I am one, you should listen to me.”
We start talking about going out. We have a date night planned, we are inviting all the spouse’s  to go out with us.
Me…”I really want to ask him to be my date. I just don’t know my boundaries.”
F10…”Well,  just ask him.”
Me…”It’s complicated, he’s married.” (stick with me, it’s not THAT bad.)
F10…”Well, maybe you shouldn’t ask him.” As she laughs. I’ve just completely invited and accepted her into my screwed up life.
Me…”It’s not like it sounds. He’s been separated for years. I just don’t know if he would be comfortable  being with me in public.”
Don’t hate me or judge me for this.
You sometimes can’t help who you like and giving something a chance is something I need to do. I need to do this for him as much as me.

It’s time to go and I need to head off to Re-Hab. I like my therapist. He’s an attractive ‘ginger’ a couple years older than me. He has a really good sense of humor and makes fun of me with ease…always at my expense.
This time as he unwrapped my bandages he says…
…”Look it’s snowing inside.”
As my dry skin flakes off everywhere. I’m nauseated that someone has to see this part of me, AND has to touch me there to stretch my knee back. He has encouraging words for me and tells me I’m doing well and that he thinks I’ll be able to cycle today, full rotations this time.
I get on the cycle and I win. He leaves me for a bit and I start playing 'Angry Birds’. (refer to 'Drive and Determination' blog;)…He comes back and sees me playing in my obsessive manner and asks me…
G…”How far are you.”
Me…”I have one more golden egg to get and then I’m done. How far are you?”
G…”No where near as far as you. If I give you my phone can you help me out.”
This is a ridiculous conversation between two adults that teenagers should be having. Although I have this conversation with several of my adult friends…All I have to do in Angry Bird’s to complete the game is get all 3 stars on 15 levels which will get me that last golden egg!
He gives me his phone so I can up his scores…and he tells me about some other games he thinks I should play.
I get finished with all my little exercises he has me doing and I get to relax with my ice pack.

My knee is killing me now, had been all day and I decide I need to pop a pill, so I do.

I get to the school, just in time for the party feeling much better now. As I am walking up I pass several people who don’t know me. one of them says…
…”Oh, an owie.”
Really? You just said that to me? Do you think I am going to respond to baby talk? You are an idiot. I just ignore it. I’m feeling better due to my little pill but I am in no mood to deal with a stupid person.

Later in the day I’m hangin’ out with my neighbor K. She’s pretty awesome and worldly. A widowed single mother of two at the age of 28 now. She has her shit together! While she’s over the flower guy arrives. An amazingly beautiful bouquet.
The card reads…’We are jealous of your beauty. Love, The Flowers’
Hmmmmm???
We wonder who they are from. I have a good idea but want to know for sure.
K…”Call up the florist and ask them who sent them. If they give y0u a hard time just say you have a stalker situation. They’ll tell ya.”
She’s is demented! I love her. She works with psych patients…I think it warps her brain.

That was my day, not all of it, you know I have to edit things…

Oh!…I did ask my friend out on a date. He’s not sure yet but he’s thinking about.
…and the flowers from another one of my best friends who is always there for me when I need him.;) Thanks babe!