WWKD?

Is it sacrilegious to ask yourself... “What Would Kristin Do?” over, “What Would Jesus Do?”

I think not!

Christ’s Consciousness lives, breaths, dances and loves through me.

(Christ Consciousness is another blog though. Oh, and his name wasn’t Jesus Christ.)

Who doesn’t get impatient when driving behind someone that doesn’t realize the speed limit posted is a general guideline that you should typically go 5 mph over…NOT UNDER!
WWKD?
Whenever I encounter this situation I try to go around them if able. If I’m not, I breath in, and imagine a beautiful cake, a 4 layer chocolate one, between the layers a raspberry filling, the whole cake covered with ganache, sitting precariously on the seat next to the driver going ridiculously slow. If it was me driving with a cake that I had made and I was delivering it somewhere, I would be that driver that was frustrating me.

The "what if factor”…or as that time old motto goes, “Always be prepared".
I’m not talking about having a pen and paper readily available. I talking about being prepared mentally in the event of any situation and keeping a realistic point of view. If you Do have a pen and paper, or wet wipes, even better!

If you get your knee ligaments ripped to shreds in JuJitsu…?
WWKD?
”Oh thank the God’s I picked and pay for my own health insurance.”

When my daughter was a baby, in diapers, and hadn’t yet started ‘back talking me’…we traveled everywhere, usually via plane and she would sit on my lap. One time just as the plane was gathering enough speed to lift its front wheels to glide through the sky...She ‘blew out’ a shit load from from her diaper. All up her back. She was joyfully sitting on my lap oblivious to the situation….that not only had she shit on herself but also on me.
WWKD?
I was prepared with outfits for her and I, plastic baggies and a shit load of wipes to clean up a shit load. I of course apologized to the passengers around me. I thought to myself as they looked at me with disgust…”Hmmm, aren’t they lucky it wasn’t projectile.”

Another time one of my children was invited to a Birthday Party at the Valdosta Country club pool house. I only knew the adults that attended the party through my children’s Methodist Pre-School where they, my children and now Ex also attended Church. I did NOT attend Church. I saw a woman with a little baby and everyone else was eating and I offered to hold her baby so she could also partake in the breaking of bread with her friends. I’m holding the baby for about 30 minutes and the sweet cherubic little thing not only blew out on my white shirt and pants but also spit up all over me.
WWKD?
I grabbed her absorbed in southern gossip Mother and handed her back. (I wasn’t a babywipe carrying Mother anymore) I headed to the bathroom, cleaned myself up and meandered back. The funk still attached to me. It’s not like anyone there was talking to me anyway, they always seemed to forget their fake southern charm as soon as I came anywhere near them. I sat down by the pool and thought to myself…”Oh, I’m glad I have real friends, and not faux ones;)”

Last year I took my children skiing. I decided to take the scenic route home up and over Mountains galore, the road twisting and turning. My youngest says to me…
…”Mom, I’m gonna throw up.”
Not 2 seconds later the stench of barf had permeated the air.
WWKD?
It was just me a my three children. It took about 10 minutes but I found a place to pull over. Got out opened the boot of my MiniVan and retrieved wet wipes, plastic baggies and an outfit (albite a slightly soiled one as I had no more clean clothes, but it wasn’t covered in barf.)
A car drove by with an older couple and I saw the woman turn her neck, I think she thought she had seen a train wreck…NO! She was watching Wonder Woman at work.

I think that is enough Barf and shit stories…now on to more fun stuff of WWKD?

You find out someone has been spreading vicious stories about your really fun Friday night out…
WWKD?
You hope they get all the details right ‘cause damn it you had a good time!

You discover you have a pimple that ‘rearing it’s ugly head’…
WWKD?
Go to bed with toothpaste on that mean ol’ pimple!

The mirror on your dresser has been ripped from it’s screws and blown over in an unexpected gust with hurricane force...
WWKD?
You pick it up and put it in your garage and wait for your Dad to come visit to fix it for ya.

You are at a party and a heal to your spectacularly delicious Spanish made boots breaks off...
WWKD?
Take them off for the party, crossing your toes your socks match, then to get back to the car, hop on one beautifully attired foot through the snow.

You forget to RSVP to a party...
WWKD?
Call as soon as you find the invitation that your child has secretly hidden in a box under their bed, call and hope they are nice and understanding.

You send a text to your Ex Husband that was meant for someone else...
WWKD?
Hope, pray and re-view to make sure there was nothing explicit in it and re-text him and say…
…”oops, sorry about that.”
And just leave it there. He already thinks of you as a nut job, it’s cool.

That guy you were seeing stops calling and texting you...
WWKD?
You realize he’s not that into you and get out your tarot cards to find out why.

You want to cuddle with someone but there is no one around, to include children...
WWKD?
You heat up your rice pack and cuddle with IT!

You want a glass, or two of wine but you are alone...
WWKD?
You do what ever you want.

You are passing a Taco Bell and suddenly that craving hits you then you remember that story about the beef not being all ‘beef’...
WWKD?
You go trough the drive through and get what ever you want. You like it once a year, fuck it.

The family liquor store is having a sale on your favorite BotoBox wine…
WWKD?
Buy as many as you can.

I guess if you wanna know WWKD? It’s really simple.

Stand on your kitchen counter and get another perspective, from a bigger persons point of view if you may. Don’t care what other people think, just have fun, in a loving way and always, always, ALWAYS have baggies and wet wipes available.