C U Next Tuesday

I’m trying to drop my children off at school yesterday morning and I’m in the ‘kiss and drop lane, newly coined by my friend Tricia as the ‘piss and drop lane’. I hadn’t actually reached one of the two choices of lanes though…as some total idiot of a woman had all the traffic backed up because she seemed to have declared one specific lane her chosen one. She couldn’t get into her desired lane because the direction she was coming from and she should have been getting into the other lane.  I hope she can read lips. As I passed  5 cars, driving the wrong way through traffic, I slowed down as to make eye contact and called her names. Some of you have no clue what I am taking about. It’s ok, some of you do.
Dropping off the children can be very frustrating and at the moment I made I contact with said idiot woman I knew I was gonna call someone a C U Next Tuesday, Cunt.

I got over it and laughed wishing I could have sat her down and explained to her the traffic jam SHE caused. (It’s like that every morning.)
Moving on…
F2 and I head to the gym where we are meeting F1. On the way there we pass someone we know who has been pulled over by the Sheriff.
Me…”OH!…SNAP!”
F2…”I wonder if she talked her way out of it.”
Me…”I doubt it.”

While at the gym I get leered at by several men who don’t understand what a skinny woman with this leg brace that football players wear after they get a leg clipped is doing in the weight room. I leer back and raise my eyebrow as I walk past them. I grab my bosu ball and weights and start lifting one legged on my bad leg. It hurts but I have to make myself stronger in anticipation for surgery so I can recover faster. No pain meds allowed…I feel like a masochist.
An hour and a half later the leer’s realize that I’m not just some skinny girl. They are watching a woman that desires to be the bionic woman. That I can and will push myself to be stronger, faster, a bad ass mother fucker and nothing will stop me.

F1 and F2 show up in the weight room to check up on me. F1 want’s to do lunch and has sent the message to F3 and F4. It seems F3 and F4 have lunch plans already. F1 tells them…
F1…”Well we are coming too and if you don’t want to hang out with us we will just sit in another booth and listen in on your conversation.”
We get invited to sit with them;)
We leave so we can make it in time…

Garbanzos…
It’s a Mediterranean fast foodish place that just opened. We get our food and sit down...
We discuss the stupidity of women drivers….and the whole C U Next Tuesday…Poor F3, I ragged on her a bit. She parks her car once in awhile in the Handicapped spot at the school and then gets mad about it when someone tells her to move. HELLLOooooo!!!! She get’s frustrated with me whenever I bring it up. We all just exchange looks…our love for one another is unconditional though.
F3 changes the subject. She wants to show us some paint chips for her new place. (She is moving next month…:(
She removes these paint chips from a plastic baggy, in this plastic baggy are pictures, cards and such.
Me…”That’s your wallet?!”
F3…”NO! and don’t you dare blog about my plastic baggy.”
Me…”I have to now.”
F3…”Well, then you have to mention that I carry my baggy in my very nice Coach purse."
We take all of our stuff out of our purses to see what each one of us carries. F1 can’t take everything out of her bag…
F1…”It’s called a concealed license, I can’t take it out.”
They are all organized, my purse is a disaster. Random receipts, lip gloss, tampons and a REAL wallet.

We pinky swear we will all get together at least once every five years and come to the conclusion we need some therapy. I think my friends saw me tear up. I’m very upset about F3 moving and I don’t want anyone to know but…I’m really, really gonna miss her.
F2…”Oh my God, Kristin, you HAVE feelings?!”
Me…”Shut up! I have something in my eyes.”
We all tear up. There will be a lot of tears in the next couple of weeks for us.
F4 declares her house as where we will be having therapy but can’t make it right away and tells us to head over there with out her and get’s started.
As we are headed out the manager says to us…
…”C U Next Tuesday!”
We laughed like maniacs, he had no idea why.

F1 and I get there first and help ourselves into her house and talk about moving F4’s furniture around. When ever one of us goes out of town we like to ‘break in’ to said house and move shit around. Taking pictures of ourselves doing things we should NOT be doing…random fun consisting of pillow fights on their beds, trying on their husbands cloths and uniforms, looking in all their drawers and cupboards and taking all their ice, drinking their beverages and eating their snacks.
Don’t ever let me have a key to your house.
We turn her lounge chair around so it’s facing the kitchen, that way I can sit comfortably. I get out the Tequila, triple sec and lime aid. F3 walks in and sees me pour the tequila and says…
…”Is all that booze?”
Me…”Yes…!”
I look around to find all of F4’s rice bags, and I systematically heat them all up for us to use.
F4 made us all rice bags for Christmas. I didn’t have a microwave before and the only reason I bought one was so I could heat up my rice bag!
I sit down on the lounge chair and F3 joins me, we have rice bags all over our selves. The drinks still aren’t ready…
F1 get’s busy, at a snails pace and I say…
Me…”It’s takin’ forever to get a drink around here.”
F3 agrees as we both just sit there.
F1 just looks at us and finishes the beverages and hands them to us.
F4, daughter in hand shows up as does F2…we are still waiting for F5, which had been AWOL. She finally shows up and we start chatting.
Our first conversation was about our love of our rice bags and I tell them…
Me…”I find myself waking up in the middle of the night cuddling with mine. Can you make me a really big one?”
The others have found themselves doing the same. Husbands and children stealing them away…These rice bags are ridiculously fabulous!
As always sex comes up, religion, and our bucket lists.
F1 has been having lower abdominal issues lately and she says…
…”I told my husband the other day, ‘I feel like I have enough shit in me, I don’t need more shoved in there.”
She then tells us she gave him a ‘lollipop’.
We all laugh, how can we not.
Oral sex is a subject we talk about ALL the time. This time we discussed the nooks and crannies of the female anatomy. (again…C U Next Tuesday)

Somehow we switch to Religion, I think the segue was something concerning my blog…;/
F1 is a Born Again. Can you be re-born…you can in my mind, I just see it as reincarnation. I always joke that she is “Spirit Filled”…the spirit being VODKA!
She once went to Mardi Gras to spread the ‘word’…
She saw a woman in chaps…just chaps and thought it would be funny to put a sticker on the ladies ass…”Jesus lives in me” or something like that. Funny imagine HER the one WEARING the chaps.

Then we talk about our bucket list’s…We have ALL done some crazy ass shit, well, some more than others and come to the agreement that if one of us has done it the others don’t have too….like getting arrested…

This blog is stoooooopid long and just stupid, I’ll end the pain here...