Kat and I are two independent women with
So here we are driving across the country with our 5
I think we listened to Despicable Me 9 times…I’ve never seen it though…I think there is some quote about boogers in it?
When we started off, Kat was driving…I ended up driving the whole way after the first day as she saw it was actually something I really enjoyed and relaxed me. Yes, towing 5000++ Lbs is relaxing for me? I love a challenge.
Note…I love driving. I have a whole blog started about TopGear BBC America.
Kat has AT&T I have T-Mobile. My reception sucked! Every am after we got our shit together and were finally on the road she would read me the news…as she sat back with her feet and normally well pedicured toe nails now all jacked up, just like mine…jacked up, propped up on the windshield.
K…”So, Casey Anthony just got acquitted.”
Me…”You are shitting ME!”
….every morning we would discuss the happenings of her where abouts and what WE would do if we were her lawyer…
…The whole plane trip was
Brittany Spears and her bodyguard and how she farts all the time…
A horse fell into someones basement here in C-Springs and it couldn’t get out…
K…”Holy Shit!___de-friended me on FB! Quick…check if he de friended you too.”
Me…”Yup, me too!”
…yada, yada, shit talk, shit talk and more shit talk! Not really…we felt bad for him and wish he was more mature.
We would see something on the side of the road and I would say…
Me…”What the hell is that?”
Kat…”Let me google it!”
This is the largest cross in the world ———>
The first night in the trailer we climb into our sleeping area we are sharing…in separate sleeping bags…
Me…”When I sleep in the same bed with someone I usually kiss them goodnight.”…
…As I laughed and snorted trying to make her uncomfortable...
Kat…”There is a first for everything…and you won’t be kissing me!"
The second night...
Me…”You come here often? Wanna spoon.”
Kat…”Don’t you dare!You better have panties on too!”
…as we laugh and talk shit about people…we talked a lot of shit. We also talked about how cool we
Everyday I would
K…"Thats it…when we get back I’m gonna hook this bitch up to the care with out the Hensely and see how you like towing the trailer!”
…She was serious. That hitch was fabulous and I have a whole blog about it I’m writing but we did have issues…
K as we drove through a rain storm…”I wonder how many accidents we have caused behind us that we can’t see…”
Me…”I don’t know, a corner is coming up…maybe we can see when we are going around this corner!”
All the while we are yelling at the
The
Colbalt, an 11 week old puppy and Pedro, an 8 week old puppy both
Pedro would walk all over the SUV and if we were driven and he needed to poop…he would poop on the Kansas map! So it must be true and everyone knows Kansas is shit.
It only happened twice but we just looked at each other and laughed hysterically as the smell of dog poo permeated the inclosed space and the
We talked often about our coolness. We wondered about the naysayers and the haters we have in our lives.
We FB’ed each other like idiots as we sat next to each other…
Kristin
Bathroom breaks...
..."Mom’s I need to go #3!” Did you know there are 3 categories, not 2, to what normally happens in the loo bathroom?
Can you imagine how many times we told the MoFo’s Children to…
…”just hold it a bit longer…”
…And how many times we had to stop?
…And all the gross toilets we encountered?
Kat…”You better not be thinking about taking a picture right now. Just get us across this bitch.”
Me…”Who me? Never!”
We came across people who did NOT appreciate us and our adventure…although they had no idea what we were accomplishing. Yes, we thought of our trip as an accomplishment.
On the way back we saw a sign for wineries…we saw lot’s of signs…and came to the conclusion it was a ‘sign’ for us to stop!
So we got off the exit and drove several miles on a country road to a quaint little town. Parked…and introduced this town to our 5
Right after we walked in to this winery, empty of any patrons other than us another couple walked in with thir 2
The wife gave us dirty looks the whole time and we were sure she briefed her husband to not even look at us..when our backs were turned...
We tasted wine, bought some wine…tasted cheeses and meats and bought our lunch.
Outside while we are having said lunch this
I took a picture of myself so as to give you an idea of how far people would go out of their way to get away from us...
<——they are way back there sitting at the LAST table they could find.
We would stop at WalMart…campers, truckers and …In one state we discovered you could buy alcohol there…In Colorado you can only buy it at designated Liquor stores. You have never seen 2 women so excited!
We also made fun of the way people were dressed then I caught a glimpse of reflection and thought better of it…as I was not looking so fabulous myself…with one of my many wife beaters I wore, marked with who knows what…and because of the humidity my short hair had stupid curls and my toes looked like sausages...We laughed our asses of off even as I made wrong turns…
This is us driving on an access road——>
I turned where I thought was the exit. It was not. So we drove several miles…as i made fun of my ’scenic route’ technique that my friends are well aware of…
We did have harrowing moments which will I will be discussing in my ‘Top Gear’ blog…
…the majority of the time we laughed…more than you will ever know wishing that we had video cameras mounted documenting our trip and ALL that was said…
…maybe next time...
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