May is the month of the Military Spouse.
I was once, it seems ages ago, a Military Spouse.
The majority of my female friends are Military Spouses.
It’s that time of year that Orders are coming in and the moving begins for my friends, whether across the country or across the oceans.
You worry about what is going to be missing and/or broken on the other end.
You worry about the schools for your Children.
You worry about finding friends for Children AND your yourself.
You worry about little things
You worry about big things.
Note…I can only tell you what it was like for me. Every Military Spouse has their own stories…I wish they would share them with the world…the funny and the ones fraught with distress.
When I got married I moved from my parents house to my Ex’s Condo on the beach. We lived there a bit and then he got orders to GA. We headed up before our move date and found the perfect house. So we could save money our good friends offered up their base house as they were in Vegas for 6 months. The time came and we moved into our perfect little house in GA.
Note…thanks for the use of your house J and D…;)
3 1/2 years later Orders came for Langley. We lived in a rental a few miles away waiting for one of the fabulous Tudor houses on the base to come available. We didn’t need to worry about schools ‘cause we didn’t have children yet…and the schools in that area were/are crap…and he could walk to work. A house came open and we moved…
2 1/2 years later Orders came for Kadena. Across the pond we went with our one Child. We lived off the Base in a great concrete grey 2 story home amongst the Japanese…it was amazing. Then his job changed and he was required to move on base…so on to the base we went. I’m not complaining, just sharing the way it was.
Note…I only know one person that was able to defy that ‘order’…(I HAD to mention it as I swear it’s like you have some Jedi power over people.)
Note of the note…that was a shout out!
3 years later Orders came again, back to GA we would go, this time with all 3 of our Children in toe. We lived in town in a house we both still own together.
2 years later Orders came…off to CO. This time we rented.
Then we split and for the last two years I have been on my own…ever!
Ok…Did you do the math?
13+ years…TEN different residences! (My latest move of course was my own choice.)
Once in the move from GA to Langley….ALL my bowls went missing…?????
Once I told a mover to…
…”Please be careful with that lamp…”
Horrible mover lady…”I’ve been trained to do this and do it well.”
I walk out of the room and heard a crash…That bitch broke my lamp.
Once a mover put our baby grand piano on it’s side and his truck leaked…one ruined and warped baby grand piano.
Once a mover was so shocked with the amount of shoes I owned I could hear him counting loudly as he laughed…(Not all memories of moving are bad.)
Once the mover arrived with my antique dinning room table…with a gouge right in the middle of the top.
You get to the point you know things will get broken and go missing…it’s just stuff.
Movers suck. They don’t care about a damn thing but getting out of there. You will never see them again and they are bottom of the barrel…at least the ones here in the US I encountered.
They would piss and moan when I would tell them I needed help un packing…which they were paid to do. Hell, they just pissed and moaned the whole time and you have to appease them because they have complete control over ALL your belongings.
Note...The best movers were in Japan. They cared and took great care of all our things.
You have to keep your precious belongings locked in your car as so things don’t go ‘missing’.
Garbage bags are great to put towels and clothes in so you don’t have to re wash everything on your arrival.
Following around your movers with a Sharpie in hand is a must…because if you really believe that the box marked “downstairs bathroom” doesn’t have dishes in it?!…you’re probably wrong.
Knowing you won’t see the majority of your thing for several months puts things into perspective and you prioritize what you will REALLY need…and you cross your fingers and toes that there is not a storm and you ‘crates’ don’t go overboard…That happened to someone I know…everything lost at sea the only company…Osama Bin Laden and the fish.
I have friends that can have their house in order in ONE day after a move…It takes a good amount of team effort but it can be done. I think 3 days was my own personal record…curtains hung and all.
There is actually no secret “how to”…
You just do it! You u-pack the boxes and you put things away. You worry about organizing the little things later.
Where you hang your hat is your home.
…………………………………..
All my Military friends out there…good luck on your moves.
I hope all arrives safely, particularly you and yours…the stuff is just stuff.
Love,
Barbie
Ps
See ya soon in Vegas…maybe?
Friday, May 20, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
How To Make Divorce Work
Last night my daughter, 9 1/2, got out of the tub and was yelling for me…
E…”MOM! I need some underwear!”
Me…”All of your clothes are clean and piled on your bed for you to put away.”
E…”It’s just hard to find underwear when your Mom and Dad are divorced!” as she stomps away.
Note…I swear those were her exact words and I outwardly cringed as I laughed on the inside. Only SHE would say something like that.
I know I’m gonna have to have a little talk with her after she cools down.
Later that evening I am sitting on her bed…with my house finally quiet as we chat.
Me…”You can’t throw the divorce on me because you can’t find under pants.”
Me…”I love you and am doing the best I can to help you be the best you can.”
Then I went on a long shpleel…
Note…is shpleel a real word? I don’t know but in my world it is.
“Your father and I get along better now than we did when we were married. A lot of your friends that have divorced parents don’t get along like your Dad and I…hell some of your friends that have parents that are still married don’t get along as well as your Dad and I.”
It’s true. He shows me more respect now than he did when we were married. We communicate better via e-mails and texts. He shares with me what’s going on with his school and work.
I’m proud of his accomplishments and where he has brought himself and I share these thoughts with our Children.
Note…I’m confident he does not bad mouth me around our Children. He most likely though does not share any of my accomplishments with them because I have so far done nothing with my life….but I will one day.
We do have our moments of frustration with each other still though.
The other day I told him I was going out of town in August and gave him the dates. I know this man well and could tell he was a little put out by this and I explained it was over a weekend.
I have only gone out of town once by myself since we separated and that was to go on a Wiccan Walk About to try and put my psychic life back in order.
We share an on-line calendar where we can enter things going on in our children’s lives and he updates this with the dates will be out of town.
Note…My Ex goes out of town often and sometimes at the last minute. I do everything I can to be there for my Children but I often feel I am at my Ex’s Beck and Call.
Kat and I were talking last night because she is worried about my ‘professional’ future. I CAN NOT get a real job. I have tried but due to my Ex’s schedule it is impossible.
Note within the note…Now with this blog I certainly won’t be able to get a traditional job.
An example: This week he had to drop off our Children on Sunday at noon and won’t be returning till Saturday sometime.
I have been blessed to have an Ex that supports me financially till he retires. But the future looms before me and it is scary.
My Children are with me on Monday’s, Tuesday’s, Wednesday’s and every other Saturday. Sometimes I have to pick them up from school for my Ex because of rescheduled meetings. Luckily I really don’t have much of a life so this is easy to do.
When this does happen our youngest, if not forewarned, gets all out of sorts.
Children thrive with a consistent schedule. Be it knowing when bed time is, bath time, when they do their homework to WHICH PARENT they are going to be with and WHEN.
Our Children have the same bedtime and routines in our respective homes.
Note…If you don’t have your own Children on a schedule I won’t judge you but you might be amazed at how they excel in all areas of their lives when on one. This works with ALL Children whether with divorced parents or not.
Letting one another know what is going on and being cognizant of one another’s feelings is also paramount to making Divorce work.
Last year my friend and my Ex’s boss invited me to his ‘Pin On’ (A Pin On is a military term where someone moves up in rank.) It was a big deal, he was pinning on Brigadier General. I had every intention of attending. My Ex asked me not to go, so I declined the invite.We share many of the same friends, some that he works with.
It had not occurred to me how awkward it must be for my Ex.
Another example of being considerate …yesterday I was planning my summer vacation with my Children and I thought I was going to have to leave on the July 2nd. My Ex and I take turns every other year for Holidays. This would be me asking if I could have them for July 4th two years in a row. He responded with…
…”If it’s the 4th that works that would be fine with me but would like a rain check as that would be two-in-a-row with you.”
It turns out I have to leave later than the 4th, but he was kind and understanding.
To show one another courtesy when in the company of your Children and friends can be difficult if things are acrimonious but do it anyway. I don’t care what your situation is…or how hurt you are. Take your fucking panties off and be a bigger person.
Having realistic expectations is also crucial. Many people out there do NOT have realistic expectations though.
With regards to financial issues some people just don’t make a great deal of money and understanding that you can not squeeze blood a turnip is paramount.
Note…Please don’t be a member of the Hater Nation and be angry at me because my Ex does well and cooperates. Be happy for me.
All this being said how do you deal with a bitch or an asshole that impedes your every step?
That my friends I will deal with later…because I KNOW they exist.
… I will also deal with the difference between Lawyers and Mediators...
E…”MOM! I need some underwear!”
Me…”All of your clothes are clean and piled on your bed for you to put away.”
E…”It’s just hard to find underwear when your Mom and Dad are divorced!” as she stomps away.
Note…I swear those were her exact words and I outwardly cringed as I laughed on the inside. Only SHE would say something like that.
I know I’m gonna have to have a little talk with her after she cools down.
Later that evening I am sitting on her bed…with my house finally quiet as we chat.
Me…”You can’t throw the divorce on me because you can’t find under pants.”
Me…”I love you and am doing the best I can to help you be the best you can.”
Then I went on a long shpleel…
Note…is shpleel a real word? I don’t know but in my world it is.
“Your father and I get along better now than we did when we were married. A lot of your friends that have divorced parents don’t get along like your Dad and I…hell some of your friends that have parents that are still married don’t get along as well as your Dad and I.”
It’s true. He shows me more respect now than he did when we were married. We communicate better via e-mails and texts. He shares with me what’s going on with his school and work.
I’m proud of his accomplishments and where he has brought himself and I share these thoughts with our Children.
Note…I’m confident he does not bad mouth me around our Children. He most likely though does not share any of my accomplishments with them because I have so far done nothing with my life….but I will one day.
We do have our moments of frustration with each other still though.
The other day I told him I was going out of town in August and gave him the dates. I know this man well and could tell he was a little put out by this and I explained it was over a weekend.
I have only gone out of town once by myself since we separated and that was to go on a Wiccan Walk About to try and put my psychic life back in order.
We share an on-line calendar where we can enter things going on in our children’s lives and he updates this with the dates will be out of town.
Note…My Ex goes out of town often and sometimes at the last minute. I do everything I can to be there for my Children but I often feel I am at my Ex’s Beck and Call.
Kat and I were talking last night because she is worried about my ‘professional’ future. I CAN NOT get a real job. I have tried but due to my Ex’s schedule it is impossible.
Note within the note…Now with this blog I certainly won’t be able to get a traditional job.
An example: This week he had to drop off our Children on Sunday at noon and won’t be returning till Saturday sometime.
I have been blessed to have an Ex that supports me financially till he retires. But the future looms before me and it is scary.
My Children are with me on Monday’s, Tuesday’s, Wednesday’s and every other Saturday. Sometimes I have to pick them up from school for my Ex because of rescheduled meetings. Luckily I really don’t have much of a life so this is easy to do.
When this does happen our youngest, if not forewarned, gets all out of sorts.
Children thrive with a consistent schedule. Be it knowing when bed time is, bath time, when they do their homework to WHICH PARENT they are going to be with and WHEN.
Our Children have the same bedtime and routines in our respective homes.
Note…If you don’t have your own Children on a schedule I won’t judge you but you might be amazed at how they excel in all areas of their lives when on one. This works with ALL Children whether with divorced parents or not.
Letting one another know what is going on and being cognizant of one another’s feelings is also paramount to making Divorce work.
Last year my friend and my Ex’s boss invited me to his ‘Pin On’ (A Pin On is a military term where someone moves up in rank.) It was a big deal, he was pinning on Brigadier General. I had every intention of attending. My Ex asked me not to go, so I declined the invite.We share many of the same friends, some that he works with.
It had not occurred to me how awkward it must be for my Ex.
Another example of being considerate …yesterday I was planning my summer vacation with my Children and I thought I was going to have to leave on the July 2nd. My Ex and I take turns every other year for Holidays. This would be me asking if I could have them for July 4th two years in a row. He responded with…
…”If it’s the 4th that works that would be fine with me but would like a rain check as that would be two-in-a-row with you.”
It turns out I have to leave later than the 4th, but he was kind and understanding.
To show one another courtesy when in the company of your Children and friends can be difficult if things are acrimonious but do it anyway. I don’t care what your situation is…or how hurt you are. Take your fucking panties off and be a bigger person.
Having realistic expectations is also crucial. Many people out there do NOT have realistic expectations though.
With regards to financial issues some people just don’t make a great deal of money and understanding that you can not squeeze blood a turnip is paramount.
Note…Please don’t be a member of the Hater Nation and be angry at me because my Ex does well and cooperates. Be happy for me.
All this being said how do you deal with a bitch or an asshole that impedes your every step?
That my friends I will deal with later…because I KNOW they exist.
… I will also deal with the difference between Lawyers and Mediators...
Virusesesessss
Sunday morning I woke to a observe something horrific…on my MacBook of all things.
“Warning, warning your computer has been infected!”
It told me I need to pay a $50 something onetime amount to eradicate said virusesesesss to protect my credit card numbers and such.
It was all so official looking.
Note…Mac’s in general do not get viruses or have problems. That is one of the reasons I have one.
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/02/once-you-go-mac-you-never-go-back.html
So I turned my computer off and thought to myself…that took all of 15 Min and I turned my MacBook back on ready to go to war, qwerty style, with what was something I was determined to fix myself.
Note…My Dad is a big computer guy, not a programer, but has taught me a few things here and there.
Note to the note…I’m trying to sound cooler than I really am…I was filled with trepidation as I pondered taking on this project.
With my MacBook on I ignore the Porn that keeps popping up randomly whilst I try to cipher what the problem is, where it came from and how to eradicate it.
MacDefender is the name of this irritating trojan.
I started doing my research all the mean time pictures of Gay men or adds for viagra kept interfering with me.
It turned out it was an easy peasy lemon squeeze fix and if I can do it you can do it as well.
Go to your Utilities Folder and then double click on Activity Monitor.
On the top it will most likely say, ‘My Processes’, change it to 'All Procceses’
There you will find this mercenary that has invaded your personal territory.
Click on the 'MacDefender’ program and close it. It will ask you if you want to force close…yes, you want to force close it if you want to stop the unwanted porn popping up on your monitor.
Then drag that bitch to your trash and empty your trash.
Seriously…Easy peasy lemon squeezy!
On Monday I found out that 2 of my friends, F1 and F2, had also received this lovely little interruption to their lives.
F2 thought it was something she did wrong. It’s wasn’t.
Whenever someone tells me that they got a virus on their computer, no matter what kind I always tell them…
…”You should stop watching so much porn."
“Warning, warning your computer has been infected!”
It told me I need to pay a $50 something onetime amount to eradicate said virusesesesss to protect my credit card numbers and such.
It was all so official looking.
Note…Mac’s in general do not get viruses or have problems. That is one of the reasons I have one.
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/02/once-you-go-mac-you-never-go-back.html
So I turned my computer off and thought to myself…that took all of 15 Min and I turned my MacBook back on ready to go to war, qwerty style, with what was something I was determined to fix myself.
Note…My Dad is a big computer guy, not a programer, but has taught me a few things here and there.
Note to the note…I’m trying to sound cooler than I really am…I was filled with trepidation as I pondered taking on this project.
With my MacBook on I ignore the Porn that keeps popping up randomly whilst I try to cipher what the problem is, where it came from and how to eradicate it.
MacDefender is the name of this irritating trojan.
I started doing my research all the mean time pictures of Gay men or adds for viagra kept interfering with me.
It turned out it was an easy peasy lemon squeeze fix and if I can do it you can do it as well.
Go to your Utilities Folder and then double click on Activity Monitor.
On the top it will most likely say, ‘My Processes’, change it to 'All Procceses’
There you will find this mercenary that has invaded your personal territory.
Click on the 'MacDefender’ program and close it. It will ask you if you want to force close…yes, you want to force close it if you want to stop the unwanted porn popping up on your monitor.
Then drag that bitch to your trash and empty your trash.
Seriously…Easy peasy lemon squeezy!
On Monday I found out that 2 of my friends, F1 and F2, had also received this lovely little interruption to their lives.
F2 thought it was something she did wrong. It’s wasn’t.
Whenever someone tells me that they got a virus on their computer, no matter what kind I always tell them…
…”You should stop watching so much porn."
Friday, May 13, 2011
Member #1, The Hater Nation!
I am the oxygen that fuels the fire…it’s like I surround the earth and just by existing I piss people off.
The people I piss off K…Oh Hell, her name is Kat...has a name for…The Hater Nation.
This is the ‘story' about one member of The Hater Nation and how in the end it all comes down to ME. Please read all the way to the bottom…and you tell me what I did wrong…other than existing.
I have cut and pasted two unedited threads from FaceBook, names deleted of course. Some of this will be confusing because I want you to read them in real time as I did.
Thread A (and I will mark each one clearly) was generated by F9 and was addressed to F1, F2, F4, F7 and yours truly, the UnHoly Trinity, Me, Myself and I…Kristin.
Thread B was generated by Me and was so F1, F2, F4 and F7 could talk amongst ourselves with concerns to thread A.
I will insert notes to try and keep things clear and share the back story.
Good luck;)
……………………
A
May 10@ 4:19pm
F9
Have I done something to offend you? I feel like I an getting the cold shoulder from you guys.
Note…She had. She has a tendency to be negative and combative and it has gotten worse this year. She has insulted some of us and doesn’t take responsibility that things are not going well in her life…and sadly I believe it’s her and not those in her life that are the problem. She yells at people almost like it’s required by her religion. We had gotten together a couple weeks ago with thoughts of an intervention but thought it wouldn’t go well.
Note to the note…I am typing this thinking I need to take some responsibility for my lack of ability to attract a man…Oh shit, that’s another blog.
Note…Via text we come to the conclusion that I will be the spokesperson and will write up a response for their approval on thread B.
B
May 10@ 4:55pm
F9,
We got together the other day and had a talk about you. An honest discussion about how unhappy you have been lately. We don’t know how on earth to help you. We came to the conclusion that as combative as you have been lately with concerns to many aspects of your life we should let sleeping dogs lie, so to speak.
Now however if you want help from us we would gladly help you as we are your friends.
Please read this in peace and know we care about you but we all feel like we are treading on thin ice.
Kristin
F7
F1
F2
F4
B
May 10 5:04pm
F7
Very nicely worded. The whole thing is somewhat reminiscent of high school, but hey she did ask. I am ok with putting my name on it.
B
May 10 @5:05pm
F2
I am ok with it.
B
May 10@ 5:10pm
F1
Sounds good. Do we need to let her know that…we have been more distant because of her negativity?
B
May 10@ 5:22pm
F4
I am good with it…..
I agree F7! Totally High School!
B
May 10 @5:26pm
Kristin
F1…I think the whole part of us walkin on thin ice says that…
I’m gonna send this bitch out ladies!
B
May 10@ 5:43pm
F1
Ok…..
Elementary my dear watson……
Note…We sent our approved response to F9 at May 10 5:28pm
A
May 10 @9:28pm
F9
I can’t respond to this without sounding combative so I won’t bother you guys again. No need to turn your backs on me anymore I can take a hint.
B
May 10@ 9:32pm
SNAP! That did not go very well…
B
May 10@ 9:54pm
Kristin
No it didn’t….seriously just like we fucking expected!
I’m a little pissed she can’t see passed herself and that what we had foreseen.
B
May 11@ 9:01am
F1
Wow, that is very unfortunate. It’s too bad that people have to go through life hating the world and everyone in it….What is more upsetting is that she will blame us and never think she had anything to do with it…or want to change.
B
May 11@ 9:07am
F1
I want to write that 'I’m sorry you feel that way’..…but I’ll hold off for now.
B
May 11 @9:14am
Kristin
how about…
“You are probably right."
B
May 11@ 9:18am
Kristin
Ahhh…fuck it and fuck her.
She’s already de friended all of us I think by now.
She forgot to write me a de friending letter though and that just makes me angrier (joke)…
Oh, wait, maybe that was her de friending letter.
Note…We had all woken up with one less friend on FaceBook. This is a normal occurrence for me but for my girl friends it is not.
A
May 11@ 10:18am
F7
There is a saying don’t ask a question unless you really want the answer! I speak only for myself (just cause I didn’t ask the others before posting) We have been worried about you and avoiding conversations with you because of the snappishness. I can totally understand if you are having a tough time…You hate the school your kids are in, you’ve started taking classes yourself so have less time for fun stuff, but we didn’t create these issues in your life and when the going gets tough you should lean on your friendsnot push them away. Tell us we’re bitches and we don’t understand or tell us you didn’t mean to be especially grouchy with us…say anything except “I wont bother you anymore” Tha’s just giving up and our friendship is worth fighting for. No one wants to lose a friend, but we also don’t want to get in arguments over every little issue. Sometimes we have to just agree to disagree and let it go.
A
May 11 @10:29am
F1
I am truly sorry that you feel this way. without adding more, possible, frustration I agree with F7. We responded to your question to help you.
B
May 11 @10:32am
F1
So I went ahead n sent my response. I hope it sounded ok because I accidentally sent it before I was ready. Opps. I figured I’d just leave it n not make matters worse by rewriting or deleting.
B
May 11@ 10:32am
F7
Yeah, but will she see it, now that I’ve been de friended?!?
Again I have to point out the High schoolishness with the de friending and what not…lol
B
May 11@ 10:33am
I thought it sounded fine.
B
May 11@11:00am
F1
I’m not sure. you can send a message n not b friends w someone so I think it will work.
B
May 11 @11:16am
Kristin
She will see it. if she opens it.
I think ya’ll both did well. I didn’t send what I had to say because i just sounded like a bitch.
B
May 11 @11:25am
F2
I think what F1 and F7 wrote was pretty good. I hope she does read it but I’m thinking she probably won’t.
A
May11@ 4:30pm
F9
F7, F4, F1 and F2, I do think some friendships are worth keeping but I need time alone right now because it has been a very difficult year for …insert name of older son…this yearend I don’t need the added stress about worrying if I am hurt your feelings or not so I’ll stay away until I can be less grouchy. I will probably see you guys at the school but not anywhere else being as our kids aren’t friends with each other. That’s not a dig, it’s great that your kids are friends with each other but…insert both of her childrens names here…have different friends so I will be with them. I know Kristen is not listed in top it is not an oversight I just feel like it will be easier for me not to be included in her life. Take from this what you want but I need to do what’s best for me.
Note…Really?! Just me?!!! Hence she has a membership in the Hater Nation. I wonder if she realized I could SEE said message?
B
May 11@ 4:38pm
Kristin
So…now it’s just ME that is the enemy?!!!
Fuck my life.
B
May 11@ 5:01pm
F4
Well, you are the anti-Christ after all ;)
You know we love you……
There, I made a comment!
Between daughters oath appt, pre-k drop off, taking the cat to the vet and having to clean up cat bodily fluids in multiple places in my vehicle, another issue with ____. I finally have a moment. Oh wait, on our way to Awana Awards.
Moments over….
B
May 11@5:09
F1
LOL…F4. Sorry your day was so busy….soon summer will be here and hopefully you can relax a little with some ‘therapy pool time’.
B
May11 @5:13
F1
Not sure what to take from F9’s reply. I will let it be and hope she can find happiness somehow.
B
May 11 @5:14pm
F2
Wow F4, that did not sound like a fun day…sorry :(
Kristin, we do love you ;)
B
May 11@ 5:15
F4
Hey no worries….MY glass is half full ;)
Note…Almost everyone of my friends are positive and are ‘half full kind’ people. I love that about them.
B
May11@ 5:19
Kristin
It sounds like a hectic day F4…hope tomorrow is better.
As far as me being the anti-Christ, well…through some eyes I just might be but through other though…;)
I <3 you guys.
B
May 11 @6:42
F7
My thoughts…F4 def needs therapy. If F9 is de friending the anti christ then I’m out too. Kristin didn’t say anything different from the rest of us so to single her out is to find a scapegoat.
Note…for some reason this message from F7 was sent 3 times…
B
May 11@ 7:06
Kristin
Thanks F7, but as the anti christ…I can take it. She NEEDS friends…and if you will be her friends and she doesn’t want me as one…well, that’s ok…I’ve dealt with this kind of thing forever.
Help her…she doesn’t want to hear from me so I will leave her alone…don’t YOU do the same.
Sometimes people need a scapegoat…bhhhahhaaahhhahhhaaa
(that’s my goat sound.)
B
May 11@ 9:15
F7
Why did my msg post so many times weird…lol
B
May 12@ 7:11
Kristin
I thought it was funny F7;)
<3
The people I piss off K…Oh Hell, her name is Kat...has a name for…The Hater Nation.
This is the ‘story' about one member of The Hater Nation and how in the end it all comes down to ME. Please read all the way to the bottom…and you tell me what I did wrong…other than existing.
I have cut and pasted two unedited threads from FaceBook, names deleted of course. Some of this will be confusing because I want you to read them in real time as I did.
Thread A (and I will mark each one clearly) was generated by F9 and was addressed to F1, F2, F4, F7 and yours truly, the UnHoly Trinity, Me, Myself and I…Kristin.
Thread B was generated by Me and was so F1, F2, F4 and F7 could talk amongst ourselves with concerns to thread A.
I will insert notes to try and keep things clear and share the back story.
Good luck;)
……………………
A
May 10@ 4:19pm
F9
Have I done something to offend you? I feel like I an getting the cold shoulder from you guys.
Note…She had. She has a tendency to be negative and combative and it has gotten worse this year. She has insulted some of us and doesn’t take responsibility that things are not going well in her life…and sadly I believe it’s her and not those in her life that are the problem. She yells at people almost like it’s required by her religion. We had gotten together a couple weeks ago with thoughts of an intervention but thought it wouldn’t go well.
Note to the note…I am typing this thinking I need to take some responsibility for my lack of ability to attract a man…Oh shit, that’s another blog.
Note…Via text we come to the conclusion that I will be the spokesperson and will write up a response for their approval on thread B.
B
May 10@ 4:55pm
F9,
We got together the other day and had a talk about you. An honest discussion about how unhappy you have been lately. We don’t know how on earth to help you. We came to the conclusion that as combative as you have been lately with concerns to many aspects of your life we should let sleeping dogs lie, so to speak.
Now however if you want help from us we would gladly help you as we are your friends.
Please read this in peace and know we care about you but we all feel like we are treading on thin ice.
Kristin
F7
F1
F2
F4
B
May 10 5:04pm
F7
Very nicely worded. The whole thing is somewhat reminiscent of high school, but hey she did ask. I am ok with putting my name on it.
B
May 10 @5:05pm
F2
I am ok with it.
B
May 10@ 5:10pm
F1
Sounds good. Do we need to let her know that…we have been more distant because of her negativity?
B
May 10@ 5:22pm
F4
I am good with it…..
I agree F7! Totally High School!
B
May 10 @5:26pm
Kristin
F1…I think the whole part of us walkin on thin ice says that…
I’m gonna send this bitch out ladies!
B
May 10@ 5:43pm
F1
Ok…..
Elementary my dear watson……
Note…We sent our approved response to F9 at May 10 5:28pm
A
May 10 @9:28pm
F9
I can’t respond to this without sounding combative so I won’t bother you guys again. No need to turn your backs on me anymore I can take a hint.
B
May 10@ 9:32pm
SNAP! That did not go very well…
B
May 10@ 9:54pm
Kristin
No it didn’t….seriously just like we fucking expected!
I’m a little pissed she can’t see passed herself and that what we had foreseen.
B
May 11@ 9:01am
F1
Wow, that is very unfortunate. It’s too bad that people have to go through life hating the world and everyone in it….What is more upsetting is that she will blame us and never think she had anything to do with it…or want to change.
B
May 11@ 9:07am
F1
I want to write that 'I’m sorry you feel that way’..…but I’ll hold off for now.
B
May 11 @9:14am
Kristin
how about…
“You are probably right."
B
May 11@ 9:18am
Kristin
Ahhh…fuck it and fuck her.
She’s already de friended all of us I think by now.
She forgot to write me a de friending letter though and that just makes me angrier (joke)…
Oh, wait, maybe that was her de friending letter.
Note…We had all woken up with one less friend on FaceBook. This is a normal occurrence for me but for my girl friends it is not.
A
May 11@ 10:18am
F7
There is a saying don’t ask a question unless you really want the answer! I speak only for myself (just cause I didn’t ask the others before posting) We have been worried about you and avoiding conversations with you because of the snappishness. I can totally understand if you are having a tough time…You hate the school your kids are in, you’ve started taking classes yourself so have less time for fun stuff, but we didn’t create these issues in your life and when the going gets tough you should lean on your friendsnot push them away. Tell us we’re bitches and we don’t understand or tell us you didn’t mean to be especially grouchy with us…say anything except “I wont bother you anymore” Tha’s just giving up and our friendship is worth fighting for. No one wants to lose a friend, but we also don’t want to get in arguments over every little issue. Sometimes we have to just agree to disagree and let it go.
B
May 11 @10:22am
F1
F7, I like how you responded!!!!!!!!!!!!
A
May 11 @10:29am
F1
I am truly sorry that you feel this way. without adding more, possible, frustration I agree with F7. We responded to your question to help you.
B
May 11 @10:32am
F1
So I went ahead n sent my response. I hope it sounded ok because I accidentally sent it before I was ready. Opps. I figured I’d just leave it n not make matters worse by rewriting or deleting.
B
May 11@ 10:32am
F7
Yeah, but will she see it, now that I’ve been de friended?!?
Again I have to point out the High schoolishness with the de friending and what not…lol
B
May 11@ 10:33am
I thought it sounded fine.
B
May 11@11:00am
F1
I’m not sure. you can send a message n not b friends w someone so I think it will work.
B
May 11 @11:16am
Kristin
She will see it. if she opens it.
I think ya’ll both did well. I didn’t send what I had to say because i just sounded like a bitch.
B
May 11 @11:25am
F2
I think what F1 and F7 wrote was pretty good. I hope she does read it but I’m thinking she probably won’t.
A
May11@ 4:30pm
F9
F7, F4, F1 and F2, I do think some friendships are worth keeping but I need time alone right now because it has been a very difficult year for …insert name of older son…this yearend I don’t need the added stress about worrying if I am hurt your feelings or not so I’ll stay away until I can be less grouchy. I will probably see you guys at the school but not anywhere else being as our kids aren’t friends with each other. That’s not a dig, it’s great that your kids are friends with each other but…insert both of her childrens names here…have different friends so I will be with them. I know Kristen is not listed in top it is not an oversight I just feel like it will be easier for me not to be included in her life. Take from this what you want but I need to do what’s best for me.
Note…Really?! Just me?!!! Hence she has a membership in the Hater Nation. I wonder if she realized I could SEE said message?
B
May 11@ 4:38pm
Kristin
So…now it’s just ME that is the enemy?!!!
Fuck my life.
B
May 11@ 5:01pm
F4
Well, you are the anti-Christ after all ;)
You know we love you……
There, I made a comment!
Between daughters oath appt, pre-k drop off, taking the cat to the vet and having to clean up cat bodily fluids in multiple places in my vehicle, another issue with ____. I finally have a moment. Oh wait, on our way to Awana Awards.
Moments over….
B
May 11@5:09
F1
LOL…F4. Sorry your day was so busy….soon summer will be here and hopefully you can relax a little with some ‘therapy pool time’.
B
May11 @5:13
F1
Not sure what to take from F9’s reply. I will let it be and hope she can find happiness somehow.
B
May 11 @5:14pm
F2
Wow F4, that did not sound like a fun day…sorry :(
Kristin, we do love you ;)
B
May 11@ 5:15
F4
Hey no worries….MY glass is half full ;)
Note…Almost everyone of my friends are positive and are ‘half full kind’ people. I love that about them.
B
May11@ 5:19
Kristin
It sounds like a hectic day F4…hope tomorrow is better.
As far as me being the anti-Christ, well…through some eyes I just might be but through other though…;)
I <3 you guys.
B
May 11 @6:42
F7
My thoughts…F4 def needs therapy. If F9 is de friending the anti christ then I’m out too. Kristin didn’t say anything different from the rest of us so to single her out is to find a scapegoat.
Note…for some reason this message from F7 was sent 3 times…
B
May 11@ 7:06
Kristin
Thanks F7, but as the anti christ…I can take it. She NEEDS friends…and if you will be her friends and she doesn’t want me as one…well, that’s ok…I’ve dealt with this kind of thing forever.
Help her…she doesn’t want to hear from me so I will leave her alone…don’t YOU do the same.
Sometimes people need a scapegoat…bhhhahhaaahhhahhhaaa
(that’s my goat sound.)
B
May 11@ 9:15
F7
Why did my msg post so many times weird…lol
B
May 12@ 7:11
Kristin
I thought it was funny F7;)
<3
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Censorship?! Vs Editing?!
I had to delete my last blog due to the fact that I was concerned for my safety.
I have had more than several people approach me via private message enraged at what I have said. I usually keep these things to myself though and go on with my silly badself.
I’ve also had people report my blog as offensive, many times.
Note…I find nothing offensive about what I write.
I always win though with a few quick typed words…qwerty style.
I try to keep names out of my blog. My goal is truly not to anger someone. It’s to share the things that happen in my life….and if you just happen to walk into my life…well…
YOU DID IT WITH FREE WILL!!!
…if you are my friend that changed the name from the kiss and drop to piss and drop lane at the school…
…if you are my friend and get all out of sort because I didn’t answer the phone and sent you a text instead (my bad)…
…if you are my friend and stood me up (your bad;)
…if you went on a date or three with me...
…if I don’t know you and you approach me and tell me you’ve been talkin' smack about me…
…if you are someone I know and constantly bitches about everything…
…if you’re my good friends boyfriend and you are a dick…
So I censored myself.
I have said I edit my blog, the good and the bad.
I edit to keep people in my life safe.
Some of my friends are bad ass MoFos who need to be kept safe.
Then I got to thinkin’.
I removed my filter…from my voice and now I am more free than ever...
Is it ok for me to censor my words on my blog?
Well, I all ready DO!……..I just call it editing.
I am in the midst of writing the book of MY life. I will always and forever keep my friends safe though…deep breath people!
…oh wait, what could anyone possibly be worried about?
I ONLY have 12 followers!
If you are not my friend…and have not been nice to me?
I don’t know…?...
I’m not a hateful being but I have been known to be a woman with a wrath that is mightier than that of an average woman.
The power I have behind, in front and around me is exceptional…but I have a hard time with hate…
…Routinely the people that have made me so angry, that impede me and make me livid…
I forget their names.
…like the OWC president at Langley that year…Oh, I couldn’t stand her. She was such a bitch. I can’t even remember that fuckers name!
So I am at this impasse censorship vs editing…Is there a difference?
Right now I think yes.
Censorship is on someone else’s terms.
I grew up in a country where censorship was…..respected...and the places I visited…if you didn’t censor yourself you could land in jail.
I know I would not be comfortable ever going back ever.
Editing though is on my terms.
My book will be edited, not censored.
I will NOT censor myself and you will learn one day all about me.
…I’ll just edit my friends…later perhaps I might write fictional stories about my friends. Holy shit…ahhh the stories…I do love you all!!! and I will never hurt you though.
FreewillEdit vs Someone else’s will Censorship ……………….Has someone won for now?
Or will I forget their name because I find them so forgettable….?
A few years from now?…or maybe one?… maybe 5? maybe never?
…I only have 12 readers… is anyone really following this shit?
I have had more than several people approach me via private message enraged at what I have said. I usually keep these things to myself though and go on with my silly badself.
I’ve also had people report my blog as offensive, many times.
Note…I find nothing offensive about what I write.
I always win though with a few quick typed words…qwerty style.
I try to keep names out of my blog. My goal is truly not to anger someone. It’s to share the things that happen in my life….and if you just happen to walk into my life…well…
YOU DID IT WITH FREE WILL!!!
…if you are my friend that changed the name from the kiss and drop to piss and drop lane at the school…
…if you are my friend and get all out of sort because I didn’t answer the phone and sent you a text instead (my bad)…
…if you are my friend and stood me up (your bad;)
…if you went on a date or three with me...
…if I don’t know you and you approach me and tell me you’ve been talkin' smack about me…
…if you are someone I know and constantly bitches about everything…
…if you’re my good friends boyfriend and you are a dick…
So I censored myself.
I have said I edit my blog, the good and the bad.
I edit to keep people in my life safe.
Some of my friends are bad ass MoFos who need to be kept safe.
Then I got to thinkin’.
I removed my filter…from my voice and now I am more free than ever...
Is it ok for me to censor my words on my blog?
Well, I all ready DO!……..I just call it editing.
I am in the midst of writing the book of MY life. I will always and forever keep my friends safe though…deep breath people!
…oh wait, what could anyone possibly be worried about?
I ONLY have 12 followers!
If you are not my friend…and have not been nice to me?
I don’t know…?...
I’m not a hateful being but I have been known to be a woman with a wrath that is mightier than that of an average woman.
The power I have behind, in front and around me is exceptional…but I have a hard time with hate…
…Routinely the people that have made me so angry, that impede me and make me livid…
I forget their names.
…like the OWC president at Langley that year…Oh, I couldn’t stand her. She was such a bitch. I can’t even remember that fuckers name!
So I am at this impasse censorship vs editing…Is there a difference?
Right now I think yes.
Censorship is on someone else’s terms.
I grew up in a country where censorship was…..respected...and the places I visited…if you didn’t censor yourself you could land in jail.
I know I would not be comfortable ever going back ever.
Editing though is on my terms.
My book will be edited, not censored.
I will NOT censor myself and you will learn one day all about me.
…I’ll just edit my friends…later perhaps I might write fictional stories about my friends. Holy shit…ahhh the stories…I do love you all!!! and I will never hurt you though.
Freewill
Or will I forget their name because I find them so forgettable….?
A few years from now?…or maybe one?… maybe 5? maybe never?
…I only have 12 readers… is anyone really following this shit?
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Just Show The Fuck Up…And I’ll Be Fine, I Think.
Last night I unloaded on a Man I hardly know, via text. It’s something I rarely do but lately everything I have been through regarding Men has made me question myself and what it is about me that Men find so easy to reject.
I know rejection is a strong word. This is how I see it and it happens to me over and over.
Perhaps it started when My Ex rejected my feelings and I found out I and my feelings were not a priority.
…..
Men scare the shit out of me sometimes. I’m not physically afraid of them…I’m afraid of the unspoken boundaries and where I belong in their lives. I’m afraid of stepping on their toes and ruining the remote semblance of any relationship I even have a chance of having with them.
I asked my girlfriend…
…”I just wanna ask him if he’s even ‘into’ me. ‘Cause I can’t tell at all.”
Note...If I am even thinking that perhaps he’s ‘not that into me’, then he probably isn’t right?
Oh, but I’m a dreamer.
I had my big party Friday night and my date sent me a text around 7pm…the party started at 7:30…
He wasn’t gonna be able to make it. He had a legitimate reason. I played it as cool as I could. F1 and F2 were already at my place though and they could see I was visibly upset.
I had foreseen that he wouldn’t be there so I had mentally prepared myself for the inevitable. It still hurt though.
If I told you how many times I have been stood up it would probably shock you. Each time it happens I do my best to not let people know how much it bothers me. Inside though it tears me up and I wonder if there will be enough glue or tape to put me back together. I’m falling to pieces here.
This isn’t the first time I’ve run into this problem.
When I invited Huckleberry out for date night I KNEW he wasn’t gonna make it.
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-social-life.html
I heard from Huckleberry… a few days later via text...
…’Checked into ur site for the first time in forever.saw my nickname. And saw that we fought? I didn’t remember us fighting. Are the facts of all your posts So inaccurate? Surprised but not really…As long as u feel guide about you, right? Who cares about anyone else? Goodnight.’
I have not responded to Huckleberry’s text. It’s my blog, my point of view…and he has no idea how much he hurt me when he judged me. He can deny that he judged me to himself but it all came down to my life and how I live it…
I just feel that men think I’m invulnerable or maybe they just don’t care about the fact that I DO have feelings.
One of my single girlfriends and I have compared our relationships…
Her...she has had the nicest boyfriends…they are generous, kind and pay her attention.
Me…"I’m just happy they show the fuck up"….and usually it’s on their own time schedule, not mine.
Then there was this other time when I had invited a friend over who I had been in home dating (code word booty call) off and on for sometime…we had shared a lot with each other and a lot of time together as well. Then our relationship ended and I would only hear from him when he was having problems with his girlfriends. I was never his girl friend.
So I had invited him over for dinner, he accepted. The time comes and I wait and wait…he never showed up. Just didn’t show up. He told me later he thought it would be better to not show up than create drama. Really?!
He probably would have created LESS drama by letting me know ahead of time so I wouldn’t have gone to through cooking and cleaning.
Oh…I heard from him Saturday night…He’s probably having girl friend issues again…I will most likely hear from him this weekend as well…He will NOT be invited over.
So back to last night…
…maybe now you can see why I have felt so rejected by Men. Afraid to even ask them a simple question that might be construed as…
…”Here we go again…another female with issues.”
I don’t want a key to your place and I sure as hell don’t want you to have a key to mine.
I don’t want to move in or get married…
I have set my standards so low all you have to do is…
…just show the fuck up…and on-time would be nice…DO this and the Unholy Trinity of Me, Myself and I wouldn’t HAVE any issues.
Note…my guy friend handled me and the mess that I am very well. Although now I know there is a chance that I won’t hear from him again…I HAD to put it on the line, finally, and not be scared. I figure I’ve handled this much rejection I suppose I can take more.
I know rejection is a strong word. This is how I see it and it happens to me over and over.
Perhaps it started when My Ex rejected my feelings and I found out I and my feelings were not a priority.
…..
Men scare the shit out of me sometimes. I’m not physically afraid of them…I’m afraid of the unspoken boundaries and where I belong in their lives. I’m afraid of stepping on their toes and ruining the remote semblance of any relationship I even have a chance of having with them.
I asked my girlfriend…
…”I just wanna ask him if he’s even ‘into’ me. ‘Cause I can’t tell at all.”
Note...If I am even thinking that perhaps he’s ‘not that into me’, then he probably isn’t right?
Oh, but I’m a dreamer.
I had my big party Friday night and my date sent me a text around 7pm…the party started at 7:30…
He wasn’t gonna be able to make it. He had a legitimate reason. I played it as cool as I could. F1 and F2 were already at my place though and they could see I was visibly upset.
I had foreseen that he wouldn’t be there so I had mentally prepared myself for the inevitable. It still hurt though.
If I told you how many times I have been stood up it would probably shock you. Each time it happens I do my best to not let people know how much it bothers me. Inside though it tears me up and I wonder if there will be enough glue or tape to put me back together. I’m falling to pieces here.
This isn’t the first time I’ve run into this problem.
When I invited Huckleberry out for date night I KNEW he wasn’t gonna make it.
The night of date night that he decided not to go I had given him an out. (maybe I shouldn’t have been so kind. Although now I’m glad I did and I got to know his person better because of it.) I knew he had been through something ‘personal’ but it was over and done…in my eyes he just was looking for a reason not to come out with me…in public.
http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-social-life.html
I heard from Huckleberry… a few days later via text...
…’Checked into ur site for the first time in forever.saw my nickname. And saw that we fought? I didn’t remember us fighting. Are the facts of all your posts So inaccurate? Surprised but not really…As long as u feel guide about you, right? Who cares about anyone else? Goodnight.’
I have not responded to Huckleberry’s text. It’s my blog, my point of view…and he has no idea how much he hurt me when he judged me. He can deny that he judged me to himself but it all came down to my life and how I live it…
I just feel that men think I’m invulnerable or maybe they just don’t care about the fact that I DO have feelings.
One of my single girlfriends and I have compared our relationships…
Her...she has had the nicest boyfriends…they are generous, kind and pay her attention.
Me…"I’m just happy they show the fuck up"….and usually it’s on their own time schedule, not mine.
Then there was this other time when I had invited a friend over who I had been in home dating (code word booty call) off and on for sometime…we had shared a lot with each other and a lot of time together as well. Then our relationship ended and I would only hear from him when he was having problems with his girlfriends. I was never his girl friend.
So I had invited him over for dinner, he accepted. The time comes and I wait and wait…he never showed up. Just didn’t show up. He told me later he thought it would be better to not show up than create drama. Really?!
He probably would have created LESS drama by letting me know ahead of time so I wouldn’t have gone to through cooking and cleaning.
Oh…I heard from him Saturday night…He’s probably having girl friend issues again…I will most likely hear from him this weekend as well…He will NOT be invited over.
So back to last night…
…maybe now you can see why I have felt so rejected by Men. Afraid to even ask them a simple question that might be construed as…
…”Here we go again…another female with issues.”
I don’t want a key to your place and I sure as hell don’t want you to have a key to mine.
I don’t want to move in or get married…
I have set my standards so low all you have to do is…
…just show the fuck up…and on-time would be nice…DO this and the Unholy Trinity of Me, Myself and I wouldn’t HAVE any issues.
Note…my guy friend handled me and the mess that I am very well. Although now I know there is a chance that I won’t hear from him again…I HAD to put it on the line, finally, and not be scared. I figure I’ve handled this much rejection I suppose I can take more.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Addiction and Oxycodone
I was watching the movie Traffic awhile ago. A marvelous film about the drug war, Mexico and more importantly addiction.
Since my knee surgery I have had to take Oxycodone.
Oxycodone is the generic version of Percocet and is HIGHLY addictive.
I can’t take over the counter pain relievers because it deters the ‘dead people’ part in my knee from adhering to the holes that were drilled into my bones and then inserted and held there with screws.
…and to be totally honest I don’t think they would do a damn thing for me anyway.
I am a very active woman with a lot on my plate and by 12 in the afternoon all I usually want to do ice my knee so it’s numb. It hurts all the time. Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night with shooting pains. I live in a split level four story house and to get anywhere I have to go up and down stairs. I also workout a little harder than the average woman due to my vanity and I want my leg muscles back in the worst way.
"Take 1 to 2 tablets by mouth every 4 hours as needed”
Well shit, if I did that I couldn’t get anything done.I have people to do and things to be. I have things to do and places to be.
Oxycodone makes me all glassy eyed and and I can’t even feel my knee when I take them…but because I can’t take anything else if I have a headache or any other pain…it’s the only thing I can take.
…So, I would cut them up, into halves and quarters…
I wouldn’t take 2 at a time but sometimes I would take 1 1/2. There were a few(3) days I had to take more than 2, but I wouldn’t allow myself anymore than a total of 3 1/2 a day…those were bad days in the life of my knee and pain management.
I spoke to my Girlfriends and PhysicalTerrorist Therapist about my concerns about becoming addicted to this drug and how I could manage my pain better.
F1…”We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, are you sure you don’t already have a problem.” (I think I paraphrased that…but that is what I heard.)
Me…”That is why I am telling you about it and my fears I have OF it.”
MyTerrorist Therapist just told me to slow down and is having me do a few things differently. There IS NO slowing down for me though.
Yesterday I had to call the nurse about a refill or the go ahead to take something other than Oxycodone…I WANT something different because I’m scared to death and don’t want to turn into some pill popping waste.
Me…”I want the fame, I don’t want the addictions that comes with it though.”
I’m now taking a new drug…I’ll see how I do.
Since my knee surgery I have had to take Oxycodone.
Oxycodone is the generic version of Percocet and is HIGHLY addictive.
I can’t take over the counter pain relievers because it deters the ‘dead people’ part in my knee from adhering to the holes that were drilled into my bones and then inserted and held there with screws.
…and to be totally honest I don’t think they would do a damn thing for me anyway.
I am a very active woman with a lot on my plate and by 12 in the afternoon all I usually want to do ice my knee so it’s numb. It hurts all the time. Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night with shooting pains. I live in a split level four story house and to get anywhere I have to go up and down stairs. I also workout a little harder than the average woman due to my vanity and I want my leg muscles back in the worst way.
"Take 1 to 2 tablets by mouth every 4 hours as needed”
Well shit, if I did that I couldn’t get anything done.
Oxycodone makes me all glassy eyed and and I can’t even feel my knee when I take them…but because I can’t take anything else if I have a headache or any other pain…it’s the only thing I can take.
…So, I would cut them up, into halves and quarters…
I wouldn’t take 2 at a time but sometimes I would take 1 1/2. There were a few(3) days I had to take more than 2, but I wouldn’t allow myself anymore than a total of 3 1/2 a day…those were bad days in the life of my knee and pain management.
I spoke to my Girlfriends and Physical
F1…”We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, are you sure you don’t already have a problem.” (I think I paraphrased that…but that is what I heard.)
Me…”That is why I am telling you about it and my fears I have OF it.”
My
Yesterday I had to call the nurse about a refill or the go ahead to take something other than Oxycodone…I WANT something different because I’m scared to death and don’t want to turn into some pill popping waste.
Me…”I want the fame, I don’t want the addictions that comes with it though.”
I’m now taking a new drug…I’ll see how I do.
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