Catharsis

A while back the earth shook beneath my feet and not just once. 

I was fat and happy as they say and then I wasn't. Or maybe I just thought I had been.

(As you read know I'm fine now.)

I became ill. 

I have vertigo and fall to the right. Always to the right; it can be disconcerting.

I forgot how to cook and organize. I forgot how to time manage.

I lost 50lbs in 3 months. 

My eyes couldn't handle the light. No, it wasn't a migraine. It was just my eyes.

I can hear the electricity and sometimes have to unplug things because it's such an irritating sound. I have super hearing, always have it just got worse...or better.

I was very frightened. 

It was my stress and anxiety manifesting physically in me.

I had been tip toeing around shards of glass unsure of every step.

Chaos manages me whether I like it or not. With all the grace I can muster I must manage my chaos. I'm lacking in the grace department. (That is a joke.)

When I stand naked in front of you for you to see my flaws I am most free; in turn I hope to free you from being alone. We are only human. To be human is great. It is also a great responsibility.

On a normal regular day I'm like a macro dose of Ayahuasca to those around me.

Fires should be stared at. Bowls of water for gazing. 

Introspection should take you to the deepest fathoms of your soul...and I hope I've transported others to places they could never have imagined, brought comfort when need and acceptance when others shun.

I can't hide my feelings if I'm sad, angry or happy. 

The truth of me is easy to see. 

I speak out loud. I live out loud. I question everything. I see the beauty in all. I also see the pain. There is no light if there is no darkness.

I believe in the grounding and the spirit flight. Call me crazy but I know I'm blessed even when my life is out of control. I control me.

Why do I worry? Because somebody has too. The future matters. The Authorities on Earth aren't doing a good job. I don't know if you've noticed. I'm talking about the WHOLE world. People are hysterical and need real guidance not control.

I did not use the word Leaders, I specifically use the word Authorities.

We need leaders not manipulators. 

I'm a believer in Chaos theory and it works for me. For in chaos there is order. 

If you are Atlas, and I know you are, please don't shrug.

I'm not rebellious but man will not govern me for I am conscious. This is a tenet of my life

The Gift of Forgiveness

One of the blessings of humanity is the gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness is hardest for ourselves because we often can't move beyond our own doings. 

The soldier that has to deal with the death... whom do they blame? 

The addict that fought their way out of an abyss, but after they see the light, then they look back and say, "Oh no what have I done?" Who do they blame? 

Convicted felons live forever with their crimes, literally, just as the victims. How long do you continue to be a victim? 

The border lines between many countries have often been drawn by those with no interests other than their own. It was done so long ago it's only remembered in stories from our Fathers. The people that live on one side are mad at the other, for things neither had anything to do. 

The Children of Earth shoulder the blame of the past and carry falsely the burdens of others long dead.

Responsibility for ones actions is key to forgiveness; actual real personal responsibility, but to know it you must accept it in yourself first. None of us is perfect. 

We must leave room for learning and forgiveness...for ourselves and others. 

Some people are stuck in an eternal loop of a hell of their own making. 

Where do you put the blame? 

All the while the answer was inside themselves.  

Personal responsibility for one's own actions is often the hardest to accept. 

To blame no one...but to just love. 

Blame is one of the children of hate. 

What kind of future are you making for the children of love and peace?

It's only your true self that can forgive and not blame.  

The swaths of humans on this planet Earth have not been here long. 

We have only begun. 

To understand, and most importantly accept we are just animals that must coincide together in a symbiotic relationship with all this dirt, metal, bears, and virus. 

We have no choice. We do have a choice how we walk forward in to the future. Only the past you can't control.

The good and bad is in all of us. 

I know this to be true, this is part of my tenet of life. 

We choose to be good. 

We choose to be bad. 

We choose to be happy. 

We choose to be sad.

Our life is under our control, even if just bits of it. 

We must as a people (humans as a whole) forgive. 

When the tribes of the people can stand up and say no the petulant blame we have the best chance to move forward. 

The truth of horror that happened to someones grandfather is real. 

Forgiveness lives in each one of us; it's you that are in charge of it. 

Ownership of individual choices is key to your personal happiness but to get there you must forgive.

It's a beautiful feeling when we can own the good things. 

In the depths of the hell of our own bad choices.

 

God lives in us. When we ask God for forgiveness if we aren't truthful God knows it. 

God lives in all of us. 

We our own God, or devil of our choices.

We've lost religion and with it guidance.

It's right here 

Waiting for you 

Be still and listen

So long Joe Rogan and thanks for all the fish

 I've just managed to untangle myself from the fetal position after hours of lady cramps. I'm fucking 48 and still dealing with this trash blessing. Seriously though, while reeling in pain as I curse my ancestors a glimmer of light shown through into my dark unforgiving soul. 

Joe Rogan's new pod cast!

His guest is, Douglas Murray. I know nada about him. (Sometimes it's more fun to jump into the water to figure out the temp... figuratively. If I don't say figuratively someone inevitably will harm themselves with their own stupidity but blame someone else 'cause how can someone be actually responsible for their own actions. That's just retarded.)

Brilliant conversations...thought provoking. Idea sharing.

Idea sharing; it used to be a normal thing. I think. I read about philosophers and that's what Universities were supposed to be but I think we can all agree that Universities are not about Idea sharing. If you don't believe that please reach out and ask questions. A simple goggle search will help. You have to stop listening to what people say is happening and actually see it yourselves. Which has been made even harder these days. 

Anyway...

There is a difference between male and female and it's manifesting itself right now. It's fucking tangible bitchs! 

I'm a woman. Am I different then men? Hells yeah I am. Am I better because I'm a woman? No. Am I less? Who the fuck would put that thought in anyones mind literally retarded civil society. Depends on what we are talking about. That answer is bothersome to 'the left(?)' because it asks questions that are opposed to their thought programing. 

But we haven't been able to talk about it. I have 'cause apparently I stopped giving any fucks since birth much to my parents dismay and dare I say civil society that I have unapolgetcly also been a part of the decay of the aforementioned and what have you. I'm sorry not sorry mom and dad.

I love talk radio. I always have. We didn't have a T.V. and when we did get one it was only Star Trek and some arabic Sesame St. For real. No Lie.  I'll listen to sports talk, car talk but my favorite is political talk. Not real conversations in that I think they should be.

Then walks in Covid and Joe Rogan into my world. Real conversations between real people. Some really smart people discussing intelligent thoughts and ideas in a genuine manner. I arrived late to the party.

The party of Ideas not dogma.

Bret Weinstein's Dark Horse with Ben Shapiro and ton's of others you should be listening too. Not necessarily agreeing with but listen. And still your mind and hear as well. 

Since the infection of Covid on society in the US we have a problem that is larger than is comfortable to talk about. Out loud. Without being called a kook or conspiracy theorist or a Karen. And seriously fuck you all with your Karen shit. Here is another fucking label for you, you pansy ass bitch. If you had an ounce of knowledge from neurons actually firing I'd be surprised let alone a pico amount of actual pretend sympathy you say you have of which I've seen none. I'd like to be the Woody Harrelson of words, smashing garbage tourist glass that who the hell buys in a break between killing zombies? but your dumb ass word terrorists won't let me say the truth.  What people should be saying is fucking grow up and start thinking about your great grandchildren and what kind of actual real world with thought police shit and we have to start managing it now.  It sounds crazy but it's true. You have to pay attention to what world leaders are actually saying not one of the media or a tweet or a headline. Do you have the time to watch the cue of your Facebook account? We need to pay attention to people with authentic ideas, in historical context, and most important how people think and why they are thinking about the trash critical theory or feelings. And still your mind and hear as well . What are your local civil leaders doing and saying? Are you reading their proposed ideas on how to re engineer our communities. I want you, personally, to look up your city council members proposals or talk to them if you can. While looking this up keep in mind world management. The UN? The EU? The Lizard people from Venus?!!! Joking aside you need to pay attention and the internet isn't the real world. 

I'm not sure if my digression there was helpful or not but it's a way... 

Like many people out there looking for some sanity in a very chaotic time....Don't you sometimes just wish you were one of the dolphins that got to escape? You aren't though so be grateful for the fish. That totally makes sense to me and if you didn't read the Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy well...that's just dumb. (The fish is knowledge silly and we need to feed our minds.) Or maybe you aren't high enough...holy shit that was a joke and it wouldn't matter anyway.

 

Welcome Home

We do not get a choice that we have life.

We do get to choose what we do with our life.

Welcome home.

 

The Greatest Conspiracy Theory Of All Time.

We all know global warming is a hoax. If you didn't know it was made up they made it obvious by starting to prosecute people that speak out against it. If you have to prosecute people for speaking the truth then you are seriously hiding something ...something large. (Pollution is a different subject.)

http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/03/10/us-attorney-general-we-may-prosecute-climate-change-deniers/

This whole theory starts, or not...I'm not sure where it begins, with global warming (I know they changed their 'name' to climate change. Smart move because our climate changes and we can all agree on that.)
So the government wants to give billions of dollars to less developed countries meanwhile taking control of big business through regulations via the EPA and whatever other alphabet soup agency can get their fingers enmeshed.
In easier words, taking US and any other western countries tax dollars and handing it out.
A bit of info...the government has no money other than what it takes from you and 'less developed countries' are more crooked than a question mark drawn between your ego and IQ.

Common core where the goal is to dumb down every 12th grade student to graduate at a 9th grade level. Research something for yourself...really research it. Don't listen to the news ..they aren't on your side.

Agenda 21 -control of all water ways...even a ditch that holds rain water, food production, housing ...Or 'sustainable development'. Have you noticed you have seen the word, sustainability, often lately. It means to be able to maintain at a certain level.
The Global Chieftains, of which President Obama is a main player, want to sustain all that you do...they want to control you.
If you don't know about Agenda 21, Ambassador Bush, then President (41) signed the UN non binding agreement. You should google it and then it should worry you. Side note...did you wonder why the Bush's aren't supporting Trump? He's not part of the club. He calls them out.
Google the new HUD rules, Affirmatively furthering fair housing,...I want YOU to look things up. You will be smarter and more informed for it. It wants section 8 housing in middle class neighborhoods. Taking YOUR money and filling the house next to you with someone that can't afford the ANY house. Is crime in poorer neighborhoods correlation or causation?
The equalization of communities. ...except the really rich and those in charge.

Have you ever read 1984? Harrison Bergeron? They are like instruction manuals for the left. They were written as a precautionary tail though. 1984-Everyone wears the same clothes, men and women. The country is fighting one nation and then the next week it's a different nation but everyone pretends that they weren't fighting the first. It's insane. You have your 2 minutes of hate...one of my favorites that the left has take up. HB-mindnumbing sounds to stop you from thinking on your own. Glasses that hinder your eyesight because you have 20/20 vision and other don't... let's make everyone equal. You should read them because it's what's happening now...

Ok...I'm all over the place but I'm talking conspiracy here so it works ...right?

Now lets go to this transgender thing...I'm not going it to details of the left entertaining a mental disease as a civil rights movement because wait...oops. I wasn't going to get into it.
It's called the non-bianary movement ...remove sex (even though we all know there are big differences in males and females. Blood comes out of my vagina every month...) by seeming to shame society by thinking that you can choose your sex. Which you can't, we are human.

Get rid of our borders! Let everyone in. Destroy the American way of life. Destroy the western way of life. No western country should have borders. Have you seen what's happening in Europe? The window lickers are in charge and the animals are starting to take over via chaos.
The Global Chieftains want this chaos so they let the terrorism by fundamentalist Muslims happen. Isis is growing. They, US, just bombs them some and puts 'safety measures'  in order (ORE- rules of engagement) makes it look like they are hurting them. We could destroy them in 4 weeks if we wanted. We could destroy them in one day if we wanted. We have done neither.

The Global Chieftains want a one world order. They started slowly and have now have turned it up a notch. It's easy when you have mindless numb nuts heading every cause the mentally insane can conjure. Was that mean? If you think that was mean you are the problem.

The greatest conspiracy theory of all time is a one world order. (It's not an original ...it IS happening though.)
No countries.
Everyone wears the same grey jumpsuit.
You don't get a gender to display.
No more family unit...gay or straight.
Equality for all by making everyone equally dumb and poor.
Wait a minute!
That's sorta like a communist one world order?!!!!
Hold the press...the great equalizer...communism. So pure. So ...how many people died during the Bolshevik revolution? Communism in general?
90 million+ people.

I like my freedom. Do you?
Will you admit that this theory is no longer a theory but something is actually happening?

I typed this from my aluminum room to save me from the EMP's and I took my battery out of my phone so the government couldn't hear me typing...oh shit. I typed this on my Mac, via blogger on the great wide internets that already monitors all I say. ;) That was a joke about the truth. My theory was solid a few years ago...it's no longer a theory.

The Religious Re-Awakaning of Islam

The USA has a massive problem.  The problem is the rampant lies, omissions and attacks on people telling the truth.    
The truth isn't good. It's uncomfortable to the political left so they ignore it and anyone telling the truth is crucified ...not literally but I will tell you who is being literally crucified...
In June of 2014 nine men were crucified in Syria by the Islamic State.
In October of 2014 a 17 year old boy was crucified in Raqaa for apostasy. (Apostasy is a RELIGIOUS term....but don't worry...it's the religion of peace...)
In January 17 men were crucified.
Should I go on?
Nah...I think I've made my point.

Slavery...there is only one religion being practiced that has instructions on how to handle sex slaves.
"O Prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their dowers; and those (slaves) whom thy right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war whom Allah has assigned to thee"  
"And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves..."  

...but please bring up slavery in the USA...cause it's been out lawed for some time. ...and no,  racism in the US is not institutionalized ... you don't know what that means if you say it's true. Unless you are discussing what's happening on university campuses or blacklivesmatter. That my friends is actual racism.
In the UAE, Saudi Arabia,  Pakistan , India, Chad, Nigeria, Syria...slavery is alive and well.
...but please bring up that Thomas Jefferson owned slaves and do your best to erase his name from every monument.

You think you're morally superior to me because you use a certain hashtag?
That "bringbackourgirls" hashtag doesn't make you look morally superior. It shows how shallow you truly are.
No my friend...when you can acknowledge that the Islamic state ...and Islamic community will throw a man off a roof because they are gay then you will be in a better state of mind.
"If two men among you are guilty of lewdness, punish them both. If they repent and amend, Leave them alone" 
"...For ye practice your lusts on men in preference to women: ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds.... And we rained down on them a shower (of brimstone)" 
The Christians aren't terrorizing the masses so if you bring up the bible you have no argument.

Wanna talk about the war on women? That all women in the religion of Islam are worth half that of a man is a fact. That if a woman is raped she needs the man to admit it or prove it with 4 male witnesses. Sounds sorta like what Hillary Clinton requires from her husbands rape victims. Oh Snap!
Wanna talk about the war on women some more? Don't let anyone other than your family members see your face because if a stranger does and he rapes you...it's your fault.
Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Afganistan, Iran, Qatar, Pakistan..the UAE ...are all ruled by Sharia law.

Sharia law is awesome for freedom...nope. It's the opposite.

The Fort Hood terrorist attack took the Obama administration 5 years to admit that it was terrorism ...not work place violence.
That's a problem with our government...that knows but shields the truth from you when it's blatant.
The Obama administration is glaringly putting you at risk and does not care for your safety.
The Muslim brother hood...a terrorist organization, has been given multiple seats at the American governments table under the Obama administration.
The Muslim brotherhood that was involved with the Nazis. Yeah...all buddy, buddy but please don't bring that up because it's the TRUTH!
The political correct nature of the left is making it practically impossible to say the truth without being called names or harassed.
Political correctness has been the start of the unraveling of this great nation...where freedom of speech...and religion are paramount.
Please don't bring your bible to Saudi Arabia...things won't go well for you.
Global warming has nothing at all to do with terrorism. The middle east has been hot as shit for thousands of years, I'm pretty sure I'm on target here.

The western school of thought of what a moderate muslim is is different when referring to the Islamic community. By western standards moderate muslims aren't true muslims and are considered hypocrites. Think about that. Western thought and reasoning is not the same.
Islam discusses when you should lie. It's called Taqiyya. For reals. I'm not making this up to make Islam look bad.
Muslims are permitted to lie if it's good for Islam.

What should scare you the most is that there has been a religious re-awakening of Islam. That's scary because when you hear some talking head say but the Koran says...
"Kill one man and you have killed them all."
They are lying to you! The quote is...
"We ordained for the Children of Israel that is any one slew a person-unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land-it would be as if he slew the whole people."
That is sick and gives the ok for terrorism.

Wanna argue with me that it's Bush's fault or American politics in the region? Then you don't know what you are talking about in any way what's so ever.
How far back do you want to go? ..Because Islam, true Islam, is anything but the religion of peace and it's being embraced all over the world. ...and people are dying for it.

A Melting Pot and the American Communist Revolution

The University of Michigan spent $16,000 on a campaign to help tell students what they could and couldn't say because those words/phrases might be offensive.

This program is "supposed to help everyone FEEL inclusive."...to educate not regulate.
Feelings- an emotional state or reaction.
..."...it will improve the day to day language...education around words that are offensive."
Offensive- causing someone to feel deeply hurt, upset or angry. (Those are feelings.)

The University Of California is busying condemning 'microaggressions'. Microaggressions are a bunch of hurt feelings as far as I'm concerned. I don't care about your feelings.

I tell my Children, "You get to choose. You can be happy, sad, angry, mad. Those feelings are choices."
If you want to live a happy life you should pick happy feelings.

"I believe the most qualified person should get the job."- Microaggression. No shit.
I suppose that means what? The person who is of simple mind should get the job? I shouldn't have said 'simple mind'...my bad. I'm not allowed to say retarded even in proper context of the meaning of the word so I'll say "simple mind". I sound mean no matter what I say.
I got ahead of myself pointing out the past censorship of a word that has led to this farce of political correctness that almost everyone of you authorized.
Back to the most qualified...sometimes the most qualified does not get the job. Sometimes the people hiring for a certain position have...wait for it...
...affermative action. You are also prohibited for saying stuff about affirmative action.

I'm not going to tell you all the asinine microaggresions...
You can read them here.
.http://www.ucop.edu/academic-personnel-programs/_files/seminars/Tool_Recognizing_Microaggressions.pdf

...And now on to my title...
"A melting pot and the American Communist Revoulution", " Melting pot" is also considered a microaggression.
No lie.
What's the matter with these people that ARE IN CHARGE OF EDUCATION AT A MAJOR UNIVERSITIES?!
Control the language. Control the people.
A Socialist system instead of a Capitalist system.
After the Russian revolution the Russian Social Democratic Labour Party (RSDLP) came in to power. A Socialist/Marxists party that grew and split and changed per Lenin into the Russian Communist Party (RCP). Things went down hill from there. The banning of phrases and words...don't say anything against the party. Not even a whisper.
We are, right now, in the midst of the American Communist Revolution masquerading as Political Correctness, Progressivism, Income inequality statements, forcible of seizure of goods...Common Core education 'standards'.

This is THE greatest country that has ever existed on this planet to date.
There are many reasons for my above statement.

#1. Our Constitution and Bill of Rights....(which has been impeded and we need to take it back).
https://www.constitutionfacts.com/content/constitution/files/Constitution_BillOfRights.pdf

#2. We are a country of laws not rulers. Our Constitution was written in mind that men are imperfect and when a man (I should say person to be PC...LOL) has power he will abuse it.

#3. We are a country of immigrants. This is a very important part of our countries greatness. It's also a problem because our countries laws have been hijacked by politically correctness. Our own elected twice President is ignoring and dismissing our (and his) laws.
I'm not supposed to say 'illegal immigrant' even though they entered this country and ignored our immigration laws..because they were inconvenient? Sorry for your inconvenience.
Our forefathers came across the oceans, Atlantic and Pacific, to build this nation. To make a home better than the one they left for their Children and Children's Children.

We are a melting pot. We should be proud of that fact.

Pho restaurants dot street corners.
We love taco Tuesdays.
Did you know Midori, a melon liquor, is actually the Japanese word for green?
Our families are mixes of different nations.
We celebrate Cinco de Mayo and St Patricks day with more enthusiasm than Mexico or Ireland.
Pizza...don't get me started.

Our Immigrant forefathers brought with them the love of their birth countries with the knowledge that there was more out there...more opportunity...more freedom.
They also assimilated. Some of them maybe took a little long but they did in the end.

My own father would attend Mass in Polish as a young man. We celebrate Easter with Polish food, we call it the Cabbage and Porkfest. I also have a great deal of Scandinavian heritage but the only attachment to that is names of family members...like one of my brothers...Thor. I also have Russian heritage and the story (I'm still working on researching my family history) is that during the Bolshevik Revolution my family fled.
We all speak English...properly (I'm an annunciation snob). My Children are Peruvian, Korean and a a mix of black/caucasian/hispanic.
My mom's family had a story how her ancestors, native Cherokee, walked along the trail of tears. I have a necklace that was given to me that has Job's tears seeds. There was this loooooong story, and very sad, where it came from...It was all a lie. I took an ancestral DNA test and found out Elizabeth Warren has more native heritage than me. I'm 100% European. My moms family I guess was just made of really good story tellers.

If we don't learn from our ancestors past we will let that happen here. People ran from Communism. If they didn't they maybe didn't understand that Communism is not for the leaders but for the people.
China
Cuba
...Venezuela is a fantastic conventional example. "Do you have a square to spare?"

Our nation is a melting pot and that is WHY we are exceptional...the greatest of all the world coming together to create and make One Nation under God with liberty and justice for all.

All of our different flavors blend to become one with each essence creating umami.

...but please never forget we are laws first.

The American Communist Revolution is creating division by eliminating 'melting pot'.