TCMCEA

As a Parent to a 6, 7 and 9 year old you would think The Tooth Fairy and I are pretty tight.
This is not the case.
I am thinking about writing a letter to the…TCMCEA
The Children’s Mythical Creature Endowment Association

The TCMCEA has many members and they continually rape our wallets for the joys of our precious young.
The members of the TCMCEA you are most assuredly acquainted with…
…Santa
…The Easter Bunny
…Leprechauns
…The Tooth Fairy
You get the idea…

Anyway….
My poor 9 year old daughter, who is my oldest and therefore my evolving experiment in parenting keeps losing her teeth.
I am ALWAYS freaking out about it. I’m not a dentist. I have no clue how many teeth a child looses.

My Three Children had their biannual visit to the dentist today.
I learned several things. My 9 year old has many more teeth she will lose.
…and worst of all my youngest has a jacked up front tooth issue and most likely will be having surgery.

…So back to the Tooth Fairy and why we are not very tight…
She is always forgetting our house.

I know for a fact that there are many houses she likes to skip, to include my Ex’s house, so I don’t feel alone in my dislike of this lazy bitch.
She is supposed to be on a secret night mission.
Is it such a secret that it’s kept a secret from her?
NO! I know she’s been briefed.

I imagine all the consorts of the TCMCEA laying on lounge chairs on a beach in Barbados with fruity beverages with umbrellas in them talking smack about us parents and how gullible we are.
They have to have some sort of income…hell, they are in Barbados…and that place is expensive.
When they signed up I’m sure they were given an allowance for items, or money, or coins…and they are spending it on themselves!
We are gullible ‘cause we are doing ALL the work for them and they are on vacation…365/24/7!!!

What if we parents went on strike?
Do you wonder if the red phone would be brought to them and they would finally have to get up off their asses and do what they signed up for?
‘Cause as far as tooth Fairies go…
I think I am the worst replacement she could have ever picked!

Letting Go And Becoming Self-Reliant

Are you going to go through life as a victim?
…Or are you going to show the world the size of your CAJONES?!

After Divorce or any loss, learning to become Independent and Self Reliant can be one of the most difficult lessons of life.

You first have to go through the 5 steps…
…Denial and Isolation
…Anger
…Bargaining
…Depression
…Acceptance

I went through all those during my Marriage…the Divorce was MY Acceptance.
I went through them yet again…after my Divorce, except the bargaining one….I did it quickly, probably within a few months.

After you get through what feels like wandering in the midst of webs in a fog…you have to move forward and learn to make it on your own.

I was always dependent on someone and had never lived alone.

Note…My Ex was gone often so I learned a few things but how to manage somethings I found challenging.

During our marriage we both had our ‘stations in life’. I was wife who cooked, cleaned, kept the house and children. He took care of finances, cars and such.
I also depended on him to hold me when I was sad or down.

After my Divorce I had A LOT to learn…and I’m still learning.

Even though my Ex and I have an amicable relationship I have only called him a couple of times with a problem.

Note…I say this ‘cause I’m assuming here…I don’t actually recall doing any such thing.

After I moved into my house I got two flat tires in a week.
The first time it happened I removed the owners manual to my Honda Odyssey and read it.
It took me an hour to JUST get the tire off. Those bolt thingys lug nuts were on fucking tight! I was, I swear, jumping on the wrench crowbar, with all the force a 120lb woman can bring. I finally did it, all by my little bad-self.
The second time wasn’t as exciting.

I had never rented a car on my own. I have now.
I can change a regular light switch to a dimmer.

Then there are the finances…we all know I hate numbers and math but I have done well for someone who always had someone to pay the bills…

Note…Ok, he gives me money every month….but I have to manage it and it IS MINE.

I also have a real live financial advisor who manages my investments. Yes, I have funds and such. I have her because I don’t like doing those things…that’s part of the acceptance, knowing what you are capable of dealing with…

One of my stair banisters broke the other day. I fixed it by myself.
My computer got a virus. I got rid of it on my own.

Note…Someone had to help me with my DVD player…I hate shit like that.

I think THE most difficult hurdle to over come is being single after so many years.
To have no one to hold or hold back.
It’s just something you deal with.

I have just told you how independent I am. I have single girl friends that are just as more independent than me.
Not needing anyone is a powerful feeling.
As a female we are meant to be looked after…?
…depend on Men…?

Someone…called me a ‘Man Hater’…
I’m not…I love men.

I just don’t need one.

Note…Just because I don’t NEED one doesn’t mean I don’t WANT one.

Bridesmaids…NOT The Girl Version Of The Hangover!

All this fucking hype about Bridesmaids being some “hilarious” film I’m calling bull shit on.

You get me in the theater telling me it’s a ‘girls’ version of The Hangover???!!!

It’s not.

You want a real review?
It’s a GREAT film about ANNIE, a woman who’s life has not turned out the way she expected.

Note…This is something I GET!

She in Home Dates AKA Booty Call…with a total asshole. Her life is littered with debris from her past and her now.

Note…I saw a lot of myself in her…the whole in Home Dating shit…Hey, at least the guy I in Home Date…now… is…nice. I know he doesn’t want more from me and I am as cool as I can be….but I have decided I can’t get a date and if a date DOES show up they are trainwrecks!…So in Home Dating it is…although I would love to get out once in awhile, with a man and not just my girlfriends. (I’m scared, I think the guy I in Home Date will read this…but I truly understand I am in no way part of his life and won’t push it ‘cause Im ok with it…but if any one asked me out, I would hope it would be him.)

Annie is a poor soul that has had nothing gone right…they way we imagine it to be as little girls. Her business went bust, relationships are crap…and now her best friend is getting married and she is the Maid of Honor.
Lilly, the Woman getting married has a new friend who hinders the way and sabotages Annie throughout the film…in the slyest way.
There are characters I love…the Mom who just NEEDS to get to Vegas..and have some life…
….and others…
The Characters are the real woman I know that is why I love this film.

…but did I go to this film to reflect on my own failures?
NO!!!!

In the end Annie ends up with the right guy for her….not some national secret…the Cop. A normal guy. Who doesn’t want normal?

I liked the film…ish.
No I loved it. It was real life. My life-ish…I just don’t have roommates or a busted business.
I might even have more crap, I just handled it differently.


But it dragged on and on and on…maybe I would not felt it had dragged on if I had known what I was getting into?

Not A Simple Spell To Spin

The Life And Death Of Delilah

I know I’m often called the Anti-Christ but I do have some semblance of compassion.

This is the story of Delilah, one of the sweetest chiwawas that ever lived.

One of my best friends, Kat, lives across the street from me. We live almost communally as we are both single Mom’s to young Children. We sit in my living room messin’ on our computers often not even saying a word to one another, we are that comfortable together. Our Children walk in and out of our houses freely. We eat dinners and celebrate Holidays together.

On Thursday nights our other Neighbor M, will come over and we will hang out and chat, or her husband A will…it’s an open door policy.

Note…A few doors down a new Mom, single, just moved in and to our delight she’s just like us…we are pretty stoked about this.

Our ‘Hood’...

…it consists of 16 houses on a street that ends in a culdesac. There are 23 Children all under the age of 13. The Children that are old enough run around like a gang. It’s an amazing thing and to some ‘old school’, as they play out front and often in a street. Sometimes I hear them Call…

…”GAME OFF!”
That means a car is coming and they proceed to get on the sidewalk.
They play Red Rover and kickball, and sometimes just throw rocks…and then get yelled at.
They ride scooters, bikes and wagons as fast as they can down our hill.
They get yelled at often for a variety of thing to include letting Kat’s uber-sweet Chiwawa out, Delilah.
Delilah is often over at my house playing with all the children and the “Mom’s”.
It’s a great ‘hood’…where we look after each other.

Our Hoods Mascot was Delilah.

The Children would run and play with her freestyle. They would carry her around in a box or deliver her door to door.
Some of the neighbors that we don’t really chat with didn’t even know what house Delilah lived in…Kat’s or mine.
Delilah didn’t run, she hopped to and fro the bell around her neck rattling with every bounce. Like the Children she didn’t go past the stop sign when running free and she would come when called.

This was Kat’s dog. Delilah would sleep with her and loved her. Delilah would lick her face with glee…jump in her lap, curl up in a tiny ball and nap.

Sometimes when we would be hanging at my house Delilah would jump in my lap and attempt to get up all in my face. I would tell her…

…”I’m not your human, Rat, go see your Mama.”

I would call her Rat, she was tiny. It WAS a term of endearment.

The whole hood loved that little creature.

There is another neighbor we don’t hang out with that lives on the corner. She different than us and keeps to herself. She has garage sales all the time which increases the traffic on our quiet domain.

Yesterday some Asshole hit Delilah with their car.
Then…
...they just left.

Kat…”I can’t look at her.”
Me…”I got this.”

I’m not sure when Delilah took her last breath as I carried her limp body wraped in a towel to my MiniVan…
Leaving Kat in charge of my Children…
I laid Delilah gently on my lap and started driving not exactly sure where I was going, calling friends with pets looking for an emergency Vet.
I cradled and protected Delilah not for me but my friend.

I had avoided looking down and then I finally did.
Droplets of blood had steamed from her once perky ears. Her toothsome mouth agape and her eyes peering into an abyss that I could not see. Inside my MiniVan the stench of death permeated the air.
I opened my window and let her little soul out so she could ride the Rainbow with the rest of the Gods Creatures.

If I could have given her the breath of life I would have.

I got to the Vet, tears streaming down my face…of all things in public…not embarrassed at all because I loved that Dog too…and I took care of business.

When I got home the Children gathered around and I had to break the news to them.
The whaling began…
Kat’s 3 year old daughter cried over and over…
…”Delilah’s dead!”
My own daughter was in shock and distraught and I held them both but there was no calming them down. So I left them together on my sofa so I could chat with Kat.

Delilah was a little pup, not just a small one but a young one. She was generous with her love and had a way with Children and Adults alike. She had smelly little dog breath and liked to share it with anyone that would let her up near their face.
I’ll miss her but I’m glad I knew her.

Military Spouse Month…Part 2. The Art Of Keeping It Together

Military Spouses deal with a great deal of stress and distress…I’m sure you can imagine.
The last minute Tdy’s, the deployments.
The thought’s that your spouse might never come back…
…not to mention being a single parent most of the time and having to deal with no ‘Honey’ to cross things off your ‘Honey do list’.

Note…One of my friends is in the Army, Air Assault. I don’t know his wife but he has been gone for 3 years out of the last 5. How would YOU handle that?

I’ll share a couple of stories that only those that have been/are Military Spouses will understand but that those in the civilian world…

I had been married for 4 months and my Ex was headed to the desert. It was June 26th, 2004, he had an over lay at Khobar Towers. I returned home and the phone was ringing off the hook. It was a very sad day. I started that deployment scared but then reality hit me in the face...now I was scared I was going to be a widow at a very young age.
...that feeling never changed from then on.
He had a dangerous job as it was on a regular day even when in the states. Night flying over rough seas, low and slow. Have you seen the movie the Perfect Storm?

The spouses of those on the Pave Hawk/CSAR can attest to the feeling of apprehension.
…3am and your bed is still empty…

When we were at Langley my Ex would be gone 2 weeks out of every month. The disruption of the coming and going…a fucked up schedule.

Note…I might be exaggerating a tiny bit but that is what it felt like.

While we were at Langley he had to deploy. He was going to Turkey for a couple of months, not a bad deployment as far as deployments went. Our daughter had been with us for more than several months…so I was a new Mom. I didn’t have a squadron and the spouses as a support group because he was on ‘Staff’.
It was the beginning of Fall. He was supposed to be back before Thanksgiving.
He would call several times a week at about the time he was to return. Each call he would have to tell me…
…”There is still no replacement. Hopefully I’ll hear some good news next week.”
Thanksgiving came and went…
It was almost Christmas time now and I sat there with our daughter…she had no idea what was going on  as she was a little over one at the time.
The message was still the same…no replacement.
A couple of days before Christmas I made plane reservations for Christmas morning for my daughter and I to head to Florida so we could be with family for Christmas.
New Years came and went…
The same message…no replacement.
It turned into a 5 month deployment. That now a days is not a lot to most…Often when they would go on deployment their return date would be pushed back…but 3 months? That was a first for me.

Note…I may not have had a Squadron to help me but I had my neighbors and friends…Colleen, Jennifer, Leigh, Kara, Tricia and several others…Military Spouses that stuck together in the good and bad times.

Now on some “How too’s” as far as keeping it together…

When your Spouse is deployed you do NOT inundate them with SHIT that’s going wrong or bad. You talk to your friends.
You focus on the positive things happening…not that your child hasn’t had a full night sleep in weeks, therefore you haven’t either.
You lean on your friends.
Do NOT dismiss the power of the Sqd Spouses group. They know what you are going through.
Spouse Deployment dinners are for YOU! Take advantage of some down time.
There are a great deal of things to take advantage of…you will learn these things at deployment briefings…Go to them and learn! If you can’t make it call the CC Spouse the DO Spouse or the Key Spouse, they have the info you need.
Do NOT spread gossip about others you might not like…it gets back to those that are deployed and hurts moral…they are trying to get through each mission…and live to tell about it.

Note…About Gossip. The people that spread gossip often have no idea what they are talking about. This I know for truth. There were many days The First Shirt and I would sit in his office with the door closed discussing the Moral of the troops because of the maliciousness of the stupid and ignorant.

There is NO stigma attached to Anti Anxiety or Anti Depressants. You do not have to tell others you are on them…but know you wouldn’t be alone.

Being independent does not come naturally to some. That’s what your friends are for, to help you.

Note…F1’s Spouse just returned from a 16 month deployment…I hope there was not one day she felt she was alone.


http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2010/11/im-barbie.html


http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2010/11/veterans-day.html

Military Spouse Month…Part 1. The Art Of Moving

May is the month of the Military Spouse.
I was once, it seems ages ago, a Military Spouse.
The majority of my female friends are Military Spouses.

It’s that time of year that Orders are coming in and the moving begins for my friends, whether across the country or across the oceans.
You worry about what is going to be missing and/or broken on the other end.
You worry about the schools for your Children.
You worry about finding friends for Children AND your yourself.
You worry about little things
You worry about big things.

Note…I can only tell you what it was like for me. Every Military Spouse has their own stories…I wish they would share them with the world…the funny and the ones fraught with distress.

When I got married I moved from my parents house to my Ex’s Condo on the beach. We lived there a bit and then he got orders to GA. We headed up before our move date and found the perfect house. So we could save money our good friends offered up their base house as they were in Vegas for 6 months. The time came and we moved into our perfect little house in GA.

Note…thanks for the use of your house J and D…;)

3 1/2 years later Orders came for Langley. We lived in a rental a few miles away waiting for one of the fabulous Tudor houses on the base to come available. We didn’t need to worry about schools ‘cause we didn’t have children yet…and the schools in that area were/are crap…and he could walk to work. A house came open and we moved…
2 1/2 years later Orders came for Kadena. Across the pond we went with our one Child. We lived off the Base in a great concrete grey 2 story home amongst the Japanese…it was amazing. Then his job changed and he was required to move on base…so on to the base we went. I’m not complaining, just sharing the way it was.

Note…I only know one person that was able to defy that ‘order’…(I HAD to mention it as I swear it’s like you have some Jedi power over people.)
Note of the note…that was a shout out!

3 years later Orders came again, back to GA we would go, this time with all 3 of our Children in toe. We lived in town in a house we both still own together.
2 years later Orders came…off to CO. This time we rented.
Then we split and for the last two years I have been on my own…ever!

Ok…Did you do the math?
13+ years…TEN different residences! (My latest move of course was my own choice.)

Once in the move from GA to Langley….ALL my bowls went missing…?????
Once I told a mover to…
…”Please be careful with that lamp…”
Horrible mover lady…”I’ve been trained to do this and do it well.”
I walk out of the room and heard a crash…That bitch broke my lamp.
Once a mover put our baby grand piano on it’s side and his truck leaked…one ruined and warped baby grand piano.
Once a mover was so shocked with the amount of shoes I owned I could hear him counting loudly as he laughed…(Not all memories of moving are bad.)
Once the mover arrived with my antique dinning room table…with a gouge right in the middle of the top.
You get to the point you know things will get broken and go missing…it’s just stuff.

Movers suck. They don’t care about a damn thing but getting out of there. You will never see them again and they are bottom of the barrel…at least the ones here in the US I encountered.
They would piss and moan when I would tell them I needed help un packing…which they were paid to do. Hell, they just pissed and moaned the whole time and you have to appease them because they have complete control over ALL your belongings.

Note...The best movers were in Japan. They cared and took great care of all our things.

You have to keep your precious belongings locked in your car as so things don’t go ‘missing’.
Garbage bags are great to put towels and clothes in so you don’t have to re wash everything on your arrival.
Following around your movers with a Sharpie in hand is a must…because if you really believe that the box marked “downstairs bathroom” doesn’t have dishes in it?!…you’re probably wrong.

Knowing you won’t see the majority of your thing for several months puts things into perspective and you prioritize what you will REALLY need…and you cross your fingers and toes that there is not a storm and you ‘crates’ don’t go overboard…That happened to someone I know…everything lost at sea the only company…Osama Bin Laden and the fish.

I have friends that can have their house in order in ONE day after a move…It takes a good amount of team effort but it can be done. I think 3 days was my own personal record…curtains hung and all.
There is actually no secret “how to”…
You just do it! You u-pack the boxes and you put things away. You worry about organizing the little things later.

Where you hang your hat is your home.

…………………………………..

All my Military friends out there…good luck on your moves.
I hope all arrives safely, particularly you and yours…the stuff is just stuff.
Love,
Barbie

Ps
See ya soon in Vegas…maybe?

How To Make Divorce Work

Last night my daughter, 9 1/2, got out of the tub and was yelling for me…
E…”MOM! I need some underwear!”
Me…”All of your clothes are clean and piled on your bed for you to put away.”
E…”It’s just hard to find underwear when your Mom and Dad are divorced!” as she stomps away.

Note…I swear those were her exact words and I outwardly cringed as I laughed on the inside. Only SHE would say something like that.

I know I’m gonna have to have a little talk with her after she cools down.

Later that evening I am sitting on her bed…with my house finally quiet as we chat.
Me…”You can’t throw the divorce on me because you can’t find under pants.”
Me…”I love you and am doing the best I can to help you be the best you can.”

Then I went on a long shpleel…

Note…is shpleel a real word? I don’t know but in my world it is.

“Your father and I get along better now than we did when we were married. A lot of your friends that have divorced parents don’t get along like your Dad and I…hell some of your friends that have parents that are still married don’t get along as well as your Dad and I.”

It’s true. He shows me more respect now than he did when we were married. We communicate better via e-mails and texts. He shares with me what’s going on with his school and work.
I’m proud of his accomplishments and where he has brought himself and I share these thoughts with our Children.

Note…I’m confident he does not bad mouth me around our Children. He most likely though does not share any of my accomplishments with them because I have so far done nothing with my life….but I will one day.

We do have our moments of frustration with each other still though.
The other day I told him I was going out of town in August and gave him the dates. I know this man well and could tell he was a little put out by this and I explained it was over a weekend.
I have only gone out of town once by myself since we separated and that was to go on a Wiccan Walk About to try and put my psychic life back in order.


We share an on-line calendar where we can enter things going on in our children’s lives and he updates this with the dates will be out of town.

Note…My Ex goes out of town often and sometimes at the last minute. I do everything I can to be there for my Children but I often feel I am at my Ex’s Beck and Call.
Kat and I were talking last night because she is worried about my ‘professional’ future. I CAN NOT get a real job. I have tried but due to my Ex’s schedule it is impossible.
Note within the note…Now with this blog I certainly won’t be able to get a traditional job.
An example: This week he had to drop off our Children on Sunday at noon and won’t be returning till Saturday sometime.
I have been blessed to have an Ex that supports me financially till he retires. But the future looms before me and it is scary.

My Children are with me on Monday’s, Tuesday’s, Wednesday’s and every other Saturday. Sometimes I have to pick them up from school for my Ex because of rescheduled meetings. Luckily I really don’t have much of a life so this is easy to do.
When this does happen our youngest, if not forewarned, gets all out of sorts.

Children thrive with a consistent schedule. Be it knowing when bed time is, bath time, when they do their homework to WHICH PARENT they are going to be with and WHEN.
Our Children have the same bedtime and routines in our respective homes.

Note…If you don’t have your own Children on a schedule I won’t judge you but you might be amazed at how they excel in all areas of their lives when on one. This works with ALL Children whether with divorced parents or not.


Letting one another know what is going on and being cognizant of one another’s feelings is also paramount to making Divorce work.
Last year my friend and my Ex’s boss invited me to his ‘Pin On’ (A Pin On is a military term where someone moves up in rank.) It was a big deal, he was pinning on Brigadier General. I had every intention of attending. My Ex asked me not to go, so I declined the invite.We share many of the same friends, some that he works with.
It had not occurred to me how awkward it must be for my Ex.

Another example of being considerate …yesterday I was planning my summer vacation with my Children and I thought I was going to have to leave on the July 2nd. My Ex and I take turns every other year for Holidays. This would be me asking if I could have them for July 4th two years in a row. He responded with…
…”If it’s the 4th that works that would be fine with me but would like a rain check as that would be two-in-a-row with you.”
It turns out I have to leave later than the 4th, but he was kind and understanding.

To show one another courtesy when in the company of your Children and friends can be difficult if things are acrimonious but do it anyway. I don’t care what your situation is…or how hurt you are. Take your fucking panties off and be a bigger person.

Having realistic expectations is also crucial. Many people out there do NOT have realistic expectations though.
With regards to financial issues some people just don’t make a great deal of money and understanding that you can not squeeze blood a turnip is paramount.

Note…Please don’t be a member of the Hater Nation and be angry at me because my Ex does well and cooperates. Be happy for me.

All this being said how do you deal with a bitch or an asshole that impedes your every step?
That my friends I will deal with later…because I KNOW they exist.
… I will also deal with the difference between Lawyers and Mediators...

Virusesesessss

Sunday morning I woke to a observe something horrific…on my MacBook of all things.

“Warning, warning your computer has been infected!”
It told me I need to pay a $50 something onetime amount to eradicate said virusesesesss to protect my credit card numbers and such.
It was all so official looking.

Note…Mac’s in general do not get viruses or have problems. That is one of the reasons I have one.

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/02/once-you-go-mac-you-never-go-back.html

So I turned my computer off and thought to myself…that took all of 15 Min and I turned my MacBook back on ready to go to war, qwerty style, with what was something I was determined to fix myself.

Note…My Dad is a big computer guy, not a programer, but has taught me a few things here and there.

Note to the note…I’m trying to sound cooler than I really am…I was filled with trepidation as I pondered taking on this project.

With my MacBook on I ignore the Porn that keeps popping up randomly whilst I try to cipher what the problem is, where it came from and how to eradicate it.

MacDefender is the name of this irritating trojan.
I started doing my research all the mean time pictures of Gay men or adds for viagra kept interfering with me.

It turned out it was an easy peasy lemon squeeze fix and if I can do it you can do it as well.

Go to your Utilities Folder and then double click on Activity Monitor.
On the top it will most likely say, ‘My Processes’, change it to 'All Procceses’
There you will find this mercenary that has invaded your personal territory.
Click on the 'MacDefender’ program and close it. It will ask you if you want to force close…yes, you want to force close it if you want to stop the unwanted porn popping up on your monitor.
Then drag that bitch to your trash and empty your trash.

Seriously…Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

On Monday I found out that 2 of my friends, F1 and F2, had also received this lovely little interruption to their lives.

F2 thought it was something she did wrong. It’s wasn’t.

Whenever someone tells me that they got a virus on their computer, no matter what kind I always tell them…
…”You should stop watching so much porn."

Member #1, The Hater Nation!

I am the oxygen that fuels the fire…it’s like I surround the earth and just by existing I piss people off.
The people I piss off K…Oh Hell, her name is Kat...has a name for…The Hater Nation.

This is the ‘story' about one member of The Hater Nation and how in the end it all comes down to ME. Please read all the way to the bottom…and you tell me what I did wrong…other than existing.

I have cut and pasted two unedited threads from FaceBook, names deleted of course. Some of this will be confusing because I want you to read them in real time as I did.

Thread A (and I will mark each one clearly) was generated by F9 and was addressed to F1, F2, F4, F7 and yours truly, the UnHoly Trinity, Me, Myself and I…Kristin.

Thread B was generated by Me and was so F1, F2, F4 and F7 could talk amongst ourselves with concerns to thread A.

I will insert notes to try and keep things clear and share the back story.
Good luck;)

……………………
A 
May 10@ 4:19pm
F9
Have I done something to offend you? I feel like I an getting the cold shoulder from you guys.

Note…She had. She has a tendency to be negative and combative and it has gotten worse this year. She has insulted some of us and doesn’t take responsibility that things are not going well in her life…and sadly I believe it’s her and not those in her life that are the problem. She yells at people almost like it’s required by her religion. We had gotten together a couple weeks ago with thoughts of an intervention but thought it wouldn’t go well.

Note to the note…I am typing this thinking I need to take some responsibility for my lack of ability to attract a man…Oh shit, that’s another blog.

Note…Via text we come to the conclusion that I will be the spokesperson and will write up a response for their approval on thread B.


B
May 10@ 4:55pm
F9,
We got together the other day and had a talk about you. An honest discussion about how unhappy you have been lately. We don’t know how on earth to help you. We came to the conclusion that as combative as you have been lately with concerns to many aspects of your life we should let sleeping dogs lie, so to speak.
Now however if you want help from us we would gladly help you as we are your friends.
Please read this in peace and know we care about you but we all feel like we are treading on thin ice.
Kristin
F7
F1
F2
F4


B
May 10 5:04pm
F7
Very nicely worded. The whole thing is somewhat reminiscent of high school, but hey she did ask. I am ok with putting my name on it.

B
May 10 @5:05pm
F2
I am ok with it.

B
May 10@ 5:10pm
F1
Sounds good. Do we need to let her know that…we have been more distant because of her negativity?

B
May 10@ 5:22pm
F4
I am good with it…..
I agree F7! Totally High School!

B
May 10 @5:26pm
Kristin
F1…I think the whole part of us walkin on thin ice says that…
I’m gonna send this bitch out ladies!

B
May 10@ 5:43pm
F1
Ok…..
Elementary  my dear watson……

Note…We sent our approved response to F9 at May 10 5:28pm

A
May 10 @9:28pm
F9
I can’t respond to this without sounding combative so I won’t bother you guys again. No need to turn your backs on me anymore I can take a hint.

B
May 10@ 9:32pm
SNAP! That did not go very well…

B
May 10@ 9:54pm
Kristin
No it didn’t….seriously just like we fucking expected!
I’m a little pissed she can’t see passed herself and that what we had foreseen.

B
May 11@ 9:01am
F1
Wow, that is very unfortunate. It’s too bad that people have to go through life hating the world and everyone in it….What is more upsetting is that she will blame us and never think she had anything to do with it…or want to change.

B
May 11@ 9:07am
F1
I want to write that 'I’m sorry you feel that way’..…but I’ll hold off for now.

B
May 11 @9:14am
Kristin
how about…
“You are probably right."

B
May 11@ 9:18am
Kristin
Ahhh…fuck it and fuck her.
She’s already de friended all of us I think by now.
She forgot to write me a de friending letter though and that just makes me angrier (joke)…
Oh, wait,  maybe that was her de friending letter.

Note…We had all woken up with one less friend on FaceBook. This is a normal occurrence for me but for my girl friends it is not.

A
May 11@ 10:18am
F7
There is a saying don’t ask a question unless you really want the answer! I speak only for myself (just cause I didn’t ask the others before posting) We have been worried about you and avoiding conversations with you because of the snappishness. I can totally understand if you are having a tough time…You hate the school your kids are in, you’ve started taking classes yourself so have less time for fun stuff, but we didn’t create these issues in your life and when the going gets tough you should lean on your friendsnot push them away. Tell us we’re bitches and we don’t understand or tell us you didn’t mean to be especially grouchy with us…say anything except “I wont bother you anymore” Tha’s just giving up and our friendship is worth fighting for.  No one wants to lose a friend, but we also don’t want to get in arguments over every little issue. Sometimes we have to just agree to disagree and let it go.

B

May 11 @10:22am

F1

F7, I like how you responded!!!!!!!!!!!!

A
May 11 @10:29am
F1
I am truly sorry that you feel this way. without adding more, possible, frustration I agree with F7. We responded to your question to help you.

B
May 11 @10:32am
F1
So I went ahead n sent my response. I hope it sounded ok because I accidentally sent it before I was ready. Opps. I figured I’d just leave it n not make matters worse by rewriting or deleting.

B
May 11@ 10:32am
F7
Yeah, but will she see it, now that I’ve been de friended?!?
Again I have to point out the High schoolishness with the de friending and what not…lol

B
May 11@ 10:33am
I thought it sounded fine.

B
May 11@11:00am
F1
I’m not sure. you can send a message n not b friends w someone so I think it will work.

B
May 11 @11:16am
Kristin
She will see it. if she opens it.
I think ya’ll both did well. I didn’t send what I had to say because i just sounded like a bitch.

B
May 11 @11:25am
F2
I think what F1 and F7 wrote was pretty good. I hope she does read it but I’m thinking she probably won’t.

A
May11@ 4:30pm
F9
F7, F4, F1 and F2, I do think some friendships are worth keeping but I need time alone right now because it has been a very difficult year for …insert name of older son…this yearend I don’t need the added stress about worrying if I am hurt your feelings or not so I’ll stay away until I can be less grouchy. I will probably see you guys at the school but not anywhere else being as our kids aren’t friends with each other. That’s not a dig, it’s great that your kids are friends with each other but…insert both of her childrens names here…have different friends so I will be with them. I know Kristen is not listed in top it is not an oversight I just feel like it will be easier for me not to be included in her life. Take from this what you want but I need to do what’s best for me.

Note…Really?! Just me?!!! Hence she has a membership in the Hater Nation. I wonder if she realized I could SEE said message?

B
May 11@ 4:38pm
Kristin
So…now it’s just ME that is the enemy?!!!
Fuck my life.

B
May 11@ 5:01pm
F4
Well, you are the anti-Christ after all ;)
You know we love you……

There, I made a comment!

Between daughters oath appt, pre-k drop off, taking the cat to the vet and having to clean up cat bodily fluids in multiple places in my vehicle, another issue with ____. I finally have a moment. Oh wait, on our way to Awana Awards.
Moments  over….

B
May 11@5:09
F1
LOL…F4. Sorry your day was so busy….soon summer will be here and hopefully you can relax a little with some ‘therapy pool time’.

B
May11 @5:13
F1
Not sure what to take from F9’s reply. I will let it be and hope she can find happiness somehow.

B
May 11 @5:14pm
F2
Wow F4, that did not sound like a fun day…sorry :(

Kristin, we do love you ;)

B
May 11@ 5:15
F4
Hey no worries….MY glass is half full ;)

Note…Almost everyone of my friends are positive and are ‘half full kind’ people. I love that about them.

B
May11@ 5:19
Kristin
It sounds like a hectic day F4…hope tomorrow is better.

As far as me being the anti-Christ, well…through some eyes I just might be but through other though…;)
I <3 you guys.

B
May 11 @6:42
F7
My thoughts…F4 def needs therapy. If F9 is de friending the anti christ then I’m out too. Kristin didn’t say anything different from the rest of us so to single her out is to find a scapegoat.

Note…for some reason this message from F7 was sent 3 times…

B
May 11@ 7:06
Kristin
Thanks F7, but as the anti christ…I can take it. She NEEDS friends…and if you will be her friends and she doesn’t want me as one…well, that’s ok…I’ve dealt with this kind of thing forever.
Help her…she doesn’t want to hear from me so I will leave her alone…don’t YOU do the same.
Sometimes people need a scapegoat…bhhhahhaaahhhahhhaaa
(that’s my goat sound.)

B
May 11@ 9:15
F7
Why did my msg post so many times weird…lol

B
May 12@ 7:11
Kristin
I thought it was funny F7;)
<3

Censorship?! Vs Editing?!

I had to delete my last blog due to the fact that I was concerned for my safety.

I have had more than several people approach me via private message enraged at what I have said. I usually keep these things to myself though and go on with my silly badself.
I’ve also had people report my blog as offensive, many times.

Note…I find nothing offensive about what I write.

I always win though with a few quick typed words…qwerty style.

I try to keep names out of my blog. My goal is truly not to anger someone. It’s to share the things that happen in my life….and if you just happen to walk into my life…well…
YOU DID IT WITH FREE WILL!!!

…if you are my friend that changed the name from the kiss and drop to piss and drop lane at the school…
…if you are my friend and get all out of sort because I didn’t answer the phone and sent you a text instead (my bad)…
…if you are my friend and stood me up (your bad;)
…if you went on a date or three with me...
…if I don’t know you and you approach me and tell me you’ve been talkin' smack about me…
…if you are someone I know and constantly bitches about everything…
…if you’re my good friends boyfriend and you are a dick…

So I censored myself.
I have said I edit my blog, the good and the bad.
I edit to keep people in my life safe.
Some of my friends are bad ass MoFos who need to be kept safe.

Then I got to thinkin’.

I removed my filter…from my voice and now I am more free than ever...
Is it ok for me to censor my words on my blog?

Well, I all ready DO!……..I just call it editing.

I am in the midst of writing the book of MY life. I will always and forever keep my friends safe though…deep breath people!

…oh wait, what could anyone possibly be worried about?

I ONLY have 12 followers!

If you are not my friend…and have not been nice to me?
I don’t know…?...
I’m not a hateful being but I have been known to be a woman with a wrath that is mightier than that of an average woman.
The power I have behind, in front and around me is exceptional…but I have a hard time with hate…
…Routinely the people that have made me so angry, that impede me and make me livid…
I forget their names.
…like the OWC president at Langley that year…Oh, I couldn’t stand her. She was such a bitch. I can’t even remember that fuckers name!

So I am at this impasse censorship vs editing…Is there a difference?

Right now I think yes.

Censorship is on someone else’s terms.
I grew up in a country where censorship was…..respected...and the places I visited…if you didn’t censor yourself you could land in jail.
I know I would not be comfortable ever going back ever.

Editing though is on my terms.

My book will be edited, not censored.
I will NOT censor myself and you will learn one day all about me.
…I’ll just edit my friends…later perhaps I might write fictional stories about my friends. Holy shit…ahhh the stories…I do love you all!!! and I will never hurt you though.

Freewill Edit vs Someone else’s will Censorship ……………….Has someone won for now?
Or will I forget their name because I find them so forgettable….?

A few years from now?…or maybe one?… maybe 5? maybe never?
…I only have 12 readers… is anyone really following this shit?