I Broke My Arm

I’ve been trying to write about Friday night but I decided to stop and write this first.

So…I broke my right arm. To be specific I fractured my radius in a few places…right at the wrist, also part of my ulna broke off.
Simply put, I slipped and fell.

The challenges I have found are numerous for someone like me. Someone who is active and most of the things I do, to include my hobbies, require the use of both hands.

Saturday morning my Children were dropped off (I hadn’t gotten dressed yet and was still in my pajamas)…I took a shower after they arrived but first I had to place a plastic bag over my busted arm and then had to figure out how to cover and seal my jacked up self with my Glad, Press and Seal…with one arm. Not the easiest task, it took me about 15 minutes.
Whilst in the shower I grabbed the shampoo and squooze (that’s not a word, but should be one) some shampoo on my head…probably about 1/2 cup ‘cause I couldn’t see a damn thing. Then I laughed as I spent the next few minutes getting all the suds out of the little hair I have...on my head;)

Note…My Daughter, BrownNut was visibly upset and said…
…”You just aren’t like other Mom’s.”
Me…”No honey, I’m not. Do you want me to be?”
BN…”No, because then you wouldn’t be you and you are a pretty awesome Mom because you’re not like the others."

My daughter helped me with my bra. All the pants I bought when I had my knee surgery have come in handy…I bought them because I was able to wear my leg brace under them. I find them now so wonderful for there ease and the waste band that doesn’t look so bad.

Later that evening the Children and I headed to F69’s house for dinner. We were supposed to attend a party for one of the F’s but I really didn’t want to be around to many people…SF69 made sure all the Children were fed as the rest of us sat and chatted.

Note…I met a really nice couple that night and wish they lived here.

Sunday AM my Children were picked up by their Father and I finally had time to contemplate my situation.

I got in the shower and repeated my routine with the Press and Seal and such.
I thought to myself…
…”I think I’m gonna have to let my underarm hair grow. It’s not like anyone that matters will notice ‘cause I haven’t, still, seen my in-homedater since summer started and it’s not like there is anyone else in my life that I need to look good for and keep their attention so they don’t stray…” Those were my exact thoughts.

After my shower I stood in my bedroom naked and put lotion on as many places I could reach with my right hand. My left arm was going to have to forgo any attention. (F15 had let me know she would lather my whole body up if I asked;)….I heart her.)
Then it came time to put my bra on. After about a half hour of frustration I was crying and laughing because I was so determined to do it all on my own. I could have asked Kat to come over but I was to stubborn. I finally got that damn bra hooked…and no, there was no way I was going to be able to forgo my bra.
I then wished I had a boyfriend that loved me and would come over and help me, without asking. Then that thought left my brain as it was stupid; I have only one T.V. and I refuse to give up the remote control.

Note…These were/are my actual thoughts. This blog is where I am honest about/with Me, Myself and I.

Last night I was trying to make dinner, pasta and a red sauce. Kat, all the Children and I needed to be fed.

Note…Monday night was Pizza night ‘cause our schedules are filled with music classes on Mondays…so I didn’t have to cook.

…I needed to add a can of diced tomatoes to my sauce…I don’t have an electric can opener…Kat opened it for me. I had the base of my sauce in the freezer, easy peasy lemon squeezy. I filled a stock pot with water then tried to pick it up with one hand….that was a ‘no go’. I grabbed one end of it and pressed the other side of the pot on the side of my belly to get the stove.
When it came time to drain the pasta…I had to ask Kat to do it.

Laundry…I can’t right socks that are inside out. Laundry sucked before now I find it even more of a chore.

I just went over a FEW of the things that are difficult for me to accomplish…

Now on to the judging…and yes, as always someone judges me.

When the Children were dropped off on Saturday morning my Ex looked at me like I had two heads. We get along, but honestly, I am not his favorite person in the world. Sometimes I think he hates me not because of the divorce but because of who I am and what I represent…a free woman that refuses to hold her tongue.

When I broke my arm it was an accident. I had decided to stopped doing JuJitsu because class was so aggressive and I was sure to injure myself again. That does not mean I won’t take refresher courses. I had found that for my Children I needed to not put myself in precarious positions…
…Then what do I go and do but break my arm…and not just a little break but one that requires me to have one or maybe two titanium plates added to my skeleton.

After the destruction of my knee ligaments and the things I was unable to accomplish during my rehabilatation…which I’m still working on…I felt horrible for my fabulous Children. I had to ask for their help in all sorts of areas…
I was talking to my Mom yesterday and she told me that I needed to ask my Children to help me out even more…
…I have a hard time doing that.
I need my Children to see me as a strong, independent woman capable of feats that others would shy away from.
…And my Friends who have offered help…
…Wow…
…From Kat offering to clean my bathrooms…that is a serious sacrifice…That girl HATES cleaning;). My bathrooms are clean though so no worries there. She did clean a few of my dishes, pots to be exact, that I was unable to do with one arm.
…F16, who’s Spouse is deployed and she’s taking care of her 3 Children by herself…
…F9…anything last minute I know she will drop everything...
…All my F’s have offered up their respective services!
…F1 I think is planning a party around my surgery;)
…F15 is driving me and her husband, My Brother From Another Mother, is picking me up…

As much as I love their help, I will only take what I absolutely need.
I need them to see me the same way as my Children need to see me…Strong, independent and capable of feats that others shy away from…
…Because that is what makes Me, Myself and I, Kristin, The Un-Holy Trinity.

I didn’t ask for this and some might be wondering if it’s some karma kicking me in my ass.
No, all my bad karma has already played through…
I believe this yet another test by the Gods so I can prove myself to Me (ME, not You) that I can take on what ever is thrown at me with grace, humor and with an attitude that…I will not accept defeat.

It’s just a little broken arm after all;) If I can’t handle this I’m screwed!

FaceBooks New Crappy News Feed

I woke up this morning at 5:30am and turned on my MacBook…1st things first…FaceBook.

You can now FaceBook while you FaceBook…the top right hand corner is your immediate news feed…The big shit in the middle is the crap that some Asshole that should be fired has determined presumed via 1’s and 0’s (programing) what is YOUR ‘Top Stories’.

By the looks of things people like this shit just as much as they liked the ‘new coke’…They don’t make 'new coke’ anymore.

Note…I usually roll with FB changes just fine but not this one. Yes, I realize that FB is free but they ARE making money as we waste our day hanging out with each other…
I loath this change.

Some of you may not have noticed the security issues with the new top right, lets call it “The Rolling News Feed”…
Scroll your cursor over something that a friend of yours has commented on…it has to be someone that is not a friend of yours as well, a stranger…or as in my case someone that de-friended me.
Depending on their Account Settings you might be able to comment on some strangers post or picture or what have you…
Everyone
Friends of Friends
Just Friends
…and my favorite…
Custom

Nobody can even see what I comment on…all that shit is automatically deleted as I don’t think you need to know that I commented…
…”You are a dumb ass!”
…"Mmmmmmm…tasty”...and it’s a picture of a half naked Man, or maybe something you just threw on the grill.
…"You’ve been posting that you haven’t feel well lately, a lot really, ya know for the past year…I think you should go to the Doctor now.”
…"Bheeaaatttchhhh is in de hoouuuuusssssssssssssee.”
…”Congratulations"

So please spread the word and fix your mother fuckin’ Account setting as I am being tempted to comment on STRANGERS posts...

…"just took a dump”…Me...”Was it runny and messy or hard…and if it was hard did it hurt when it came out or did you like the way it felt?"
…”Had a crappy day at work” …Myself…"be happy you have a fucking job.”
…”It’s ladies night and we are gonna party like rock stars!…I…”no you are not because I will not be there and nobody knows how to party like a CSRM!”

This is what I would post on someone’s pic that had de-friended me…a family pic…
…Me…”Wow, you’ve been really liking the borrito’s lately…packin’ on the L.B.s…not lookin’ so good lately…you should put the Borrito’s Doooowwwwwnnn and get a slimfast.”
…Me…”Hmmm, so you are puttin’ It in That now hmmmm…better than with a blowup doll I’m sure…"

How do you fix this problem you ask me?
…ok it’s ME with the problem but I don’t want to see all this shit and be tempted to piss even more people off than I already do…

The arrow at the very top right…
click it
go to Account settings
make sure its just ‘Friends' and not ‘Friends of Friends’…

Now with that done go to your own page…
See where it is says you commented on some boring ass very important post of one of the many people that have de-friended me…or a stranger…whatev…
Scroll your cursor to the right till you see delete post…
It will NOT delete the comment you made on someone’s boring ass very important post but just delete it from your page…it will also give you the option of having them automatically deleted I did it so long ago I don’t remember the exact wording…sorry…

Oh one more thing…
I didn’t repost that status up date…
...”99% of you will not repost this but I know who will no you don’t . If you are against cancer NOBODY IS FOR CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! knows somebody who has fought and won…Blah blah blah”
I got one for you to copy and paste…and I dare you…no double dog dare you to repost…

99% of you will not share this post. I know who will though (You really have no clue you just, copied and pasted this from some psycho chick, The Un-Holy Trinity, with a multiple personality disorder. I only know this because Me, Myself and I typed all this out…all three of us!) Please copy and paste and get the word out that The Un-Holy Trinity is going to start commenting on random strangers and people that have de friended her Posts if they don’t fix their Account settings! Let’s keep this going!

Real Housewives Of NYC…I’m Sad To Hear Some Aren’t Returning

The news is out and the tears are flowing from under my glasses.
I can’t decide if it’s ‘cause I’m laughing so hard or I’ll miss some fabulously fucked up people.

NOT RETURNING are...

Jill  Zarin…
…A prima donna who can’t keep her mouth shut and thinks herself a designer...

Alex MacCord…
…Married to Simon Van Kempen (He’s really Gay, have you seen his clothes!). Alex thinks her MoFo’s are better than white sliced bread...they aren’t and...Alex, you wrote that book on parenting, well you need to read your own book (preview here for my Countessssss rage) just like the Countesssssss needs to read her own book. Oh, one more thing…you should hire a stylist…and stop letting your Gay Husband pick your clothes…NEWSFLASH…He’s not creative and all Gay men don’t have chi-chi (a sense of style) and the shit he makes you wear and the shit he wears himself hurts my eyes…and it’s hard to watch this trainwreck when I have to shield them!!!

This is the crackhead Kelly

Kelly Bensimon…
…The one I’ll miss the most I must admit. I don’t know if she’s high all the time or if maybe she SHOULD be! She’s an idiot and gives models a bad name…they are not all this stupid and dramatic.

and...

Cindy Barshop…
…She’s boring. She needed to get the ax.

So...Jill, Alex, Kelly and Cindy will not be returning have gotten sacked for the next season of The Real totally not real but still entertaining Housewives I’m calling a fowl here as 4 out of 7 of the trainwrecks are not even married Of New York City.

WILL BE RETURNING are...

Sonja Morgan…
…For some reason she thinks she’s a sex kitten but she’s to old to be a kitten and I won’t call her a Cougar ‘cause that is one of MY titles, my Panera Bread card says so.

This is the sexual intellectual LuAnn 

Ramona Singer…
…Crazy eyed bitch who wakes up with a glass of Pinot Grigio and you best have some available for her or she will get all crazy bitchy on your ass…Right Cindy The Boring Barshop?!

LuAnn "The Countessssss" de Lesseps…
…The Sexual Intellectual (another one of my monikers but this fits better than spanks on under another pair of spanks) aka FUCKING KNOW IT ALL!
I’m gonna go off now on the fake Countessssss, get ready…
…Who the fuck does she think she is?! She wrote a book on manners but never read it. Guess what you prissy bitch…I went to a finishing school and one of the things I took away was that when you use good manners it’s supposed to make people more comfortable around you…not uncomfortable. So stop with all your “manners” bullshit, read the book you wrote and stop lecturing people about how they are not allowed to ask someone if their boobs are fake…’cause Ramona should have just reached out and grabbed one of Kelly’s boobs and found out herself!
…also your poor Frenchified boyfriend Jacques is clueless because you lose your title Countessssss if you re-marry…we all know you wouldn’t give up that nom de plume as you think it makes you better than everyone else. It doesn’t. It probably makes you even more of a fucking bitch than you were without it.

So…Sonja, Ramona and that stupid bitch the Countessssss…will be returning.
…and I WILL be watching.

Rejection

When you are someone like me rejection is a norm and I’m very used to it. I’m actually an expert these days.
Sometimes I hear that my writing style is not up to par. Or that they have chosen someone else…in the back of my mind I question myself…
...am I good enough?
…do I have talent?
…can I write?
…do I suck ass?...and not in a good ass sucking kinda way…

I got my ‘official’ rejection letter e-mail yesterday from The Gazette.

I understand that I’m ‘out there’ with my views and voice…as I feel I SHOULD be! I also know that it can work against me.
I’ve been to casting calls and submitted my work to various sites…how many do I have to try for before someone says…
…”Kristin, The Un-Holy Trinity, WE WANT YOU!"

I’m trying out for something different right now…TVgasm…
http://www.tvgasm.com/
…to be a writer for them.

Am I scared of rejection? Nope.
I may not be a comedian or a professional writer…
…but I know I’m good at what Me , Myself and I do…
We, The Un-Holy Trinity that is Kristin, write about what ever we want…seriously, comedically and educationally…(my opinions are me educating you about your stupid opinions/views).

I have made it to Round 2 in TVgasm’s quest to find new/more writers.
I just submitted my newest TrainWreck for entry into Round 3…
…I wait in anticipation to hear from Flipit that I have made it to the next level.

I never expect a rejection.

Know how I do it and always keep a positive outlook?
I KNOW I’ll make it one day.
Slowly but surely World Domination will be mine.

It’s easy when you have an ego that’s bigger, better looking, funnier and smarter than the average run of the mill loser!

Simple fashizzle and never ever get your panties in a wad!

The Mean Girl

At therapy on Friday (CSRM drinkin’ time)…
…”The mean girl ALWAYS has friends.”
Me…”Yeah, look at me!”

I was joking…
…but…
There are a lot of people on this planet that might think I AM The Mean Girl.
I’m not quiet and speak my mind.
I’m not trying to hurt your feelings...but help you…
…you need my help…
…’cause not many people will be honest with you…
They will talk about you and complain about you in the worst way…
…Behind your back.
When I say something to someone…
…It’s what everyone’s thinking and talking about.
I just have the vagina the balls to say it to your face…hopefully in a kind(ish) way wrapped in humor.

My friends and I always joke say we will talk smack about you if you arrive late, leave early or just can’t fucking make it.
…We actually do it though…we are not just all talk.
I can only imagine what is said about me.
Do you know how much ammo they have to use against me?

There is one rule in Smack Talk…
Don’t dish it if you can’t take it!

Note…I can take a lot!

9/11 My P.O.V.

Everyone has a 9/11 story…
This is mine and it’s a different Point Of View than many people…
…Because I’m not just proud to be an American…
I’m a Child of this planet.

I was in Southern Spain, Arcos De La Frontera to be exact.
We, my Ex and I, had spent the morning traversing around town as I took pictures and then we headed in for a siesta. We had no T.V. or radio and were completely disconnected from the world.
Later that evening we headed out for something to eat and found ourselves in a Tapas bar.
There the T.V. was on.
…we sat in horrified amazement and silence with the locals as we watched the replay of the days events.
We headed back to our Hotel and talked about the Pentagon…how many people we knew there….We were confident we wouldn’t know anyone in the Twin Towers.
…But ALL those people?!

Like most people we know where we were on 9/11 and it changed all of us.

It was the aftermath though…

When we got home the Gate Guards at Langley that knew me inspected my bags as I stood outside of my car, there was a noticeable change in everyones attitude…

...Noticeably the everyday run of the mill American.

Strangers were in the Military…
Only 1 percent of the citizens of the U.S. Serve in the Military.
Only 5 percent actually know someone that Serves now.

Now it was someone’s Father/Mother/Son/Daughter/Sister/Brother…
…No longer Strangers.

Terrorists and War had/have been playing a part in my life since I was a Child, but they had never hit my Home Country.
Through my eyes, and many others that are/were involved with the Military, the U.S. had been in harms way for years. We had already lost Friends, not Strangers, to Terrorists.

I said above War had always been a part of my life…
Growing up in the Middle East men with machine guns camped out on top of our building as we Children would roller skate around the Compound where we lived…
…We weren’t allowed to play War.
…Because of what ever it is that my Dad did for a living, insert here various stories, languages and such…
…When our Armed Forces went into Kuwait my Dad called that day…
…”Don’t worry, everything is cool.”
He had been gone for months already.
…One year he had to travel back to my Birth place, Roberts Field, Liberia for ‘work'. The house we had lived in destroyed by Mortar Shells…everyone that worked for my family…either dead or gone.

Then in 1996 I married the Military.

When those planes crashed, into the Ground, The Pentagon and The Towers we Americans changed.
We became like the rest of the World…
…Vulnerable…
And for a bit every year on this day, September 11, we actually stand together...

Osama Bin Laden was told that We would not stop and We would find him. Then this year some of the Baddest Mother Fuckers in the World did just that.
We have a long way to go still and honestly I believe it’s war where there will be no winners…
…But it’s one we must fight.

…War…
What good can come out of it?
Without War, we would not be Americans.
The United States Of America, the home of the Brave, would be but a member of the British Empire.

If we lay our Arms down and stop our vigilant stance we WILL be attacked again.
The Terrorists continually plan on disrupting our peaceful (ish) lives.
…And while you are busy living your everyday life...
That 1% of our Society protects us, leaving their families at home and sacrifice their lives…
They HAVE stopped Terrorist attacks…
…and they are systematically killing off the leaders of these terrorist groups and most of you don’t even know the headway we have made…

I sound a bit like a Hawk, but those people, the Doves that are Anti-War, are looking at the World through Rose Coloured Glasses.

…Most Americans didn’t grow up like me or have even had minuscule amounts of the life experiences I have had. 

I wish my Children could live in a World free of War…but as long as Humans walk we will never not know conflict.
There will always be someone out there that wants to take something from someone else, convert someone to another Religion or just wants power over people.

…And some people will just stand by and let it happen…
While The Free and The Brave fight back.

Dear Kathie Lee Gifford

Dear Kathie Lee Gifford,

Back when the earth was still cooling off and you were on that show with Regis the Man who I am sure would probably Molest any Woman that gave him a chance Philbin, I didn’t really like you.

Granted I didn’t watch that show often probably because I had a life, not really, I would have rather watched the paint on my finger nails dry…
...all you did was talk about Cody.
Cody, by the way you talked about him, I thought was the second coming of Christ.
I know you have a daughter…I have no recollection of her name though ‘cause all you did was babble about Cody.

Note…I could google your daughters name but can’t be bothered.

Time moved on and you got that gig on The Today show. You know, when NBC decided it would be cheaper to make the Today Show go on foreeeeeeeever than spend $$$ on another stupid Sit Com or Game Show, that only fat housewives that eat bonbons all day as their asses get bigger sitting on their couches people that can only read at a third grade level would watch.

Hell, the set is already there right?

Well, I judged you.
When I blew out my knee I all the sudden I had more time to sit on my ass on my sofa as my ass got bigger…I skipped the bonbons though.

Once in awhile I watch that last hour as you and Hoda parlay about your lives and other drivel stuff.
I admit, I have never seen the whole thing because I noticed my ass getting bigger and I can’t have that.

As I was saying…I judged you. I thought you were a prude whos idea of fun was telling the world about the second coming of Christ talking about Cody.
I have since learned though that you actually have THE COOLEST job.
You are a total lush.
I actually respect your Winesdays and such…anyone that can have a drink, on camera, before 11am is cool in my book.
You can Smack Talk(ish) too and you are not afraid to talk about S.E.X…one of my absolute favorite subjects!

This is me, The Un-Holy Trinity that is Me, Myself and I, Kristin…
…Apologizing to you…
In my special way.

Much love and success,
Kristin

Star Wars

Arguably THE BEST Star Wars film in the series of 6 is…

…Star Wars: Episode III- Revenge Of The Sith!

#1. Padme, the ultimate Cougar, has Anakin’s babies.
If this never happened there would not have been Episode IV, V and VI.

#2. Duh…Anakin turns to the darkside and get’s his new title…
Darth Vader!

#3. Yoda is pretty Kick Ass


Ok…Maybe, just maybe Episode I- The Phantom Menace…
…but only because if Anakin hadn’t been put on the Gambling table and Obi-Wan Kenobi hadn’t CHEATED with the dice!!!…we wouldn’t have had any of the other 5 films in the most awesome series that is Star Wars.

Adoption: My Journey To Be A Parent

10 years ago I was packing and readying myself for a journey through Spain.
Meanwhile on the other side of the Equator there was a woman giving birth to my Daughter…
…And I didn’t know till several months later even of her existence.

This is NOT about the adoption of my Children but that which led up to it.
I remember every moment.

After my Ex and I got engaged we started trying to have a family. We thought…
…”What the hell, if something happens it happens.”
We knew what we both wanted.

About a year after we were married I knew something was wrong.
I went to see a local Doctor in Valdosta and he put my on Clomid.
Clomid is a pill you take orally, it was supposed to increase my egg production, and I’m sure it did.
I took it for more months than I probably should have. I was only in my mid 20’s, nothing should have been wrong with me.

Every month my period cycle would come.
Every month I would cry like I had just lost a child.

Finally, I went to see a Fertility Specialist in Jacksonville Fl.
I would have to have surgery, not so invasive, but surgery just the same. Many women have to go through this...
2 incisions in my pelvic area and one near my belly button so they could have a look around at my insides.
I remember waiting to have my surgery. My friend Christine who was/is a Dr. in Psychology, her specialization was terminal Children…She came to see me and brought me playing cards as we caught up…

Note...I am still curious how you can go to bed at night and not cry yourself to sleep knowing, soon your patient is going to die. She’s always been amazing and her career choice…well, that makes her even more incredible.

They blew up my Belly with gas and perused my insides.
The Doctor found a little more than a regular amount of Endometriosis but other than that I was normal.
On the 3 hour drive home I remember feeling like I had to go to the bathroom I was so uncomfortable. The gas was pressing still on my blatter.

I made my appointment to see my Doctor to discuss my/our options…
I was 27 and healthy. I had options.
Artificial Insemination otherwise known as the Turkey baster method was my/our choice.

In my first blog about Adoption I skirted through how it didn’t work…I’m gonna go a little more in-depth now...

I injected myself with the drug Follistim everyday for a couple of weeks timed with my period cycle…for Months.
Follistim, like Clomid, made me grow more eggs than I normally would hopefully giving me/us a better chance at conceiving a Child.
A week or so before I was getting ready to ovulate my abdomen would start to itch…
…I could FEEL these eggs growing inside of me pushing against my skin.
About a week before I was supposed to Ovulate I would head every other day to Jacksonville, 3 hours away, by myself so my Doctor could check on my egg situation.

Vividly I recall laying on the table my legs up and spread, cold in the stirrups…every other day he would insert a dildo shaped sonogram device into me. On the monitor we would look at the amazing amount of eggs I was producing.
When they were ready I would inject myself with yet another drug to release all my amazing eggs so I could be inseminated with my then husbands sperm. Then I would lay there.
The first time I/we tried I said to my Doctor right after he had inseminated me…
…”So you gonna call me in the morning?”

I thought I was hilarious.

Inevitably, 2 weeks later I would be crying and sometimes throwing things, soft plush-able things that wouldn’t break…
Every month my heart would sink and then it would rise again as I gave myself/us yet another chance…My eggs were amazing.
His Sperm was fine.

It was all Me though…something was/is wrong with my body.
People sometimes ask me if I’ve ever been pregnant before.
No, I never have.

…When I was younger I felt like a failure.
I cried once a month for years on out.
Half of a Woman unable to do that which would propagate my then Husbands ’self' and make him eternal…
...by giving birth to his Child.

The psychological ups and downs of not being able to conceive a Child can damage a Woman.
Then you have to ask your Spouse for the gift of life…via someone else.

…And if you are reading this and you have/had these issues…
…I have found out that…
One does not become Maternal by giving birth to a Child.
One becomes Maternal when a Child is placed in your arms and you call Your Child by their name.

My DNA will never go forth…
…but…
…My Children I truly believe I would have given birth to. They would have just come to me in different bodies.
I love the bodies they came to me in though. Each of them so precious and special, full of Love and independence. Gorgeous each of them…No really, they are some super fantastic, handsome and beautiful, great little beings.

Our story is Our’s and I know it’s precious and makes us who we are today.
My Children’s names are BrownNut, LoveBug and LittleGuy. They are my children and I am their Mother…

…And one more bit of advise…
Please don’t tell someone who is adopting because of infertility…
…”Oh, I know so and so and as soon as they adopted she got pregnant.”
It doesn’t help at all. It doesn’t give someone hope like you might think.
…it makes them remember the feelings of failure they have with their bodies that they have been trying to overcome for years.

Adoption: Some Answers

I think most of my readers are aware that my Children were adopted.
My Daughter, BrownNut, from Peru. Age 10 tomorrow.
My middle Son, LoveBug, from Korea. Age 8 last week.
And my youngest Son, ‘LittleGuy’, born in Japan but a U.S. domestic adoption. Age 7 today.

Not one of their adoptions was easy or inexpensive.
I have over heard people say that they don’t understand why adoption is so expensive…
…”It’s like you are buying a baby.”
Nothing bothers me more than that statement, other than…
…”You are not their real Mother.”

When we were living in Japan we were looked at by other Military Families who were looking to adopt as what could be described as experts on adoption…that was before our youngest was born…
…after that I was stopped constantly because we had reached a sort of celebrity status.

While my Ex was busy with work and I with Squadron Spouse duties and raising three Children I was able to find time, when asked, to sit on panels as prospective parents would ask questions…
...and often they didn’t like my answers.

There were always 3 predominant questions…
…”Why is it so expensive?”
…”How can we make the process easier?”
…”Why does it take so long?"

There are several reasons why International adoption is expensive.

First off you have SO much paperwork to fill out and if there is an official stamp the country you are adopting from will want it…and each one of those cost’s money and you are doing everything in triplicate…not to mention Fed Ex and over nighting things when needed.
…And then you have to get everything Notarized as well.
Then you have agency fee’s.
You are paying people to do a service for you…
…to find a Child that doesn’t not have parents and has been declared legally abandoned.
They post flies all over the City or Town the Child was found…
They post advertisements in Newspapers…
After a certain amount of time the Child is declared abandoned.
You have lawyer fees as well.

…and least not...
...If any of you has ever been to an orphanage you would know where some of the money goes.

How do you think an orphanage supplies food, milk, a roof and electricity for these Children. Some that aren’t legally abandoned that will just be housed and exist there indefinitely.
There are other places where the Children are taken care of, Foster homes.
Shouldn't these Foster Parents be compensated?


…As for making the process easier…

Well, most of us are not able to hire assistants to do paper work for us.
The paper work is extreme, must be dealt with in a timely manner and every i dotted and t crossed.
Even if you are using an Agency you are still required to do the paper work yourself…
…Nobody is going to do it for you.

On those panels I sat on people would ask…

…”But wait a minute, if I’m paying an Agency shouldn't they be doing the majority of the work?”
Me…”You are paying them to help you find a child and guide you in the process.”


Then there was the...

…”Why does the process take so long?"
Me…”I don’t know what your circumstances are. We all have our own story. You must start the process with the understanding no matter how long it takes you WILL find your Child and your Child will find their Parent. You have to look forward knowing it will take time. Sometimes it will take 1 year other times it will take 3. It’s all contingent on the country you are adopting from and the requirements you have given your Agency.”

The answers, like I said before, weren’t looked on with glee.
The process is long, there is a lot of money involved and the paperwork can make you go crazy.

…But…
…It’s worth every moment of waiting…

Sept. 1st.

My life is awesome.

This morning my Children got ready for school and I didn’t have to yell at them but 3 times…That’s really good.
I got them to school on time…that is VERY normal…they have never been late.

I dropped them off and proceeded home to take a shower and get ready for the day.
I was being picked up at 10:30 by F9 who was also picking up F1 and F2…
…We had some errands to run before we met up with everyone else.
10:37 comes along and they are still not here.
10:38 up drives, to my delightful surprise, SF in her vehicle with F1 and following is F9 and F2. I hop in F9’s car…
Me…”Why were you late?”
F9…”I was at the liquor store.”
F2 and Me…”Oh, well, that’s ok as long as it wasn’t PTO shit bull.”

Note…F9 is the PTO president…we all make fun of her because of it.

We get where we needed to go…Rockrimmon.
Rockrimmon is not that far but a world away you would think by the time we got there…
Poor SF could only stay for a bit and leaves F1 with us as we are meeting up later.
Rockrimmon is where the bears live, as I like to say.
We get what we need and start in the direction of our next destination.
We start talking about our next trip…
…Maybe New York!
F2…”We would have to see a show.”
F9…”Broadway or off broadway?”
Me…”Both.”
F1…”What’s the difference?”
The difference is explained and I start singing…
Me…”If I can make it there I’ll make it anywhere…!”
F1…”So you would be off broadway.”
And we cackle like only women can.
We head to Jimmy Johns.
Jimmy Johns is having an anniversary celebration $1.00 for all their sandwiches.

I was fairly confident we would NOT be eating there when they told me about the promotion.
We drive by and I have my text ready to send out to SF, F15 and Kat….who are all meeting us…(We each had our list of who to notify in the event we had a change of plans.)
There was a line out the door…DHhhuuuuuuuu!
To Chipotle we head to be met by…
SF, F16, Kat…and F15 who never showed up ‘cause she ended up making $$$
There we all are eating our naked burritos and chatting and planning away the next couple months.
…Our calendars are filling fast with events.
…September is all ready rocking and October, well, who doesn’t love an October full of fun!

Blah, blah, blah…

I decide to have a Halloween party the Friday before Halloween, the 28th.
F1’s B-day is Friday the 14th…we decide to make plans for the Ritz…'another night at the Roxberry’.

Blah, blah, blah…

F16 gets up to take her youngest to the bathroom…
Me…”I hate her body!”
Her body is smokin' hot and if you leave the table I WILL say something about you…and then say it to your face!…and I did when she returned.
It was a compliment.

We part ways and F 9 drives me home.
I’m planning on some meditation…aka…a nap.

I’m intruppted though by F15’s husband…"My brother from another Mother”.
…”Did you eat lunch yet.”
…”Yup:(“
…"Loser.”
…”Yup.”
…”You home? What do you have to drink?”
…”No Gatorade. Just vodka, rum, oh! and oj and milk.”
…”I’m comin' over.”
…”How long?”
…”5 min.”

My Brother from another Mother arrives with his lunch…Chipotle.
I make him some lemonade...
…and we begin our chat.
My Brother from another Mother and I are one day gonna write a book.
We share a lot of the same views with concerns to relationships, religion, politics…to how to raise Children!
You call it out or name it…he’s an Atheist and I’m a Wiccan…
…but we have the best conversations in the World, RESPECTFULLY!

He say to me…
…”I’m almost expecting you to start typing away.”

…And one day I will type away.
He has great logical views of the World we live in. A born Again Christian at the age of 12…They didn’t like his questions in Church!
…Then he left after a an hour or so.

My Ex was able to pick up our Children form school today…
…I have the night off to work on what I love to do…
…write…
…and make things in my ‘studio’ (a spare room that I keep my art supplies).

This is but a portion of my normal, tiny World I live.

A portion of a day in the life of Me, Myself and I….The Un-Holy Trinity that is Kristin.

My life is awesome.