Real Housewives Of NYC…I’m Sad To Hear Some Aren’t Returning

The news is out and the tears are flowing from under my glasses.
I can’t decide if it’s ‘cause I’m laughing so hard or I’ll miss some fabulously fucked up people.

NOT RETURNING are...

Jill  Zarin…
…A prima donna who can’t keep her mouth shut and thinks herself a designer...

Alex MacCord…
…Married to Simon Van Kempen (He’s really Gay, have you seen his clothes!). Alex thinks her MoFo’s are better than white sliced bread...they aren’t and...Alex, you wrote that book on parenting, well you need to read your own book (preview here for my Countessssss rage) just like the Countesssssss needs to read her own book. Oh, one more thing…you should hire a stylist…and stop letting your Gay Husband pick your clothes…NEWSFLASH…He’s not creative and all Gay men don’t have chi-chi (a sense of style) and the shit he makes you wear and the shit he wears himself hurts my eyes…and it’s hard to watch this trainwreck when I have to shield them!!!

This is the crackhead Kelly

Kelly Bensimon…
…The one I’ll miss the most I must admit. I don’t know if she’s high all the time or if maybe she SHOULD be! She’s an idiot and gives models a bad name…they are not all this stupid and dramatic.

and...

Cindy Barshop…
…She’s boring. She needed to get the ax.

So...Jill, Alex, Kelly and Cindy will not be returning have gotten sacked for the next season of The Real totally not real but still entertaining Housewives I’m calling a fowl here as 4 out of 7 of the trainwrecks are not even married Of New York City.

WILL BE RETURNING are...

Sonja Morgan…
…For some reason she thinks she’s a sex kitten but she’s to old to be a kitten and I won’t call her a Cougar ‘cause that is one of MY titles, my Panera Bread card says so.

This is the sexual intellectual LuAnn 

Ramona Singer…
…Crazy eyed bitch who wakes up with a glass of Pinot Grigio and you best have some available for her or she will get all crazy bitchy on your ass…Right Cindy The Boring Barshop?!

LuAnn "The Countessssss" de Lesseps…
…The Sexual Intellectual (another one of my monikers but this fits better than spanks on under another pair of spanks) aka FUCKING KNOW IT ALL!
I’m gonna go off now on the fake Countessssss, get ready…
…Who the fuck does she think she is?! She wrote a book on manners but never read it. Guess what you prissy bitch…I went to a finishing school and one of the things I took away was that when you use good manners it’s supposed to make people more comfortable around you…not uncomfortable. So stop with all your “manners” bullshit, read the book you wrote and stop lecturing people about how they are not allowed to ask someone if their boobs are fake…’cause Ramona should have just reached out and grabbed one of Kelly’s boobs and found out herself!
…also your poor Frenchified boyfriend Jacques is clueless because you lose your title Countessssss if you re-marry…we all know you wouldn’t give up that nom de plume as you think it makes you better than everyone else. It doesn’t. It probably makes you even more of a fucking bitch than you were without it.

So…Sonja, Ramona and that stupid bitch the Countessssss…will be returning.
…and I WILL be watching.