Friday, September 9, 2011

Dear Kathie Lee Gifford

Dear Kathie Lee Gifford,

Back when the earth was still cooling off and you were on that show with Regis the Man who I am sure would probably Molest any Woman that gave him a chance Philbin, I didn’t really like you.

Granted I didn’t watch that show often probably because I had a life, not really, I would have rather watched the paint on my finger nails dry…
...all you did was talk about Cody.
Cody, by the way you talked about him, I thought was the second coming of Christ.
I know you have a daughter…I have no recollection of her name though ‘cause all you did was babble about Cody.

Note…I could google your daughters name but can’t be bothered.

Time moved on and you got that gig on The Today show. You know, when NBC decided it would be cheaper to make the Today Show go on foreeeeeeeever than spend $$$ on another stupid Sit Com or Game Show, that only fat housewives that eat bonbons all day as their asses get bigger sitting on their couches people that can only read at a third grade level would watch.

Hell, the set is already there right?

Well, I judged you.
When I blew out my knee I all the sudden I had more time to sit on my ass on my sofa as my ass got bigger…I skipped the bonbons though.

Once in awhile I watch that last hour as you and Hoda parlay about your lives and other drivel stuff.
I admit, I have never seen the whole thing because I noticed my ass getting bigger and I can’t have that.

As I was saying…I judged you. I thought you were a prude whos idea of fun was telling the world about the second coming of Christ talking about Cody.
I have since learned though that you actually have THE COOLEST job.
You are a total lush.
I actually respect your Winesdays and such…anyone that can have a drink, on camera, before 11am is cool in my book.
You can Smack Talk(ish) too and you are not afraid to talk about S.E.X…one of my absolute favorite subjects!

This is me, The Un-Holy Trinity that is Me, Myself and I, Kristin…
…Apologizing to you…
In my special way.

Much love and success,
Kristin

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