Adoption: Some Answers

I think most of my readers are aware that my Children were adopted.
My Daughter, BrownNut, from Peru. Age 10 tomorrow.
My middle Son, LoveBug, from Korea. Age 8 last week.
And my youngest Son, ‘LittleGuy’, born in Japan but a U.S. domestic adoption. Age 7 today.

Not one of their adoptions was easy or inexpensive.
I have over heard people say that they don’t understand why adoption is so expensive…
…”It’s like you are buying a baby.”
Nothing bothers me more than that statement, other than…
…”You are not their real Mother.”

When we were living in Japan we were looked at by other Military Families who were looking to adopt as what could be described as experts on adoption…that was before our youngest was born…
…after that I was stopped constantly because we had reached a sort of celebrity status.

While my Ex was busy with work and I with Squadron Spouse duties and raising three Children I was able to find time, when asked, to sit on panels as prospective parents would ask questions…
...and often they didn’t like my answers.

There were always 3 predominant questions…
…”Why is it so expensive?”
…”How can we make the process easier?”
…”Why does it take so long?"

There are several reasons why International adoption is expensive.

First off you have SO much paperwork to fill out and if there is an official stamp the country you are adopting from will want it…and each one of those cost’s money and you are doing everything in triplicate…not to mention Fed Ex and over nighting things when needed.
…And then you have to get everything Notarized as well.
Then you have agency fee’s.
You are paying people to do a service for you…
…to find a Child that doesn’t not have parents and has been declared legally abandoned.
They post flies all over the City or Town the Child was found…
They post advertisements in Newspapers…
After a certain amount of time the Child is declared abandoned.
You have lawyer fees as well.

…and least not...
...If any of you has ever been to an orphanage you would know where some of the money goes.

How do you think an orphanage supplies food, milk, a roof and electricity for these Children. Some that aren’t legally abandoned that will just be housed and exist there indefinitely.
There are other places where the Children are taken care of, Foster homes.
Shouldn't these Foster Parents be compensated?


…As for making the process easier…

Well, most of us are not able to hire assistants to do paper work for us.
The paper work is extreme, must be dealt with in a timely manner and every i dotted and t crossed.
Even if you are using an Agency you are still required to do the paper work yourself…
…Nobody is going to do it for you.

On those panels I sat on people would ask…

…”But wait a minute, if I’m paying an Agency shouldn't they be doing the majority of the work?”
Me…”You are paying them to help you find a child and guide you in the process.”


Then there was the...

…”Why does the process take so long?"
Me…”I don’t know what your circumstances are. We all have our own story. You must start the process with the understanding no matter how long it takes you WILL find your Child and your Child will find their Parent. You have to look forward knowing it will take time. Sometimes it will take 1 year other times it will take 3. It’s all contingent on the country you are adopting from and the requirements you have given your Agency.”

The answers, like I said before, weren’t looked on with glee.
The process is long, there is a lot of money involved and the paperwork can make you go crazy.

…But…
…It’s worth every moment of waiting…