Friday night:
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| This is my friends husband. |
I am late to said party because Kat’s Camper shows up and we need to attach the hitch…3 hours later…WE ARE WINNERS!!!
I head to F1’s house and she has a house FULL…I have to do my cooking there…I wanted to do it at my place but…shit happens.
Saturday:
F1’spouse has coffee for me and is making bacon…I read their paper and head on out...
Nothing to do but write and watch Dr. Who on BBC America.
Sunday:
Nothing to do but write and watch Top Gear on BBC America.
Monday:
I write in the AM and Kat shows up around 1…we get shitty drunk and talk about all the people we have lost…it’s not an average amount and we are 2 Trainwrecks. Some of the people were, well, very close to us…my old boyfriend and...worse her Husband.
Tuesday:
My Children are dropped off and see the Camper that is now parked on my side yard. I have room for it and she doesn’t.
They are shitty excited and move right into it like it’s their new house…sans the screaming Mother, me.
All the Children are playing well and end up having Ice Cream before dinner and everyone is happy.
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| Bob’s casa |
They find an injured fledgling. (That’s a baby bird.)
I don’t know this.
It starts getting dark and I yell all their Names…The ol’ shout to come home old school Mom play.
I hear from a distance my Daughter…
E…”Coming!”
It seems they brought this fledgling to their Gym teacher that lives a couple of streets up.
Me…”What on earth are you thinking?! It’s his summer vacation AWAY from you guys!”
So now we have this bird, Bob…for the night till I can take it to the WildLife refuge.
Wednesday:
Bob doing ok. I am happily optimistic.
My friend T drops off her 2 year old so I can watch her.
We are all checking how Bob is doing…
Still good.
8:30 am and I check on Bob.
Oh Shit!!!! Mother Fucker!!! Bob is still alive….but not looking so good.
Me…”hurry up get dressed now!”
We hurry out the door and my daughter keeps asking me…
E…”How much farther?!”
I give her minute to minute updates…
We get there and by now my daughter is balling!
I hand poor dead Bob to the man behind the counter at the WildLife refuge.
The whole thing didn’t go very well.
I’m sick of animal dying around me…and my daughter is a MESS!
Oh well?
Survival of the fittest?
I really hope this is the last sad thing that will happen.
Yada, yada…My house now looks like it’s been trashed by Storm Troopers looking for Han, Luke and Leia. I think I should put my Gold Cat suit on and pretend I am C3PO walking around like a robot cleaning up after them.
We head to Costco and some jackass driving, while we are crossing in the cross walk decides my Children and I are expendable.
Mother Fucker! I put my hand up and give this shitty piece of a human some choice words at the drivers side window…When I get angry, which is NOT often...but lately to often…being that my knee still hurts…relationships are fucking retarded and well I don’t know what else but I have been a total fucking bitch the last…what? month or two?
…and some idiot is now, in my eyes having intent to harm these Children of mine that yes, frustrate me, but that I would lay my body down for….don’t fuck with my Children…I’m their MOM!
He turned around and left the parking lot.
$169.00 later I think I’ll have enough food for my youngest to last a couple of days at least.
12:30pm
POOL TIME!!!
All my Children have done, except in public thank all the God’s, is fight with each other.
I’ve packed everything I can imagine, except candy…fruit, veggies, chips and dips…
It’s time to ‘head out like a fetus’ and my youngest can’t find his bathing suit.
This is AFTER his sister hits him in the chest.
So now I have to go to Target and buy him one.
More fighting ins-sues…
Me…”Ya know what?! I would make you all stay home as punishment but then I would have to listen to you all fight and at least at the pool I don’t have to see you.”
Note…My Children are fishes in pools and the Ocean and have been swimming on their own for 5 years now.
E…”WHAT?! You don’t want to see us?”
Me…”I’m sick of the fighting. This is gonna be one long summer if you all don’t get your act together!” (For ME!)
I explain how I can love them and still be frustrated with them at the same time.
On the way to the store another idiot driver I encounter…they have forgotten their vehicle came with an INDICATOR...to let me know they are turning, so I don’t have to play some guessing game…They don’t use it and almost stop on the road to make a turn…They must know I have some awesome psychic abilities ‘cause I was not driving in “close formation” which is my norm.
We get to Target.
E looks at me shoeless.
Really?! I told them ALL to put their shoes on!
Then I see that my middle…sweet love bug…decided he didn’t need shorts…
I am gonna go insane! (He has just his bathing suit on but nothing to change in to after his shower after the pool)…I got this!)
So I leave the 2 older ones in my MiniVan and head in with the youngest…
With a STRONG warning that if they touch any of my shit I will kill them.
You as the reader can use your imagination as to my exact wording….but if you know me…you know it was ‘colourful’ to say the least.
Don’t worry, I cracked the window.
At the pool…
Peace with my girl friends but by this point I want to ask who brought the fucking vodka.
F1, F2, F4 and SF…
F1, F2 and SF and I are heading to Vegas in August with probably a couple of other Moms in need…
So we start planing our outfits…
F1…”Well we have the cabana reserved for Saturday so anyone we like we can invite them on sat…”
We chat…
F1, F4 and SF have to leave for music and gymnastics practice…
F2 and I are sitting there and she says to me…
…”You were a lot nicer on your pain meeds. You should try to get back on them!”
7:47 now…I can hear almost all the Children gathered in my hood playing up the street…
And I am hoping assorted berries, pastries and yogurt are ok for dinner.
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