I’d like to share a story of a woman who I thought had made leaps and bounds with her Ex-Husband. This is a couple I know well. I knew them while they were married. I am even closer to her now.
I have nothing against her Ex-Husband. He is a GREAT Father and honestly, he treats my friend congenial...now that they are divorced.
The other day I joined her to watch her Children play in one of their sporting events. The Children’s Father is the head Coach and he has an assistant Coach, one that was appointed to him. The Asst. Coach is a woman that he would not normally socialize with.
Note…
The Ex will be ’S’
My friend will be ‘C'
The Asst. Coach will be ‘L’
C and I are sitting on a blanket watching the game. The sun showing itself periodically from behind the fast moving clouds. The winds were bursting open thick and fast at times raising the dust from a trail near by…the grass was gentle and comfortable, kelly green in colour…
We are cheering away as the Children play…cheering for both teams as they are all working hard. Half Time arrives and the Asst. Coach, L, right in front of us , approaches, S, and asks him a question with concerns to one of the Children.
Note…There is a back story I am told, but sincerely, it is irrelevant. It wasn’t what the argument was about but how S, dealt with it.
L and S are quarreling. I look over at C and she can’t take her eyes off them. I am watching all this go down. I can see that C’s eyes are welling up and I imagine her heart is aching for L. S has a skill to make someone feel inferior, foolish and wrong. He did this to C for years. I suppose it was unknowingly, at least that’s what I want to believe. C now has a skill of her own, to hide her feelings in the deepest hollow of her soul. I know she wants to let it all out.
I want to talk to C about this but don’t want to do it till after the game. I don’t want to upset her and I know she is a proud woman who doesn’t want people to know how much she was hurt.
The game ends and I am talking to the children telling them how well they played. I see C talking to L…I can’t wait to find out what was said.
Now we are in the car. C’s Children are with her Ex so we are able to talk freely.
Me…”You ok? What happened?”
C…”No, I’m not ok. Did you see L?!”
…”Did you notice how long she was gone after the ‘issue’?”
I had noticed that L had disappeared for quite a bit.
Me…”Wanna talk about it?”
C…”...All I wanted to do was get up and get in-between the two of them and protect her from those words. I know he didn’t say anything that could have been construed as mean or derogatory…it was the WAY he said it.
I let C go on and on…
..."I couldn’t get the fuck up, I was scared to death he would say something to me. My legs were like fucking jello. Does he know how much it hurts?! When I went over to talk to her I think she realized why he was my Ex husband. She said she had to get away because she was going to cry. All those years I put up with it…I really thought I could do it now…ya, know...Stand up for another woman and not let it happen to them. It was HIM though. I can’t tell you after so many years how often I would just shut down around him. I thought I was strong enough now. I feel like, not a failure, but holy shit I have a long way to go. I won’t let that happen again...”
I can see her in the future getting in a fight with someone now. She’s a bit passionate. She’s still learning but with each hurdle she seems to be able to jump higher.
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