Road Rage

I have serious anger issues…I laugh as I type…’cause I really don’t.

That Kiss and Drop line Piss and Drop line though or the Stop and Go Kick and Go whatever you want to call it puts me over the edge almost every morning!

I must mouth…”YOUR STUPID!” a hundred times…Ok, maybe not really a hundred, I exaggerate.

One day I fear this will happen…
I will be minding my own business at some middle class run of the mill establishment like Target or Starbucks.

Note...There is a Starbucks in our Target so for my story line I’ll be in Target after a visit to Starbucks. …

I’ll have my steamy, skinny latte with whip in hand, dressed like I just came from or am going to some shindig that no one else was invited to including me and I will be perusing the isles for nothing in particular killin’ time before I head to lunch with my Friends and some stranger in sweat pants pushing a cart filled with picture frames that she will put photos of her Children in, hang them on the wall in her house she doesn’t clean often enough and is decorated with ducks, plaid and lazy easychairs...will approach me…
This is what will go down…

Her…”You have a serious problem.”

Note…she will recognize me. I won’t recognize her because the last time I saw her she had infuriated me with her stupid, retarded, mentally slow self  to the point that my eyes had glazed over with fury she had made me so angry...

Me…”I’m sorry is there toilet paper hanging from my pants?” As I smile and flash my intensely white teeth…
…I consider toilet paper hanging out of my pants a serious problem.
Her…”No…What is your problem at the school?!”
Me…”Ohhhhhh.” I gaze at her feeling bad ‘cause she doesn’t know…
…THAT SHE’S STUPID!
Me…”What kind of car, truck or van do you drive?”

I will then give a diatribe calmly describing my issues with retarded mentally slow people and that there was…
…no need to sit in her car and watch her Child get INTO the school building and hold up all the traffic.
…wait for some other retard mentally slow person to let her in the  OTHER lane as she holds up all the traffic, when she should be already dropping her Child off ‘cause HER lane is EMPTY.
There are a lot of issues I have and everyday someone does something even more retarded mentally slow which creates more issues with me.

Enough about the school…now I’m gonna bitch about other retards mentally slow people...

Indicators…
An indicator is that little dodad to the left of your steering wheel that you flip up for right and down for left.
…or if you have ever lived where ya drove on the left side you just turn your windshield wipers on…
As I was saying…
This morning I’m at a stop sign and a car is coming down the road, in the left lane. I see this and start to pull out…this jackass though doesn’t know where his indicators are I’m guessing(?) and that under normal circumstance if you are changing lanes or turning you INDICATE to those around you of your intentions…Because I had to come to a crashing screaming halt because YOU didn’t INDICATE you were gonna randomly change lanes for no other reason that I can gather but to give me fodder for this ridiculous bitchy blog!
You’re Mcfucktard.

I could go on and on about indicators…I have a problem when people don’t use them because to many people think they are special (?)…yeah they are, short bus special!

Note…Don’t get your panties in a wad just ‘cause I made a reference to ‘the short bus’.

Oh and one more thing…
…for now…
Speeding…
Speeding is fine. It’s not really putting you out, or me…If you are going faster than me I’ll INDICATE I’ll get out of the way and into the other lane to let you by. I’m NOT the Mcfucktard that will deliberately slow down in front of you.
I however will most likely be the one going the fastest…
‘Cause if you haven’t noticed yet I’m going nowhere…FAST!

Note…I don’t really have road rage…I’m usually laughing at peoples retarded-ness mentally slow actions so hard I’m crying.