Keeping My Perspective In Check

Everyone has one of those days that you feel the Universe is out to get you…
I had fair warning when the Universe sent me this E-mail…

Did you know, kristin, that it's perfectly OK, even highly ideal, to claim all is well amongst doubt and confusion? To be happy in spite of challenges? To laugh at problems? Dance without a partner? Sing without a rhyme? Talk to inanimate objects? 

Oddly, most don't. 

You so rock, 
    The Universe
Habits worth cultivating, kristin. Go for it.

I wondered what is in store for my day and I cringed while reading it…

…I read it like this…

Hey sweet heart you better find a coupon for some lube today cause it’s gonna feel like someone is raping you in the ass.

Crass I know but I had a feeling when I woke I was going to need my sense of humor and keep my perspective in check.

Blagghhhhhhhhh!!! FUCK!

My really cool MiniVan has been making some odd noises.
My smart phone has been acting stupid…it has been crashing either daily or several times a day.
My right wrist felt like it had been hit by a hammer.
I wonder should I go on?
Nah…that will be my focus.

Titanium by David Guetta and Sia comes on…
Titanium…I’m gonna have to let nothing get me down.
I have litteral titanium in me…let’s go with the flow.

My Children were fabulous as they got ready for school.
I dropped them off and I had not ONE problem in the Piss ad Drop line…I was happily amazed.

Keep the focus on the positive…
Then my phone crashed AGAIN…

…but my ride…I had to take it in…
I pack up my MacBook and think I can get some work done while I am waiting, crossing my fingers that a simple oil change will be the answer all the while knowing it won’t.
First a trip to Chick Fil A to get my delicious diet Arnold Palmer to keep me company then off drive to the dealership...sense of humor on my sleeve and smile on my face…
I’m scared, nervous and ready to get raped hear bad news.

…and bad news it was.
My Ride needed new break pads, the transmission needed a boost to it’s self-esteem (remember, I knew some fasizzle was seriously wrong) and other shit too…

It’s gonna be hours and there is no way I am gonna sit in the dealership waiting…so I catch a ride home.
On the way I home I just wanted to cry…so much going on and most of it is out of my fucked up hands.
I had to focus on what I COULD fix.
When I get home I realize much to my dismay I had forgotten my delicious beverage at the dealership.
Could I take more?!

Hours later it’s ready to get picked up and Kat drives me…F7 on the way sends me a text…
…’Do you need me to pick up the Goats?”
Me…’….Are you psychic?!!!!!!’
I hadn’t told anyone about my tangible, expensive problems.
…and then I thought about it…who had I told?
Oh Yeah!!! I was supposed to meet the girls at the gym, we had scheduled a 10am hot tub meeting(?) smack talk session which I knew I wasn’t gonna make so I had sent F1 a text saying I had to take my ride in…
…I wonder how much smack was spoken about me?

…back at the dealership…
$$$$$
The cashier says to me…
…"do you qualify for any of these discounts?"
Me…”Would you be so kind to give me the Military discount? I have 3 of those ID cards;)”
Her…”Yeah, no problem.”
The discount shaved a significant amount of $ off my bill but…
...I should be floating because the money I used to have is no longer weighing me down…no new shoes for months!!!

I was grateful to her and honest about the ID cards. She figured it this way…
…"you drive them around don’t you?”

On the way home my phone is still being an asshole and it’s a serious problem for me…
To T-Mobile I go…

I don’t want/cant afford a new phone.
I’m keeping a positive attitude
The very nice guy that works there sits down with me and has a look at my piece of shit phone. It won’t do a damn thing. It’s frozen again.
He tells me the good news…
…”I think we can fix it by wiping it clean. You will loose everything but your contacts.”
Me…”All right”
…as he fixes my phone we chat and he pulls up my account to see how much a new phone would be if it can’t be fixed. As he looks at my account he says to me…
…”We have a new plan. It’s the same one you have now but $20 cheaper…”
Me…”Sign me up for that fashizzle!”
We talk about Angry Birds and how I have 24 golden eggs…I’m so proud of my retarded mentally slow achievement.

My phone has been de-bitchified is fixed. My bill will be less per month and I am again grateful.
I have lost ALL my Golden Eggs though.

My lube for the day was perspective and a sense of humor.
The people that helped me were kind…had I carried a chip on my shoulder it could have gone a different direction.
…but no…
I pretended all was well.
I was happy even though I was challenged.
I did a gig.
I laughed at my problems.
…and yes I did talk to inanimate objects.