My Period, it’s not just a bloody mess

The last two days it’s felt like my uterine lining was angry at me as it tried to claw its way out of my body; tired of my narcissistic, Un-Holy ways AKA I’m gonna get my period and all that clawing is gonna leave me with a bloody mess.
I swear I did nothing to make it angry with me…other than being a Woman.

I drank tons of water so as to discover I was not in my “first trimester”…the more water I drink, the more I go pee and more chance of me seeing…

…”Wahoooooooo…” I can get on with my life.

…And do a happy dance with maybe a fist pump here or there.

This is not because I’m scared I’m pregnant. Nope, it’s that waiting for the start of it is stressful. When it starts I know it's the beginning and I can count the days for it to be over! 

Sometimes we wake up, go pee and…BAM!

Surprise, a day or two early…

…”Mother fucker…I hate this!”

It’s so irritating…I know I’ve written about it before but realistically this is the real deal.

http://behindthebookscover.blogspot.com/2011/01/red-tentperiod-aunt-dot-niddah.html

The above blog is probably one of my better written trainwrecks about this subject.

My abdomen…

I’ve been picking my clothes carefully the last couple of days..’cause that’s what Women do a couple days before their cycle starts they get their period.

I put a dress on the other day, it was a soft gray and ankle length with an empire waist. I looked in the mirror, turned to the side and HOLY SHIZ! I looked like I was in my second trimester! The bloating was out of control! I put on my size 3 juniors levi’s and HOLY SHIZ!

Muffins anyone?

My Period does not just wreak havoc in my neither regions...

My breasts boobs…

The other day it hurt my nipples when I put my bra on…After I got it on I was grateful for the T-shirt bra that separated my nipples from the, what would have felt like sand paper against my nipples, silk shirt.
I woke up in the morning and my breasts boobs felt like they had grown 2 sizes and I was now a 34 DD…OVER NIGHT…much to my dismay they didn’t look it, they just felt like it…or that someone had been punching the sides of my breasts boobs in a very rude manner that caused them to feel this dreadful…like they are/were bruised all over…but with no marks.

My face…

I swear I go to sleep several nights before my period starts with toothpaste on my face; as I try to rid myself of those marks on my face that scream to the public that hormones are raging through my system…and I will soon join the Women in the Red Tent for I will be unclean.

It’s a pain in my...

There you are in the midst of this bloody mess (that’s a British term) and that first night or the night before you are kept up as the pain sweeps through your love area…
I woke up last night from a dream…
Allah (yes, I just said that) saying to me as he squeezes my barren uterus in a death grip…
…”This is your punishment for your heathen ways Witch! Cover your flesh and respect all Men for they cannot control themselves around you!"

As far as my emotions go…

Well, I’m not really a chick (a guy can be a chick) these days, a Woman yes, not overly sensitive and relatively grounded compared to others I have found.
However…
I find I’m more pessimistic in the days before. I worry about things like: the dirt on the floor…more than I would on normal days.
I’m also meaner. I will put up less with people’s unreasonable, illogical, superficial, inconsiderate  ways…My patience is not all there.
I truly wonder if that saying applies…

“My 

greatest 

fear 

is that 

there is

 no PMS 

and this

 is

 my personality."

Am I just masking my true self the others days/weeks in the month and hiding who I really am?!
I try to reign myself in…knowing that this is just part of my monthly cycle of life(?) Nah…No life will grow there, in me that is…
And if I ever did get pregnant it would be a "fucking miracle"…No really, it would.

I’ve been dealing with this monthly since I was 13 years old…I’m 40…you would think I had gotten used to it.