Road Trip

Kat and I are going on a cross country trip from the foot hills of the Rocky Mountains of Colorado to the foot hills of the Smokey Mountains in Tennessee…with 5 Children by 5 different baby daddies…names and ages; Fatty 3, Tiny 5, Little Guy 6, Bug 7 and Brown Nut 9.
…and an 11 week old boy Chihuahua Chiwawawawa…Colbalt.

…it’s bad when we go out here locally together…retarded mentally slow people are always getting the wrong idea. I may be a switch hitter but Kat most certainly is NOT!
Sometimes we get asked…
…”Oh do you guys run a daycare?”
The Children…”Why are people so stupid?”
...
Mother’s day we all went out for lunch, obviously not running a daycare, and people were LITERALLY pointing at us. I pointed back.
Kat is bringing a couple plaid flannel shirts…she’s fucking hilarious.
I am gonna bring some lipstick…
…does anybody get that?

We will be hauling a camping trailer behind us…we have no clue what we are getting into…but think it’s gonna spell…T.R.O.U.B.L.E….and by all the Gods…We are gonna have a blast!…We hope...
Kat…”We can do anything we want!”

Kat’s done a ton of research so I’m not worried about a damn thing but feeding us and driving…and 'herding cats’.

Lines that will most likely be said…

…”I’m sorry Miss all the pull throughs are reserved.”…
Us…”Well, we are pretty sure you will have one more pull through when we leave, our sincerest apologizes ahead of time."

Me…”Kansas is really fucking long."

Us…”Please get out of the way. We really don’t want to have to change lanes!”

Me…”Kansas blows!"

Us…”Fuck! I think that was our turn…back there…there is no fucking way we can turn this bitch around…how far till the next exit and can we back track?"

Me…”You know why it’s so windy in Oklahoma? ‘Cause Kansas blows and Texas sucks!"
Kat…”Is that the ONLY joke you know?”
Me…”Yes."

Me…”Hey! No riding qwerty!”

Kat…”Cool, Bright Orange Barrels…slalom time!”

Todays discussion on our up coming trip…
...that we are still trying to think of a good name for…
Was…
Kat…”I wonder how long we can drive before someone has to use the bathroom?”
Me…”4 hours…we are gonna dehydrate them.”
Kat…”Oh I never thought about that.”
Me…”Yeah well I have traveled the world with my three, it works like a charm and they won’t die of dehydration in a few hours…”

The first leg of our unnamed trip is ‘supposed’ to take 6 and 1/2 hours.
We have a ‘pull through’ reservation at someplace called Sundown? in Selena, Kansas on July 5th.
a few of the rules there…
…No profanity or inappropriate behavior…
…or somefuckingthing like that.

Kat and I would like to invite you along on this yet to be named journey.
Advise will be taken in to consideration…
…Oh I just had a brilliant idea!!!!
I have a twitter account!
So I will tweet what’s going on as well! (I’m old, I forget things)
Sadly and excitedly I am the only one of me in the world I have so far deduced… and I guess will now invite you to follow me on twitter…
Kristin Dallin…yes, that’s my twitter name, very unoriginal.