Well, maybe it’s what I want…
I’m not in your brain. Hell, I can hardly stand going into mine as it confounds me at times and I am confused enough already.
If you read my blog, you know I am interested in world domination. (There is no question mark here.)
To be single and have as many pretend boyfriends that I want? (There is a question mark today, tomorrow I might want to remove it.)
I like being single I won’t renounce this.
I enjoy watching what I want on MY T.V. If I want to leave the dishes till the morning I don’t want someone standing behind, judging my housekeeping skills, or lack there of. (Oh, you mean you don’t know how to do dishes?)
I adore staying up as late as I want. (Which is never really that late, but the option is there now.)
I cherish the thought of a COLD sandwich for dinner once in awhile and not having to cook a hot meal every night no matter what is on the schedule.
I miss talking about daily events, discussing stories in the newspapers after being read….and as I complain above about hot meals everyday….I miss cooking for someone that thinks I have talent, albeit only a little, in that arena.
Since the big D. I have been happier than ever. I have also noticed that I haven’t lost all hope in the being that is male, but it is some sketchy shit. I’m glad I am an artist and can make something of this once in awhile.
If I have issues though it’s me, I know it.
I have come to the point that having dude like tendencies makes things easier. There is less drama, no tears and no expectations.
As I type this out my eyes are dry and my heart impenetrable. I think I was given a magical suit or armor, unknowingly sometime years ago to get through the ‘bad times’…..years and years ago.
My dude like tendencies…
I look like a girl.
but….
I have short hair. I am not ashamed to be SEEN.
I treat men like they treat women. (If this pains you forgive me please, it keeps ME safe.)
This actually will hurt some of the men I know…but I am the center of the Universe for it is infinite…
I truly try to understand men and emulate how they act. They make it seem so easy.
Is it really that easy? Yes, I have found it is. Horrible right?
I know some men though that are much more sensitive than me, caring, loving…yada, yada, yada. I really feel like a dude when I talk to them. I love them and wish I could be as caring as them.
All being said when a man meets a woman he immediately puts her in a place in his life, friend, fuck buddy, lover, potential lifetime partner.
Bethany (from Real Housewives of NY)…”A hole is a hole, even in the dark.”
I swear it’s the motto of almost every man I know. If we understand this as women we know what we mean to them and it makes it easier to understand the place we belong in their lives…until further notice that is.
I said "ALMOST”!…it is not all.
My very good friend posted this as her FB status today….
…"Behind the story I tell is the one I don’t…behind the story you hear is the one I wish I could make you hear.”- Dorothy Alliso
Can you hear me?
I’m not a dude.
I love flowers,
La Perla...
A compliment may go farther than you can imagine!
(Married friends….keep it alive! Don’t screw it up and pay attention to each other!)
As to what I want.
I have no clue. It’s not about things…I do know that my relationships are so dysfunctional it’s silly, not in the funny way.
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