The McRib

Yesterday after I picked up my son from Korean school I decided to treat my Children because I had been to lazy to go to the grocery store and didn’t think ramen would be acceptable two days in a row.
One wanted Subway the other two wanted McDonalds.
While at Subway I ordered Myself an Italian BMT….(thankfully, but I’ll get to that later.)
We headed to McDonalds which is the official restaurant of the Olympics (????!!!!)

How many Olympians actually eat McDonalds?... and do you really think it would be a good choice if you are in-training to be one of our great athletes?

So there I am in the drive thru and I see the McRib on the menu.
My inner black man starts screaming at me!!! I can say this...I may be white but I’m African American for reals...
I’ve never had a McRib before.
I have a commercial flashback, similar I think to an LSD flashback because I’m about to do something retarded mentally slow…
…McRib commercials stream into my gray matter all at once, brazen rainbows dazzling my psyche, birds start chirping in a language only I can understand…
I am no longer in control…I have no clue where Me and Myself are either!

Me…”We would like to have a McRib, 2 Quarter Pounders…please, thank you…yada, yada, yada.”

We get home with all our fashizzle and set the table up.

A picture is worth a thousand words but I’m to unindustrious to count mine…

I open up my shiny container with the knowledge of an Oracle that there is nothing magic in the box and I will be disappointed…

My first bite was…
…of uninteresting bread topped with sesame seeds…for flavor?…
Then my teeth bite through an object that can only be described as solidified wall paper paste with a sauce, BBQ…?…bland, weak and tame.
What’s the big deal?
Is the commercial so enveloping we can not see what we KNOW to be true?!
It’s shit in a satiny package!...made of cardboard.
I look at the McRib that I have bitten into…I give it another go, maybe it’s just me…

That’s SUPPOSED to be pork?…product!

The inside looks like left over flesh after a cosmetic surgical procedure following a season of the biggest loser. 

I’ve seen hot dogs made of more austere pig parts than this mess...

You can put pickles, onions and some dreadful sauce…you can shape this monstrosity of meat product (I did not cross that out on purpose)…into an artful pose but it will always be…

…a temptation to never order one again…

I ate my BMT from Subway————>

That I had ordered earlier...

A quarter of it anyway…thankful I had REAL food to sink my teeth into…something with flavor