ManHater

Yesterday, or the day before, I can’t remember…we spend so much time together…
…Kat and I were chatting and she shared with me a conversation my daughter, BrownNut and she had earlier in the day.

BN…”I think I figured out why Colbalt, barks at men.”

Note…Colbalt is one of Kat’s Chiwawawas Chihuahuas. He weighs 1.3 Lbs and is a tea cup. He’s awesome and has a half brother, Pedro…who’s a bit bigger. They have an incestuous, gay relationship full of love…they are a fabulous additions to her family.
Colbalt only barks at only Men.

K…”Why do you think that?”
BN…”I think he over hears you and my Mom talking about Men.”

Note…If you are a Man remotely in my life or ever have been don’t worry…I have a nickname for each and every one of you! You probably just don’t know it…although I know one knows his name.

It seems her wit had taken her to a place I would have never gone as she eavesdropped on us for years now…

BN…”He knows you and my Mom don’t like Men. That’s why he barks and growls at them.”
K…”We don’t hate Men and Colbalt doesn’t understand a word we say.”

It was probably more what I say than what Kat had ever said…

The other day Kat and I were discussing my upcoming 40th Birthday and what I was planning for it.

Me…”I don’t know. I know everyone is expecting me to have a big party but I really don’t feel like it…being THE only person without a date yet again.”

It’s really hard for some people to understand but I get stood up often…and all but once for one of my parties.
Do you know how embarrassing that is?!
I may play it off well, but even I can only take so many baseball bats to my ego before I put my arms up and say…
…”Fuck it!”
…and I’m not talking literally. The Men I have ever asked to be my date for any event and stood me up…I KNOW and still do. I still talk to them and I consider them my friends.
Maybe that’s the problem?!

I had to explain to my daughter that I don’t hate Men. Not at all.

When I got divorced I knew Men wouldn’t want to be associated with someone like me…
…divorced.
…almost 40.
…3 Children.
…lives in the Ghetto. (That’s a joke. I don’t live in the ghetto.)
and...
…drives a MINIVAN!

I can’t even take myself seriously. Why should anyone else?
As I write type this I've come to the conclusion that I never should have expected any of them to actually show up. ‘Cause then they would have had to be scene seen with me….and then perhaps someone could have gotten the wrong idea.

I don’t hate Men, not at all…but with my impending 40th Birthday…
…well…
…I don’t want to have a party and show up to MY party, the only one without a date!

…I’ll probably have one though…
…When I have a party my goal is always to GIVE BACK to my friends who have given me so much through out the year.
…and what years I’ve had lately…I have a lot to give back.

So…Ladies and F17 (who shares my Bday-ish) with me…You may have something planned…
…But so do I!
…And I plan on having no date…
It just won’t be ON my birthday….as it seems F17 and I already have plans because WE have the BEST friends in the world…and everyone else should be jealous…
…I just don’t know what those plans are...