Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Over Easy...A Review...Over Rated

Saturday, May 17, Kevin and I didn't have the children so he planned to take me out to a nice breakfast.
Over Easy is a part of a local company...they own Salsa Brava and Sonterra...both of which I like and have had no complaint.
Over Easy has two locations...downtown on Tejon and Nevada near Costco. I love Costco. We went to the one on Nevada.

We get there around 9:30am. There is a wait, which we expect...it's only been opened about a month. We put our name on the list and grab some coffee from the, 'help yourself thanks for waiting carafe'. We fill our paper cups and take them outside on to the crisp morning and watch the traffic in the parking lot.
There was lots to see.
The Subaru with the 'Stay Calm and Chive On' sticker...on their gas tank door?!
What the hell does Keep calm and chive on mean anyway? Hipster trendy anyone? It's a sticker dumbass...you can't unstick it when it's no longer trendy!
There were families and such.
There was the honking of horns when someone tried to reverse from their spot and someone else had decided that the parking lot, behind parked cars, was a good place to wait...and almost get hit...I don't know which was more of an idiot...the one that didn't look behind them when reversing or the inconsiderate jerk that thought a parking spot was above them.


Our flashy vibrator square thingy goes off...
The Hostesses were nice and well spoken. (Well spoken?...yes, I have to add that.) She's excited she won't be a hostess for long...she's moving up to "Expo".
Kevin..."What's "expo""?
Me..."Expediting...which food goes to which table."
Her..."It's supposed to be the hardest job."
Us..."Good luck!"
Kevin and I have conversations with people. When we ask "how's your day?" We mean it...we want to know...and if it's bad we will try to bring your day some joy in our own special way. However we don't understand people...it's like smelling the number 9. (I actually CAN smell the number 9 but there are different kinds...some have an aroma of positivity others are bad knockoffs trying to fool others.)

We actually got a table but would have been fine sitting at the communal hipster trendy bar table or the actual bar.
Our waiter arrives...I wish I could remember his name...He's lucky I can't.
..."Hi! My name is ____, Jessica and I will be hanging out with you today!"... overly fake enthusiastically said and all I could think of... I don't want you to hang out with us all day.

We peruse the menu...it's simple. I like that. They also have bloody mary's...I love that. I love bloody marys.
I order my bloody mary, extra spicy and Kevin orders a large orange juice.
I'm told I can make my bloody mary myself at the bloody mary bar.
He asks if I want salt on my glass rim or not...I thought to myself...I ordered a bloody mary not a margarita?! He should have asked...do I want Old Bay seasoning on my glass rim. I'm realizing I don't know anything at this point...and as the meal goes on I'll find out I'm out right ignorant of food.

I take my non salt rimmed glass filled with some organic hipster vodka to the help yourself bar in the corner. An uncomfortable...everyone is looking at me feeling came over me as I got to the cramped, corner spot. They had everything I could have wanted and also what I think was bacon on a skewer...but looked like wood bark on a stick. I skipped it.
I sauntered back to the table wishing the bartender could have just made my bloody mary themselves...I can do this at home.
There is Kevin's large orange juice sitting in front of him next to his water...both are in glasses a tad bit bigger then a shot glass.
Get used to the word hipster...
We ordered our breakfast ...
I got the
Tuscan Eggs Benedict 
Prosciutto / Tomato / Fresh Basil / Hollandaise / Balsamic Drizzle
He chose...
Peace, Love & Pancakes Flight (3)
Fred's Hawaiian Pancakes 
Hawaiian Super Sweet Pineapple / Toasted Coconut / Housemade Vanilla Cream Anglaise / Cinnamon Butter
Strawberry Cheesecake Pancakes 
Fresh Strawberries / Chunks of NY Cheesecake / Grand Marnier Strawberry Sauce / Whipped Cream
Colorado Blueberry Streusel Pancakes 
Fresh Blueberries / Toasted Streusel / Lemon Honey Butter / Blueberry Infused Maple Syrup

I love food. I have an infatuation with Eggs Benedict...all kinds, traditional and non. I'm mad for runny yolks and cooked egg whites. I believe Hollandaise is the nectar of the God's.
Our food arrives within a reasonable amount of time considering how busy they were. A young man drop/slides (like a skier reaching the end of the run...swhoosh...plop) our food on the table.
I was perturbed at his lack of care he showed my egg yolks, the plates, the other stuff on the table and us. Maybe it was my imagination I thought.
I asked for some tabasco...yes...I like tabasco on almost any kind of breakfast egg dish.
He brings it over and whoosh plop...he slides it into Kevin's empty shot glass where the orange juice used to be...clang.
WTH?! I was frustrated at this point.
I stab my egg yolk and it's perfect, the white was cooked and my yolk is raw. The basil was fresh...the prosciutto was a bit fatty but that is to be expected. Our waiter checked on us and asked how things were.
...Me, "My egg is perfect." I think the kitchen should know if their hard work has paid off. I really believe that. Sadly I had spoken to soon.
Meanwhile at that point Kevin had realized he would like some syrup...our waiter was not to be found...I asked a random server but that took awhile and I was getting ready to get it for him myself. (The syrup was placed on the table, not thrown at us.)
As Kevin sat there with empty shot glasses in front of him and I went to stab my next yolk...
....it was a travesty. The yolk was runny all right...I like that....but there was what looked like clear alien slime as well....Noooooooooooo!!!!! Raw egg whites! At this point, for some reason, I lost my niceness.
I looked at my 'fresh' basil...it was half brown. Have you ever eaten basil after it turns brown?...It's bitter. It's ok though because of the alien slime I was unable to even take a bite of the rest of my breakfast. I was aliened out.
Our waiter was no where to be seen and Kevin's shot glasses were still empty. Our waiter had mentioned some girl named Jessica...I wonder where she was?
Kevin was getting thirsty it had been about ten minutes and we hadn't seen or heard from anyone...that worked there. He went to the, 'thanks for waiting carafe' of coffee at the front of the restaurant and grabbed a paper cup of coffee.
About five minutes later the manager walks by...
Her name is S****. Kevin had a discussion with her. I had a lot to say.
....I pointed out my brown basil and then...I lost my shit because she said
..."It's not bad, it turned brown because it was under the heat lamp." She was serious. I was about to have a conniption. If my food had been under the heat lamp long enough for the basil to turn brown then my egg white...and probably yolk would have been cooked.
Kevin gently kicked me under the table. I really was starting to sound batshit crazy...and nothing was going to make me happy.
We asked her for the check because we still hadn't seen our waiter.
She had taken off my Eggs and given us a gift card for $20.00. I appreciate that she did that but she did the unforgiveable...she told me I was wrong...about food. That's a bit cocky of me I know....but I know food.
The waiter finally showed up...
Him..."Oh, are you done?!" Artificial surprise...I can smell the #9 buddy! ;)

Thankfully the gift card is for all three of the owners restaurants...because I will NOT go back to over trendy, over rated, over priced, Overeasy.